Wednesday, October 11, 2006

What a woman will do for a man


There is a lot that women do for their men...at least, there is a lot that I do for mine. One of them involves inflicting bodily harm on myself.

Last night I reveled in the pleasure of living alone and decided what a good time it would be to indulge myself in a bit of pampering. Well, maybe it wasn't pampering, per say...

It involved my bikini line and a tub of hot wax.

I'm not going to go into much detail, because I don't believe in inflicting pain on anyone else aside from myself, but I will say a few things.

Normally, I use deplitory creams for hair removal. It's quick (kinda), easy and doesn't hurt a bit. It gets rid of ALL the hair too, so you can put it pretty much everywhere. Only problem is, it doesn't leave you as smooth as waxing and grows back pretty damn fast...which means you have to apply it every other day and then it starts to be a big pain in the ass.

So, I thought, why not try waxing. Yes, I realize I am insane for trying this by myself, but I'm too self-concious to just spread it for some chick at a salon and besides, I like a challenge. I tried waxing with cold strips before but they don't so much yank the hair out as they just broke it off at the surface and all you were left with was yucky stubble. Which would explain why it didn't hurt so much.

Anyhoo, last night I armed myself with the scalding tub of goo (didn't need strips which was cool), a cup of Earl Grey tea and a sugar-free oatmeal cookie and prepared to go bare. As in Brazilian. As in, all gone.

The worst part was when I spread the hot wax on (OW, should have waited till it cooled off) and waited 20 seconds for it to harden so I could rip it off.

This is when it hit me: "Oh shit. I think I've made a mistake. This is going to hurt like hell, isn't it?"

And then you realize that it's too late. Wax on, wax off. The only way to get the stuff off was to rip it out. I bit my lip and let it rip.

I must say, after my initial reaction (which was ##$%^&^@*!), it didn't actually hurt that badly. Of course, it hurt enough that I could only do half of myself.

The other half I will do tonight, after watching Lost and perhaps taking a few Advil. Now, here comes the bad part about living alone. I have never have anyone to see my wonderful wax job.

Boo.

But anyways, this brings me to the things that women do to please their men and keep them happy. Keeping myself tidy is something that I do, along with ALWAYS wearing matching lingerie, dressing nicely and making myself look presentable.

Do note though, that my boyfriend does not ask me to do these things, nor do I think he would care if I didn't do these things. Maybe he doesn't even notice, I don't know. That's not the point. The point is, that these are the types of things that women do, in order to keep their men happy, even if their men don't give a hoot anyway. But if women feel it will make them happy, it in turn, will make the women happy to do it. After all, my boyfriend says he loves it when I wear a wifebeater and cargo pants. But that's not going to stop me from dressing up (besides, aside from like Giselle, who looks hot in cargo pants anyway? I just look like a skid, which I was at 16.)

So what do you women think? What do you like to do for your man? Or do you subscribe to the uber-feminist view and think that we are just degrading ourselves by succumbing to societal stereotypes? And you men (I know you are out there) is there anything a woman does for you that you appreciate? Is there anything that YOU do for them?

13 comments:

jeff and ross said...

(Ross)
Woo-hoo!

hucklebuck said...

I believe it was Dave Chappelle that said, "All a woman needs to do to please her man is play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so much."

There might have been a fourth component to keeping a guy happy, but those three are pretty much it. Anything beyond those, are probably derivatives of the original three.

Wanderlusting said...

I oughta learn to shut up then.

hucklebuck said...

No need to do that!

According to this blog, you have plenty of interesting things to say.

Unless you nag a lot. That's what Dave's probably referring to.

Anonymous said...

never mind the dickheads.

it is axiomatic that wherever you go, you will encounter a percentage of vacuous idiots.

the differences between men & women is what makes life so interesting.

as for your speculation about the boyfriend, trust me... he notices.

hucklebuck said...

I may be a vacuous idiot with a penis for a cranium, but at least I don't smell like pickle juice.

Yeah.....put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Wanderlusting said...

Hmmm. I like where this is going..pickle juice.

hucklebuck said...

Yeah, it's one of the top 5 worst things you could perpetually smell like, right up there with...

-Rosie O'Donnell's douch bag
-gorgonzola dipped in Brut cologne
-that smell you get when you leave a half eaten blimpie in your glove compartment for 8 weeks
-and the stock room at Taco Bell

manda jane said...

I too have felt your waxing pain!! I too have had the bright idea to go ahead... and GET IT OVER WITH!!

... that's when I got half a strip ripped off and changed my mind!!

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO GET THAT SHIT OFF???????

It doesn't come off!! I tried! I even jumped in the tub and tried getting it off with warm water, in the tub... thinking it would soften the wax and melt off!!! Only to discover that now my "coochie" and legs were "glued together" FUCK!

how'd I get loose you ask? well I looked at the box laying on the counter and turned it around to see if they put an "in case you get stuck together emergency #" and a little blue vile fell out....
A MAGIC SERUM THAT MAKS THE WAX DISSAPEAR!!

.... will never attempt to wax myself EVER again in my life!! .... rather leave that to the proffessionals!

Shrimp on the Barbie said...

You STILL wear matching bra and pants? That is EFFORT my girl. Way to keeep your guy on his toes. You are Super GIRLfriend, fo sho! But how about this? Wear no underthings AT ALL and hell be just as happy ;)

At home Brazlian waxing can be done (I came, I saw, I screamed) Just don't think about it and PULL!@

Indiana said...

My current keeps it bare, though she goes to a salon, and when she bothers to wear panties they always match her bra...

Do I notice...yes and I thankful...every chance I get ~grin~

Manders said...

Hehe...loove this topic.
I love having a waxed bikini line! (especially for a b/f... or when going to a hot & sexy destination)
I am very impressed with anyone who will wax their hoo-hoo on their own. No way can I ever do that...I am much too chicken.
But if anyone wants to know a great waxer, check out Decleor at Sears DT Vancouver -fantastic service, not too $$$, quick rips, pros, super looking crotch style (or shall I say "bikini line")!
Cheers!

Sean said...

it's kinda funny, alot of the things that girls "do for boys" i would kinda rather do without... i think it's cute when the bras and panties don't match, i love girls who wear glasses instead of contacts, i like the fresh-faced look and one of my crisp, white tee shirts is sexier than any lingerie...