Thursday, October 19, 2006

Adventures in Unemployment

Trying to enjoy my first full day of unemployment (yesterday didn't count because I was in shock and slept through most of it) I decide to surf the net.

I'm lazy and relaxed and too tired to get dressed so I just sit on my couch in my Superman underwear (actually from Victoria's Secret but they are red and spandexy so...) legs splayed haphazardly and enjoying the sunlight that periodically streams through my large, open windows. Then...

...there is a sudden BANG at the window.

I look up to see a man peeping in at me through the half-open blinds.

By the way, I'm on the third floor.

Confused and feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, I jump up, let out a little scream, and immediately shut the curtains. A few more bangs follow from behind the curtains, so I cautiously make my way to the other window and peer out. Ropes are hanging down the side of the building. The window washers are hard at work. Peeking in at girls sitting spread eagle in their lingerie must be a job perk.

Lesson one of unemployment is...don't take lazing around in your underwear during the day for granted. You never know who might be looking in.

*****
Another lesson in unemployment? The minute you step in the shower, your buzzer will ring. You will have to jump out of the shower, soaking wet and let the FedEx people in because you've ordered your Halloween costume days ago and you are hoping this is it.

The man at the door hands you a thin package for a "David Vasey." Wearing just a towel and dripping all over the package, you try and explain that you aren't David Vasey and you don't know who David Vasey is. The FedEx guy doesn't believe you and makes you sign for it.

David Vasey, your membership forms from the Scarborough Country Club have arrived.

****
I think I'm going to get dressed before anything else happens.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I too am sitting around bored. The sad part is i'm at work and for the first time in about three mths I can't get motivated to do anything. Normally when I get like this I just show up here to amuse myself... But today I don't even feel like harassing you even after the creepy window thing. Sorry to hear about the job that was a sweet gig. I will say that after reading about you on here I am sure it won't take long for you to find something. You seem to have your shit together which is more than I can say about most individuals in the work place today. Good Luck :)

Kass said...

lmao. Well thats what you get for lounging around lol.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha my brother is a window washer and you won't believe the weird shit he sees. One couple was having sex, and when they saw him they just waved at him and kept going!

Wombat & Aspen said...

Chicks flouch around in their smalls too eh?

Maybe there is concordance between the sexes on at least this issue.

Traveling Chica said...

Oh this was funny... sounds like the type of luck I'd have! :)

Vegas Princess said...

Fun things always happen when barely dressed. It makes things more interesting.