Yay! It's Friday and you know what that means...well, nothing really...except it's Friday the 13th (spoooky). And it also means that most of us don't have to work tomorrow, therefore we should be in a good, nay, GREAT mood.
Also thought I would try and ruin this mood by posting about something a bit, er, heavy. Whoo-hooo!
It's about Cheating. Dun, dun, dun.
I find it funny how in this day and age, being faithful to your loved one is considered a virtue and not something we really should be taking for granted.
I've heard this from a lot of women, "Yeah, we have our problems. At least he wouldn't cheat on me." Meaning, they stick with a guy who A) a liar B) or jerk C) a weasel or, heaven forbid, D) verbally or physically abusive. And all because they think he wouldn't cheat on them.
Since when did "not-cheating" become something that people should be praised for? Shouldn't this be inherit, isn't it common sense and courtesy, not to cheat? When did it become something of a unicorn?
That's one thing (I have a bunch of things). The other thing is, when it comes to the adage "Once a cheater, always a cheater," does this hold any truth?
I was cheated on (many times) by a guy who had cheated on every girl he had before me. Should I have seen it coming? Yes. Did I? Yes. Why did I stay with him then? Cuz I'm an idiot. I should also mention that I never had proof of his cheating until after we broke up and we were both 16 at the time. So, because he cheated on me and everyone else, does that mean his next girlfriend should have been concerned (I would be, but that's for other reasons)? Do we have any right to base someone's present on their past? As I have gone through the humiliation and heartbreak of being cheated on, this may make me more inclined to distrust a man who has cheated on someone in the past. Then again, maybe I would have to take in certain factors, such as, why did he do it? How many times did he do it? What was the relationship scenario? But even if they have all these "legitimate" excuses to their actions, does that ever make it right?
Another thing (I told you there were lots of things) is the differences between men and women when it comes to cheating.
I think most women's biggest fears are that their men will cheat. When it comes to men, I'm not sure if that fear registers or not. So, if you are a guy, is it something that you worry about? And if it isn't, why? Is it because by nature, women are naturally more loyal than men, whereas men are polygamous bastards who need to plant their seed everywhere? Or is this just a stereotype that we are taught to believe (I would hope so). Are men just as concerned as women about being cheated on? Or are they naive enough that they don't worry about that sort of thing?
The last thing I want to discuss, is that is there anything you can do to prevent someone from cheating on you? You know the saying "she drove me to do it." Can you really excuse that behaviour on something that the other person did? And is there a way to prevent cheating from happening in the first place?
I know ONE of the reasons why my ex-bf cheated on me was because I didn't put out enough. Keep in mind, I was 16 and if you were in my shoes, you wouldn't wanna put out all that much either. But, it does make me think. If I did have sex with him everytime he wanted, would that have prevented him from cheating? While I'm at it, if I gave him more space, lost more weight and became a doormat, would that have prevented it too? It's tough to say, but I do know that a lot of women do an awful lot of preventitive measures to try and prevent their man from straying...but in the end, I guess it's really a matter of fate. Try all you might, but if a guy (or girl) is going to cheat, he's (she's) going to cheat. Or is that all baloney?
Keep in mind, of course, that these are theoretical questions, and if you are in a loving relationship, your trust in that person is what really should stop you from worrying about being cheated on. Still, it feels sometimes like it's a very basic, primal fear.