The Goldilock's Conundrum, otherwise known as:
Does size really matter?
(By the way, this question goes both ways, for men and women. Anyway, if you keep reading you know what you're getting into)
Last night Manders and I went out to Balthazar, just because its so fricking cool. I was just there the weekend before but it certainly made an impression on me. What it is is a bar/lounge/club/restaurant in a Italian style villa. One large room is for the diners. It has a fab menu, funky artwork and a live DJ who spins beats that almost makes you want you to drop your vanille creme caramel and dance. There's also a Fred Astaire musical that's projected onto a artfully decrepit wall. The beauty of the place is, once your done eating, you can grooove on over to the bar and mingle with Vancouverites, or head over to the other room which is more the red lights/loungey/dance floor fun.
Anyhoo, that was the setting, and you know the cast. Now we talk about the script.
"Ever been with a man who is too small or too big?" M asked innocently.
Thankfully I have not been with either, though as you know, I haven't been with many men in general, so I'm not sure I was the best person to ask.
I asked her if she had. She had been with both, a man she dubbed "pencil dick" and a man that was "hung like a horse."
"Both sucked," she said. She made a jabbing motion with her finger and added sound effects to help me visualize (which I didn't want to): "Poka, poka, poka." Like someone ramming a glue stick in you (sorry, again this was her analogy).
She then told me about the guy who was so large that she cried out "Don't hurt me!" Or something like that when she saw it. I'm not sure, but from the way she described, I don't think she even got very far with him.
So this got me thinking...does size** really matter when it comes to sexual satisfaction?
I would hope not, but then again I wouldn't know. But what I have heard from others is that when they are, erm, "less-blessed" they often make great lovers because they realize their, erm, "short-comings"(giggle) and make up for them in generous ways.
I've also heard that men who are "very-blessed" often don't know what the hell they are doing and don't bother putting in any extra time and attention because they think they don't have to. Like Samantha Jones said, "Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be."
Is there any truth to this? And, while we are at it, does the same apply to women (boobs and all)?
Personally, I don't think its the size at all, but what you do with it, that counts. In the end, I believe its more about the man who owns it than anything else.
**average size being 5-7 inches.
Disclaimer: Please excuse the crude pictures. We were bored.