I had a heated discussion about beauty the other day.
It started with a post I read on another blog. The post was innocent enough, Indy wanted to know if wearing a push-up/padded bra was false advertising or not. A lot of women on the blog came on and made comments along the lines of "Push-up bras are for insecure chicks with small racks" and "It falls into the same line as wearing make-up...girls who wear too much are usually ugly or insecure."
I thought some of these comments were a bit harsh and a bit skewed. I have push-up bras, of course, but do I have a small rack? No. I wear make-up, and sometimes if I go out, what I wear might be considered "too much." But am I ugly? No. Insecure? A little (or a lot, it depends on the day). It made me think that a lot of these girls were either A) blessed with huge boobs therefore they can make snide comments about other girls wanting to measure up or B) really pretty, therefore not needing makeup, and can make more snide comments.
Either way, is it fair to look down on women for "false advertising" and for giving in to societies standard of beauty? Why is OK for these "natural women" to look down on women who don't conform to their standard of what women should be. Is it just to assume that women who put time and care into their appearance are weak and beneath those women who don't give a damn?
Everyone has reasons to do what they do. In my opinion, if a push-up bra or make-up or control top panty-hose or high heels makes a woman feel better about herself, then does it really matter that the reason she feels better about herself is because she then thinks she is more attractive to the opposite sex? Sure, that may seem shallow, but let's assume that this isn't the only thing she does that makes her feel better about herself. Let's assume that she volunteers once a week at a homeless shelter, that she's doing her Masters Degree, that she is a loving mother or friend or girlfriend and that she feels good about herself regardless is she is made up or not. Is it still OK to look down on her because she gives into the societal norms? And if she doesn't have all of that, is it OK still?
Back to the boobs: I had a conversation about this with my BF. In the end, I think he came to the conclusion that it really is false advertising. My conclusion was, how the hell is that false advertising? Granted, my bras don't make me a size bigger, they just "enhance" "shape" and "mold." But come on, even if you are an A cup, I don't think any bra is going to give you B-cup boobs. And I don't think some guy is going to take you home, take off your bra and say "where did they go?" And if he really is that dissapointed by your "false advertising" he's probably not worth your time anyway. But even then, if a chick goes out with mundo boobs that aren't her own (NOT talking about breast implants and surgery...that's an entirely different ball game), in order to make herself feel more confident, is that wrong? Does it matter? If it does, then why?
I have a friend whom thinks she is flat so she often wears a padded-bra. Who is she doing it for? Herself. Does her boyfriend care if she's bigger or not? Nope.
*Sigh* I'm tired and what I'm trying to say isn't coming out so easily. In my head this was an articulate post but I'm afraid there are just so many facets to this topic, I can't focus on just one. So, I'm not really sure what I'm talking about here.
I just saw the Dove video below and it reminded me of this whole "Beauty Myth" we have going on here. I guess, I'm just trying to say that while some women may be confident enough or whatever, to go out without any kind of enhancement whatsoever, there are women who feel better with a little boost to their bust and some mascara. Are either of them wrong? I don't think so.
Maybe in the end, it's all about a balance. Yes, I wear make-up, I even went to school for it. And yes, I like to dress up on the weekends (Ok, if you know me, it might seem like all the time) but it makes me happy. Make-up and clothes are fun for me! But that also doesn't meant I don't go grocery shopping in sweatpants and pimples either. Somedays I give a shit about how I look and somedays I don't. That's healthy for me and whether I gave a damn or didn't most of the time, I don't think it's something that should be held against me.
I'm not sure how all of this ties into this video or not. I just thought it would be a nice send-off about what we are expected to be and so no wonder us "weak" ones fall into conforming to the beauty traps. Our society is fucked and we get the bum rap.
The Evolution Of Beauty
It's just tough sometimes to be a woman.