Monday, December 29, 2008

Holiday Over - Reality Hits

Hope you all had a great Christmas. I know I sure did, one of the best ever.

No, I didn't really get many gifts or anything like that but since my Christmasses have been known to be bawl-your-eyes-out total trainwrecks with my dysfunctional family, the fact that this one went smoothly - and was actually PLEASANT! - meant all the world to me.

Besides our Xmas Eve dinner going as good as one could hope for, there were other grand things in the figuritive stockings:

*My boyfriend and I's gift to each other was to go to Disneyland (we went last Jan too). We had ordered the flight and tickets (hotel was free) online on my mother's card since we were too in debt with our credit cards to do so. Our plan was to pay her back when we could. But her gift to US was that we didn't have to pay her back! Score! Free trip to Disneyland - couldn't have asked for more (except maybe an iPod) and I know how much weight that took off of my bf's shoulders.

*I refinanced my mortgage, meaning I pay a little extra each month (around $200) on my mortgage to have the peace of mind of paying off all of my credit cards. Yep, it's embarassing and nasty but I have well over $10,000 owed on credit cards. Bad spending habits, several trips to Europe, California, Hawaii, running out of money, all of these happenings since 2004 have caused this atrocious amount of debt. And now, finally, after years of having this on my shoulders, of knowing that I was spending over $400 a month in total on all my payments, barely going above the minimum and realizing I would be paying it for the rest of my life (which is what happens when you only pay off the interest), I will be free.

Best part of all - I think - is that the bank is forcing me to pay off the cards with the money and close them down (keeping one lowest interest paid off and open). So I have no choice. And while my credit will now improve over the years, for now it is so bad that there is no way I would be able to open another card - thus avoiding this again.

I do have to work hard at changing my habits though and only using the card if I have the means to pay it all off before the due date. But with a fresh start and a fresh year, I believe I can - and will do it.

Those were the great things that happened this here are some bad things:

*My boyfriend (he is a glass technician) got $250 for a Xmas bonus last year which the boss proudly gave to him saying that the business did well and this is the result...keep in mind though that the boss is a cheap, fat fuck and everyone else got $1000 in their bonus.

This year was their best year on record and my bf was counting on the same amount, and most likely more since the boss was flaunting how much money they were making. Anyway, turns out that because my boyfriend sliced open his hand last month and lost a day of work because of it, the boss was giving him only $150 this year, saying that the $100 cheque my bf got from Workers Comp counted towards the bonus! If that wasn't so damn cheap enough already, when the bonus actually came, there was only $50 in the envelope! My boyfriend had only $50 to buy all his Christmas presents. He was counting on that money for so many things, pay back people he owed, buy his parents nice presents, take his work buddy out for a beer or two. And yet he could only get a bottle of wine for his dad and that's it. I know that his dad understands and his parents are so rich that presents don't matter, but it matters to my poor bf.

I know how horrible it feels to not be respected by your boss. There are two owners though and the other boss, plus shop forman, think my bf is a fantastic worker - pity the one in charge of the money (who knows nothing about glass or people skills ) is so damn cheap and ignorant.

*Ahh and the coupe de resistance.

Earlier this year, my building switched property management companies. The new management company raised our monthly maintenance fees from $282 to $420 in order to make up for future elevator repairs (techincally we shouldn't pay until AFTER the work is done but whatever). It sucked and made living here a lot harder, I fell behind in payments as it was tough enough as it was ($282 is high anyway).

Now we get a letter saying that in FIVE days (no two-week notice, which is ILLEGAL) they are raising our fees to $640!

People are so outraged that we had a meeting over this yesterday and another one today.

The property management company is claiming they need to redo the parking lot - which not only means I have to be without my space for 6 months - but that we are all getting charged for it.

We don't own our spaces. We rent them. The company owns them. Asking us to pay is like a landlord asking a tenant to pay for all the repairs and renos they want to do. NOT FAIR AND NOT LEGAL!

Plus the money that they get from us renting the spaces each money equals $48,000 a year! That money goes into their pockets directly - they aren't putting towards any of the repairs! We have to pay and some of us dont even HAVE parking spaces!

Conveniently, the management company, Porte Realty ltd. is away until the 5th, even though they are taking out the new amount of funds out tomorrow (if you have direct withdrawal). Luckily I pay by cheque and you can BET that I, and many others, are not making out the amounts to include the parking lot.

Anyway, at the meeting last night, I volunteered to write up a petition and a letter to Porte Realty to explain how unfair this is and to arrange a meeting with them - good luck with that though, since no one can ever get them on the phone or reach them.

If that doesn't work, you can bet I will raise a stink about it. Imagine that, I have to pay all this money a month now. Can you imagine if I still had to pay a ton towards my credit cards? Can you imagine if my bf didnt live with me and wasn't splitting the costs? Even so we can't afford this increase...MY MAINTENANCE FEES ARE MORE THAN MY MORTGAGE PAYMENTS! Its the principal of the matter, the fact that the company has no proof that this is how much the parkade will cost, no permission from us to start another HUGE expensive project when the elevators are NOT EVEN FIXED YET and to expect us to pay for something when they HAVE THE MONEY TO DO IT THEMSELVES!

And to give us FIVE DAYS NOTICE? What bout people who want to move because of this, they need time to sell before it takes effect? What about people who rent, their rents will go up, what if THEY can't afford it?

This is so horrible and makes me so mad, I couldn't even sleep last night over the injustice. All I know is that today I am writing the best damn angry letter ever and we are going to get these bastards. As I said, I will make a stink if they ignore us - they say a few people can't make a difference and fight the system, especially if it's corrupt, but don't underestimate me at least. Even if legal options seem our only option, there is always the MEDIA and that can work best of all. You can bet that I will take this story to all of my connections in the media if nothing comes of it and at least will threaten the company with this action if they continue to ignore all 130 enraged occupants in this building!

On the plus side, my bf and I are still going to move out, regardless...we are going to buy a new place by April, you can bet on it. But since the market sucks big time now (and let's face it, who wants to move into a building with over $600 a month to maintaining shit), we are going to have to rent it out. But as before renting it out would have left us with profit, we are actually going to have to charge a very high price for a very unworthy place, just to break even!

It's mind-bending. I hate how the minute you get a handle on one with money-wise (ie, my debt) something else comes along and takes you back down again.

I thank my lucky stars though that at least I did get a handle on those things, before this horrible atrocity came along.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

That Christmas Spirit

Yup. CHRISTMAS spirit! Put that in your pipe and smoke it - call me "un-PC" I don't care. It's called Christmas because it celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. Christ...Mas...

Yes, it is a terribly commercial holiday but regardless of whether you are a Christian and celebrate it on a religious level or are aetheist or whatever, it's still a time of giving and great food and folks dressed up like Eskimos (yes, also not PC). And it is still CHRISTMAS!

I have no qualms telling people Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. Yes I am Christian but it is a Christian Holiday and after how many thousands of years now, I don't why people raise a stink about it now.

After all, we don't call Easter "Bunny Day" and we don't call Hannukah "Candle day(s)" - I understand that non-Christians despise the fact that it celebrates the birth of something they don't believe in. But if that's the case, WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING IT? And if you still want to celebrate the "festive season" instead of the religious aspect, that's great (after all I think the majority of people don't celebrate it as a religious event) but DON'T think that you can change the name of a age-old, classic holiday because it doesn't suit YOUR beliefs.

Christmas is what it is - a time of joy, thanks and merriment. It should be enjoyed by everyone from all walks of life and beliefs because at its heart it celebrates human spirit and charity which I think everyone can relate to. But it's still called Christmas and in my mind, always will be.

*End Rant*

*Start of New Rant*

F*&*^*&ing Christmas!

Sigh, it brings out the best and worst in people.

For example, a huge snowstorm hit our province, British Columbia, AGAIN over the weekend and as a result my bf and I were snowed in at his parents house in the suburb of Tsawwassen. This meant I didn't have to go to work which was great but it also meant that at some point I was going to have to drive from Tsawwassen and back to my apartment in the city.

We had seperate cars so we both left yesterday at roughly the same time. Even downtown the roads were icey and dicey and buses were being pushed up hills and shoveled out. I managed to make it into my parking lot. But not to my spot. You see the parking lot had over a foot of snow in it and was not plowed or shoveled at all.

Slippery roads and tire-treaded tracks I can handle in my little Neon wih all-season tires but not a drift of snow. So after spinning the tires, revving the engine and smelling burnt rubber, I finally kinda made it through the whiteness and where my spot should be.

Meanwhile, my bf had packages in his car so he was going to park in our loading zone and unload them. The zone though was also snowed over so he parked in this clear space. He left a note on the dash stating he was in apartment 301 and left his cell number. After helping me with my car (pushing it) we went upstairs.

He got ready for the hockey game he was going to while I opened the window to listen to the streets filled with the sound of tires spinning and snow flying. Then I heard yelling.

Some woman in the parking lot below looked like she was trying to get into the space where Mike parked. She was screaming into a phone, telling someone his license plate and talking about tow trucks.

I told Mike he better get down there ASAP and move his car.

So he went down and I watched out the window. Mike moved his car out with not much effort while she took literally 10 minutes to pull into the spot he was just in. Tires spinning. Snow flying.

When he came back later I asked him how it went. He said while he was walking to the car she stopped him and asked him if it was his car. He said yes and tried to explain that he parked it there while he unloaded his stuff and was now going to move it.

Well she wouldn't even let him finish. She flipped right out, cut him off every second, used "fuck this" and "fucking that" every second word. She didn't believe he lived in 301 with me and wrote down my name and his and our apartment number. She said if she ever saw his car around the building she would have it towed. She said he didn't understand the severity of his actions.

His actions? He parked in another person's spot because the loading one was snowed in and only for 20 minutes max. He moved his car the minute she arrived. What's the freaking big deal.

I hope this bitch shows up at my door to complain because I am going to rip her a new vagina. Most wonderful time of the year indeed. Where is your Christmas Spirit, bitch?

Luckily there are nice people out there who redeem the bad ones. Like this morning. My bf had to park on the hill last night and this morning he couldn't back out without his tires spinning and without bashing into the car in front of him. Well after we tried aimlessly to shovel him out, laydown cardboard, etc, in below freezing temperatures, a man who was watching nearby came to give us a hand and push his car. Then he gave us some salt and a better shovel and soon enough my boyfriend was on his way.

It's nice to see that though a few bad apples out there can ruin the season, there are always others who want to change your mind.

Now I'm off to work after I've spent an hour myself trying to shovel out of my lot. Wish me luck!


I have a very special favour to ask all of you.

It's Christmas time, the time of thanks, a time of generousity and a time of compassion.

My boyfriend's talented band, The Saints Collapse has recorded a few Xmas songs with 100% of all proceeds going to the British Columbia Children's Hospital.

This is very dear to me because the BC Children's Hospital took excellent care of me during the first six years of my life - the hospital also took care of my Bf's dear sister when she had cancer (Lymphoma) at 11 years old. Thanks to the hospitals care and to generous donations from people like YOU, we are both the saucy young women we are today.

So please - go visit this website and donate. The donations are via Paypal and you may donate as much or as little as you like.

In return you will be able to download their Christmas songs - currently available is an amazing rock version of Carol of the Bells and a dreamy version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The band has done a wonderful job bringing this classic songs to a new light - and regardless of whether you enjoy rock or not - they are a great addition to the holiday season.

So please, donate, download and listen. Let's bring Xmas cheer into your home and into the hearts of BC's sick children!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I remember....

I had my birthday party last weekend and it was a lot of fun. My friends are the creative types so it's always interesting to have different groups mash together, you get a whole range of tastes and opinions. And of course, fashion sense...

My friend (and fellow blogger) Robyn and I looked quite smashing...

As did my boyfriend who was wearing a sweater I picked out for him...

We listened (begrudgingly) to the Goo Goo Dolls and Collective Soul

I put on this funky hat I saw on Blossom...

People were wearing the latest and coolest stuff

And though we still had our little cliques...

We got along great...

If you can't tell by now - or are starting to think my friends and I have the worst fashion sense EVER - I oughta tell you my party was a theme party.

And the theme was the 1990's.

How totally bodaciously awesome is that? I mean, what a "SCREAM!"

It was so much fun to either rip through your high school clothes (or your mom's current active wardrobe) or Value Village and seek out those nostalgic treasures from your youth.

For me, I went through many stages in the nineties. But I definitely remember having an affinity for tappered purple Guess jeans with zippers at the bottom (sadly coming back in style), Club Monaco sweatshirts and t-shirts (this was when Club Monaco was just a Canadian brand and had just started up), Flannel shorts, Converse high tops, Doc Martins (boots and shoes!), Anything Angela Chase would have worn on "My So-Called Life" (or her friend Rhianne, for that matter), Velvet chokers, Wallet chains, Bodysuits, Denim shirts, Leggings, The Rachel Haircut, Plaid, Cargo pants and babydoll tees, Slip dresses (anything Jewel would have worn), Overalls!...oh man, the list goes on!

And the makeup - MY GOODNESS, THE MAKEUP - What fun it was to create Matte eyes with tawny eyeshadow, sculpted cheeks with brown blush, darken my brows in Drew Barrymore tadpole style and fill my lips in with MAC lipliner in Spice (topped with powder for that EXTRA Matte look!

It was sooooo 1995.

What do you remember most about the 90's? Is there anything that you still wear today (for example, I'm totally wearing Doc Martins again!)?

Photo by Jesse Winter Heading. Jean Shirt by DKNY Jeans. Polyester Floral print dress by Jacob. Tights by H&M. Boots by Doc Martin. Cloche hat by Forever 21. Flower from the 90's

Monday, December 15, 2008

Birthday Chills + Thrills


That is the sound everyone in my office is making.

It is officially winter and f*cking cold out.

Before I continue, I would like to remind you that although I am from "Canada," I am from Vancouver, the part of Canada which RARELY sees snow, at least not until February, and temp barely goes below freezing.

All last week is was between 5-10 degrees C (that's like 40-50 F for all you Americans). Not bad, really, except that the downside is that it's accompanied by pouring rain most of the time.

For my birthday, my bf whisked me off to Whistler (home, along with Vancouver, of the 2010 Olympics).

We stayed in a beautiful hotel, ate wonderful food and drank our faces off.

We basically stayed inside the entire time because when we braved the outdoors for a trip to the bar, liqour store and *ahem* other stuff, WE NEARLY DIED! IT WAS THAT COLD!

Later I found that with the windchill, it was -24!

Anyhoo, we got back yesterday only to discover a similar thing going on in Vancouver. We left the city with a bearable 5C and clear skies...came back to -5C with snow absolutely everywhere! And now with the windchill, it feels like -17C!

I know we Vancouverites are "wusses" for complaining, considering the REST OF CANADA has to deal with this all the time, every winter. But for the balmy West Coast, we sure aren't used to it. I agree that it's better than cold rain, but when your office's heating system breaks down because it's too cold, the novelty wears off.

Anyway, what I now realize I have to do is rethink my wardrobe this week. I am going to have to layer or sweater my ass walking around in the office with your winter coat on, as everyone seems to be doing. Think Warm! Think Cozy! Think Bulk!

Here are some fashiony pics from Whistler:

My new ASOS dress and necklace (I must have been stoned in this picture since it was -24 outside and yeah...don't remember it being that cold at that exact moment, though my smile is just a tad forced looking, dontcha think?).

LOVE that necklace, btw. It's such a close take on those edgy necklaces Burberry has been popping out lately.

Also, the back of this dress pulled me in when I first saw it - plus the colour. LOVE GRAY/GREY!

Finally breaking out the warm accessories: Gloves + Hat Forever 21

On other news, I discovered today that I will be supplying relief to the receptionist until Xmas break. Totally blows.

In my last job, I had to do the same and I dreaded getting on that phone everyday, even if it was just for an hour or so. At least this time there the system is easier, I only have to answer the phone and not do anything else and it's only till the girl who normally provides relief gets back from Vacay on the 5th. Still...I heard rumours that the girl was going back to school and I am praying it's not true because who is going to take her role? ME? Me who HATES reception, who is NOT a receptionist, who did not go to school for nearly 5 years to just be a receptionist.

I know I would always be in Marketing but it bothers me how I can be pawned off like that. I'm probably overeacting, and I really am grateful to have any job. But at the same time, I like my job (as much as I can) and want to do it really well - but I won't be able do my best if I am up at reception for a lot of the day. I know my boss doesn't want me doing it either. Sigh - I really hope that they can't force you into another position. I was hired to be a marketing and communications assistant and that's where I will fit to stay. I don't mind helping out but God help me if providing relief reception becomes part of my job description!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

~~Sparkles * Sequins* on my Birthday~~

It's my birthday today.

For once I feel optimistic.

I put on my size medium Forever 21 dress (the one I was horrified to put on since it wasn't "small") and sucked it up. I wanted to look prety and grey roses would do that, regardless of the size.

I topped it off my gorgeous but neglected Dolce and Gabbana Tuxedo coat and my birthday present: Vegan leather "Japanese Paper" Magenta tote by Mat and Nat.

And sparkly things for my feet. If you can't wear sparkles, sequins, snakeskin and silver on your birthday, when can you?

I know I was super down/crazy/stressed the other day and I wanted you all to know I am doing better. I have major issues and anger problems and was tired of flying off the handle. I got so mad at my "tired" appearance the other day that I bit my compact and cracked the mirror which shattered in my mouth.

Yeaaaaah. New low.

So I've stopped to re-examine what has been setting me off lately and it has come down to money and appearance...two things that are easily fixable. The former is pretty much fixed because I was approved to re-finance my mortgage which means next week all of my credit card debt (plus some of my bf's debt) will be paid off in FULL. That's three cards ripped up and closed (with my low-interest, low limit one paid off as well but open for sporadic use). And I will have a tiny bit left over to go into a high-interest savings account for emergencies. Finally.

The latter will come along if I just keep getting up at 6AM (like I did today, even though it's my bday and I did give myself permission to sleep in if I wanted to) and jogging. I can only go for 15 minutes before I need a break but I'm slowly working my way up to a 1/2 hour run.

Also, my life is lacking stimulation, which I have started to fix by taking a cooking class (see later in post), signing up for a travel and food writing course in Feb and trying to more new and interesting things. Novelty is key right now. Passion is missing. I'm also going to take up yoga once a week at night and maybe a singing lesson or too. What a scary thing I find singing - I wish I liked the sound of my voice so I'm hoping that I can learn enough to not break my own eardrums. And so I can rule at Rock Band.

Finally, my tempermental, anxious, SPAZMATRON personality needs a reboot too. I have re-discovered Bach's Rescue Remedy Spray which has really been making me mellow out when things get rough. Sometimes, a little too well. And remembering to breathe can really helps too.

Sweater: Suzy Shier, Skull blouse: Max C, Belt: ASOS, Pencil skirt: F21, Boots: Aldo, Bag: Mat & Nat

Just LOVE my new bag!

Anyway, the cooking class, yes. Part of my stimulation plan. My boyfriend and I took a couples class last night and it was amazing. We learned how to make rack of lamb with mint salsa and crepes with apples, brandy and camembert.

I was in charge of making the crepes for the whole class and it was nerve-wracking being at the front, flipping the runny batter in a heavy cast iron pan and hoping for the best. But as scary as it was, I learned so much and felt so alive in doing so. Even better was getting to eat our efforts afterwards. Y-U-M! I'll post the recipes here next week.

So that's that.

OH WAIT. I knew there was something else!

The winners of the prizes (for your votes last post) are.....

and.... ALice! Two very lovely ladies! YAY! Please email me your contact info so I can get those out to you. As for my last mailout, Wisco you should have yours by now and Eleh, your earrings will be sent Monday -had to wait for them to arrive first!!

Hope you all have a great day like I am having so far (I gave my boss some rescue spray and she's calmed down a lot too, lol). Look for my next post, it's bound to give you some giggles and rekindle some nostalgia for the days gone by ;)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Vote for your Favourite Iconic Style Look

BEHOLD! The end of the November Wardrobe Challenge: The Top Ten Iconic Style looks (as presented by Lucky magazine)

Posh Eclectic

American Classic




California Casual

Arty Slick

Euro Chic


Rock Star

Let me know your favourite via the comments below. On Thursday I will announce the two winners (via random draw), one whom will win deluxe beauty samples and the other who will win a pair of nifty earrings.

Good Luck!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Day 5 - Worst . Day . Ever

Wraparound shirt and pearl necklace: Tommy Hilfiger, Gold bow earrings, Leather and Gold link bracelet, Tweed zipper pencil skirt and Suede Belt (on coat): ASOS, Navy BF Cardigan: Forever 21, Wool camel Coat: Vintage, Leather boots: Bata

Today was American Classic. I like this look a lot and had a lot of things in my wardrobe that I could work with - therefore the look did not contribute to my horrible, horrible day. Well...OK, just a little.

I knew that my car insurance had to be renewed soon but it wasn't until late last night that I realized it had actually expired that day! All the autoplan/insurance places were closed and I realized I would have to go before work the next day. Problem is, I work at 830 and none of the places within walking distance were open until 9AM.

Normally I don't have a problem being late for work for a good reason - and this was one - but I was the only one in the marketing department in the office all week long (hellish week, by the way) and I felt extremely guilty for not being there for the first hour. Anyway, I emailed my boss (who is on business) and the receptionist and let them know I would not be in until 10.

Then I realized something else. I was supposed to start a new Birth Control pack on Wednesday night - I was too lazy (fuck I'm a moron) to go and get my pills and decided to leave it till Thursday night where I would double up (yes, I know, bad, spare me the lectures...but I've also not gotten my period for six months, another problem indeed and no I'm not pregnant but I am also not ovulating which is weird but gives me a little more leeway with the pill) ANYWAY that was my plan.

So last night I am about to go to the drugstore when I realize I don't have my prescription (mind you I went to the drugstore last week and also forgot the prescription) and then couldn't even locate my prescription. My doctor had printed it out on a large sheet of paper, the prescription was typed in 7 point font in the corner and thus I must have thought it was a blank piece of paper and chucked it in the bin.

And now I'm really freaking out because I'm already late with taking it AND now I have to go back to see another doctor to get yet another prescription. Where exactly am I going to find the time to do this when I've already got one appointment in the morning?

Anyhoooooo, so morning comes, and I am exhausted, my brain so foggy, despite the 630 AM jog. I put on my American Classic clothes, excited to wear the pencil skirt that just came in an ASOS box.

But then I have ANOTHER problem. My bank account was in the negative, which meant that I didn't have any money to PAY for insurance. Now, this was something I saw coming and I was supposed to borrow money from my mother to cover this. She gets paid every 5th of the month. Only this morning, her payment did not go through.

Still, I had no time to do anything about this except SCREAM as I had to go to the doctor, so I walked there as fast as I could. And by WALK I mean WIGGLE. This was the first pencil skirt I've had that had ZERO stretch to it. Which was fine, I made going up stairs a challenge and I was unable to stride along with my boots.

Until, suddenly I WAS able to stride...


Yup, as I am going to the doctor's, my skirt rips up the back. Apparently my ass and hips could handle that prison no more and demanded FREEDOM! And freedom they had.

Luckily, I had my coat on so I was able to cover up the embarassment but it was still devestating as I really loved that skirt with it's zipper detail AND it meant I had to go back home and change into something else.

The doctor's appointment went a little more smoothly - she reassured me that my non-period was probably due to the fact I was super strong pills - but what was good is that she recognized my concern over this. I don't want to get pregnant and probably never will want to but it has been weighing on my mind that something COULD be wrong with me. Anyway she mentioned if it was a concern, I could change pills (nah).

I also asked her about my brain fog. She told me it could be a number of things such as constant stress, diet, etc...even spiritual confusion. She said that last one quite a bit and me being spiritual, thought it could be a sign. Either that or she noticed how red and puffy my eyes were. Yes, I had been crying all morning...why? Hard core anxiety over just these inconveniences of the day.

She wrote me a prescription for my pills though. And also, a prescription to watch "Joe Versus the Volcano" - apparently that movie is to get me thinking clearly...I'm confused as to if I should take the prescription to Rogers Video.

Anyway, so after the doctor I had to go back home and change and the wait for the money to come through and transfer it to my account AND THEN wait for that money to appear in my account. Then I hightailed it with my illegal car to the auto place where I recieved the only good news of the day (I've been driving for 10 years now so I get a discount, yay). Then I vrooomed to the drugstore where I had to wait even longer for my prescription to be filled.

In the checkout I picked up a copy of American Mind magazine, with the words "Procrastinating Again?" on the cover.

I arrived at work two hours later than I said I would and three hours later than normal. Ten minutes later I found out I left the lights in my car on.

And here I am - feeling a bit calmer after having eaten but finding it hard to concentrate on anything really, hence why I am writing this now. I realize that I had several hard core panick attacks today with hysterical tears and screaming and that just isn't normal, I don't care how complicated the day has been.

It got me thinking about my life lately. The words that come to mind are DARK, FOGGY and TENSE. I'm not sure what needs to be rehauled and what doesn't - I know I have made some starts by eating more veggies, jogging in the mornings and not buying more clothes. But money still is a major problem, I am so disorganized with my life, my apartment is too small, too dark, too cramped, I am tired all the time and too LAZY when I get home to do anything but sit on my ass and my brain is bored. Plain bored.

My BF and I are gonna sit down tonight and come up with some solutions to these problems and hopefully get my life on track and my head to a place of peace and clarity. It will take some time though so I will let you know each step of the way!

BTW - This was my last outfit, but that didn't stop me from ditching American Classic after the skirt ripped and sliding into another attempt at ROck and RoLL!

Dress and Spike necklace: ASOS, Tights: Emilio Cavallini, Pony-Hair Booties: Manolo Blahnik, Cuff: BF.

One more thing: I will be taking in you votes via comments on your favourite look this week on Monday's post, so be sure to look for that. Two winners will be chosen from a hat for a chance to win awesome samples and cool earrings and will be announced Tuesday or Wednesday. See you Monday!

And of course....

In other news....I have a very special favour to ask all of you.

It's Christmas time, the time of thanks, a time of generousity and a time of compassion.

My boyfriend's talented band, The Saints Collapse (whom you hear streaming now on this blog - or I am trying to get to stream, grrr) has recorded a few Xmas songs with 100% of all proceeds going to the British Columbia Children's Hospital.

This is very dear to me because the BC Children's Hospital took excellent care of me during the first six years of my life - the hospital also took care of my Bf's dear sister when she had cancer (Lymphoma) at 11 years old. Thanks to the hospitals care and to generous donations from people like YOU, we are both the saucy young women we are today.

So please - go visit this website and donate. The donations are via Paypal and you may donate as much or as little as you like.

In return you will be able to download their Christmas songs - currently available is an amazing rock version of Carol of the Bells and a dreamy version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. The band has done a wonderful job bringing this classic songs to a new light - and regardless of whether you enjoy rock or not - they are a great addition to the holiday season.

So please, donate, download and listen. Let's bring Xmas cheer into your home and into the hearts of BC's sick children!!!