Tuesday, June 30, 2009

outta the comfort zone

Last week I lamented that I was totally uninspired with my clothes and resorting to the easy wardrobe of pants + top for a bit. I didn't get many suggestions as to what I should wear, but MizzJ did point out that I am very boho and should maybe try the Blair Waldorf look.

I have been very boho lately but I think that's more because A) my hair is made for boho and B) it's summer and well...it's summer!

Anyway, throughout the winter I wore a lot of pencil skirts as I figure my figure is better suited for that than anything else. But I haven't worn anything like that for a few months now. Of course, the pencil skirt look isn't very summery or bohemian but it's still a look I like to have when I'm feeling saucy. The problem with it being warm now outside, is that I can't wear tights with the skirt.

And the concept of wearing a skirt with bare legs terrifies me.

You see, when I wear dresses I can put on funky gladiator sandals or tie up espadrilles and everything is OK. But with pencil skirts, you kinda have to wear heels (boots work too). I wore flats once with the skirt and I just looked kinda stumpy and dowdy. It didn't work.

The problem, as some of you might figure out, is the scarring/messed up look of my feet/ankles. Yes, whaaa whaaa whine about it some more. But I have been very good lately about trying to not give a fuck what people think about me and just have them exposed. Wearing pants all summer long because I am afraid what people think is just ridiculous and though the fear is there, damnit I want to wear dresses!

Anyhoo, gladiator sandals, tie-up espadrilles and cuffed shoes all offer some sort of protection and a way of hiding my disability. Even if it's just a single string around my ankle, I just feel better about myself. But to wear pumps - without embellishment - to WORK, was just too much.

Or was it? I just said screw it and went for it. I'm sure you all think it's no big deal but that's because you haven't been in my "shoes" - I'm sure it's easy for all of us to say the girl with the giant birthmark on her face has nothing to worry about, but I assure you she does. But only if she lets it.

So to make a very long, tedious (sorry!) story short, I slipped on my favourite pumps and strode out the door that morning feel half-confident (I felt very sexy-secretary and grown-up, which is ridiculous because I'm 27!) and also half-petrified. What would people at work say? What would they think?

I knew they already knew something was up with me - my ankles jut out (from being broken and basically put back on) and that shows even with tights. But they never had a real good look at what was wrong with me. Well, now I would give them that.

And I did. When I was at the coffee machine trying to fill up my mug, I turned around and saw two co-workers just staring at my ankles, puzzled. They looked sheepish when they saw me staring but I just smiled and laughed (as I actually was having problems with the coffee machine) - if I treated it like it was no big deal to have these feet, then they would see it was no big deal to stare.

It's still tough. People will stare at me, like they have my whole life, and I just have to ignore it. Sometimes it makes me sick. I wish they were thinking something good though like "she's well put together" and not "She looks good...oh wait. Something wrong with her feet. Scratch that."

At least now I know I've done it, I took the first step, and now I can go bare ankled to work anyday, just as long as I ready myself for the outcome. That's a first for me and I'm somewhat proud of myself.

Well, thanks for sticking around for my mediocre diatribe. You are rewarded with mediocre pictures!

Paraphernalia necklace of Alice and Wonderland Mad Hatter tea party drawing chain and heart charm

My Mad Men secretary look, tight pencil skirt in animal print and work blouse

Vic Matie metallic mary-jane strap plum shoes in patent leather

Leather jacket: Piazza Sempione; Leopard print pencil skirt: Forever 21; Tuxedo shirt: Guess (from swap); Tank: Forever 21; Earrings (one gold guitar pic and one silver guitar: ASOS; Stud bracelet: Forever 21; Alice in Wonderland lithograph necklace: Paraphernalia; Metallic patent Mary-Janes: Vic Matie from YOOX

OH - I'm having a Forever 21 dress giveaway coming soon here. Very excited!


tanya said...

wow, you look gorgeous! I can't believe that skirt is from forever 21--LOVE :-)

prettylittletangents said...

I'm relatively new to your blog and was therefore a bit shocked to read that you have a disability concerning your ankles. Either you hide it in your photographs or I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was, but I have honestly never noticed anything "off" concerning your appearance. You DO always look put together. But regardless, this clearly was a big thing to overcome for you, so congrats! That takes guts! You look awesome and I'm way envious of your boho hair - I'm in the desperate, shoulder-lenght, growing out stage :)

Elizabeth Victoria C said...

i've got to say i've never noticed the ankle thing before, too distracted by your gorgeous hair and face :) xo

Odette said...

Congrats on taking your first step! :) Love the skirt! You look great and honestly I never would have ever known that there was anything wrong with your ankles if you hadn't said anything! :)

Couture Carrie said...

You look faaaabulous, darling ~ love that skirt!


Shannon said...

What a gorgeous look. That skirt is to die for sexy. I love leopard print--I have a leopard print dress.

And bravo to you for embracing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and anxious and not letting it hold you back from looking absolutely beautiful. =)

OceanDreams said...

Aww, I love Forever 21 and your pencil skirt is so pretty! I am actually wearing a pencil skirt today as well, and to make you feel better, I have really bad knees. They look silly. I don't think your ankles look bad at all - they look great on such a beautiful girl! :)

Velony said...

Great style. You look fab, girl!
Thanks for chcking out my blog btw.


Kass said...

Sweetie, your feet/ankles don't break you, you're still a hot piece of ass! Congrats on the brave new step :)

couture love said...

listen - if people will take time to look at your ankles and not your gorgeous face and awesome style, they're crazy! plus, from the pictures i don't see anything that would be considered an "eye sore" .. but i know what you mean about not knowing exactly how you would feel. xoxo love your blog :)

♥ fashion chalet said...

Really cute shoes, would love great with the Proenza dress you ordered from my Shop. :)

How was the weekend?


Shin said...

You have an extremely pretty face! I love your printed leopard skirt! xxoxoxo

Alice said...

first off... holy crap i am in LOVE with this outfit. want.

secondly - similar to prettylittletangents, even though i *know* all about your ankle/feet issues, i still can never notice/see it in your pictures!

and finally, i would bet money that if people see you, and then notice your ankles/feet, it's not a "she looks so nice! ...oh wait, no she doesn't" reaction; it's more "wow, she looks so nice" and then natural curiousity if they notice something odd in the ankle/foot region, because that's just how we're all wired and if we notice something different we can't help but take a peek. but i can absolutely guarantee you that if these pictures are even 1/10th of an indication, it is in NO WAY "bringing down" or even affecting your overall image. you look hot.

Sher said...

You look gorgeous! No one notices any imperfections. I'm happy for you that you are boldly wearing what makes you happy.

proudly says, said...

i love the skirt so much!

archivingfashion said...

Love the leopard print skirt!
Keep wearing what you want and don't let anyone else's opinions stop you from doing anything different 'cause you look fabulous!

Virenda said...

I, along with the others, have yet to spot anything wrong with your ankles, but needless to say doing something like "baring" yourself to strangers is a hard and courageous thing to do.

I think people forget sometimes how horrifying it really can be.

I've had 3 kids and come beach season I feel like running into my shell and hiding. I look fine, its just the stretch marks that drive me mad.

Again good for you for just GOING FOR IT! and realizing that your a beautiful woman and a few inches of skin that isn't perfect doesn't define or deform your beauty.

Trang said...


Clarity said...

It's good not to care what people think, be free, be you.

I never wear those skirts because people always, always stare at legs regardless of length or width - makes my skin scrawl when they do :)

I hope you had a lovely summery day - inside and out.

Mary said...

there is nothing wrong with your ankles, dear!

Anika said...

You look gorgeous and have killer legs. I couldn't tell there was anything different...???!?...whaddaya talking about? ;)

But I know what you mean in terms of comments and the people who have nothing better to do..I have a massive birthmark on the back of my left leg on my calf. And I used to be aware of the fact that my legs weren't perfect (yeah, yeah, its superficial) but one day I just went, 'screw it...I want to wear short skirts and whatever else the hell I want!'.

I'm so happy you did too :)

have a lovely week in your fab short skirts (the animal print is killer!)

Marian said...

adorable shoes honeya dn that skirt is a cutie honey!!!
ohhh giveaways are always fun.
hope your well.
muah x

Kristin said...

I don't know how anyone could get past your gorgeousness to stare at something as trivial as your scars. Standing O for being brave and venturing out of your comfort zone. You rock! Come check out our giveaway! Tolani scarf up for grabs!

Vegas Princess said...

I think you look doubly fabulous because you had the courage to do soemthing out of your element and rock it! I am so proud of you!

Eyeliah SS said...

Oh good for you! I still didn't see anything on your ankles, even when you pointed it out!! :-)