The Devil Inside

tank: SEE BY CHLOE; jeans: MAVI; sunglasses and jewelry: FOREVER 21; wedges: MICHAEL KORS; bag; MANGO MNG; moto jacket: LA ROK


This goofy devil face is totally the opposite of what I am feeling right now, though I do feel this wealth of anger and evil rollicking inside my soul at the moment.

Allow me to explain - nay - bitch:

I like my job. I don't love it, but I don't mind it. I don't have too much pressure, for the most part I like the people that I work with (though don't get me started on people from other offices). I like that I can write everyday, I like that it is easy enough. I don't like the fact that I have no interest in engineering, but whatever.

I was hired last October, after a summer of fruitless and intense jobs-searching. I was to be a mat leave replacement, but was told I would actually be hired as a full-time employee - not on contract. Well, turns out it was on contract and though at first they were very positive about me staying on beyond the year, things have kinda taken a downturn.

My bosses are positive...meaning, they want me to stay (I think), in fact the other day they told me that despite all the changes (more on that later), there are so many opportunities becoming available, ways to move up, etc. But my bosses don't run the company. In fact, I don't know who does anymore.

Anyway, when I got hired, my company was a small 1,000 firm. They then were taken over by a bigger firm, which proceeded to take over other companies) and soon it was a 4,000 people firm. The integration is still taking place, meaning lots of layoffs and lots of changes - bad changes. People have lost their banked time, their health care plan, company credit cards, if you are sick for more than 4 days, you must go on disability, they've lost their exercise reimbursement plan and now vacation plan.

Before, we were allowed to use our 15 days whenever we wanted. Now, we must accrue them before we use them and we can't go into the negative anymore. I had already used 10 and was planning on using my 5 this summer to go to Vegas, attend a family reunion, go on the boat, etc. Now - suddenly and with NO warning - we are told we can't go negative and therefore I can not use my 5 days until my year is up, ie October. But I may not even BE here in October! So I have to now take a leave of absence, unpaid.

I'm also going to be the Maid of Honour in my best friend's wedding in New Zealand in December. I had always planned to take my 3 weeks of vacation in one go, since it was the start of my second year. But now, I would only be able to take 2 days of vacay (since that will be all I've earned since Oct) - I would only be able to take 3 weeks straight in October 2010!

That is complete bullshit. It's all bullshit.

So now I have to take a 3-week leave of absence...3 weeks without pay! I can't do that!

People everywhere are mad as hell...there was no warning, people now have to purchase vacation time in 1-week intervals (ie you have to buy one or two weeks, no more no less and I can't even take part because suddenly I'm on contract).

So, really, my only option is to start looking for another job. I am not holding my breath that I will have one come October. After all, 10 people were laid off here last week. My mat leave person comes back in October...in this economy, will they justify having two duplicate positions? This office is also melding with another office in January...will there be three duplicate positions?

And if there is, will I want to stay? I like my role, but I don't like this company at all anymore, especially as it is becoming an American company with less and less power up here - the economy is also about 80% worse in the states, so how will that affect us? The dimwitted but kind CEO is going elsewhere and a new "asshole" boss is coming into effect come the fall. I don't even want to work for a big corporation and an engineering one at that! I should be doing something else, anything else.

So...I know now what I have to do. I guess I just need to work hard until October and start lookinG NOW in case something comes up.

But where to look? And what do I look for? What can I do NOW to ensure I have the advantage in this economy? I've got till October to make sure I have the best possible standpoint to get a great job that I love!!

So, please dear readers and followers, I do need some advice. SPILL IT!

This could be a great opportunity to take my experience and spread my wings, do something that really excites me. Not only that, but when this whole upheaval is in effect, I will be living rent-free with Mike's parents (while my Kiwi renters pay my mortgage. Did I mention I got an awesome Kiwi couple to lease my apartment for a year?). So, this (October/November) is the perfect time to be jobless and looking - that said, I do want to stay ahead of the game.

Gah! I thought I could just coast along in my job and everything would go smoothly with life...but it's always something, isn't it?

Think I might get very drunk tonight. Let the soul-searching begin!