Thursday, November 09, 2006

Oh, for crying out loud

To the guy in the apartment building beside mine. Yes, you who stands (and is still standing) on your balcony with your guitar all day long, every day and "plays" annoying, homemade shite while occasionaly busting out the harmonica. Yes, you who should be at work right now but you aren't because you think "music" is your job, you who would be shown on the bad audition tape of American Idol, you who makes a sack full of wailing cats sound like Pavarotti, you who thinks my neighbourhood wants to listen to your singing pile of shit,

FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT THE HELL UP OR I'M GONNA STICK THAT GUITAR UP YOUR ASS!

From,

Your neighbour who is giving you the finger

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the chick from China who sold me my Halloween costume,

It finally arrived today, a week after Halloween. It was nice of you to ship it off to me two weeks after you said you would. I would give you a bad rating on Ebay but I know you'll just do the same to me. So instead I am going to quitely rant about it on here and pray that someone accidently bombs your costume-manufacturing store.

From,

A woman with a plan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To myself,

Turn off your computer and get back to studying! And do the dishes while you're at it.

From,

Your own worst enemy

13 comments:

almost famous kiwi said...

Dear %$#&*!(@#

You, who thinks its ok to spend a whole summer inside, you who thinks that being social means waiting for people to come to your door, you who thinks that dating means lowering your IQ, you who thinks that it's ok to control other peoples lives...

I'll tell YOU where YOU can place the keys to YOUR apartment.

From your new worst nightmare

Anonymous said...

Annoying neighbors are absolutely AWFUL. You can go ahead and tell them what you think as long as you're willing to be closely watched and hated and probably have your car keyed (in LA, at least) and have whatever they're doing just become worse. Passing strangers who are annoying? No big deal to tell them what you think. Oh, but not neighbors. No way. Bummer.

Indiana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Indiana said...

Ok we all now want photos of said costume that has been the object of more than a littel angst.

M said...

Dear Self,

A bottle of vodka won't make your day feel better - but it sure helps.

love,
Me.

Wanderlusting said...

Dear M,

And if you don't have vodka, wine works best in a pinch. Or for any reason, really.

From,

Lusty

Lilac Stripe said...

I am going to join in:

To my neighbour who thinks it is fine to listen to a pirate radio station playing hardcore dance at any time of day or night, whilst randomly shouting along to the beat and banging your door...
it's not.

Wombat & Aspen said...

Dear Dog Owner

My garden is not a lavatory for your pooch.

Kindly remove Helmut's rancid coils as he deposits them.

Wombat

amanda jane said...

To the kind neighbour who called the police,

I am a feisty little thing, not EVERY argument that happens over here in SURREY requires some police assistance.... I would kill him before he even thought about killing me, he annoys me more... If there is any arguing going on at your house I will be on the phone IMMEDIATELY with the police because OBVIOUSLY you have an issue or two....
-The neighbour peeking out of the blinds to make sure you aren't watching her anymore!!

sipwine said...

OK, so I hate to be one of those "glass half full" people, but at least it's not a guy preaching about jesus all day and all night. Because here in Indiana, I know of someone who is going through that very situation...

Welcome to Hell... I mean Indiana.

somethinglikebradshaw said...

Dear Air Canada,

Did you know that people who live in northern BC actually like flying into their airport? We especially like getting their the day we're suppose to fly in.
Did you know we don't appreciate flying all the way up from Vancouver only to be turned around mid-air and taken back to Vancouver?
Did you know once Westjet comes into our airport, you'll have no business here?
Did you know...you're monopolizing assholes who turned around a flight and left 60 people stranded in Vancouver airport just because you don't give a crap?
Of course you do...you're Air Canada and I'll never fly with you again.

Karinaxoxo said...

hehe too funny!!!
I hate that about Ebay... buying stuff from some asian warehouse

amanda jane said...

OOoooohhh I have another and I'm so MAAADDD!!

To you the asshole who broke into my MOMMY van!!

I have 2 kids and work at Staples JUST to make a few extra dollars to take them on a nice vacation!! PLUS I HAVE A WEDDING TO PAY FOR... guess we will have to dip into THEIR savings to replace the window you so easily smashed!!!

YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING YOU SURREY CRACKHEAD!!!

Where were the COPS on that one??? Probably attending to a non important DOMESTIC dispute!!... or argueing.... GOD DAMNIT!!