*Why does drinking a giant can of Rockstar make me feel like a Rockstar. A Rockstar in the Keith Richards sense. As in "half-dead and hit on the head by a coconut"?
*Why does UPS deliver your packages during the day. When the fuckers know you'll be at work?
*It's lunchtime, so why am I not hungry?
*And why am I still here?
*Where did all the whales go?
*Why do I feel like I'm on drugs?
*Why do I spend money when I don't have any?
*When are they going to come out with a razor that has 6 blades?
*Why did Kate Hudson turn out to be an adulturous whore?
*Why do I get tired as soon as I realize its Friday?
*Why do I think that if I ever have children they will look something like this?:
*Why am I not famous yet?
*Why do jokes about shaving Jeff's/Jeff's mum's/Manny's/Manny's mum's chest make me giggle?
*Why would I rather sit at home, do nothing and not get paid, than to get paid to do the same thing here?
*Why is it so hard to get up in the morning?
*Didn't Kurt Russell die in Backdraft?
*Why do I feel, um, frisky, during random times of the day?
*What's that smell?
*What's a battle?
*What's a diorama?
*Why don't I care that my boredom is causing my blog to be filled with meaningless, mindless posts?
If anyone knows any answers to these questions, please do your civic duty to inform me.
22 comments:
That kid is hot. I have a question for you...why is it that I have had no desire/ability to partake in my 2 favorite activities this week (eating/sleeping)?
And why the hell did I start up with this blog thing...it's a bloody addiction.
Get vibrating panties...Jeff tells me that they are fantabulous.
For your first question is the answer to your second question.
And as for the panties, I've seen them. Ross likes to wear them on his head and dance around the apartment with Jeff's mum.
Ross had better keep his hands off of Jeff's mom. She's mine! Has been for years. Jeff knows that his mom and I have had a "thing" (also known as lezbo-lovin') going on for a long long time.
She's coming up this weekend actually...we're gonna getterdone the Grande Prairie way.
PS Jeffs mom took this picture of me. Usually though, she makes me take all of my clothes off.
Yeah, you better watch for Ross. He likes to lure women using razors and molasses.
It worked on me.
(Ross)
The razors didn't...hair was too thick.
Oh...burn. Hahahaha oh I'm sorry...but I have to laugh. Just a question...does anyone else find it really enjoyable to have someone brush your hair while you cry?
Ever since you talked about that on Ross and Jeff's blog, I've noticed that the hair brush in their bathroom is always on the counter.
And it's often wet.
(Ross)
Perhaps not wet from tears though.
Ugh...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Jeff likes drooling as well though...cause that time I drooled on his shirt on the seabus, he was pretty happy with me. So it could be drool.
I dunno...Ross was in the bathroom with another person the other day.
I heard from Jeff that sometimes when Ross is getting ready to go out with you, he is crying in the shower singing "Unfaithful" by Rhianna. Apparently the thought of Jeff's heartbroken face causes extreme guilt. Poor Jeff.
I don't wanna do this anymore...I don't wanna be the reason why... everytime I walk out the door, I see him die a little more inside...
New question:
Why do I feel sick?
(Ross)
Coz it's almost our seven-month anniversary?
(Ross)
Oh shit....eight-month, EIGHT-MONTH!!!
Sigh.
8 months. It's almost our 8-month anniversary. And feeling sicker by the minute.
Oooh, that was a close.
If only I didn't take the time to use italics, you would have looked quite the fool.
(Ross)
I shall call myself an idiot for you and not wanting to appear overly cryptic, i booked the whales.
(Ross)
It's an appearance I'm getting used to.
First you're shaving Manny's Mum's chest, next you're luring Jeff's Mum with sugar and vibrating panties, then you are upping people's antes and uncles and now you are doing what to the whales?
(Ross)
Manny - I didn't touch your mum; at least not until you say something about mine.
Jeff - Your dad touched me and I got your mum to comb my hair as I sang and cried in the shower for an hour, but I still couldn't scrub the dirty out.
Janellerific - Glover is the golden God of the small screen.
Wanderlusting - I'll do whatever you want to watch me do with the whales.
Ross, you have been cursed due to your repulsive love for Danny Glover. Danny Glover makes me so angry...
You know what else makes me angry? My addiction to this blogspace thing. I left work to "go get a sandwich" aka "check up on the comments." Sad and pathetic.
Oh...congratulations on your 8 month. Try not to get Ross pregnant. Jeff wants him to have his baby first.
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