Wednesday, September 23, 2009

White with envy

Exploring the historic town of La Conner in Washington state, complete with an amazing antique store stocked with vintage Life magazines.

My white-after-Labour-Day outfit:
Cardigan: Forever 21
Tank + earrings: ASOS
Necklace: Gorjana
Skirt: Anthropologie
Sandals: Gojane
Bag: Mango MNG

It's been over 2 weeks now without a drop to drink - makes me sound like an alcoholic, but I must admit it's something my body needed. My plan is to go 5 weeks, or until Canadian Thanksgiving (road trip to Oregon - can't pass up cheap 7/11 booze!). I miss having my 1-3 daily glasses of wine though - what I don't miss is getting embarassingly drunk on the weekends and having to write off every Sunday due to hangover. But even the abscence of daily wine is getting easier - it's really just a habit to have a stressful drive home and have a glass of wine to reward myself. Now I find other ways to deal with stress. Like sleep.

About that: ever since I quit drinking I have been feeling tired and depressed. I don't know if it's at all connected to not drinking but either way, I'm not exactly feeling great these days. All I want to do is cry or sleep. I'm tired, lazy, unmotivated and not a happy camper (thyroid and iron levels are fine, btw). Finally taking St. John's Wort, a million supplements daily (CoQ10, MSM, Omega 3s, Vitamin D, B vitamins, Greens plus, Potassium and Iodine) and awaiting my shipment of Kava to arrive. Not sure when I will snap out of this funk but I'm hoping it will be soon. At least I am making the right steps in that direction.

I've also quit using Facebook - for an indisclosed amount of time. This is Day Two haha and it's actually pretty hard. I feel very disconnected with the world but Facebook has not been helping me lately. For one, I'm trying to stop procrastinating (it's pretty much ruining my life) and Facebook is the world's greatest procrastination tool and also, I've got a severe, sad case of the green-eyed monster where everyone else's lives are looking a million times better than mine. People's parents are buying them condos and new cars and what not, some people don't work but just lie around all day doing whatever they please. Or they work at jobs that they actually LIKE and have money to just spend however they please, or their parents buy them everything and they get a free ride through life, etc.

Jealously is a terrible thing and it sucks that Facebook is such a destructive conduit when it comes to showing off. Anyway, in my fragile mental state, I can't really take feeling like such a loser everytime I log in, so...I'm logging out.

Of course I will be back on again - but in the meantime I need to avoid seeing the things that make me tick and feel sorry for myself. Changes have to happen in my life first before I feel secure again.

Reading people's blogs doesn't always help either, but at least most people I don't actually KNOW know...but I DO have a financial question for YOU PEOPLE out there...

I'm trying to pay down my credit cards, pay back my father AND save for my New Zealand trip at the same time, so my shopping has suffered considerably as a result. I see so many bloggers with really expensive shoes and bags and I have to do you afford such stuff?

This isn't a rude question but I would actually like to apply such tactics (if any) to, how do you afford your pricey purchases? Do you put in on your credit card and hope to pay it back over time? Or do you see what you want, save up for it and hope you'll still find it?

This question is for anyone really and the amount doesn't really matter, so as long as it's something you consider a "BIG" purchase.


Unlikely Oilfield Wife said...

Just found your blog, I love it!

I desperately want to rid myself of Face Book as well. Or at least delete the people who bring stress.

I have no idea how so many people afford such luxury items. I suspect it's credit cards, which is really a shame and a big reason why the US is in the financial situation it's in. Living above your means is so last century, frugal is the new black!

Kendra said...

I always wonder the same thing!

For me personally, I make a good salary for someone my age, and my boyfriend and I own a house instead of renting, and own 2 cars, but with my student loans and such, I can't justify spending money on designer goods.

I prefer to buy generic shoes and purses that are in the same style as the designer items I covet. I also utilize eBay when there is a really specific item I want. I have bought many authentic coach bags that way. I also go to a really good outlet mall 3-4 times a year to pick up some higher quality clothing at affordable prices.

I am not sure if any of this info helps, but I wanted to say that I feel your pain. I try not to look at the blogs that feature really high end designer duds. I am very glad I don't have a credit card at all, just a debit, so I can't charge stuff when the envy gets the best of me.

janettaylor said...

U are so beautiful!


Marietta said...

I wonder the same thing as well!So I'll tune in to look at the answers!
I can't say much cause I'm trying to finish my studies, I don't work and what I get is from my "pocket money" I don't feel like asking for more than that.
But when I do make my own money I'd better save to buy something expensive rather than put it on the credit card.This way, it gives you time to consider if you really want to spend that much money on sth, and if you still want it then take it.
I want to be rich one day, if not me then my man and he can spoil me :P

Nina said...

I feel the same thing about Facebook!!! I haven't been really active there but sometimes just browsing through the updates makes me depressed, like my life is going nowhere and the people I know are already married and having babies. Thank goodness I'm not the only one!

Anonymous said...

I agree that Facebook is used by a lot of people to "brag."

The thing is: don't feel inferior because someone's PARENTS bought them a condo or a car.

That is nothing to be proud of! Saving up and buying your own place and your own car now that is something to be proud of.

But having your parents buy them for you? Ha. That is nothing to be proud of and in your case, envious of! Think about it and start looking to the positive.

Couture Carrie said...

Gorgeous photos and outfit, darling!


P.S. I have expensive taste too ~ I just wait til things go to 70% off at or buy them at theOutnet or the Barneys Warehouse Sale. Occasionally I will save up for something but I NEVER put anything on credit cards - I gave those up a few years ago.

Len said...

Funny, I'm trying to do the same thing (cutting back on my internet consumption)... it's pretty hard :(

To answer your question:

- I buy a lot of stuff second hand on Ebay... actually, most of the stuff I own I bought off Ebay lol

- I never, ever, pay with money that I don't have

- I save money and reserve a certain amount for big purchases (there will always be an interesting and expensive thing to buy... so if the one I want is gone by the time I have the money, I'm pretty sure there'll be something else I fall in love with... this doesn't apply to things I TOTALLY fall in love with, though. lol)

- If I know I can't afford anything, I try not to get tempted (i.e. not walking by my favourite stores and trying to avoid ebay)

- If I really want something, I'll cut down on everything else (going out, expensive food, traveling, etc) and buy it, but again, I never put anything on credit cards (I also try to pay as often as possible with cash and not with cards... because it makes you realize how much you spend!). This is helpful because I know that as a consequence, I'll only buy things that are REALLY worth it (for me).
For example, I just bought myself a motorcycle that cost twice my monthly salary. I had planned to buy it later this year, but I totally fell in love with a motorcycle and it was a great deal, so I bought it, knowing that it means I'll have to cut down on everything for at least two months... but every time I'm sad about that, I think about the motorcycle that stands in front of my door... and I know it's totally worth it.

Sarrah said...

Good question, my take?
When it comes to a lot of fashion bloggers we don't see the whole picture. A pair of $900 Ann D shoes? If you're lucky, you are like Jane Aldridge and your father and mother buy you everything you wish for.

Or maybe they have a rich boyfriend or husband who buys them stuff. There are lots of sugar daddy's out there.

Or maybe they live with their parents, have no bills to pay and max out their credit cards.

Ever notice that a lot of bloggers don't seem to have a day job? I do, especially since most are 16 years old. Or in college still.

Makes you really wonder how they afford somethings and I don't think "saving" is an option.

Kristin said...

1. You look gorg in white! 2. I'm a bargain hunter. The big ticket purchases have drastically reduced since I had the dude! And I went on a pretty strict shopping hiatus a couple years ago to pay off my CC debt. Totally worth it!

Georgia said...

On the bright side, you look really fresh and happy here, the white is so lovely on you!
It would be mine

GourMama said...

Love your pictures!

I most of the time buy second hand, either craigslist or Ebay. I choose pretty much popular brands, so when I have no use for them anymore I can resell and apply it towards something else I want. Also, our cars are paid for, so we save money there. And no, they are not nice, but they work.

I love to spend extra on designer jeans, but shop at Forever 21 for tops and dresses.

Hope this helps someone:)

Wanderlusting said...

Thanks everyone for your suggestions thus far!

I too own my own apartment - and I don't even pay the mortgage, someone else does (I rent it out). I also own my own car.

I thought I made a good salary for someone my age - I'm in the next tax bracket - but I'm still really struggling. A lot of it has to do with credit card abuse in the past and trying to make up for it.

I guess I'm mad at myself, but also at the unjustness of the world that some people just coast through by depending on others. It bugs me and it really shouldn't (Anon you make a very good point!).

And Kristin, I'm glad to see your shopping hiatus is working! I am trying that as well, though I slipped up because I needed new pants (I have like 3 pairs of pants lol). But I'm still trying. It's just really hard at the moment when half of my paycheck goes to the CCs :S

Kayla said...

Hey chicka! (This is Kayla, and I made another new blog cause I'm stupid, so hopefully you'll continue to follow that one, I promise I won't change again!)

I agree with everything you're saying. I'm really glad for you on the whole drinking thing! That's something that isn't always easy to give up. Both my parents are drinkers, and it seems like all of my friends are too. Good luck with it and keep it up.

If only I had motivation to quit using Facebook. Thing is I don't really have a reason to. I like using it, and I don't feel that I get stressed out by it. I have gone over a week without it though (but that's because I wasn't around a computer or a phone).

Even though I am nowhere near your age, I am still kind of in the same boat as you. I don't have credit cards to pay off (yet) but I am trying to save up for when I start making my own makeup to sell around my city, and I am trying to save up for when I go to school in January. I still have to pay for my cell phone and car insurance and gas. The two things I have to really cut down on the most though are FOOD and CLOTHES (my two favorite things! ahhh!).

It's really not easy for me either to cut down on clothes spending, because I DO work at a clothing store. It helps because of such great discount but I really need to learn to spend less because it's seriously killing me!

The whole food thing I gotta work on. I'm such a fast food eater (the healthy places though, like Subway and Opa Souvlaki).

That's my input and how I do things! I'd like to see where this all takes you!


Kass said...

You make looking good look easy, even tho I know it's not lol. Damn you!

The only thing I really like about Facebook are the status updates, which is why I've moved mine to Twitter - because that's pretty much all Twitter is! There's no wasting time with quizzes or farm town (satan). So why don't you join up already? You could like do a daily tweet about your outfit and I'm sure a lot of your blog fans would follow you on it :)

Do it already woman!

Also, when are you in CHCH? Is Mike going to be with you then? Or will it just be you all on your lonesome? Are you going to stay with us, or are you going to shell out and stay some where else - you can totally stay with us btw, I kind of assumed you were going to, but I'm just checking lol. Email meeee!

Fashion Cappuccino said...

I pay for everything myself and I don't own an apartment or a car yet because I'm to busy saving up all my money! I save one paycheck and spend things on my next paycheck. I don't own a lot of shoes or a lot of handbags and I spend only on things I really want and will work with what I have in my closet.

Glitter Scrubs said...

Hey I always wondered the same thing about people I see on facebook buying new stuff all the time. Brag now pay later? A ton of my friends have got themselves into huge trouble living that lifestyle, so I try to learn that lesson from them.

However, as a girl who's had a student loan a time or too, I've bought a few 'luxury' items for myself. Well not too expensive maybe a couple hundred bucks, but me and my Scottish roots are way too cheap lol, so it's alot for me!

Otherwise, you may have heard of this, but I have my work take off $50 bucks a paycheque automatically and put it in some sort of Canada's Savings Bond. I hardly ever notice and I've been doing it for quite awhile now so I have over 1500 that I totally keep forgetting about! I can take it out whenever and I'm using this 'extra' money to pay for a trip overseas next spring :)

PS: nice work on the alcohol abstinence! I could've used that willpower this past weekend :S

Wanderlusting said...

Glitter - yes, we had that option at work and I should have done it but I'm already having $50 taken off for parking AND even more taken for my RRSPs, so I can't really afford it. well, I guess I can but too late now! Maybe again this year...

Speaking of RRSPs, I do have a large chunk of change in there now. My boss advised me to stop contributing to RRSPs at this age as it is better to use that money to pay off your unsecured debt but we'll see...

Jules said...

Oh god, I hear you on Facebook. It is one of the biggest timewasters for me. Although I lvoe that I have reconnected with some great people on it, but then I also have to put up with dicks.

You look gorgeous in your white, I love the skirt to bits, and I think you pull off any look that you put your mind too.

As for financial advice? I have spent the last ten years buying big items on credit. And then paying them back at exorbidant interest rates and getting further and further into debt. This year we decided enough was enough and we are paying off debt, not accumulating any more and the latest big ticket item I wanted was a lounge suite. We saved. Instead of buying it in the shop for $2,500 I looked on Trademe, (NZ equivalent of Ebay) and found the exact same one, 2 years old and had been in storage for 8 months of that. In pristine condition, and we paid cash of $900 for it. It was the best feeling I have ever had, buying something and knowing it was mine, noone was owed anything on it.

As for clothes and shoes etc. I know they are important to you, but at the end of the day they are material items and I think you have much more value in the things you make and adjust and which look fantastic because of your input than some expensive item that costs you two weeks wages. Just my input.

Jules said...

Oh, and when and where are you coming to in NZ???

kimberlie said...

i am actaully trying to get my spending under control. I can justify nearly any puchase, and because i am so good at that, i end up dipping into my savings to do buy the items ( lately it has been skin care and makeup)

It's a terrible cycle- good luck to you!

pretty*pink*rat said...

1) love love love your outfit. You look gorgeous!

2) I find the less often I go on facebook, the less I "need to". I now only go on when I get an email update about a message or something. It is very liberating to not be addicted to it, good luck! It will get easier!

3) Financially, I guess I don't really buy big things. One thing I suggest though, is rearrange your home every so often. Not clean, but move items to new rooms, etc. Seeing everything you have (especially with clothes and such) helps you not want to buy more. We did this as kids in my parents house and I still find moving as "wardrobe inspiration". "Oh, I still have this skirt? Its so in style now!" etc.

When I look at the pricey blogs I see the general style and keep an eye out at *gasp* TJ Maxx and *double gasp* thrift stores. I get the same style, but without selling my first born.

4) Hope you get out of your funk soon! I like to listen to music with the word "sun" in it when I'm feeling blue, like The Beatles' "Good Day Sunshine" :) I have a whole playlist of these songs on my computer.

julaberry said...

Wow.. and here I was being jealous of you as you seem like you have it all together and look gorgeous and write well. And somewhere out there someone is possibly being jealous of what I “seem” to have (though I am dubious)

I don’t have much designer stuff but I shop a lot on sale racks and at op shops. I also buy classic stuff at the end of the season and save it for the next year. Anything that is very fashionable that I think will date very quickly I will buy a cheap knock off version.

I think having your own style (which you obviously do) will help you save money as it's about how you wear things, not what you are wearing..

Eyeliah said...

good for you! you are (were) on facebook the most out of everyone I know so I know it will be hard. Call me anytime if you wanna chit chat instead. :-) I've ben wearing white too, lol screw that rule!

Bella said...

I think it depends... sometimes, I find something that I'm certain I can't live without and try to save while hoping it's still available by the time I can actually afford it. And I admit, there are other moments, terrible moments, when I just cave and pass over the credit card like it's some plastic (magic) toy.

And sweetie, the white dress is stunning on you! Amazing pictures.

( . )( . ) said...

Nawww I hope your depression passes soon. I can say though I also found when I went on a 6 week alcohol ban at the beginning of the year I felt the same, lazy unmotivated, socially seggregated and a bit like what is the point. THat didnt pass until I started drinking again. Weird huh. I hardly drink now, but I think it was prohibition, I needed to know I could have it, and then make the choice not to drink it. I had felt like I was missing out.

As for big purchases? I either blow all my rent money, or credit card. But I am not the type that buys gucci all day long, so I dont know how they do it!

almost famous kiwi said...

Hun, read my facebook page. It's always about boring school work, having to go to work and all round poverty haha. This Monday I thought it was payday and then realised it was actually the next day but i spent all my money so had to go through a full day of school followed by work without hardly eating...and i don't appear to have lost weight. How cruel is that!

I have an answer to your financial situation. I got myself in credit card debt on two credit cards and it just got too much, plus I owed my dad thousands. So I went to the bank and got a debt consolidation loan. I now have no credit cards, no debt to dad, just one loan that I pay off fortnightly at $114. I learnt the hard way that credit cards are bad. If you don't have the cash, you can't buy the product. You should start a system where you put money into savings and at the end of every month buy some things for yourself. You might have to cut back on some spending and buy more generic items but you can still have a great time on a budget and it's worth it if you can save money for things like a house.

You know me well hun, I don't get hand outs at all. I have had to work hard for everything. i had to pay for every trip I took, all my schooling, rent, life, you name it. But I'm a strong independent woman and I feel sorry for those out there dependent on others. Life taught me a harsh lesson when I was young: If you can't stand on your own two feet you can't make it in this world.

So be proud that you're standing on your own two feet, keep working hard, save instead of spend and you can get everything you want.

P.S I can't wait till you get here!!!

Lily G. said...

beautiful in white!

Underfunded Heiress said...

Very cool photos of you in the mirror in the antique store.

Underfunded Heiress said...

Totally understand where you are coming from. Champagne taste on a beer budget, hence my blog name ;)Doesn't everyone look like they live the fabulous life? I often wonder that as well, especially living in Orange County CA where everyone seems to have endless cash funds. Just try to focus on the things that you do have and I'm sure your spirits will pick up. One thing I've learned is a lot of people try to cover up their unhappiness with trying to buy it. I think a lot of ppl are in debt and just refuse to acknowledge it. Good luck to you and stay positive!

Intrinsically Florrie said...

Those are all gorgeous photos! Some of them are reall stunningly beautiful.

Florrie x

Anika said...

Love your white after Labour day outfit, and the gorgeous snaps of the lovely La Conner. So gorgeous, its perfect.

And my most expensive purchases were made at this FANTASTIC consignment store we have in Perth so I actually got the stuff for a crao load cheaper than it's really worth....say more than 85% off.

Hope you go well with the booze-free diet....power to you to have the power to do it!


Rebecca, The Clothes Horse said...

I love your white dress and I want to visit that antique shop now!
As for me, I don't actually own a lot of expensive clothes, I've only bought 2 clothing items in my life that cost $100. I have been given a couple of nice things I normally can't afford by various people/stores.
I afford the clothes I do have by budgeting extremely. I never eat out, I don't do events with friends that cost money, etc. Basic needs and clothes are my only costs.
I'm lucky that I don't have an credit card debt or loans to pay back yet; I got scholarships to college and worked part-time to afford books, clothes, and such. So, I'm basically really tight with money and buy a lot of things on sale...and my wardrobe isn't as big as people seem to think it is...

joyful said...

I tend to splurge on jeans (I have really long legs and it's impossible to find ones that are long enough and look good), coats, and bags...but for those two things I'll usually buy one expensive coat/bag every couple years and then have a few cheaper ones that I mix in when I get bored. I only have one main leather carryall and two clutches for going out, all were around $200-300 but I still love them two years later. I don't understand people who have a closet full of expensive boots and heels - I always have one or two pairs and that's pretty much it. I'd love to have more but it's just not really necessary. I used to buy really trendy pieces but I did a total wardrobe overhaul last year and now I love everything in my closet for so much longer.

I get envious too of people who have everything handed to them - side note, I notice none of those types have weighed in on this topic to admit that mommy and daddy buy all their designer clothes :P I'm still in school and when I'm done I'll have paid for 8 years (I'm in a professional program now)of tuition, rent, etc. by myself. I'm proud of that, but I'll also be paying off student loans til I'm 50...

At any rate, don't let it bother can buy many things, but happiness and good taste are not among them! I think you look amazing and are great at mixing bargain pieces with higher-end finds, you always look unique and beautiful and what else is fashion really about? Also, good for you for starting to pay down your credit cards. It's on my to-do list! ;)