It ain't easy been green (or me)

To celebrate St. Patrick's Day and take advantage of my day off, I decided to put on everything in my closet that was green (olive, lime, forest, kelly, you name it). Turns out, I actually don't have a lot of green stuff, which is surprising because I think the colour actually suits me. Hmmm, maybe that's something I can start branching out more with? Either way, it was nice to wear some peices that haven't come out to play in a while, most notably the Bebe sequin bird top that I scored at Desert Hills Outlet Mall outside Palm Springs - love that top!













I even tried to do a green 'smokey' eye, though you can't really tell (above) - Boots: ASOS; Skirt: Reitmans; Top: Bebe; Cardigan: ASOS; Leather jacket: ASOS; Necklace: Front & Main; Leather bag: Adrienne Vittadini
I took the day off though not to celebrate St. Patty (though the best St. Patty's day I ever had was when my bestie Kelly and I - when we lived in Auckland, NZ - spent the day blowing off class and getting drunk. On the docks at the waterfront. Like the Irish do!) but to get a whole bunch of crap done....I went to the doctor, finally, who was no help whatsoever because she was a clinic doctor and advised I see my family doctor. But my family doctor sucks balls! Then I went for a run around Lost Lagoon, taking advantage of a break in the rain and the less-crowded time of day. Afterwards I booked it for my appointment with my mortgage broker who assesed how much we qualify for (yay!) for our new apartment. After that I then went to my parent's house for lunch and quality time before heading off to see a Physiotherapist.

Ah yes. The physio. It's amazing I haven't seen one before - there are SO many things wrong with me!

For starters, I am not meant to be a runner. I am simply not built for it - not everyone is, but me even more so because of my disability.

I finally found out so many answers to so many questions..such as, why is running so hard on me? Why does running for 45 minutes feel like torture? Why do my thighs burn? How come when I do a Standing Quadriceps Stretch, I never feel anything in my legs? Why do I walk funny? Why do I run funny? How come I can't stand on my toes?

To put it simply, I am a horrible mess of nature - sad but true. As enlightening as it was to learn the answers, it also kind of hit me how different I truly am than the average person and how, no matter what, somethings about my body can never be fixed.

For example, my foot has a limited range of motion. I can barely flex it up and I can't point it down. At all. And I can't stand on my toes. Because of this, when I run (or walk), I can't push off from my toes (I thought I was but I guess not). Because I can't push off from my toes, my calves don't get worked at all (it's all connected). This is why I have relatively small calves with zero muscle - very underdeveloped.

Because my calves don't work, my thighs go into overdrive to compensate. This is why I have always had very large thighs compared to my body - even as a child. Because my thighs work overtime, they also burn more (hence the burning while running and the feeling like my legs are too heavy to lift - because the SPRING from the steps that should propel me forward, aren't there). Because my thighs do all the work, they throw my hips out of whack, as well as my hamstrings. My hamstrings are the tighest she has seen in a long time. No wonder I can't touch my toes. Anyway, they are tight because my thighs blah blah blah.

And the hips, of course. They are weak. And my butt (specifically, the sides of my butt) are also too weak (but my Glutius Maximus is very strong, HENCE WHY MY ASS IS SO LARGE lol). Hence why my hips swing when I walk, because the muscles on the side are too loose to keep them in check. And my hip flexors don't work at all - when I do the standing quad stretch, the reason I don't feel the stretch is because my hips come forward. I just can't help it. I only felt the stretch when doing it with my hips against the table because the table prevents the hips from swinging forward. But I can't do that alone, I don't have the control.

So now I have a few exercises to do everyday. I am not to stop running but I must realize that it will never become easy for me like it does everyone else. And I might not even be able to do the 10KM Sun Run - it might be too hard on my overtaxed lower body. But that aside, she said that if I keep doing the stretching exercises she prescribed, with time running and walk will become easier and more normal. Poor me though, honestly all i want is to just be normal :(

I have another session on the weekend where we will work on my abs (my lower back is weak thanks to - you guessed it - my thighs, hips, butt problem) and also my ankles.

It's hard though, to hear the limitations - i always knew I had them but it's hard to hear it nonetheless. My feet can not improve - I will always have problems with them and because of that, I will never have nice shapely, strong calves. They are merely there for show. Stupid calves!

Sigh.

On the plus side, my parents (mainly mom) felt super sorry for me after all this so they bought me some nice stuff - and stuff that will help too! I got new Nike zooom running shoes which are so light and have that ipod chip in them to track your kms, calories, pace etc (apparently I have been running in "Walking" shoes, yikes!), Nike capri pants and an aqua Adidas top/sports bra. I'll try and get a pic of me in them tonight, if anything having this lighter gear will help with my evening run!


My dear mama and I

That's all for now. Hope your St. Patricks day was better than mine was :)(though new workout clothes, plus free lunch and a glass of wine or two (shhhh) made all the disheartening a lot more bearable.)