Monday, February 26, 2007

Where am I? What's going on?

An hour or so ago, I was wandering around downtown Vancouver in a daze. I slowly schleped down West Georgia street, not knowing really where I was or what I was doing. I ended up at a Starbucks and proceeded to have great difficulty ordering an iced coffee...words were coming out of my mouth but they weren't making much sense. The Barista noticed my camo ballcap with the words Cardio Core Bootcamp on it and forgave me for being a fuckwit.

This is what I will have to look forward to for the next month. This is me after Bootcamp.

At any rate, I did survive it, which is a lot more than I had hoped for.

The "camp" was held indoors at Fitness World (in summer, it's held in Stanley Park), in one of the aerobics rooms. There was about 30 or so people there, mainly female with a few men scattered about.

I was relieved to see most of the women were slightly overweight just like me, so I didn't feel too self-conscious.

*start rant* That was until I noticed a few thin women...one, especially, was perky, fit, tanned and blonde.

"What the hell are you doing here you skinny Lululemon beyatch?!" I yelled at her. "Trying to upstage us all, or what?"

OK, so I yelled it at her in my head, but the point is: if you are already fit and toned, why are you here? Just go to the gym like everyone else does, don't join a bootcamp for fatties and then proceed to rock the push-up test harder than everyone else...and longer than the instructor did it for. In fact, it prompted our instructor to make a remark about the program not being a competition.

I can tell Miss Fit is going to be on my nerves for the next few weeks.

*end rant*

That was just one rant and I have many more so I think I'll just call the whole rest of this post one long rant. Keep in mind my writing skills at this moment are quite nonexistant, I think I recieved a lobotomy while I was there.

Anyhoo, the hour consisted of non-stop excercise led by our leader. She wasn't the one to yell in your face, instead she was full of boundless optimism and energy...which somehow made me prefer the "spit in face" method. At any rate, she kept us going. And going. And going. Non-stop. For one full, nauseous hour.

After the ten minute "warm-up," which consisted of 30 people running with their knees high in a circle, I was ready to throw in the towel. At least, I would have if the program was up to me. But it wasn't and we were pushed to go on and on. This was not even our cardio day so it was all about the weight training. I used to like weight training. I always thought it was the "easy" part.

Nuh-uh.

The weight training was more like circuit training, with different groups of us rotating between the ball, the steps and the bands, working on our muscle groups with cardio in between. This ensured we wouldn't get bored.

I was too busy dying to care if I was bored or not.

Literally, I felt like I was going to puke during my push-up test.

Also felt like puking when I started using the stretchy bands to work my arms and the band slipped off my foot.

Hit me right in the face.

Ever had someone snap an elastic band on your arm? Well, enlarge that band by 100 and apply it to your face.

And then I really felt like puking when they took me aside for measurements.

Oh dear.

My weight is one thing, but the width of my thigh? The horror. I'm even wearing the wrong bra size - I'm MUCH larger than I thought...which reminds me, a sports bra would probably be in good order too. I don't want to have to worry about elastic bands AND boobs snapping in my face.

A good note though, was that they didn't weigh us. It's obviously more about losing inches than pounds, which is great because that's what really counts. And speaking of my weight and inches: if it's a notable difference (and I don't know how it won't be if I'm going to be burning my lungs and buns off 3 times a week) I'll be sure to let you know at the end. Finger's crossed!

So, to sum up my first day at Bootcamp: I survived. It was tough. It was scary (especially when you have to run around with all these mirrors around you). It was challenging (tripped over my own feet while trying to keep up with a certain excercise...it's times like this that being naturally clumsy is NOT endearing). It was...not fun. But I don't regret starting it and I'm excited to see how far I will come. After all, the first class is down. It can only get easier from here on in.

Though ask me how I am doing tomorrow and it might be a different story - one filled with many explicit words.

***
In other news, I am going to the Police in May. Woot! And I have an extra, single ticket if anyone should be so interested to be doing a doo doo doo and a da da da.

8 comments:

M said...

okay you are sooooooooooooo not even slightly overweight however I totally admire you for going through the hell that bootcamp sounds like! omg you are going to be a MACHINE by the end of this baby! yeah.

wallycrawler said...

Your so funny !
It's good that your try'n to better yourself . I gained a few this winter too . I'll lose it fast and be back to my hawt self soon .

Get rid of the word verification it's bothersome .

Wanderlusting said...

M - I feel overweight though...and I truly am by about 8 pounds. Not a huge amount but enough to do damage. But yes, I want to be a machine! RAAAAR!

Wallycrawler - I agree that word verfication can be a pain but it's small price to pay for having no spam. Viagra ads are what are bothersome.

Karinaxoxo said...

You will be sooo sooo soo sore in the morning - but remember it'll all be worth it.

almost famous kiwi said...

some say I have an obsession with sugar, is that really bad? My question is if I keep going to the gym yet I still eat the large wonderful amounts of sugar that keep me happy will my heart one day decide to stop beating? You see I want to have my cake and eat it to!
Did you get my drunken Oscar Message? Call me! There's so much to say especially about my poor sad dad. Love you miss you!

Kass said...

You are a very brave girl lol. I'm sure you'll notice a difference in no time, by the sounds of things :)

Almost makes me want to sign up..

ALMOST lol.

Wanderlusting said...

Karina - Not so much the next morning, but 24 hours later. YES! OW!

Kiwi - You were drunk? The Oscars aren't the same since we don't have your dad's pool to jump into, fully-clothed.

Kass - Brave? Or stupid? As long as I don't pork out in the meantime, then a difference I shall hope to see. Do come join me. We can give fit and toned girl evil eyes.

Markbnj said...

Dear Lusty:
been reading, sorry not commenting recently.

You are NOT overweight at 8 lbs too much.
Overweight is 30-200 lbs over what you want.

I am laughing so hard at your rant:
...here...
"*start rant* That was until I noticed a few thin women...one, especially, was perky, fit, tanned and blonde.

"What the hell are you doing here you skinny Lululemon beyatch?!" I yelled at her. "Trying to upstage us all, or what?"

That was hilarious.
Especially since you're talking about yourself here.

Blonde, NOT overweight, and very very hot...

signed.
REALLY overweight (30 lbs) in NJ
]
Markbnj