Wednesday, January 28, 2009

People who annoy me to no end

Numero Uno: Katy Perry. Nothing rubs me the wrong way more than this chick. Maybe it's because she can't sing. Maybe it's because people say she looks like Zooey Deschanel, when really Zooey was around first and if anything Katy looks like a less talented version of her. Maybe it's because she tries WAY too hard to be this retro sexpot....actually, just tries WAY too hard in general. Maybe cuz she reminds me of a girl that I really don't like. Either way, as my friend said last week when she was in town, she really needs to be thrown in a dumpster.

I hate John Mayer to no end. His songs are all sweet and happy but from listening to him in countless interviews and watching him plow through countless girls, this guy is just a big, fat-headed pig. And really, he has a FAT head. Look at that thing!

I met Kirsten Dunst (so did everyone in Tsawwassen actually when Jumanji was filmed there) and at the time she was a cute, shy 12-year old with a snaggle-tooth grin and delicate features. Now she just looks like a bum. Like a real homeless crack addict, all transluscent skin and bones, a cigarette hanging from her lips, a hunchback and attire that makes Mary-Kate Olsen look like Jackie-O.

Chipmunk-faced, talentless slut. Complained about getting a porsche on her 16th bday because it was "used." Bite me, Miley.

I don't even know who this grumpy guss Kristen Stewart is. All I know is that she was in those trendy Twilight books and its equally suck-ass movie. Now I see her all over the red carpet and I just want to ask her, how life could be so bad? Is posing on the red carpet tough? Chin up, sweetie.

Yeah OK maybe I am jealous of Alba's hot body...even more so now that she can just bounce back from pregnancy while here it's taking me forever to lose a few a pounds. Then it was brought up that Alba sucks at everything in life and her only thing is her hot body. Therefore is she doesn't have the body, she doesn't have anything. I also hate her because she can't act worth shit, keeps getting cast (even though no one even shows up to the film anyway) and she's a total bitch. The gossip is true. She is a twat. She filmed Dark Angel here for years and everyone I know that knew her said she was a cunt back then...can only imagine how bad she is now.

Ugh. Cameron. First of all, I don't think you are very nice. I heard that you are the voted the worst celebrity to give autographs. I also remember that you like to yell at fans and punch the papparazzi. You also try to act like you aren't 35 (new years resolution is to wear a bra), you aren't aging well and your movies suck. Bring back that girl from The Mask...she was hot AND funny. Oh wait, that was you.

She is the new face of "LA" according to the LA tourist board or something. Nothing could be more fitting. Here is someone who got famous for no reason other than being rich and hot and now has her own over-priced and BORING clothing line, which would have never happened had she not been rich, famous and hot. At least Paris Hilton was born into a semi-famous family. Conrad was just lucky.

I read Perez, yes. I also HATE Perez. The minute he got famous, he stopped writing objectively about celebs and started favouring the ones he is paid to favour. He also started writing about himself - I don't freaking care about who you met on the weekend, that's not why we read your blog. Plus I know you're gay and all you want rights and shit, but give it a rest. The world does not revolve around what YOU believe in.

Fight the fight but don't be a hypocrite and hate on those who don't agree with you. Boycotting Sundance because Mormons live in Utah and Mormons voted against Prop 8? Writing a letter to Obama (whom you kissed ass all summer long) because he needs to "smarten up" and make gay marriage legal? Then slamming Obama because the gay bishop's speech was cut on HBO? Can't you be happy with anything? Oh wait, you think because you're some fat blogger you can change the world to suit YOU. Most of us are just waiting till your 15 minutes are up.

Audrina only became the new "it girl" and "hot bod" when she got ridiculous breast implants last year. Nuff said.

I know that saying I don't like Angelina Jolie is like saying I want to kill puppies, but she annoys the crap out of me. Is she gorgeous? Hell yah. Can she act? Sometimes. But this "holier than thou" shit and "I'm gonna save the world by adopting every kid I see" isn't fooling me. First of all, how many kids do you need? Poor Maddox has to deal with a new brother and/or sister every year until who knows how long. Maybe enjoy and cherish each kid for awhile before you go and adopt the "newest darling," I mean I give more love to my handbags before I go out and buy another. And for goodness sake, make up with your father...I've met Jon Voight and he is a nice, nice man!

I miss the old Angelina, the one who would cut herself, do heroin, wear blood around her neck, make out with girls and was a general badass. You can't go from that to "Saint Angelina" in a blink of the eye. You know that one day she's gonna snap and I can't wait to see it.

Douche. And I hate your show just because of YOU. Ari Gold is the most vile character on TV and I would maybe give props to your acting talent because of it but I have a feeling that you aren't acting. You ARE Ari Gold and therefore the biggest douche around.

Honorable mentions: Andy Dick, Rosie O'Donnell, Spencer Pratt and Heidi, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Kayne West, Madonna, Avril Lavigne, Ellen Page, Megan Fox, Katherine Heigel, Evan Rachel Wood, Celine Dion, anyone too political, Ashley Tisdale, Paula Abdul, Matthew McConaughey, Teri Hatcher, all the Scientologists and Michael Cera (quit being a diva and just DO the Arrested Development movie already and I'll take you off this list).

So....who annoys you lately?


healthy ashley said...

This is the best post. Funny enough, I agree! My favorite part is the names you gave to all the photos! Haha

Kass said...

You and I are so on the same hater page lol.

I freakin' HATE Katy Perry, she is so so over rated and retarded "look at me, pouting in my stupid childlike clothes"

And John Mayer! What a mega douche!

Alba is so up herself.

Perez IS a dickhead, and so one sided. He has favourites and I'm sure some of them pay him off. It's retarded and boring now.

I miss the old Angelina too, with all her wackiness. Now all she is, is a baby making machine.

I do feel like you missed one person off the list tho.

Jennifer FUCKEN Aniston.

When is that bitch gonna die?

karisap said...

This was AWESOME. I agree with everything you said especially about Audrina. Sometimes she needs a V8 smack. Acting stupid isn't cool, didn't she learn that from Paris already??
And I agree with Kass on Jennifer Aniston. Whine whine whine Jenny...want some cheese with that?

Oh and I hate that Jason Miraz guy too...because he sings that song, "I'm Yours" and the whole world has made it number one in the charts for weeks now. LISTEN TO THE WORDS. It's NOT a nice's like a "meh, alright, I give in I'll sleep with you" song. Sheesh. (sorry if you like this song but I want to strangle it)

PS> my verification word is "gropo" haha!

Farrell said...

Yikes, bad day? :)
I DESPISE John Mayer's singing. UGH.
I HATE Angelina Jolie with a passion because she is a homewrecker.
I dont' pay much attention to anyone else... (celebrity-wise i mean).
Next post: Celeberties you'd love to have as a BFF?

Sarah said...

I totally agree with you! Katy Perry - yikes! As if we needed more reasons for silly girls to be fake lesbians when out at clubs!

And I really hate that Miley Cyrus is adored by all - shes a trashy 16 year old who keeps taking porno photos of herself! We shouldnt be allowing our kids to follow in her footsteps!

Another one for the list: all the gay hollywood celebrities that try and hide it! Nobody cares if your gay! Its OK!


hehehehe your post had me laughing my sweet,great rant and put a massive much needed smile on my face.
muah x

Wanderlusting said...

I'm having a great day (week) actually but these people annoy me no matter what mood I'm in. I'm also easily annoyed. :)

I totally would add Jennifer Aniston, she is borderline for me though. She is kinda bugging me with her one day being so open and the next day saying people know too much about her. If it wasn't for the paps, no one would remember her these days.

Also Anne Hathaway is borderline. I still like her but she was getting SO much press, mainly cuz she was dumped. Like she deserves an award...hell, I deserve an award then! She also kinda looks like some dumb girl I used to be friends with (who is also a major slut) so I can't help but associate that with her.

Love her fashion sense though and I am sure Anne is not like that...she's just on the border of becoming OVEREXPOSED!

Anthea said...

I'm with you on the Perez thing. I read him too just cause there is nothing else that is updated as frequently. He is just mean sometimes. Do you read Lainey Gossip or just jared? They are pretty good.

Wondering Woman said...

Rumer Willis, I can not stand to look at her, if her parents weren't famous that girl would be hanging at home praying for a date. And the girls who host the Daily 10 show on E.... Cat & somebody, they throw their scrawny little shoulders back so far that they look like robot people. Angie you faker, how can you have all those kids, think you're a fabulous mom, and not talk to your own father. Hopefully one of your kids will treat you the same way someday and you can slap yourself around for being such a c**t. Wow, that felt good!

Odette said...

Arg I can't stand Angelina! I fully agree with you about the child hording. Not only that but she is also now going around pretty much bragging about being a home wrecker! Come on!

OOhhh did you know that Katy Perry's first CD was a gospel CD? Yeah I know...

John Mayer probably wrote most of his songs to himself.

I would add Kate Hudson, and I don't even feel that I need to justify that one!

Lol coincidentally enough my word verification work is "Crowe!" Yeah he bugs me too!!! Thankfully he seems to have retired.

Wondering Woman said...

Sorry, I just couldn't leave until I got this off my mind. I almost forgot the duck-lip girls, Meg Ryan and Lisa "aren't I gorgeous" Rinna.

Moodie said...

AHAHAH you made me laugh out loud !

Kass said...

Ack! Anne Hathaway is such a retard. I hate the way she speaks, and she looks like such a freakin' ugly dork lol.

Actually, that's probably an insult to dorks.

Michael said...

For guys, it doesn't really matter if a hot chick is annoying or not, we'd still do them. That goes for Katy Perry (she kissed a girl and she liked it!), Jessica Alba, Cameron Diaz, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Megan Fox, Katherine Heigel, and Evan Rachel Wood. For me, at least.

Good lord, that's an insanely hot list. Happy dreams for me tonight.

Word verification: "elesso", which sounds like a line of Italian shoes.

DaisyChain said...

Hahaha best post ever, I 100% agree with all of these!

cathy said...

I agree 100%. Everyone you mentioned are totally annoying.I think Anne Hathaway is weird looking also.I had to add my two cents worth.

Biru said...

beyonce is a talent and Katherine Heigel is a sweet cookie...
You have too much hate on yourself.

If anything, I don't wanna be Adam Sandler... I'm more like Kevin Spacey... fucked up in all levels, hah, but yeah, by the looks of it, you should join me on anger management.

Wanderlusting said...

Biru - Too much hate? Child, I'm afraid you have missed the "tongue-in-cheekness" of this post. I think it's funny and apparently it's bringing a smile to people's faces. I would say that's the opposite of hateful. said...

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The Clothes Horse said...

I'm so with you on Katy Perry...she's so fake!

Vegas Princess said...

Okay this was awesome. Are you in my mind because I agree with almost every sngle statement here. The only ...Angelina is not hot. :)

Oh, and I actually blogged! Halleluiah!

xs said...

wow. you just took the words out of my mouth. and yeah, michael cera should appreciate where his fame began and do the movie. he plays a form of george michael in everything anyway.