Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Just some nonsensical nonsense

To copy the great old Indy (erm, I meant old in the wise sense…not in the physical sense…but sense you’ve been holding out on us via a picture –although I have seen a picture of you once mwahahaha – you really could be like 80-years old) anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I do not lack of things to blog about, in fact I have many interesting, hopeful and joyous things – for example, I have discovered, through certain avenues, that a great deal of joy has returned to my life...well, that or my intake of Matcha Tea lattes have increased ten-fold and thus I have spent my days bouncing around like a kid on a pogo stick and shouting friendly obscenities at the world. I have NOT had a Matcha Tea latte today, for your information, which might explain why this blog is making little to no sense whatsoever. But I have had a few chocolate covered espresso beans…or more than a few.

But I digress….to what, I am not so sure. OH YES! About Indy, well it’s not about Indy but a certain thing he does on his blog which addresses questions some people have googled which have then lead them to his blog. I heart Sitemeter for just this purpose.

*One will always stick out in my mind: “My boyfriend likes to wear my garter belts”

Now, I am not sure how they got turned to my blog since this has never happened…not my knowledge at any rate. I think I would have noticed if I had showed up at a boyfriend’s house and he was resembling Dr. Frankenfurter. Or perhaps just the whole act of wearing one’s bra on their head might through you off.

So to this person, I say, “Good for you for wearing garter belts. It is a lost art (which I have talked about on Blogtalkradio with the once infamous Wombat), and one of which I am not fully embracing at the moment since summer is on its way and bare legs take precedence. BUT when your boyfriend likes to wear them, that may be a problem. Look, I am all for the kinky stuff but even I draw the line at your bf wearing your underwear – garter belts are just a bit too far. But to each his own….or your own, as it were.”

“There is always that one that have your heart”

This made me sad to read…mainly because the grammar is really picking at my brain. To them I say, “I had hope the person that have your heart ain’t a grammar liking type of people therefore you aint never got it back.”

“A quiz to find out if you have an overbite”

This one freaked me out, mainly because I had just had a discussion with someone over overbites and how practically everyone has one. He argued that I did, I pointed out that so did he and then came to the conclusion that how on earth can you eat properly if your front teeth line up on top of each other? Aside from that though, I don’t have the words "overbite" on my blog anywhere so I have no clue how they get directed to my blog but anyway. To this person I say, “You don’t need a quiz. You have one. Unless you look down and all you can see if your lower teeth. Then you probably have an overbite. Or are missing half your face.”

“Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking”

Yeah. After they label as you as an escaped mental patient. Who doesn’t wonder what mental people think?

And last but not least, “I want to be successful but I am not getting anywhere.”

Amen. Please, if you have found some tidbit of advice somewhere on my blog, do let me know. Though, I really hope it doesn’t involve muffins in any way, shape or form.


I was going to end this blog here but then I decided that I should probably fill you all in on the scenario with the 18-year old boy because some people have the Mrs. Robinson theme ringing in their ears and I would really like to put a stop to it (PS if the ringing doesn’t go away, you may have tinnitus).

My friend Kelly’s brother is staying with me for a few weeks. He is 18, his name is Josh and he is from New Zealand. Now, I know what you all are thinking so SHAME ON YOU, YOU PERVERTS! Josh, as I remember him, was a tall, gangly, goofy, pimply-faced 15-year old who loved Broadway showtunes. So get your heads out of the gutter…I mean, I was already with Kelly’s older brother, what kinda of girl do you take me for? I’m not gonna tag team her whole family.

Anyhoo, yes the lad will be staying with me in my tiny, 430 sq, foot apartment starting Friday night. He’s on a one-year working visa and just needs a place to crash until he gets a job and a place of his own. Now, I realize it may take a while for him to do so but I also know that Josh is as responsible and trustworthy as a guy can get so I have no doubts that he will accomplish everything he is setting out to do. Besides, he will probably want to be out of my apartment pretty fast after he finds out I like to blast Faithless and Lily Allen at 6:30 AM and dance around in my underwear.



Reminder: Remember to put on pants.

17 comments:

almost famous kiwi said...

Im having a visual of you and josh dancing around in your underwear at 6am listening to lily allen (who he likes I must add). He's really looking forward to getting there, you'll have a blast. I think he's sick of the air bed I got for him, it deflates in the night. I also remember pimply face geeky josh, don't know where he went, now I have a tall trendy brother who only wears brand names and checks his hair in any shiny surface. But he's still lovable josh and I'm sad he's leaving me in 2 days, but I know he's going to have the best time and he's in good hands over there in Montreal.

almost famous kiwi said...

opps, I mean Vancouver hehe

toby said...

Unless young Josh is still into Broadway show tunes, he's not going to be in a hurry to move on! Erm, how to put this delicately? He's 18 and you are the fantasy made real. (sorry, josh's sister, all blokes are the same about this)
If he is into show tunes, his Will and Grace fantasy is about to come true too!
Have fun kids.:)

Peter DeWolf said...

Today alone I had people find my site by searching for:

"pulling the pecker"

"nasty newfie porn"

and, my favourite...

"peter dewolf"

Dayngr said...

Missed you much!

Todd said...

He's 18 and you are the fantasy made real. (sorry, josh's sister, all blokes are the same about this)

Yup. That's all I've got. Just total agreement.

Indiana said...

I don't recall you seeing a photo of me, but anything is possible ~grin~ meaning there are a few floating around, even on the internet :-)

It really makes you wonder about peoples thought processes when you realise how they found your blog...or should it make you worry about your blog?

ohh, and for the record I am all for garter belts, but on her. ~wink~

The Stormin Mormon said...

"how on earth can you eat properly if your front teeth line up on top of each other?"

-That has actually ALWAYS bothered me. Seriously.


And LOL to the Dirty Pirate Hooker Label.

Tawcan said...

I'll have to agree with that Toby and Todd said.

Faithless and Lily Allen? Heck if I were 18 I'd listen to anything if there's a hot girl dancing around in her underwear. Actually even now I would lol.

Neily said...

If you want Josh to feel at home get him a toy sheep, all New Zealanders love them... Im sorry, sometimes my australian comes out at the wrong times.

Markbnj said...

Neily: A toy sheep? I think that would infuriate him...

Toby/Todd:

I agree, and am on the high side of the equation at almost 50, and still a BOY!

Lusty:
(and I quote YOU;->

Besides, ...snip...out of my apartment pretty fast ...snip...at 6:30 AM and dance around in my underwear.

DearHEART. You ARE kidding us.

Or can we expect you to treat us to a "Lusty.TV-cam" for us to watch as you and JOSH go mano-el-mano...wait that should be mano-on-woman-o?

And since he is his BIG brother's clone, lighting HAS struck once before.

And as a guy, I can't help but hear Josh's voice telling his big brother that he too nailed that older gal, and she was incredible!

And, if you want, I can pretend that I'm their dad (sorry Kiwi), and see If I can score too, for a hat-trick!!!

You see, when I say ALL men are pigs
I do NOT discriminate, nor even
leave MYSELF out of the equation!

but I am still grinning, Ms. Robinson at the images the song reminds me of..

Oh, and for you young'ins,
That was the theme song for the Dustin Hofman movie, The Graduate.

Markb, a BIG boy, in a {augh-old} man's body!

cheers to all my fellow BOYS!!!
cheer him on!!!

but we can only imagine this, I bet we never hear the truth in the blog.

Jenni-cam anyone?

Amazing that Jenni was about 10 years ahead of her time...

Wanderlusting said...

Markbnj - I'm not really sure what you are going on about again, ranting like a loon here and not really have any regard for what your comments are sounding like...

...and I can't speak for dear Josh, for whom I am regretting saying anything about (no matter funny this situation will be for both of us).

But it's kinda of immoral and, yes, slightly disgusting that you would think I would "nail" an 18-year old boy. I'm not sure whose blog you have been reading but again - as you have done before when insinuating that I was a hard-partying, irresponsible flake - I think you fail to grasp any idea of who I am at all.

There are plenty of slutty girl bloggers who would be much better suited for your comments.

Neily said...

OMG! I cannot even believe what Markbnj just wrote. All men are not like what he says they are .

Vegas Princess said...

I was all ready to leave a nice comment and then I read the trash that Markbnj left for you. Who the hell does he think he is? Forst getting all over you for acting like a "party girl" which if he read this blog regularly you plainly do not do. And now saying you will "nail" an 18 year-old. I am ashamed and revolted that someone would even think that was an appropriate comment to leave. You should ban him from your comments.

Okay, rant over...on to my real comment. I loved your site searches, may have to try that one out for myself if I can figure out how Sitemeter works.

And I am sure you will be a wonderful role model to young Josh and help him get on his feet. Plus all his friends will think he is the man having made friends with such a successful and fun older woman.

Markbnj said...

Oh Right. I am evil.


First I said, "all men are pigs, and gave a link to A poem I wrote for someone else 3-5 months ago.

Next I agreed with
Toby
Todd
tawcam

I then comment that a toy sheep is too much.

I then make ONE comment about the Jenni-cam, and you think I'm over the LINE?

Sorry. I wasn't the FIRST to suggest it, and I'm not the ONLY one who mentioned it,

Perhaps you need to read my previous reference to my poem (about how males NEVER grow into men, but remain BOYS forever)
HERE

to see that it's not just me?

Sorry to imply you have a lack of morals.

Perhaps it would look better if
never mind
Not worth it

Wanderlusting said...

MarkBNJ - I can take a joke, as we all know. And I didn't find anything wrong with what Toby and them other's said. Mainly because they were being honest in a short, concise and polite way. Not leaving a super long bizarre comment about doing their dad, having lightening strike twice, nailing the older woman, etc etc. That's a bit too much and more than my post ever called for.

BTW - I don't even know what a Jenni-cam is and for that I am grateful.

Memphis Steve said...

Actually, I do have tinnitus, but that visual of you dancing around in your underwear is priceless. I could tolerate the music if it included that, really.