To copy the great old Indy (erm, I meant old in the wise sense…not in the physical sense…but sense you’ve been holding out on us via a picture –although I have seen a picture of you once mwahahaha – you really could be like 80-years old) anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I do not lack of things to blog about, in fact I have many interesting, hopeful and joyous things – for example, I have discovered, through certain avenues, that a great deal of joy has returned to my life...well, that or my intake of Matcha Tea lattes have increased ten-fold and thus I have spent my days bouncing around like a kid on a pogo stick and shouting friendly obscenities at the world. I have NOT had a Matcha Tea latte today, for your information, which might explain why this blog is making little to no sense whatsoever. But I have had a few chocolate covered espresso beans…or more than a few.
But I digress….to what, I am not so sure. OH YES! About Indy, well it’s not about Indy but a certain thing he does on his blog which addresses questions some people have googled which have then lead them to his blog. I heart Sitemeter for just this purpose.
*One will always stick out in my mind: “My boyfriend likes to wear my garter belts”
Now, I am not sure how they got turned to my blog since this has never happened…not my knowledge at any rate. I think I would have noticed if I had showed up at a boyfriend’s house and he was resembling Dr. Frankenfurter. Or perhaps just the whole act of wearing one’s bra on their head might through you off.
So to this person, I say, “Good for you for wearing garter belts. It is a lost art (which I have talked about on Blogtalkradio with the once infamous Wombat), and one of which I am not fully embracing at the moment since summer is on its way and bare legs take precedence. BUT when your boyfriend likes to wear them, that may be a problem. Look, I am all for the kinky stuff but even I draw the line at your bf wearing your underwear – garter belts are just a bit too far. But to each his own….or your own, as it were.”
“There is always that one that have your heart”
This made me sad to read…mainly because the grammar is really picking at my brain. To them I say, “I had hope the person that have your heart ain’t a grammar liking type of people therefore you aint never got it back.”
“A quiz to find out if you have an overbite”
This one freaked me out, mainly because I had just had a discussion with someone over overbites and how practically everyone has one. He argued that I did, I pointed out that so did he and then came to the conclusion that how on earth can you eat properly if your front teeth line up on top of each other? Aside from that though, I don’t have the words "overbite" on my blog anywhere so I have no clue how they get directed to my blog but anyway. To this person I say, “You don’t need a quiz. You have one. Unless you look down and all you can see if your lower teeth. Then you probably have an overbite. Or are missing half your face.”
“Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking”
Yeah. After they label as you as an escaped mental patient. Who doesn’t wonder what mental people think?
And last but not least, “I want to be successful but I am not getting anywhere.”
Amen. Please, if you have found some tidbit of advice somewhere on my blog, do let me know. Though, I really hope it doesn’t involve muffins in any way, shape or form.
I was going to end this blog here but then I decided that I should probably fill you all in on the scenario with the 18-year old boy because some people have the Mrs. Robinson theme ringing in their ears and I would really like to put a stop to it (PS if the ringing doesn’t go away, you may have tinnitus).
My friend Kelly’s brother is staying with me for a few weeks. He is 18, his name is Josh and he is from New Zealand. Now, I know what you all are thinking so SHAME ON YOU, YOU PERVERTS! Josh, as I remember him, was a tall, gangly, goofy, pimply-faced 15-year old who loved Broadway showtunes. So get your heads out of the gutter…I mean, I was already with Kelly’s older brother, what kinda of girl do you take me for? I’m not gonna tag team her whole family.
Anyhoo, yes the lad will be staying with me in my tiny, 430 sq, foot apartment starting Friday night. He’s on a one-year working visa and just needs a place to crash until he gets a job and a place of his own. Now, I realize it may take a while for him to do so but I also know that Josh is as responsible and trustworthy as a guy can get so I have no doubts that he will accomplish everything he is setting out to do. Besides, he will probably want to be out of my apartment pretty fast after he finds out I like to blast Faithless and Lily Allen at 6:30 AM and dance around in my underwear.
Reminder: Remember to put on pants.