Thursday, June 14, 2007

Age aint nothing but a number

First, an update on yours truly…
My new roomie: I am having a blast with Josh – he truly is the most fun, level-headed 18-year old who has ever graced me with their presence. It will be sad when he eventually goes – not only will I lose my dancing in my underwear partner but I will lose someone I can drag out to the movies and to dinner every night. He’s like a boyfriend in training that listens to me talk about boys, lets me subject him to MST3K, BBC’s The Office (season one, thus far), Extras and Arrested Development (still, season one, thus far) AND does the dishes while I am at work.

My job: Crazy good. I’m bonding with the receptionist L again (who is truly lovely), getting kudos from the execs (B patted me on the back the other day and told me I was doing a good job), writing for the newsletter (it felt so good to be writing articles again, and having complete creative control over the thing) and sharing with other employees on Facebook – including my boss. Plus one of the execs is back from her honeymoon and she is putting me more in charge of different avenues – one of which include spreading my expertise to crafting Keynote presentations. And she also just added to Facebook as we speak. Good Lord! Anyhoo, we had a photo shoot too and soon my picture will be up on the company website.

On the down side (cuz there always is one), the ex-office manager who was moved/promoted to a different position, has been micro-managing me. My own boss is aware of this and is pissed about it because it in her words, “I don’t f*%%#^&* micro manage you, who the F%#$$ is she to do that to you?” Apparently it’s not just me though, she treats L like her bitch, giving her a million things to do a day that she could easily do herself. It got so bad that L has been bursting in tears at work and had to write the girl a letter – which did not go down too favourably. There is some bad blood now-which I, thankfully, am not involved with. Still, I’m a bit wary. I appreciate that the ex-office manager wants me to succeed (as she says in her frequent and LONG emails to which state everything that I should be doing in my job), but I do not appreciate that she also sends these emails to my boss, as if to say “if Lusty isn’t doing this stuff then she’s not doing her job.” Luckily, my boss doesn’t appreciate the emails either.

Life in general: Is fabulous FINALLY – and I’m not exaggerating or saying it for the hell of it. Maybe it’s the Bible, maybe it’s reuniting with old friends, maybe it’s just about time, but I’m finally at the point in my life where I am waking up in the morning with the most excellent smile on my face. I’ve been in the most buoyant, joyous state, which I first thought was a good mood but now I realize it is just me. And I love me! The darkness has finally past and June has-so far-turned out to be s’wonderful and s’marvelous. Yes, there have been a few moments of pain but they never linger, never last and before you know it I’ve forgotten about it. It just seems like an old, vaguely remembered life that I have closed the door on and now I’m just so excited for the here, the now and what lies ahead. My heart is healed, I feel complete and I am moving on. Things always work out for the best and this is no exception.

Anyway, my topic for today’s post is about AGE.

I have always thought that I would never go out with someone that was my own age or younger. This is usually because of the adage that girls mature faster than boys, as well as the fact that everything is still inexplicably linked to high school. It compartmentalized ages into neat groups and you were usually chastised for stepping out of them (case in point: my first boyfriend was 16 and I was 14…and I thought I was soooo cool. However, if a girl in grade 11 went out with a guy in grade 9…well that would be so “Harold and Maude”).

And even in our adult years, it is still somewhat of a novelty when a woman goes out with a younger man. While the reverse is accepted and actually encouraged, the woman usually gets the label of “cougar” (see Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz etc).

Again, I guess it’s because the assumption is that older men are more secure, successful and mature while younger men are just boys. Yet, there are 28-year olds who live like they are in a college dorm. There are 30-year olds who think their idea of an investment is a $10,000 television and still work at their high school job. And I know women who will only date 40-year olds, lulled into a false security of “maturity” when they are plainly ignoring the fact that there is a reason a 40-year old man is with a 25-year old girl.

So, is it unfair to exclude a guy just because he is younger? Does 16 months make that much of a difference? What if the guy is amazing, with a wise, sweet soul, feels warmly electric when he touches you and makes you laugh like no one else can? What if he not usually your type – do opposites attract (AAHH, ignore that question, that’s for a future post).

Or does age really matter in the end…I know the heart doesn’t know age, but our minds and logic do. Are younger guys just for “fun” or are they a risk worth gambling on? Your thoughts – Women, would you and have you dated a younger man? What happened? Men, have you dated an older woman? Pros and cons?

Disclaimer: before anyone jumps on their horse about this, I would like to clarify that I am NOT talking about Josh (he does read my blog, btw, and says hi) because, good heavens, 8 years is a big difference…I’m just talking about a few years here, and, also, I am not necessarily talking about anyone specific. I am just curious, ‘tis all…

19 comments:

Kass said...

You liar! You're not 'just curious' you're grooming us for your love-sick romance drama that's about to be dropped on us all!

Exceelleeent..

Hi Josh! Welcome to Vancouver!

Kass said...

First on the boat! I rock! lolz

Kass said...

Now I just feel like spamming your comments.

It's fun, ya?

Kass said...

But I'm seriously getting sick of the ridiculously long word verifications that I can never seem to get right!

Kass said...

I do have a most serious question tho, do you want us to bring anything other than delicious liquor to your superb summer social on Saturday?

Neily said...

You know, Im not sure how appropriate this is but I think it applies to your question. Having sex with a 50 year old is like trying to play pool with a rope. Having sex with a 20 year old is like trying to get 12 seconds out of a 10 second movie

dahna said...

Second cab off!: As I approach the big 30, I like to think of age as an abstract thing. And my dating history backs that idea up. I have dated younger and older men - and all of them, current boyfriend aside, have been immature! Oh, the benefit of hindsight. Oh, and regarding your last post, I was thinking about my ex - (whom I almost married - thank god I didn't). He was too good looking. Also a doctor, which made it even worse, 'cause he had that whole status appeal thing too. And I felt like the dumpy chick with the good looking guy that everyone drooled over. And he played the sex appeal card, and used to enjoy making me jealous... and without going into an essay, he cheated. And he had a serious personality disorder. All those women who told me I was "so lucky to have a guy like him" has NO IDEA how unlucky I was. Sorry to rant, but your words inspired me. Thanks. Over. ;-)

Dahna said...

oh, darn, someone got in before me while I was tapping out my rant. Guess that makes me third cab off the rank. You have a popular blog, miss lusty ;-)

Indiana said...

Ok, at the risk of getting pitying stares and "you dirty bastard" comments, I have dated 17 years up, and 17 years down.

It's about age, its about chemistry, compatibility and a shared desire to be together. And while you can get lost in arguments about "what about when your 60", I tend to rather think on the immediate feelings, let tomorrow take care of itself and in the meantime just enjoy the time you have with someone who makes you feel alive.

And for the record, the 17 years up was extremely immature, and the 17 years down was (and is) one of the most mature women I know.

Indiana said...

Oh and to reply to Neily's comment:

Having Sex with a 50 year old is like playing with a wrinkled prune while doing all the work, while having sex with a 20 year old is an Olympic Gymnastic Marathon.

The advantage of the 25 year old, is that you get to use all your knowledge to ensure an incredible time is had by both of you, knowledge that you didn't have when you were 25.

Rachel said...

There isn't anything wrong with dating someone a bit younger than you are as long as you are both of age.

I think that the older you get the wider gap you are willing to date. I am 33 and would be fine dating someone 27 or older but I still don't see myself dating anyone 40 or above.

toby said...

What's age got to do with it?
If it's so much effort you're in the wrong place with the wrong person.

Dayngr said...

I think the bottom line is that the person must be your equal mentally. If so, then age doesn't really make much of a difference.

Vegas Princess said...

I am so glad everything is falling in to place for you. Sounds like you are doing wonderfully!

To me, age doesn't matter. It matters how the person makes me feel. I have dated men who are 12 years older than me all the way down to three years younger than me. And they all had special qualities that I liked.

Scorpy said...

Ditto Indy but my oldest was 18 above..I was 18 she was 36 (ex's mother long story) and the other way was probably about the same...but different ages. My Mum is seven years older than my Dad. My uncle's wife is six years older than him. It doesn't matter at all IMHO :)

Runaway Rubber Duckie said...

I think younger is ok. Just sometimes it's easy to forget they're younger after awhile.
I love arrested development!! LOL!

Heather said...

I don't think age really matters either. If you enjoy the person as a whole, than what's it matter? Everyone's got different tastes, do what works for you. I hang out with a guy friend that's 10 yrs. older than me, and to be honest, I actually forget the age difference!

CarrieBradshaw said...

I just met a guy who is 37 and I am 27. To me it seemed huge that he was nearly forty when I wasn't even 30. He looks much younger than his age and I hope I do too. ;oP After I got know him I felt like age didn't matter. But the more I got to know him the more it made me question it, do I want to be with a 37 year old who is in the same place in their life as a 27 years???

Markbnj said...

I agree with Kass. (Just kidding... I was reamed out about the idea with Josh weeks ago, and don't care to rehash it.)
Josh, Vancouver was one of my favorite cities when traveling...

And Lusty, I agree with the consensus that Age +/- 10years becomes fine.

And (unfortunately..from personal experience) The thing about the 50 year old dried prune vs the 18 yr old stud???

Yeah, I'm glad I have my cuddle bunny, and that we're roughly the same age, because (believe it or not) anti-depression drugs also suppress your libido...drats...

MarkB. (but still kicking)