Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Flattery will get you everywhere

I've never been one to accept compliments very well - but there are some that absolutely make my day. Yes, I often hear "you're beautiful" or "you're pretty," which of course is very nice to hear but in actuality it makes me really uncomfortable. Mainly because I don't believe it myself so I think these people are just humouring me. Or just being very unoriginal (but by all means, that should not stop you from saying anything!)

But to hear I am "smart" or a "great writer," well, that really puts a smile on my face. And today, I received - to me anyways - the best compliment of them all. I was beaming...like this picture of me in my elevator...with....people:




The object of my recent affection, whom I have been trying to make laugh ever since I met him because he happens to have the most wonderful smile ever, told me today that "You make me laugh so much - in all honesty, I don't think I have ever met a funnier girl."

Success! Of course, most of you are probably scratching your heads and thinking "she's funny?" But, meh, you oughta meet me. Actually, don't - I'll just disappoint you.

Of course, this compliment is coming from a guy whom I think is just the wittiest guy that I have ever met, so it really means a lot. Sigh...there I go, beaming again.

So, what is a great compliment to you? When people say you are a good person? A great singer? A sexy beast? Fill me in...

BTW - this is Josh and I at my recent party - despite what it looks like, he is not the object of my affection. Well, not in that way...

17 comments:

Kass said...

I'm so with you on the compliments about something like that from someone you consider the king of that something!

Does that even make sense?

I mean, if you think someone is amazing, and then they turn around and call you amazing, that rocks.

Peter DeWolf said...

I like compliments on my writing.

And, of course, compliments in general are hugely differet depending on who gives 'em.

Dan said...

I like you. I really do.

Oh wait, was that what I expect as a compliment or what I was saying to you. Hmm... witty indeed.

brandy said...

I agree with the compliment thing- it's so much nicer to be complimented on a talent or skill you can control, rather than something like beauty which you aren't in charge of. I think the worst compliments are the one that talk about boobs. Because really? That's all you got? You are complimenting me on a piece of my body? Sigh. And this was said by a man on the first date. Shockingly there wasn't a second.

Markbnj said...

Brandy: As I always say (search my poetry blog for the link, titled) MEN are PIGS. And younger men are usually BIGGER pigs because they don't know better, and think a woman's body is so wonderous, that you ARE receiving a compliment from them...
(I know back handed logic, but that's it...)

Lusty:
I think that the best thing in GENERAL is:

Make sure to COMPLIMENT people OFTEN, and
make sure to compliment them more often then you criticize them.

The more you compliment, the more your skills in working/motivating, and empowering people become, and the more well thought of you will actually become.

The converse is:
The more you criticize, the more critical, and negative you become.

Hope this actually helps with REAL feedback. let me know.

It's essentially Dale Carnigie's words, when he said;:

The nicest compliment someone ever gave me was when they called me a great conversationalist, even though THEY did all the talking...

In other words, LISTEN like you CARE, and people will ALSO care.

Tough advice, especially for me (personally...)
Mark Brown

Sipwine said...

Best compliment ever..

My friend Paul, looking at me when he barely knew me, and saying "You remind me of a 90's Audrey Hepburn"

He had no idea that I was a big fan of Audrey Hepburn, owning 16 of her 21 full length featured films.

hehe

Dayngr said...

You go girl. Glad to hear you're smiling again and the world is a little brighter.

Todd said...

What if I said you're an attractive writer? Is that easier to accept?

I just get told that I'm funny looking.

Scotty said...

Best compliment I have received, on a written evaluation which I have kept: "His peers aspire to be like him"

Rachel said...

Hm. That's a tough one. I think it's when people compliment my intelligence. Which is not a lot :)

ADW said...

I love when people get my humor and realize that I am intelligent. Sometimes it takes a while, but that makes it all the more sweet.

almost famous kiwi said...

From what I hear the object of your affection is a great guy! im so happy for you, you deserve all lifes great things. At my work all the kitchen guys call me the pretty New Zealand girl, as cheesy as it is I cant help but smile, it sure is nice to hear each day you go to work! But when the guy youre with tells you that he thinks youre the funniest or prettiest girl, or whatever the compliment may be, theres nothing better!

Vegas Princess said...

That picture of you and Josh is so cute! But don't him I said that. :)

I like being told I am smart and good at what I do, especially since I work with all men. This object of yours sounds like a keeper.

M said...

I've spent my whole life struggling with the notion of accepting compliments. I was definitely brought up to be wary of them and to generally regard all compliments as untrue. It was a huge fault in the way I was raised.

I'm better now, a lot better and I really enjoy compliments even though I still struggle with the 'what do they want from me' thing. I guess you never really leave your childhood behind.

Even so, the compliments that I find most enjoyable are the ones where people see *me*. They compliment me on a talent or something like that.

coffeesnob said...

nice try, k. but not fooling anyone. your prettiness is obvious to all. even you. i'm sure no one is complaining.

Adjil said...

Hey - Are you all having a keg party in the elevator?

Wanderlusting said...

Of course, it is all fairly obvious now that I am smiling profusely at the "Object of my Affection" in this photograph. Sigh.