We’ve all heard the saying “opposites attract” but how many of us actually believe it to be the truth?
Personally, I tend to think that the opposite of opposites attract….whatever that may be. I tend to gravitate to people who are like me, who laugh at the same things I laugh at and like the same things I like.
But perhaps this isn’t what the saying means. What, really, is opposite? Is it someone whose personality is very unlike yours? Or is it someone whose interests and appearance stray from your own? For example...take Lady and the Tramp (see above, left)...the two dogs couldn't be more opposite but one spaghetti meal later and BLAM! Instant love.
The other day I was talking to a friend from work about meeting people you used to go to elementary school with. I pointed out that the novelty quickly wears out when you realize you have nothing in common with them. To that, he said, “Well what’s the fun in that? I don’t want to meet people that I am like. I want to meet people that I am Unlike. Like lion tamers…” and so on.
So when they say, opposites attract, what kind of opposite are we talking about here? And is there any truth in the matter? Or is it more of opposites attracting and then not lasting?
For example, take someone like me. I am fairly quiet (I think), I dress up quite a bit (and rarely dress down though I have my days) and my taste in music is quite particular…though I love classic rock, hard rock (of today) isn’t quite up my alley (the 90’s though, was a different story…I recently acquired Sirius Satellite radio and by far my favourite channel is the 90’s Alternative and Grunge Channel. Pure bliss!). So, for someone like me to go out with a guy who is in a rock band (let’s say, guitarist), would be quite weird, right? Wouldn’t a better match for this person be an alterna-girl with two-tone hair, cargo pants and trainers?
Or would this possibly work because perhaps we have the same sense of humour and love all the same movies and shows (and the ability to quote them endlessly and never get tired of it)? OR do you need more than that? How much do you need in common to make something work? Does it matter at all?
Looking back, everyone I have gone out with had many differences as well as similarities. In fact, my last relationship ended because we were “too different.” Apparently, this takes some people over a year to figure out…and apparently, you can think you are the same as someone, all the while they are actually thinking the opposite. And thus apparently, being “different” can be seen as a bad thing to some.
That said, the fact there were some differences opened me up to whole bunch of new experiences and things. My high school boyfriends introduced me to new music (Bad Religion, Nine Inch Nails), while my last boyfriend introduced me to football (AKA soccer), which I have actually grown to love and am SO excited to go to the Vancouver Whitecaps VS LA Galaxy game in October (HELLO DAVID BECKHAM!) and Arrested Development (which ironically, has led me to “bond” with others who like the show and thus starting a whole new set of things in “common”).
So what do you think? Is it best to pair up with people who are like you? Do opposites really attract – and do they last? What really matters in the end?