Khaki Blues

The weather has been absolutely delightful in Vancity lately, aside from a never-ending breeze that likes to blow up all but my most structured skirts and dresses.

And to be honest, I really haven't been in much of a "pant" mood lately. I've been working out like a madwoman (more on that after the photos) and am at that awkward "I have muscle now but my fat is still on top" phase, so the binding restrictions of pants are really off-putting.

My happy medium? Those darn comfy silk cargo pants again:








Silk pants: VS; Safari jacket: Forever 21; Purse and jewelry: ASOS; Top: Zara (bought in a Zara in Finland in 2005! Yay for old clothes!); Sandals: Union Bay


So I've started training with my friend (and ex-designer for Narccissist) Hannah Fletcher. I've always admired Hannah's stunningly athletic physique (not to mention model-like prettiness and the sunniest disposition ever), so once I found out she was adding personal training to her already packed physical repetoire (including pole dance glasses and various other high intensity sessions at some of the best gyms in the city), I jumped at the chance.

I never had a personal trainer before and even though my financial situation didn't really warrant one, my BODY did. Plus Hannah has an amazing price and is extremely kind with my payment situation.

When I showed up on day one, back at the start of April, I did not know what to expect. I guess I thought it would kind of be like what I did on my own regarding weights... you know, bicep curls, squats, sit-ups, etc. I thought she would just critique my position and keep me going.

Well, she DOES do that. But you don't just do "bicep curls, squats and sit-ups" - you do those plus a hundred other things at the same time, with big weights(for me), at very high intensity with as many reps as you can until you want to puke, combined with other things like push-ups on a Bosu followed by a million burpies followed by walking squats across the gym with a 10 pound ball above your head followed by DEATH.

I'm not kidding... the end of the session feels like death. And it's great. You just lie there on the mat and she stretches you FOR YOU which is perfect since I can't actually move at all.

It's tough going, no doubt. There are times when I am almost crying because it's so hard (I have balance issues thanks to my club feet which makes things extra hard), there are times when I have to stop because I literally think I am going to puke all over the mat (no joke - Hannah knows my vomit-on-you face now) and there are times when my muscles just won't move. They just wont. You tell your arms "one more pushup" and they literally yell "NO!" and won't move. It's crazy.

The worst part - even worse than the pain - is how stupid I look. I mean, I get BEET RED to the point where I look like I have third degree burns, I am absolutely covered in sweat and can barely talk, breathe or exist. Meanwhile, everyone else in the gym looks as cool as a cucumber. Is it just harder for me? Or is Hannah just a real "The Biggest Loser" -ish trainer who pushes you to the limit more than the other trainers do? It's probably both.

I think I'm getting better though. And I know I am building muscle... I keep poking my stomach pooch and fearing that I'm pregnant because it's all hard now (hard underneath all the flab... or maybe that's my swollen liver!). That's the problem though... i have the muscle but it's underneath the fat still. More days jogging and perhaps eating less sugar should help with that, but I'm still trying to do one thing at a time!

Hopefully if I update you in a month's time, you'll be able to SEE the muscle that so far can only be felt :)