Tired of being a whore

A while back, Farrell made a comment that job-hunting was a lot like dating. I've been stewing over this as I have gone on interview after interview and have come to the conclusion that she could not be more right.


I never dated, as some of you might know. I found it tedious, disappointing and annoying. I just kind of waited until the man of my dreams fell in my lap (after a few pathetic men fell in my lap first).

But job-hunting doesn't work like that. At least, I haven't had the same kind of luck as I have had in my love life. One would assume that after shitty jobs (just like having shitty boyfriends) I would finally, easily, land my dream job. Or even, a "good enough" job. I am not as picky with jobs as I am with my men, as you can tell, but that doesn't make it easier. As my friend complained to me the other day "I wish I had a great guy like you do," I said, "I wish I had a great job, like you do." We have opposite problems. She has a job, wants a guy. I have a guy, want a job.

Anyway, I have been trying not to write too much about job-hunting here because I feel it's all I talk about. But you know what? It's my life right now. THIS is my life.

I have been applying everywhere, been on very few interviews and I am amazed at how tedious, disappointing and annoying job-hunting is. Just like dating.

Case in point....

Remember the dream job I went for a few weeks ago? That was like dating someone noncommital and unsure of what they want. Sure, they SAY they want a relationship but then when you think it's finally going somewhere, they back out and declare themselves not ready. How much time and effort I wasted over that one.

Then there are the shallow ones. Last week I applied for another "dream job," to be an exec assistant and office manager at an online magazine of sorts. I really sold them on my journalism degree and EA experience. So I went in to the interview. The guy asked me what websites I went to on a daily basis. I was honest - Perez Hilton, my favourite blogs, Go Fug Yourself, forever21.com. Probably the wrong answers.

Then he asks how my Excel skills are. Well, they USED to be horrible until two weeks ago when I took a course in intermediate certification. I passed and felt uber confident with the once-scary program that ruined many lives (I really, really felt Excel warped my brain). So he then asks me to do an excel test. On the spot.

I felt vaguely confident because hey, I just did the course the week before and I passed - I had my certificate. PLUS on the job description, Excel knowledge was a "nice to have" and NOT a requirement.

So I tried to do the test. And even though I knew what it was asking of me, my brain froze. I hadn't done a problem in this certain way and wasn't sure how to do it. I must have struggled for 10 minutes, trying in vain to figure it out. In the end he helped me out, to which I muttered, red-faced "But I do have my certificate." He just nodded and went back to interview questions. He then gave me his card and said he would let me know by tomorrow about a 2nd interview.

I get home 20 minutes later and find a "sorry" email from him. He doesn't think my technical skills are good enough.

If Excel is REALLY that important, than put it in your ad as important! That's like someone saying looks aren't necesary and then brushing you off because you have love handles. And way to dismiss the fact that I have the exact education AND work experience for the role. And the fact that I said I'm taking the advance course on the 21st of July. None of that mattered.

I was gutted and humiliated, to say the least. And even though he said he had other people to interview, I see the same ad posted again today.

I also had two other interviews. One was for the role of a personal assistant to a CTO of the 80 most popular website in the world (45 million hits a day or something).

I almost didn't get that interview because the HR person say I was OVER QUALIFIED FOR THE ROLE! I can't fucking win. I could even tell in the interview that the CTO felt bad explaining the job because he too thought I was too good for it. OK, so it's a lot of errand running. But it's for an important company, the CTO was super cool, the pay would be not taxed and it seemed like it could be fun. The intervew itself lasted 2 hours!!! Just me and him, talking over coffee. In date land, this would have been a good one. But his tentative yes has turned into silence a few days later. Did he think he came on too strong? Did he think I was too good for him? LE SIGH.

Oh right, then there was another interview to be the EA to the CEO of a downtown hotel. At first it sounded cool cuz it was a 5-min walk away from my place, it would involve lots of writing, marketing and PR and would pay well.

Then I saw someone on Craigslist has posted a warning about the job. Saying that the boss was hell to work for, that you would have no life and that the job has been advertised every three months. I looked and saw this was true.

I took it with a grain of salt but already felt uneasy. Then at the interview, the interviewer (who was actually the person leaving the role) mentioned something about The Devil Wears Prada and how similar the roles were. yeah. Um...

Then for some reason, I got called for a second interview, this time with the CEO.

I showed up, nervous as hell even though I didn't really feel good about the position and waited. For twenty minutes.

After twenty minutes, the old EA came out and said (calling me by the wrong name), "I'm sorry but the girl who was interviewed before you, just accepted the job. Sorry to waste your time."

FUCK ME. Rejected by someone I wasn't even interested in!!

Anyhoo, that was today. Tomorrow I have an interview for a markting role, which sounds really neat however I have to make a huge project for a fake sponsorship package and then present it tomorrow, in person, in front of the company - people I haven't even MET yet. I actually have HOMEWORK for a job that I don't even have. And then after my presentation on my project, I have to then take a writing test/assignment. I understand that this will totally show if I can do the job or not but still...WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD OLD FASHIONED INTERVIEWS????

Then there have been all the jobs I have applied for through recruiting firms.

I have been PERFECTLY qualified for all of the jobs and haven't heard from any.

Recruiting firms are a scam. They post fake ads and just collect resumes so they can say they have the most. I even have a "friend" who works at such a firm and he can't even help me. I feel sorry for him for entry such a horrible field, to lead so many people on. I don't know what it's like in your city but in Vancouver, 90% of jobs advertised through recruiting firms lead to nowhere, which is why they post the same ad so many times. I have even tailored my resume (aka flat-out lying) to see if I would at least be contacted for specific jobs. NOPE. Recruitment and temp agencies are just those stupid bimbos who put some slutty picture of themselves on Lavalife just to see how many responses they get so they can feel good about themselves.

And Wednesday. Well, Wednesday I have an interview for a job that I didn't even apply for.

Good times.