Still Tired

I am really, really hoping this will one of the last posts of this nature because I am really, really getting sick of writing about it and even more so about actually living it.

Last week was pretty intense if you have't gathered from my previous post.

On Tuesday I had a presentation that I had to conduct in front of a panel. It was for a nearby city's board of trade and basically I had to put together a Sponsorship Package which I would send to the CEO or whomever of a company, trying to convince them to sponsor these business excellence awards that the company I was applying for would host.

OK. I had NO idea how to put together a sponsorship package. Thank God for the internet, where I got an idea of what to do. I created it in Powerpoint, using their logo and pretty pictures and facts from their website and in the end I was fairly impressed. Don't think it was as good as someones who HAD been doing sponsorship packages before, but still not bad.

Of course, I also had to the present the thing in front of people I didn't know. And of course, they didn't have a computer so the fact that it was on powerpoint was useless. Luckily I had made enough copies for everyone who was interviewing me but it sucked that I was the focus of the presentation...I was really hoping to distract them with pretty slides.

At any rate, I think the presentation went well, considering, and then I was subjected to an hour long panel interview. After that torture was over, I had to do a 20min writing test. THANKFULLY the test went better than that Excel one that I did - basicaly I had to write up an article for the local paper about the "excellence awards."

When I arrived back home later, I had gotten an email saying they wanted more writing samples and my references. I sent those off, but even though they said they would let me know by the end of last week, I still haven't heard anything. I know by now that when it comes to jobs, no news is BAD NEWS.

On Wednesday I had my next interview at a PR firm. They had my resume on file, so I actually didn't apply for it. And so despite the long interview and then the press release that I had to write up, I learned today that I didn't get that job. I'm not choked about it though. It was something I probably wouldn't have applied for....a management position that sounded kind of above me. Or WAY above me, at least at this point in my life. I was actually quite impressed though at my interview skills. While they probably didn't hire me because I don't have managerial experience, I know they were still impressed. And if they weren't, I was just proud of how poised, professional and confident I acted.

But still - didn't matter in the end how well I do. SIGH.

I've just been feeling so much stress from job-searching, I don't know what to do. My body is falling apart. Everything hurts, I'm so angry, so tired and so confused. I had never EVER realized it would be this hard. It almost makes me regret quitting my last job and turning down the EA job, even though it had felt right at the time. I just don't understand why someone like me, who is personable, educated, persistent and experienced is having so much trouble getting employment. I mean, as you know, I am not even being picky anymore. I just need a job to survive, I need a job in order to get a mortgage, in order for my rockstar and I to buy a place. I need so much and I keep coming up short.

This weekend, we went away for our anniversary trip the dry, sunny interior. It was much needed - at some points, too much. Combine us two with a beach, hot sun and a bottle of Absinthe and....well...let's just say we are glad we didn't get arrested (though shocked of our actions). I'll explain exactly what happened the next post...:P

Anyway, after this weekend, I had hoped to come back refreshed, with a new week of possibilities (this was my POSITIVE attitude, which is hard for me to conjure up since I have been job hunting for TWO MONTHS now).

But now, looking at Craigslist makes me sick. Job ads make me sick. I can' help but think, what's the point? Why bother applying? They'll make me jump through hoops for nothing. I'll be overqualified or not qualified enough. I'll get my hopes up, only to have them dashed. I am just so tired, so sick and just really, really hating my life at this moment. To be honest, this is one of the most exhausting and emotionally-trying periods of my life - and I've been dumped a lot!

Anyhoo, there is one small window of hope, which I don't want to blog about as I feel like it could fall through and I will look stupid again (just read the film job posts). It's not my dream job, but it's a job and it's something I could see being easy and a lot of fun. But again, I'm not saying ANYTHING until I have signed on the dotted line.

Until then, if you want to know how I am doing, just re-read this post. Because until I actually get a job, none of the above is going to change.