As you all know, I had been having trouble with my old birth control pills. After ten years on Ortho-Tri-Cyclen, it just wasn't doing it's "job" anymore, which is kinda scary. So, I switched to a monophasic kind that gave me terrible mood swings and anger problems....but on the plus side, it has revved up my sex drive (which really didn't need to be revved up in the first place but I digress).
Now, two weeks into the new pill, my moods are better (short temper is sadly inherited from my father) as I think my body as adjusted to the new hormones. The sex drive is still in high gear, which is actually REALLY annoying. Shit, now I know what all you high school guys went through. I'm clawing the air here and my poor boyfriend gets physically attacked when he walks in the door. Not that being the sexual agressor is new to me in relationships but this time I am really putting the AGGRESSIVE RAAAAAR! in it.
Anyhoo, for the last few days I was worried I was pregnant. Mainly because I thought if my last pill wasn't working as it should, then who knows. Plus my stomach felt bigger, more bloated, my boobs were bigger....OK so I probably just gained weight (stupid beer) but that didn't stop me from being paranoid all week.
Last night though - to spare you from graphic detail - I kinda of got a minor touch of a sign that I wasn't pregnant. So I breathed a sigh of relief and went "yaaaaay!" (not pregnant) and then went"boooo!" (in case this meant I was getting my period-boo). I don't know if it's like that with other women, but everytime I get it I have mixed feelings that like :P
So I told the bf this and he got all quiet. He told me that if I am worried about things like that, that I should tell him, even if I think it's nothing. He doesn't want me to worry by myself and does not want to be one of those guys who think it's the women's job to worry about birth control - after all, he said, we both are having sex.
That got me thinking.... do you think birth control should be a shared thing? Does anyone actually split the cost of their birth control (like pills) with their partner? Does their partner have any input when it comes to different forms and what not?
AND - for you women out there - if the birth control pill for a man became available (they are working on one that causes a "dry" ejaculation which sounds terrible - but less messy ;) - would you trust a man to take it? I know a lot of women would jump at the chance to have men go through this and be responsible but frankly...I don't know if I could do it.
16 comments:
Nope, I definitely want to keep the risk of pregnancy in my hands! Guys can't even remember to put the toilet seat down most of the time!
I don't think it's too much to expect the guy to have birth control as well - as your boyfriend put it, you are both having sex with each other.
That said, like wiscoblonde said - better safe than sorry!
As for "dry ejaculation", I think there's still semen just that there's no sperm in it right?
I think both parties should take responsibility for birth control, but I don't think the topic comes up much, it's mostly assumed that if one is in a relationship, the female 'takes care' of such matters.
I've never even discussed it with my boy....but I think I will now.
Responsibility and costs for birth control should be shared - especially if the girl goes or stays on BC just so they can have sex without a condom.
I'd probably want to keep control of taking the BCP myself though rather than leave it to the guy.
However, after I've had my children then I don't want to be on BCP. In fact I don't want to be on the pill for the rest of my life. It fucks with your system.
I would NEVER, EVER trust a guy to take a pill every day.
I did discuss contraception with my bf a lot though. He also paid part of it when I switched to the coil (even if reluctantly).
All the guys I've met (... or should I say hooked up) up to now have worried about birth control one way of the other. I think it's sweet.
Yeah, I'd rather be the one in control on that...
My husband and I actually both handle the birth control. I am on the pill to help regulate my horrible periods but other meds I have to take weaken its effectiveness so he still covers up too. It is kinda nice to know we are both making sacrifices.
i'll wear a full body condom if my partner askes me to...
my girlfriend Dixie has taken this out of my hands. she wanted to try out an IUD. it works as described on the label.
i think it really depends on where you are in the relationship. i'm sure not gonna trust the girl i met at the bar 4 hrs ago to be on the pill or to be clean. but the girl i've been monogamous with for the last 2 years...
Although I like the idea of handing over the responsibility to my man... I don't think he would be responsible.
SO I think if I were taking birth control I would want to be the one to take it every day.... and since birth control doesn't work for me... (first baby using the pill...second using depo shot)
I guess my hubby and I are doing the least responsible thing.. and just using the pull out method!! LOL! YAY pull out method!
ps I HATE your security feature!! I have no password... I don't know what it is
if a guy i'm sleeping with wants to take a male contraceptive fine...but I will still be taking my own.
I've been on the pill for numerous years, all of which started because of reasons unrelated to actual birth control. I don't plan on stopping them until I decide I really do want to get pregnant. Becuase to me that whole not getting pregnant thing is a side effect of the pill. :)
I'm just saying.
p.s. my doc says she is attending study sessions on a new 365 day pill at the end of the year, and she thinks it will be great. I'm definitely asking her about that at my next appt.
I sooo would not trust my bf to take a pill! I don't trust my pill completely, had too many friends get pregnant while on it so I still use condoms too. I buy the birth control and my bf buys the condoms. I'm acutally getting the better deal cos I get mine reimbursed through insurance.
I remember having a pregnancy scare a couple of years ago and didn't tell my bf until after I'd taken a test and seen a doctor. They may say they wont freak out but they will. Us women have had more time getting used to the 'oh thank god Im not pregnant' routine each month. Its best to wait and say something when you've got someting to say.
I've had the odd paramour offer to pay for half my (rather expensive) Yasmin pills, but none have actually come through with the goods yet. Hmm.
It's interesting that some of you wouldn't trust your bf to take a pill .. but you're having sex with him which, by its very nature, always, always presents the possibility of a baby (no birth contol is fool proof). So are you saying you wouldn't trust your bf to father and help raise that baby?
Having sex means he and you each must take responsibility to the potential outcome, and trust and honesty are essential components in that equation.
It's very rarely a happy thing when the "oops" moment comes.
There's a commercial for the patch where the woman says "It's not hard to remember to take the pill every day, it's just so easy to forget." As a guy, I don't trust women to take the pill everyday - I've heard of too many women deciding to get pregnant by "forgeting" to take the pill.
Dry ejaculation? Never heard of it. Sounds dusty. Try explaining that one to the cleaning lady!
I appreciate women taking control of the birth control. Condoms are okay though.
Maybe I'm like most guys, probably forget to take the pill if we had one. Also, I think we like the idea of carrying around a loaded weapon. Makes us feel... dangerous! "Ladies! There's a new gunslinger in town!!" hehe
But, some of us are just more dangerous if we open our mouth and speak. :P
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