Monday, October 01, 2007

What's new?

*Last week's depression has finally lifted and I think it is safe to say that it is NOT the pills that were making me mental. I think I was just genuinely down because of the circumstances and writhing in my own self-pity (which is a terribly selfish place to be). That said, this week I feel fine, back to my old, happy, loved up self which is a major relief.

*One of which reasons is probably because I finally have a plan. Finding a job is proving to be impossible because there are no jobs in my field or which I am ideally suited for AND if there are, they pay like 10-12$ and hour which is absolute horseshit. It angers me that employers think they can get away with paying university educated people so little...I mean, what was the point of paying all that money for school then? THAT ASIDE, I have a plan:

There is a program through UBC which deals with the admin side of film. The course is from Jan to April, the classes sounde absolutely wonderful (I don't know if "The Candian Film Finance System" and "Entertainment Law" sound like good classes to you, but for me they are to die for) AND they get you a two-week internship with a production company or whatever and job-search workshops. I am very excited and going to attend the info session next week so I will let you know how that goes, of course.

So my plan is, if I get accepted and I like it, I will either live off of EI (providing I recieve it) and be bored out of my tree or do temp work until Dec when I jet off to Palm Springs for Xmas. If I don't like the school or if I don't get it...well, I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Worst case scenario, I will look into getting a headhunter. And not the scary, tribal version....

*My boyfriend moved out! Yippee! He now has a 2-bedroom flat with his best friend J (the other friend with the bitchy gf bailed) in an awesome part of town (in the city, close to downtown). The place is roomy, clean and I can tell the bf is super excited about it. Plus, being a 12 min drive from my place ain't too shabby either. Speaking of the bf, things are going is our three-month anniversary (yah, yah, it's early, WE KNOW!) and was invited to have Thanksgiving dinner with the family (yeah, in Canada we have it in October for some dumb ass reason) and to go to Maui with them in February. Sweetness.

*I went out for dinner with a good friend of mine. He has this psycho gf, they've been on and off for years and this year made it "committed." Then they ended up moving in together, which I always thought was dangerous but hey what do I know. Except that the woman truly is psycho, I think I am the only female friend of his that she allows (she is bad enough to make him sign on to msn and make him BLOCK women that she thinks he shouldn't talk to). Anyway, things aren't working out, obviously, but I was a bit suprised when he told me today that they had agreed to break up on October 1st. Today being the 1st, it has been pushed back to November but I was still like WTF? You have set a date, together, on which you will break up? Apparently they decided that November 1st they will both move out and break up. Is that not the weirdest thing you have ever heard? Or does this happen more often than I think?

*In the spirit of nostalgia, I was reading some old diaries of mine from high school. I will get along to posting some of them, but I noticed a pattern here.

All of my Ex_boyfriends (except for ONE) have all been mental.

I'm dead serious.

Looking back over the years, I was suddenly reminded of this. I've had ones that accused me of being in love a guy just because of a compliment I made, locked in my parent's old bedroom because he thought I was sleeping with my neighbour (ew, no) just because my neighbour dropped by to say hello. I've been yelled at in public because I went for coffee with a guy friend. Two of them cyber-stalked me in an increasingly obsessive manner. One cheated on me more times than I dare think, broke up with me once because I was being "quiet," one had a creppy fondness for medieval weapons, one never liked me to mix with "his" friends EVER.

Out of the five serious boyfriends I had in the past, only one was/is remotely normal and who I can look back on with...well, really with a sense of "meh" and mediocre goodwill, no hard feelings, he was a good guy, etc, but that's better than one of disgust when you realize how pathetic the person you thought you knew really was.

So the question that I got was, what the hell is it about these guys that I end up being attracted to? I mean, yeah, one or two I kinda knew they were nuts to begin with, but the others I didn't really know UNTIL they became my exes. Is there some kind of hidden mental illness that I sunconciously pick up on and go "oooh this seems like fun?" Cuz it's not fun! I guess you never really know someone until after you break up, but looking back at my high school diaries I can see that in many cases I DID know all this and yet I put up with it. Sigh.

Thankfully my current bf is normal..well, in a sense. He is a bit of silly goof sometimes, more odd than textbook normal perhaps...yet I love the goofy bastard anyway. Besides, I would take funny sillyness over scary mental issues any day. You would have to be VERY silly to put up with a crazy idiot like me ;P


M said...

yay for finding a normal one! Maybe there are just a hell of a lot of psychotic people out there so hard to find the good ones.

one never liked me to mix with "his" friends EVER.

uh oh, were you by any chance the "other" woman without actually knowing about his real gf? I had a friend who found out YEARS later that an ex bf of hers was actually already in a steady relationship with this other woman, and that my friend was the OTHER woman without knowing about it. She never met the friends etc.

Peter DeWolf said...

Those UBC classes sounds awesome to me too.

Wondering Woman said...

I had "odd" boyfriends over several years - all the relationships were "off" in some way but I didn't really catch a pattern. Finally my mom pointed it out to me. My dad was successful in business but not very successful as a father. Apparently I was always picking losers because I wouldn't look at anybody that was even mildly business savvy because I didn't want someone like my dad. Everyone I picked was irresponsible in some way. Couldn't believe I hadn't been able to connect the dots. Once mom pointed it out to me, and also pointed out that my dad had some awfully good traits too, I was able to see through the maze and break the cycle. Sounds simple but for some reason I was blind to what I was doing. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone close to you will be able to give you some real insight.

Wanderlusting said...

M - I think the "other woman" thing definitely did cross my mind but knowing the truth now or stressing over it wouldn't do me much good. I just wouldn't hold it past them, that's all. I know cheating wasn't a foreign concept to them.

What is odd though is that now that I think of it, I had TWO exes that didn't want me to mix with their friends/co-workers/family ever. They also both cyberstalked me, had foreign parents, dressed the same, liked to dance, even OMG physically looked the same! Plus, looking back, I'm pretty sure they were both closet homosexuals. Explains a lot. :)

Peter - Yeah, two peas in a pod are we!

Wondering - I think a lot of people get into patterns. I do know what mine is, I just don't know how I can subconciously pick up on it when it never seems apparent until much later in the relationship.

Luckily, when I went into my current relationship, I was going against type. All the things that normally would have had me looking the other way(no formal education, younger than me, lives at home etc) I decided to ignore. I am so glad I took that chance and went for a guy that was different from all the others :)

almost famous kiwi said...

haha I remember the medieval weapon guy and I remember the day he hacked into your email and I thought he was going to kill me! I've met your ex who thought it was ok to break up with you in Hawaii 4 or 5 times and cheated on you with countless amounts of girls. And I remember the phone calls about the ex who made you feel like you weren't good enough. But your rockstar boyfriend makes it all worth it right! He's so perfect for you and just seeing how happy he makes you makes me sooo happy. It takes a few frogs to get to the prince!

megan said...

I'm glad the silly bastard is working out and can handle your silly ways.

I'm happy the silly came with out the crazy mental.

danzer1986 said...

hey! wow that so sweet u guys look good to gether
yea random post

u really have changed and all grown up since
all the best!

Memphis Steve said...

It sounds as if there are entirely too many mental people up there in Canada. You need to move to Memphis and live near me. The closer the better.

Glad you're feeling better, by the way.

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Sean said...

good luck with your plan!