Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Get Out

"What if there's no more fun to have?
And all I've got is what I had
What if I have forgotten how?
Cut my losses and get out now
GET OUT RIGHT NOW."

AND SO I AM.

Anyway, lots has changed since my last post. Big changes. But all good. Well, "for the best."

On Friday the dad came to my bf with a proposal. I'm not going to get into it here because the proposal was so stupid that it would provoke a lot of "What an ass!" comments and despite these public airings of my situation, I don't want to get into a hate-on here. Because despite the fact that his parents are acting very unfairly towards me, now more than ever, they are still his parents.

But anyway, basically a proposal was put forth, and it was insulting and patronizing enough for me to go " HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PEOPLE?!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE!"

Yet, how can I get out when I don't have a job or any money?

And in a fit of strangely rational rage, I decided to move in with my parents. March 1st. Alone. My boyfriend can stay behind with his parents. That's his problem now.

I sacrificed a lot by moving in there. I didn't want to. But I did it for him because he believed his parents when they said that by moving in with them, they would help us buy a place.

That never happened. I don't know why they said that to begin with. But it brought us there and now I've decided I've had enough. They are his parents, not mine. I have my own parents and they come with their own set of problems and it's TOO MUCH for me to deal with all four of them. Plus my bf.

So, as much as living with my parents is Hell, better the Devil you know, as my friend said.

I will move into my parents until May or earlier. And then move back into my apartment downtown. I'll still put it up for sale but DAMN IT I forget that I OWN AN APARTMENT! IT'S MINE! I STILL PAY THE MORTGAGE.

I kept feeling like I had nowhere to go but I DO. And yes, it's small and has problems but it's mine and I miss it oh so much.

So, my tenants will be out by May and I'll be in. And hopefully my bf will be able to come with me. I might need a few weeks to myself at first, I don't know. But the plan is that we'll just move back in together.

It seems like a failure to go back to where I started. But I guess even if it's a long roundabout way to get you where you need to go, all that matters in the end is that you get there.

******

I also had my meeting with the clairvoyant lady the other day and it was fabulous. Amazing. I know what to do now and it's slowly coming along. First step...get a new editor for my book!! Second step: Speak my mind and lose the shame in talking!! Third step: Find my heart and find a safe AND supportive place to create (ie my parent's house)!


*****
I have a job interview on Monday. It's back in the film industry and combines my writing skills (even screenwriting) and I think I would be really good at it. Here's hoping!!!



******
Having fun making friends on the Faith No More forums and blogs. Love that a lot of them thought I was a guy :P A short, greasy-haired moustached man LOL. Like this guy (you'd think they woulda clued in that THIS IS NOT ME):



HOWEVER, this is exactly how I have been feeling lately, so it's fitting.



*****
You know what are some really awesome birds? The cheeky Kea parrots in New Zealand. Here are some pics of these beautiful little buggers:










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BTW I'm using Twitter more these days...to hear my inane comments on everything, follow me at WanderlustingKH and I'll do the same. i LOVE having readers to follow!

13 comments:

blinder said...

Cheeky Keas. One stole my lunch last winter when we were skiing. Opening a clip-on lid plastic container, left the food-wrap and ate the sandwich - Bugger! A person in car nearby saw the whole thing and told me about it.

Very very smart birds!!! check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRW4ztbY8Ok

blinder said...

and regarding the "in-laws". You and bf are making your own life with its own unique way of solving issues etc - very difficult to establish these things when bf will slip into the "son" role with the "in-laws" unique ways etc.

Good luck with the next few months.

My friends in Vancouver say that there isn't much snow and temperature still quite a bit higher than normal - Wonder how Winter Olympics will get on?

Wanderlusting said...

Blinder! Re: " very difficult to establish these things when bf will slip into the "son" role with the "in-laws" unique ways etc."

EXACTLY what the woman said to me!

daisychain said...

"It seems like a failure to go back to where I started. But I guess even if it's a long roundabout way to get you where you need to go, all that matters in the end is that you get there."

This is SO true. Never let go of that thought.

xx

Underfunded Heiress said...

Just remember that not everything works out as plans. It's just a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. Don't get down. Just look at living with your parents as a time to reevaluate and regroup.

myedit said...

I quit my job two-ish years ago to get out of landscaping and figure out my shit. Fast forward 1 year, I'm basically landscaping full time again. It's hard to explain to people but it feels alright. I'm sure you'll figure it out, at least now you've got a plan...
And about your comment about the other 'wanderlusting', yeah, that confused me for a second too.

Glitter Scrubs said...

Brave move! I think some of your best posts came from when you were living in Van. I was talking to someone the other day about how when I move out and have a 'big girl job' (lol) that I'm going to need a whole room to myself or maybe just move into an apt myself for a bit. Sometimes I scare myself with how much I love to be alone lol. But I guess it saves me from going insane. Either that or I never got the sharing memo in kindergarten..

Fashion Court said...

it might seem like a tough thing now, but i think your move is really for the best. how can you live in a place with that type of energy?

loving to write myself, i know that it isn't good for your soul/creativity either!

you're doing something for YOU.. which you should do. you need to make yourself happy. good luck darling! xo

Karinaxoxo said...

everything happens for a reason. just do what is best for u

Kristin said...

I think you are making an incredibly empowering move. Way to be lady!

Couture Carrie said...

Good luck with everything, darling!

I totally empathize with the move - have had to do the same thing...

Fun pics!

xoxox,
CC

Vegas Princess said...

I am glad you are getting out of a bad situation, even if it feels like you may be going backwards. But I don't think of it as you going backwards rather you realizing where you are is not going to work. And that is empowering. I am working on my own way out. Hopefully I will get there soon.

P.S. I have the same problems of a husband vs. his mother. They turn into the son and forget to be the significant other. Infuriating!

AsianCajuns (Cath) said...

Don't get down about having to move in with your parents. Almost everyone is doing that now b/c the economy is in the pits. Just focus on the good - no rent and bf parents!