"What if there's no more fun to have?
And all I've got is what I had
What if I have forgotten how?
Cut my losses and get out now
GET OUT RIGHT NOW."
AND SO I AM.
Anyway, lots has changed since my last post. Big changes. But all good. Well, "for the best."
On Friday the dad came to my bf with a proposal. I'm not going to get into it here because the proposal was so stupid that it would provoke a lot of "What an ass!" comments and despite these public airings of my situation, I don't want to get into a hate-on here. Because despite the fact that his parents are acting very unfairly towards me, now more than ever, they are still his parents.
But anyway, basically a proposal was put forth, and it was insulting and patronizing enough for me to go " HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PEOPLE?!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE!"
Yet, how can I get out when I don't have a job or any money?
And in a fit of strangely rational rage, I decided to move in with my parents. March 1st. Alone. My boyfriend can stay behind with his parents. That's his problem now.
I sacrificed a lot by moving in there. I didn't want to. But I did it for him because he believed his parents when they said that by moving in with them, they would help us buy a place.
That never happened. I don't know why they said that to begin with. But it brought us there and now I've decided I've had enough. They are his parents, not mine. I have my own parents and they come with their own set of problems and it's TOO MUCH for me to deal with all four of them. Plus my bf.
So, as much as living with my parents is Hell, better the Devil you know, as my friend said.
I will move into my parents until May or earlier. And then move back into my apartment downtown. I'll still put it up for sale but DAMN IT I forget that I OWN AN APARTMENT! IT'S MINE! I STILL PAY THE MORTGAGE.
I kept feeling like I had nowhere to go but I DO. And yes, it's small and has problems but it's mine and I miss it oh so much.
So, my tenants will be out by May and I'll be in. And hopefully my bf will be able to come with me. I might need a few weeks to myself at first, I don't know. But the plan is that we'll just move back in together.
It seems like a failure to go back to where I started. But I guess even if it's a long roundabout way to get you where you need to go, all that matters in the end is that you get there.
I also had my meeting with the clairvoyant lady the other day and it was fabulous. Amazing. I know what to do now and it's slowly coming along. First step...get a new editor for my book!! Second step: Speak my mind and lose the shame in talking!! Third step: Find my heart and find a safe AND supportive place to create (ie my parent's house)!
I have a job interview on Monday. It's back in the film industry and combines my writing skills (even screenwriting) and I think I would be really good at it. Here's hoping!!!
Having fun making friends on the Faith No More forums and blogs. Love that a lot of them thought I was a guy :P A short, greasy-haired moustached man LOL. Like this guy (you'd think they woulda clued in that THIS IS NOT ME):
HOWEVER, this is exactly how I have been feeling lately, so it's fitting.
You know what are some really awesome birds? The cheeky Kea parrots in New Zealand. Here are some pics of these beautiful little buggers:
BTW I'm using Twitter more these days...to hear my inane comments on everything, follow me at WanderlustingKH and I'll do the same. i LOVE having readers to follow!