Anyhoo, let's set up the scene, shall we?
My boyfriend has a very close knit group of guy friends that he has known since elementary school. These guys are close...very close...so it's a bit intimidating to try and win the approval of them. My last bf had no friends (in this country) and the friends he did have (his work colleagues) I was not allowed to mingle with.
My Rockstar wants me to mingle with his friends and make them my friends.
Well, we've been together nearly 8 months now and I know I have made a good impression on them. It helps that my bf has never, ever complained about me to them - even though all they do is complain about their gfs to him. Constantly.
And for the most part, I do like his friends. There is one of them I am not too sure about but to be fair, my bf isn't that close with him either - friend by history, if you know what I mean.
Anyhoo, the point is that all these guys have girlfriends and over the last 8 months I have tried to get to know them better...bonding and all that shit.
In November I orchestrated a girls trip to Whistler for the 5 of them plus my bf's lovely sister. It was a lot of fun and I mainly did it because I knew that the girls always complained when the guys had guys nights and trips so I thought it would be nice for them.
Then in December I had a girls clothing swap. Though most didnt show up, the idea was to bring all the makeup, jewlery, clothes, shoes that you didnt want and trade with the others for stuff you do want. It was a success, and the clothes we had left over we donated to charity. But I mainly did that because I wanted another "bonding" experience plus one girl, Mik (not her real name ;P), had complained before that she never has any nice clothes. I had a lot of nice clothes so I thought it would be a nice thing to do...anyway, she didn't show. Whatever.
Then in January I planned for another girl's night. I had about 10 girls coming over to mine before for drinks, then we would hit the bar. Mik decided to make reservations at this Irish bar that I wasn't too fond of but we all agreed, especially when we found out that we could get on the VIP list and not stand in line or pay cover. A bonus, because we all were broke.
So the night comes. My friend's Robyn and K came over. But the rest of the girls were MIA. Finally I heard from them...they were late and heading straight to the bar. There were only three of them too...Mik, the Swede and Red. I didn't question what happened to everyone else, so we decided to head over.
In the cab, on the way there, Mik calls me. She wants to go to this horrible bar around the corner instead. She says there will be more people there and it will be more fun...more guys and the like. It's also the same bar that she used to frequent when she was single and trolled for hockey players...from what she's said, she's hooked up with a lot of them...especially the married ones. Let's ignore the fact that she is almost engaged here, and that she's a judgemental holier-than-thou Christian who looks down on ME for getting drunk once in a while.
So, she wants to go to this bar for whatever reason and wants to pay the $12 cover. I tell her, on behalf of Robyn, K and another girl, E, that we are meeting at the original bar, that we can't afford to pay cover and why not stick to the original plan for now. She didn't sound too happy about that.
We get to the Irish bar and I can SEE she doesn't look too happy about it. I give her a hug anyway, but she barely smiles. She's wearing what can only be described as a long shirt - again, it's a bit ironic that she hates it when her bf/fiance goes out to clubs because she thinks HE is looking for girls. And when SHE goes out, she wears something like that.
Anyhoo, we go inside the bar and it's packed! It's hockey night and there is barely anywhere to sit but we manage to score a table and few chairs. If she was worried that it would be lame, with no one here, she was wrong.
She looks around. Whispers something to the Swede, grabs Red's arm and says, "We are just going to check our coats."
Half an hour later, Robyn, K, E and I have a feeling they aren't coming back. Then I get a text from her, "Decided to go to the Roxy, maybe see you later."
They didn't come back to say goodbye. They just left. They lied to us.
It's obvious now that when I planned this girls night, we had different ideas. She just wanted to go out with "her" friends (the other gfs). She didn't care about me. She suggested the damn bar and then changes her mind at the last minute for no reason.
I texted her back, sick of this crap and said "You didn't even come back to say bye? This was YOUR idea to come to this bar, I planned a girls night so that we could all hang out TOGETHER and instead you just ditch us?"
No response. Luckily the rest of us were still able to dance the night away and have fun but we were still angry as hell.
I started texting my bf and all he can say is that Mik is a bitch, the Swede is her personal cheerleader but that he was disappointed in Red. Red is not at all like those preppy bitches, she is more like me. He couldn't believe that she would go along with them. But she did.
Later on I found out that the only reason that Red did was because it was her bf that was picking the three of them up. And her bf knew about the situation ahead of time thanks to my bf filling him in on my texts.
So when he picks them up, he asks the girls..."So, why did you guys even agree to go? Do you even like Lusty?"
Red said, "I do!"
Mik said, "No. We don't get along."
WE DON'T GET ALONG????
This is news to me people. I have been nothing but nice to that girl. Buying her lame ass Facebook gifts when she feels sad. Planning a girls swap so that she would have something nice to wear. Creating these girls nights so she doesnt feel so lame when her bf/fiance goes out with his friends. Keeping her company when her bf and my bf are off doing their thing. Hell, when I got drunk in front of her back in November (see my "Sobriety" post) SHE was the reason I haven't gotten drunk since! I felt her judging me...HELL I was SOBER on Halloween because I was too afraid to get drunk lest she would look down on me again. I COULD HAVE BEEN WASTED!!!
So yeah. We don't get along. She doesn't like me DESPITE the fact that I have heard NOTHING BUT HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT HER and yet always still gave her the benefit of the doubt.
My boyfriend is really upset about this revelation. Her bf is his best friend, M. Every single one of M's friends hate Mik...with a passion. My bf is the ONLY friend of his who is actually really nice to her and who never says a bad thing about her, even when M is going off about her. The worst he has ever said is "Mik is being unreasonable" when, like, she broke into his msn account, found a picture of a chick that a guy friend was dating (he sent he pic to show M what she looked like) and then accused her bf of cheating. And when I say accused, I mean attacked.
So it's ironic that of all the girlfriends, I AM the only one she doesn't like. What's worse is that we can't figure out why she doesn't like me. It could be because I drink and she doesn't. It could be because I call myself a Christian and she doesn't think I should. It could be because she's jealous of me. It could be because I (according to my bf) have a dominant personality. It could be because everyone likes me...and no one likes her.
Which makes me think back to a few weeks ago....I went to bed early on a Saturday night. The guys were having a guy's night and I had to get up early for school. My phone was on silent so I didn't hear it ring at 330AM. The next day I saw I had a missed call from a long distance number.
I googled the number and traced it to Mik's parents house on Vancouver Island. I knew she was on the island because that's the only reason her bf was able to attend guy's night.
Why would she, someone who I am not close with and who doesn't like me, call me from her parent's house at 330 AM on Sunday morning?
Turns out she was harassing her bf all night and checking up on him. He finally told her to stop calling him, turned off his phone. She I guess assumed that I would be with my bf and he would be with hers so she called me to check up on her bf/fiance and find out what he was up to.
This is just something my bf and I have deduced but holy crap. What a psycho. I could go on and on too about this girl. I'm just amazed that someone like THAT would have such a problem with lil ol' me.
I guess I should mention that she did send me an apology over Facebook...which seemed so insincere..."I hope you can forgive me and we can move on." You know, I would have but now that I know she doesn't like me....tough cookies. It means nothing to me.
Red apologized too and I ended up speaking to her face to face on Friday night. She felt really bad and it turns out she doesn't even like the other girls all that much since she feels she cant be herself around them and that she wants to get to know me better since we are more alike. I knew she was sincere and we have plans for a girls night, just us two, next weekend.
So that is that. Girls are bitches. I know that you are always going to have people that don't like you in your life, no matter what you do, it just pisses me off that I often go out of my way to get to know people and make them feel good and in the end they just hate me anyway. I don't know why I have always been a target for bitchy girls, I get it every day...and it seems to get worse as I get older, I have no clue why.
In other news, things have been running smoothly. School is hardcore intense but I still love it. I've been up to some top secret stuff that could change my life forever but until it happens, I am not going to mention it on this blog....I don't think any of you would take me seriously.
Dad has agreed that we need to sell the apartment and we will start doing that in May/June.
My wonderful bf spent three hours trying to fix my toilet and in the end, succeeded (with the help of a neighbour). Even though my bf is so not a manly man, it was really honorable that he was determined to fix things and watching him with his tool kit was definitely a turn-on :P
I just found rasberry-filled Tim Tams and Worcester-flavoured Walker's chips at a gourmet cancy store.
Lost has been blowing my mind. I can't believe how good it is again.
I just got a Brazilian wax today, my first professional one (yes I have done it myself). It was comparable to going spread eagle to the gynocologist, but instead of a spatula they pour hot wax in your hoo-haa and ass-haa and then rip it off. I was kinda embarassed at first, it's really such an odd experience, but the pain was temporary and by the time I left the salon it was just a memory. I'm super happy with the results and can't wait to wear my Brazilian cut bikini to....
...HAWAII NEXT WEEK!
Yup, next tuesday the man and I are flying to Maui and spending a week with his parents. They are paying for everything and I can't wait. It doesn't even seem real and it's been SO long since I've been to the islands. Arrrrrg, we both need this vacation like you wouldn't believe!
17 comments:
Wow, so many things to respond to, where do i start?
the girl: it definitely sounds to me like she's jealous because you're super pretty AND all the boys like you. girls hate that. i really wish i could live in vancouver or maybe you could live in europe because i know for sure that i would like you. a lot :)
the 'down there' wax: i am scared to do that in a shop. i do it all the time to myself, and i just can't face the whole experience. maybe i should just go and get it over with.
facebooking: i randomly looked you up on facebook but realised that all i knew was your first name. that didn't work out so well!
hawaii: that sounds amazing! i've been shopping for bikinis for our honeymoon to greece and i am already fareekin excited. i bought a pair of pink aviator glasses already - 5 months in advance.
i think that's it for now :)
I'm sorry to hear about that stint with that girl. It drives me crazy that people are allowed to live until adulthood thinking it's ALRIGHT to treat other people like that. You went ALL OUT for this person. I understand that sometimes people just don't like other people but there's no need to jerk people around about it, and especially when the person you're treating like that invited you into her own home. Sorry that you went through it.
As an aside, it also drives me crazy that these women get the men, and girls like me get either the leftovers or nothing at all. People shouldn't be rewarded for treating others like shit. Grr!
You really pulled out the stops for these girls, I think I would have stopped at one or two of these planned endeavors and said to hell with it. Good on you for making the effort, even though that Mik girl threw it in your face.
At least, on the bright side, the turnout has allowed you the opportunity to get to know Red better, and she may well become a very valued friend. I mean, I can't say I know you at all, and *I* recognize the effort and the care you put in to at least reach out to these people, whether they take the offer or not, and the integrity of character it takes to make that much of an effort. If I saw that effort, *I* personally would be grateful to have the friendship of someone like you. Don't worry about the 'other' types , I hope it didn't get you down. ;-)
As an another aside, even though I'm scared of Brazillian waxes, I saw an ad at the Cellar once for a laser Brazillian (they were offering a couples' package, oh my) that I remember being interested in. Just a shot in the dark, but have you seen any ads like that for a laser brazilian and know the name of the place? I can't remember the name of the place, and have some certain businesses that need to be attended to in the brain-splittingly-painful-grooming department when I go back to Vancouver.
PS: Enjoy Hawaii!
I am so jealous! (because you're going to Hawaii, not because of the the Brazilian...)
Arg I despise Mik!!!!! You know this already! OOOh and the Swede has latched onto her now? Gawd the sad thing is that it doesn't suprise me. Next thing I know she'll be putting the pressure on her bf (whom I am very close to as you well know) to get engaged. Can you imagine? Arg I digress. Anywhoo Mik is a bitch and I am not too sure who Red is but if it is who I think it is I am pleasantly suprised by her behavior. Hang in there! I'll be back in a few months and we can kick some snotty princess ass!
I had a whole long comment thought out until I read the line about Hawaii and jealousy floaded my mind in a thick green haze. You are so damn lucky! :) Since my previous very thoughtful comment is not obliterated I will only say Mik is a bitch.
I think you're one of the few people that can write a post that long and still keep my attention!
I can't believe you've done a Brazilian yourself!
Thanks for the supportive post, I've definitely hit a rough patch but I'm not going to let it get me down.
Girls are bitches, I have many more guy friends than girls, mostly because I like to keep my life drama-free. It sounds like Red might be worth keeping around though, as long as she has the spine to stick up to the others.
Have fun in Hawaii! Hooray!
Women ARE bitches. Good thing she doesn't like you tho, you wouldn't want a psycho like that as a friend.
Dude.
That is so not cool. Yes, girls can be bitchy, and in my experience it's largely fueled by insecurity. And insecure people are afraid of most everything that could remotely threaten their fragile sense of themselves. I mean, all those little manuvers (changing the location of the meetup, dressing inappropriately, picking a more hookup oriented bar) are all cues that this person is desperate to feel in control of the situation.
You are pretty for sure, but also confident and secure. You seem to approach life with open mind, heart and a keen sense of joy. Unfortunately that's perceived as a threat. So yeah, those girls may have behaved badly, but mostly I just feel pity for them. They're such low energy peeps, it's not even worth hatin on them.
Seriously, I would give my eyeteeth (as grandma used to say) to have an awesome female friend like you down her to hang out with - that organizes schweet girl social events etc...which is so much more important than getting attention for boys.
Best thing to do is keep doing you - and as my favorite Canadian once wrote "don't let the bastards grind you down."
Enjoy Hawaii and your teeni bikini - I love VS suits - and you're inspiring me to get my butt (literally) in gear for summer!!
Love your blog and love (love, and also love) the adorable red / black / steely silver dress that you are wearing in the dancing pic. Please, do tell of its origins and, further, please say that it's a recent Forever 21 acquisition (or something similarly not-expensive)?! :)
Keep up the good work! You are a kick.
Gosh, I could write a near d@mn book with all the 'girls are bitches' stories I have, so I really sympathise. Like you, I sometimes just wonder why the hell they do it!!!
I am sure you will have a blast in Hawaii...lucky lucky you!
um, excuse me....tim tams!!!!! Where? WHEEEEEEERRRREEEEEE?
The cliff notes version of all the thoughts that are trying to escape through my fingers :
She's a jealous bitch, you rock, 'nuff said.
I don't think I could EVER get a brazilian wax....though the husband would definitely be impressed.
Lucky lucky girl, heading off to Hawaii! Maybe since I'm so jealous of you, I'll head off to do some good ol' fashioned trash talkin' a la Mik. ;)
Ok, Mik is just jealous and she is trying to make the swede and red turn against you for a power in numbers thing.
The exact same thing is happening with one of my 'friends' - the more boring her life becomes, the more jealous she becomes of mine. The funny thing is, is that all of our mutual friends have noticed it too - so she is the one who looks like a fool. Mik will get what is coming and realise that people were aware of her bullshit pettiness!
Keep an eye out for the wax that peels off (like what they use in salons for brazillians!). Once you get the hang of using that on yourself you'll save heaps of $$$ doing it yourself with a professional finish =)
Have fun in Hawaii. I just booked my trip to Vanuatu (pacific islands) in Sept woot!!!
This is my first time reading your blog but I love love loooove it!! There are girls like that all around me so I totally feel you. Sigh.
Anyway, just stopping by to say hello and nice to meet you :)
I know how you feel about having bitchy girls around... it's useless. They're going to be that way no matter what you do. Believe me, I've had plenty.
We're alike in the fact that we both turn inward before blaming the other person... find out what you could be doing wrong before realizing that they're just a bitch anyway.
I had a roommate like that, I did everything to help her out - she needed a bed and didn't really have a credit card/good credit to buy it on - so I loaned her the money (and she rightfully paid me back in time) because I knew she needed it. That's just one example of the MANY kind things I did for her... and one day... she just got pissed at me for whatever reason and called me selfish.
When I explained to her "how could I be selfish when I've done all these things for her" she complained that I was holding those things I loaned her over her head.
Wow.
Yah - so you're DEFINITELY not alone. Fast forward a year or so... her best friend at the time doesn't even talk to her anymore because she was so rude.
Moral of that long story... karma will come back to her - you might not hear about it until years later, but when you do - it'll be nice to hear!!!
Hope you're doing well other than the bitches. Hawaii is SO awesome - my best friend just moved to Honolulu with her husband... lovely!
I think it's great that you planned all those events with the gf's. Sounds awesome to me. They're just superficial and can't appreciate the real deal when they see it. Hell, it's obvious they couldn't tell salmon filet from tuna in the can. Not your fault.
Ugh, that really sucks that that girl Mik is so judgemental! I have someone at work who used to be a good friend of mine, I have been nothing but NICE to her (everyone else HATES her) and she ends up not being my friend anymore cause I hooked up with her friend (when she's the one who hooked us up in the first place!!!). It's retarded...but you end up knowing what someone is like.
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