Thursday, September 13, 2007

To Hairdressers Everywhere...

I am going to get a haircut tommorow. I desperately need a trim (and when I say trim, I mean it, take off as little hair as you can, don't whack off three inches because I "needed it") but I keep putting it off for one reason: everytime I go to the hairdresser, I get a lecture.

It doesn't matter which hairdresser I go to, whether they are students or well-known, first visit or billionth. I keep getting the same lecture.

So please, Kristin, I hear great things about you and what you can do with hair. I want a trim, and I'm going to say half an inch because I know you will double it. I want my bangs trimmed, if you think I can pull off shorter, go for it, but ONLY if you think it will look good. And I want some long layers. Nothing choppy.

I also implore you to please refrain from telling me the following because I already know it:

"You have very dry hair"

"Being blonde is quite damaging"

"Have you always been blonde?"

"How about letting your natural color (dirty blonde) grow out and getting blonde highlights?"

"Your hair is breaking at the back. Do you wear a ponytail?"

"Promise me you'll never wear your hair in a ponytail again"

"It's so damaged. I don't know what I'm going to do with it"

"See this! It's breaking off here!"

"Do you blowdry or flatiron?"

"Never blowdry or flatiron your hair again"

"Your hair is so dry, it's hard to comb"

"Do you want to try our $100 deep conditioning treatment?"

And so on.

The thing is, I end up sitting there and either defending me and my hair ("Actually, I only blowdry once every few days, I always let it airdry first, I use moisturizing shampoos, when I dye my hair I ONLY do the roots, I wash my hair every other day, I try to not wear it in a ponytail, I have been other hair colors and it just wasnt me, I was born with this hair color damnit!) OR I just sit there and meekly apologize.

After all of that you would think I have the worlds worst hair. I don't. I sometimes get compliments on it. Yes, it is fine as shit and greasy at times and is often too flat. But it's manageable, it's very soft and it's very shiny. GIVE ME A BREAK!

So, you can see why I avoid the hairdressers like the plague. Hopefully Kristin will stumble across my blog before she does my hair and I won't have to lecture HER on not lecturing me.

BTW - for those who care (Simon), I have updated my other blog (see sidebar) with my review of my hotel in Rome. Ciao!


fear.of.landing said...

I get the same thing, only they go on about how thin my hair is. They even call over co-workers to comment on how thin it is. I used to get my hair done for an ego boost, now it is such a beating that I put it off way longer than I should.

Peter DeWolf said...

Ponytails are bad??

But, they are ever so cute.

This sucks.

lenfercestlesautres said...

Sounds like we have the same hair. I gave up going to the hairdresser, I let my mom trim it instead.

Sean said...

my problem with hairdressers/barbers is that so many of them can't just do their job and not talk to me. the silence kills them. my one word answers aren't enough of a hint that i'd like to just turn my brain off, sink back into the seat and go into a stupor. or check out the really, really cute receptionist. so after they try to talk to me about my bike, the weather, work, plans for the weekend, etc they finally just start commenting on my hair, eyebrows and beard. and eventually those end up being about a hair's breadth away from being insults.

Have the T-Shirt said...

I hear how my hair is 'too long'. Does she not have the balls to say that I'm too old for long hair, cause how can hair be 'too long'?

Is it so long it's damaged? No, she says, it's just too long.

I just tell her that her tip will be in direct proportion to how closely she stayed within my 1/2-1" trim request.

I wonder if some hairdressers aren't just control freaks?

M said...

I think your hair colour is great!

The Stormin Mormon said...

I'm with Pete. Ponytails are cute.

As for the hairdresser, I guess I have to say that i love being a guy more and more every day. I get a compliment that I condition my hair, and I like it short. :-)

Vegas Princess said...

I am going to get this lecture myself next week. Especially the ponytail part...

I wish I could cut my own hair.

Karinaxoxo said...

I recently found a hair dresser who I adore!!! I met her at a club one night and it turns out we both go their most friday nights...sooo I make my appt for 8am Saturday morning, because I know she can do just a good of a job hungover, but also know we don't have to sit through all that bullshit talk (the only thing said is that we are both, vaguly, remember bumping into each other in the bathroom last night and then proceeded to do a shot or two together!)
We leave our gossipy catch up's for when I come in on a Friday/Saturday afternoons to get her to style my hair for a spec occasion!

Farfallina said...

I once had hair down to my waist and asked for them to cut it shoulder lenght, but they cut it far shorter than that... about 3 inches long!!

It looked cute, but it's NOT what I wanted and it took me years to grow it down again :(

surfercam said...

Don't forget to post the new 'do'.

simon said...

YES i do read the other blog and other people should too because its full of great ideas and advice!

Princess Extraordinaire said...

It's always so lovely when they look you in the face via the mirror and hold up your hair and ask...well what are we going to do with THIS?

Alain Saffel said...

Hmmm.... hair. Would be nice to have it, but it's just as nice not to. :)

Hey, I hadn't noticed anything on how your job search was going. Going good?

If you don't mind, I'll post a link to a job search page I made that is kind of geared to writing & journalism jobs. I've found it useful to gather the links all in one place and it includes the major job search sites too.

If you have any suggestions for changes/additions, please, pass them along.

Hope it helps and good luck! :)

Kass said...

I get the same shit everytime I get a haircut, it's fucken annoying. Most of the time the hairdresser thats bitching has worse hair than me, so WTF HAIRDRESSER BITCH!?!?

Oh, and Hi!