Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Bitter Blonde Ale

I woke up on Sunday morning horribly hungover and in a resolute state of mind. My Sunday 845AM class was cancelled which was brilliant and allowed me to sleep in and snuggle with the Rockstar. We had been up till 430 AM, grabbing last minute food after his show at a local lounge - the first time I have been able to drink a lot and stay up late on a Saturday in months.

Anyhoo, due to my debauchary and my tendency to buy everyone shots when I'm drinking, I can't say I was very sober near the end. But I was bitter. Oh yes.

While munching (no, devouring) a late-night club sandwhich and sipping a caeser (yeah, not so wise at 3AM), I went on what must have been an hour long rant about life. Feeling bitter because of people my age who are successful while I'm not, complaining about my lack of funds (note: would have a lot more money if I didn't buy people shots) and bitching about Mik (remember her? Well she was at the show and completely SNUBBED me. I was totally expecting an in-your-face apology from her since she seemed so "sorry" about it on Facebook but she just ignored me, that stupid cunt). Anyway, my poor but wonderfully patient bf had to listen to all of it and then gave me his advice (which is always right).

I don't remember what his advice is though, maybe it coincides with the following, but I woke up on Sunday morning thinking: Why the hell am I so bitter all the time?

And thus I have started to shuck the bitterness aside and start being happy. Be happy FOR people, stop comparing myself and my journey to everyone elses and concentrate on how I can appreciate what I have, right here, right now.

OK, easier said than done, but it's a start. Plus I read a review about an interesting book, Complaint Free World, the 21-day challenge by Will Bowen. Basically you wear a purple bracelet for 21-days and every time you complain, you move your bracelet to the other wrist and start all over again.

Ugh. Don't think I could make it, but I think the point - replacing negative thoughts with positive ones - is a great thing.

See? I'm on a roll already :)


Kass said...

I dont get it. You just move the bracelet from one wrist to another? WTF? lol

Anything that involves no complaining, I would fail at. I am such a whinger.

WiscoBlonde said...

I'm a huge whiner, there's no way I could make it. I think it would be a great exercise to make me realize how often I am negative though.

arbyn said...

hey you're all about the self-help books hey?

maybe you should write one, once you figure out How Not to be Bitter and Make Cunts Be Nice to you.

Or something. I would do some work on the title (current one sucks)

Len said...

That purple bracelet thing sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'm gonna try it out! :)

cathy said...

Stop thinking about other people you have done alot and had many travels teaching English as a second language etc.. I know when you feel down that is all you can think of and alcohol doesn't help. You are VERY successful.You have done alot more then most people especially me. I admire you alot so CHIN UP

Tawcan said...

Just wear two bracelets! Hehe. :D

( . )( . ) said...

Ooooh that purple bracelet thing would just fuck me right up!!! You should hear me at the gym with my trainer, man the poor guy just cops all my whinging and complaining, 'i cant do it' 'the weights too heavy' 'its not heavy enough' 'its the wrong angle' 'i dont understand' 'why arent we training triceps' 'ihate training chest' OMG i just cant shut the fuck up.

You dont seem bitter to me. Everyone gets a bit of the green eyed monster every now and then, its different to want what people have, then to actually dislike them for what they have. You seem pretty cool to me!

Wanderlusting said...

Kass - It's supposed to build awareness...or cause ADD, I'm not sure.

Wisco - I'm still a huge whiner, I'm just more conscious of it...I think it;s a looong road.

Arbyn - LOL! How can I write a self-help book when mySELF needs the most HELP!?

Len - lemme know how it works out!

Cathy - I guess I could be "sucessful" to some but to my own personal goals in life? I haven't even come CLOSE to any of them.

Tawcan - :)

B00BS - I'm really bitter in my head. I think I just generally have a problem with life being so unfair...not understanding why some people who don't deserve things get them, while others who do deserve things do. But it may come down to something my boyfriend said awhile ago:

No one deserves anything, nothing is owed to them. You just should be happy and grateful for every little thing that you've got.

Odette said...

Hey you I feel your pain in SUCH a big way about the successful people our age. I am in a big way in that same boat. The mik situation oh amn all I have to say is just you wait till I get home we'll get 'er done.

Arg if you ever need to talk about all that stuff my Facebook inbox is open to you.. so is my skype account... we're in this together!

You sound like you're on the right track though!

Rachel said...

good on ya, it takes a lot of energy changing your perspective, but it is so worth it!! :)