Monday, April 02, 2007

Little known love tests

It has come to my attention that there are at least three succinct ways of telling how much a man loves and/or adores you.

1) He buys you Tampons/Pads

This is usually the first indicator in a relationship of how comfortable you are around each other. Maybe in the third month or so, this situation will come up, and if he is willing to go and purchase these items with little or no hesitation, you know you have a keeper.

That said, I don't know many men who have refused to do this...they probably don't like it (although, come on, it's obviously not for THEM) but will still quietly do this potentially embarrassing favour.

2) He buys you Yeast-infection Medicine.

Depending on how long you are together, this is also one of those things that will come up sooner or later. If he is willing to run to the drugstore to pick up a tube of Monistat 7, Douche-related items or anything else that would make you yourself get red-faced over, then it's a sign that this guy is in love with you. And you would hope it would be love, because once you get on the topic of yeast infections, I think all "romantic and mysterious" ideas about you will be tossed out the window.

It's a bonus too, if you don't actually ask him to do this but he offers.

3) He buys you Hemmroid medication.

This is a tricky one because unlike the first two, this medication could be for him. It gets even more tricky when he has to pick up an embarrassingly named brand (Anusol, anyone?) and even more embarrassing when he might have to ask the pharmacist questions.

"It's, uh, for my girlfriend"

"Sure it is"

I think if you find a man who will willingly - and without complaints - do any of the above (and especially all three) you have a real keeper. This man not only adores and loves you but will stick by you through all of life's embarrassing problems. Cause, honestly, what could be mortifying than discussing "hemroids" with a loved one?

What are your "Little Love Tests?" Surviving a night of dual food-poisoning (ala Charlotte and Harry in SATC)? Willingly subjecting himself to an evening of bonding with your hard-nosed father (ala Ross and Mr. Green in Friends)? Or even allowing himself to be dragged to a showing of The Vagina Monologues?

Thanks to all who tuned into BlogTalkRadio and caught my interview with Wombat and Eileen. If you missed it, click here to have a listen. I haven't done this yet though because I can't stand to hear my own voice but I encourage you all to.

Though for the record, I do have some wonderbras (VS makes the best) but I only wear them on "special" occasions and apparently I made up the answer "Stirrups" because I genuinely thought that's what he was asking me. Stirrups or Suspenders? Hell, anything but suspenders.
Unless ,Wombat, you meant "Stay-up" stockings or garter belts (suspenders) and then my answer would have been...hell, that's a tough choice. I'm still gonna go with stirrups.

And I only had one Caeser (the drink).

And please, Kamloops people, refrain from sending me hate mail.

And I will post my pic of my now infamous leap tomorrow.


Kass said...

Stirrups! LOL!

Eileen Dover said...

Oh geez. Any man is a keeper in my book if he can handle going out on a date with me if I'm doing Jaeger shots.

And then take me to church the next morning.

That's always claaaaaaaaaassic.

I have to admit I laughed at 'stirrups'. I was envisioning those nasty 80s pants with the fluffy push-down socks... or the gyno's office.

Karinaxoxo said...

awww how cute are u!!!
Stirrups... hehehe.

Wanderlusting said...


I totally thought he said stirrups! I thought it was like a question about 80's fashion.

And I used to horseback ride! Stirrups are important! For riding...stuff...

The Stormin Mormon said...

I can say that I have only had to buy Tampons before, and that purchase was easy. I threw them in with my rare large grocery trip (like a full cart with $400 worth of stuff) and I bet the clerk didn't even notice them.

Todd said...

Stirrups huh? Sounds like a party to me!

The tampon thing can get guys in trouble. There's a lot of different kinds on the shelf and if we buy the wrong one somehow we've offended you. Who knew shoving cotten up your hooha was so personal?

Indiana said...

We all love those stockings and suspender belts...but Stirrups...for riding stuff...LOL

M said...

sticky things for your boobs? rofl. I am going to give those a miss.

Stirrups! omg I almost wet my pants from laughing!

surfercam said...

Wow you have got him VERY well trained.
A mate of mine yelled out to me in a supermarket one day "Hey Cam, here's that Anusol cream you were after."
Just as he finished, he managed to knock about 30 packets of it off the shelf and onto the floor... As he scrambled to pick them all up, I yelled "Clean up in Aisle 4," as I ran away giggling...

Vegas Princess said...

I think the turning point for me was when my boyfriend (now husband) had to pull a bee's stinger out of my a public park. I couldn't sit and was in a lot of pain and insisted he do it right then. And then he ran and got me some salve and a band-aid and patched me all up. Ironically enough the next day I got food poisioning and couldn't make it to the toilet in time...for either expulsion, and he dutifully cleaned it up while I moaned on the floor. Then he cleaned me up.

That was a BAD weekend...and he stuck around.

nikinpos said...

I guess I got myself a keeper then!

A Novelist said...

You can add one more to that list:

If a man holds your hair back as you violently vomit into a toilet bowl. Yes...that is how I knew my boyfriend was a keeper!!! ;)

Rachel said...

Any man who would willingly go with me to an Elementary school concert would be a keeper.
Those things are torture. It doesn't matter if you are a parent or not.

minijonb said...

I bought tampons for my girlfriend this week... I guess it's just a slippery slope down from there.

almost famous kiwi said...

I'm listening to it right now and I'm cracking up, so classic, so hilarious, ridiculous and I'm just talking about the aussie accents. Your interview was great!

and by the way, nippleage is great!

Karisa Petho said...

haha Karina...does this mean you've recently had a yeast infection and hemmroids?
Hope you're feeling better :P

Cazzie!!! said...

Yep, my other half has done all of that for me before, after having 4 kids and feeding them like an old cow at the dairy, I reckon it is the very LEAST he could do for me LOL.

On the other hand, I went and bought some condoms for my sister out-law a long time ago. She was too scared to buy them herself, lest someone see her in the act. She was right next to me, I purchased said product, I handed her the bag and the change, "There you are, and here is YOUR change", LOL. She was 19 at the time, sheesh, she did her own dirty work after that. Did I love her when I got them for her, of course I did. LOL

Charm School Reject said...

My husband must not love me....he claims its out of respect of the other women in the tampon aisle. I say its a bullshit copout.