Home, Sick Home

Hey, everyone...I'm back from my month-long voyage to the Southern Hemisphere shores of New Zealand. Just as I was getting used to the sunshine, fresh food, travels from one neat place to the next and the long summer days, I had to return back to this endless winter of the Nothern Hemisphere.

Boo. Back to life, back to reality.

Oh, but wait. I returned to find that my reality and life has been suddenly altered.

First of all, I must disclose that before I left for New Zealand I lost my driver's license. That was what the whole "in a police station at 3AM" thing was all about. It was due to a DUI - naughty, naughty. Because I was so compliant and close to being under the limit, the cop didn't fine me or charge me with anything and for that I am VERY grateful. But he still took away my license for three months.

In New Zealand I managed to put that all out of my head - didn't give it one ounce of thought. Until I was on the plane home and realized, oh crap, how the hell am I going to get to work? My work is a hefty 45-60 minute commute when driving. By our terrible public transit system it would be two hours! Each way! There goes my life.

Even when I thought I could enlist friends and my bf to pick me up (getting there in the morning is easier than the other way around) I was still filled with guilt and a whole bunch of hassle.

Regardless, this was my punishment, which I deserved, so I sucked it up and went in to work on Monday (after arriving only the day before).

The hellish commute by bus, skytrain, bus and walking was soon just a small memory when I arrived at the office.

Within the hour, my boss had secretly informed me that HR was planning to lay me off on January 4th. Apparently there was a lot of money lost in the company over the last month and many, many layoffs (not to mention one of our accountants had a stroke because he was overworked). I was to be one of them - she just wanted to give me the heads up now. A few days before Xmas. Yay.

But luckily my boss is eager to help me find a new job and until January 4th, I am welcome to work at home for the next two weeks. And by work, I mean do nothing. Because there is no work for me! Or my boss - she's looking for jobs too. Our positions have become redundant thanks to the company merger.

So I guess the bad news is that I lost my license and my job.

If I wanted to be a negative person and cry and bitch and moan about it and how unfair life is, I could. But I won't. Because I think change can bring blessings and though I am to be jobless, I have never been filled with such PEACE.

I get EI (welfare) at the highest amount for at least 6 months, or until I find a job. And I have no doubt that I will find a job that I will like and that will challenge me. I get time now...time and freedom, the two things I crave most in my life. My apartment is being rented so I don't have to worry about paying my mortgage. I don't have to pay car insurance or gas, so I save money there. And I know I'll be shedding the 8 pounds I've gained thanks to the fact that I will have to walk everywhere - plus NOW I actually HAVE time to just exercise all day.

I'll also have time to start re-writing my novel (now that my editor has marked it up for me - exciting!) and start writing the next one in the series. Plus maybe write another script, read more books and just enjoy my new time and freedom.

All while searching for a great new job (or even an OK new job, so as long as the pay is OK and it's accessible by public transport).

I might even be flying off to Palm Springs next month to visit my parents! Why not?

Anyway, that's how I am viewing this whole experience. You can either shrink from it or embrace it. I know and believe everything happens for a reason and the fact that I have a whole new year - 2010 - full of amazing opportunities, is a reason for joy!

OK, now enough about reality and how about some New Zealand photos? I have so many so you can bet your bippy that the next month will just be full of them, so I'll start off with something rather simple...Vampires and Strippers.




Crazy Twilight Lovers - feel free to stop reading this now. In fact, please do. I'm the only person alive (almost) that does NOT understand the appeal of this fad so please don't take this personally (you'll be surprised how hurt people get when you say you don't like it and then give your reasons. Different strokes for different folks, Twi-hards. I mean, I just went on a tour in NZ in which I got to dress up - in costume - like Lord of the Rings characters and renact scenes...and I loved it! But I don't take offence when someone calls me a giant nerd. Cuz I am!)

I DO understand the whole book thing. I like shitty authors too (Dan Brown, anyone?) so I am obviously no literary snob - I read Archie comics still ha ha. And despite the fact that Meyer's writing is...well...BAD ("he smiled a charming smile" - she used smile twice in one sentence!!!) she does have a very good concept and I guess the orginal BOOK characters are all right. So while vampire books (or anything) in general are not my cup of tea, I can see why people like the actual book series. Fair enough. That's as diplomatic about this as I can get...and I'm really biting my tongue here, mostly because I fear most of my reader's like this stuff.

But the films? THE FILMS! MY GOD! I was forced by Wife Kiwi to watch the first film within a few days of arriving. Actually she forced both her husband and I - she's a fan of the books but thinks the movie is garbage.

We turned it into a drinking game...everytime you see Robert Patterson look like he regrets being in this film, you drink! It happens a lot! Anyway, in the end, we laughed and laughed and laughed and I actually really enjoyed watching and making fun of that film. Time well spent.

Then when Kiwi's two other bridesmaids arrived in New Zealand, we decided to go see New Moon. Oh the hilarity. First of all, Kiwi and bridesmaid T have read and liked the books. Me and Bridesmaid Rangitoto had not and did not. But we all agreed that the movies should have been shown on Mystery Science Theatre.

So during the day, we all wore TEAM EDWARD and TEAM JACOB and TEAM PATTON (as one Fantomas fan asked "Team Patton? Like Mike Patton? Or General Patton?") to the movies, filled our concession cups with a half litre of vodka, went in the theatre (which was almost empty, thank God) and proceeded to watch.


Theatre Conduct FAIL


SO MUCH LEGROOM - to put your feet up on the chair in front of you, you had to lie there half off of the seat!


OK, that's it, let's get out here


Before the Film...full of hope:



After the film...WTF??? It hurts our brains!!



Redoing a scene...WHY ARE THEY ALL WEARING RED!!??




We started laughing at the credits and didn't stop laughing until that "cliffhanger" of an ending. The movie was bad. The acting was TERRIBLE...only that sexy, underage wolfman had any talent. Kiwi and bridesmaid T are ACTUAL actors so they know the difference between good acting and...Kirsten Stewart. The direction was horrid. The dialogue...omg, don't get me started. It was just SO bad it was good. In the end I must say we were all entertained the whole way through. Not in the way the filmmaker intended, but still. Thumbs up for a lot of fun for me and the crew.

Luckily the other people in the theatre also laughed through the film (like when Edward took his shirt off...BAHAHAHA. Who on EARTH would find an emo, glittering, pasty, chalky, skinny guy sexy after watching that buff, cute native guy for most of the film???), so we didn't get kicked out.

The homemade shirts came in hand later when we were summoned for Kiwi's stagette party. First she had a night out with just us girls, then her workmates had a party for her with one hot stripper.

Us bridesmaids were instructed to wear white, while Kiwi was in black and the rest were in Camo. And so, we were the medics, she was going to the "dark side" and her co-workers were the army sent to save her from marriage with the help of Sgt. Hottie.

Enjoy!


Stagette Night #1





The Mission