Since I am unemployed and putting way too much emphasis on getting a Halloween costume (not just any costume but something really cool...nevermind) I decided to scroll about the blog world as a way to take my mind of things. Things that aren't coming in time for Halloween...anyhoo.
I've always like Moxie's blog. She seems to know her stuff. So I was perusing her site when I came across this post.
If you are too lazy to go read it (though I think you should) it's basically about a girl wanting sex more than her boyfriend. She feels unattractive and useless, which is completely understandable, because we have been taught that guys should want sex all the time, and if they don't then it means they aren't attracted to you. It got me thinking because I've read a few blogs over the last few months talking about the exact same thing. It seems to be a sort of current epidemic, affecting women everywhere...
Of course, people's comments on this issue have ranged from sympathetic ("My boyfriend doesn't care for sex much either") to optimistic ("Try dressing up as Princess Leia in the gold bikini and add some spice to the relationship") to brutal honesty ("It sounds like you've gotten fat" or "He's obviously gay").
What's interesting though: let's pretend that none of those comments hit the mark.
Let's say that the "Stereotype" that men want sex all the time, isn't true.
Well... is it?
8 comments:
I think it's just a stereotype, like the stereotype that women are cold prudes who don't put out enough. In the end, people are human. Men get headaches, women get horny.
stereotype or no stereotype.. gettin turned down by your man is hard for the ego to take
Its hard to get excited if you're with someone for the comfort factor.
I've tried to draw out the reasoning behind this but can't seem to keep it relevant. Suffice to say that a mismatch in sex drive is a symptom of deeper problems. Of course I'm speaking from the single, don't have it offered to me daily perspective...
I once got cut off for 6 months...found out later it was because he was banging some slutty whore.
Anyways...uhh...yeah, people should just have sex with the person they are with and enjoy it and wear costumes...caveman costumes. And Batman and Robin costumes...uhh...
If the dude CONSISTENTLY isn't interested, then something's wrong. But the stereotype is more or less true. I've found that its true for the liz-zadies as well. Y'all are just programmed to not accept the instinct. Acknowledge, move on.
Personally, I hear of this happening too AND experience it from time to time.
What I think it is, in part, is that women these days are a lot more freer when it comes to sex and now they know if they feel like it, they CAN innitiate it and not feel like some crazy, sex-crazed lady.
Claven: Women aren't not "programmed" to accept the instinct? Maybe the women you are with....
The fact of the matter is, that in the linked blog, the girl was feeling so inadeqaute about her guy's desire for her, that she has to go elsewhere for it.
Though I don't condone it, I also understand that. If a woman doesn't feel desired by her guy she WILL go to others to get the attention she is seeking. Does a guy have to make her feel lusted after all the time? No.
BUT at the same time, it should happen naturally. If you are lacking desire in a relationship, whether its after a few months or a few years, and you have to seek it elsewhere, maybe it's time to get a new relationship where you are feeling as desired as you should be.
One of my Ex- "lovers" didn't seem to give a hoot about sex one way or the other. Though I loved him, I NEEDED the lust and desire that he didn't provide for me.
I had to break up with him. It was hard because we were so good together in other ways. But now I'm with a guy who can't keep his hands off me, who rocks my world day and night and the "love-making" is nothing short of pure passion. If I had stayed with the other guy, I would have never known what a great sex life is truly like.
Maybe I'm one of the lucky ones.
Let's say that the "Stereotype" that men want sex all the time, isn't true.
Well... is it?
All men want sex all the time? 'Course not. Forget about getting headaches, some men actually prefer sports, gadgets, studying the feeding habits of the Lesser Indonesian Dung Beetle...
Post a Comment