Adventures in Unemployment

Trying to enjoy my first full day of unemployment (yesterday didn't count because I was in shock and slept through most of it) I decide to surf the net.

I'm lazy and relaxed and too tired to get dressed so I just sit on my couch in my Superman underwear (actually from Victoria's Secret but they are red and spandexy so...) legs splayed haphazardly and enjoying the sunlight that periodically streams through my large, open windows. Then...

...there is a sudden BANG at the window.

I look up to see a man peeping in at me through the half-open blinds.

By the way, I'm on the third floor.

Confused and feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, I jump up, let out a little scream, and immediately shut the curtains. A few more bangs follow from behind the curtains, so I cautiously make my way to the other window and peer out. Ropes are hanging down the side of the building. The window washers are hard at work. Peeking in at girls sitting spread eagle in their lingerie must be a job perk.

Lesson one of unemployment is...don't take lazing around in your underwear during the day for granted. You never know who might be looking in.

*****
Another lesson in unemployment? The minute you step in the shower, your buzzer will ring. You will have to jump out of the shower, soaking wet and let the FedEx people in because you've ordered your Halloween costume days ago and you are hoping this is it.

The man at the door hands you a thin package for a "David Vasey." Wearing just a towel and dripping all over the package, you try and explain that you aren't David Vasey and you don't know who David Vasey is. The FedEx guy doesn't believe you and makes you sign for it.

David Vasey, your membership forms from the Scarborough Country Club have arrived.

****
I think I'm going to get dressed before anything else happens.