I have a painful post of which I will get to later, but before I go any further, I must say a few words about my previous post.
First of all, I appreciate all the support(?) and opinions that have flooded in on the topic. 60+ comments is insane and from now on, if I don't get 60+ comments, I will be bitterly dissapointed.
But I think a lot of people misinterpreted me. The point of the post was to state my opinion on the subject, provide argument fodder via the study and see what everyone else had to say. Which is basically what happened. But...
Some people took it to mean that my boyfriend is pressuring me to move in with him. That's an unfair and gross generelization on his behalf.
My boyfriend is not pressuring me to move in with him. In fact, he hasn't asked (and after this, probably never will haha) and we have never discussed living with each other. The only thing we have discussed is our differing opinions on the subject. To put into context, we have only been going out for about 8 or 9 months, and different views aside, we both know that moving in together is something that won't be discussed in any serious way for a very long time. The whole moving in together thing is a very big step to make if you have only been together a short amount of time. Plus, there is the fact that A) he would not ask me to move in with him since he has a roomate, lives in New Westminster and I just bought my own apartment, in downtown Vancouver, and have a mortgage to pay. And B) I would not ask him to move in with me (not only because of what I believe), my apartment barely has enough room for my clothes and he has a cat and my apartment does not allow pets. And don't be so naive as to think he would get rid of the cat. He would sooner get rid of me.
So there you go. Again, thank's for your support and it's nice to know that one day if the subject ever does come up, I will know what you think about the whole thing and to know that I am not alone. Most of the comments have been very nice, more than generous and I LOVE hearing everyone's conflicting and torn opnions on this volatile subject. Keep it up, this is what free speech and blogs are all about!
In the meantime, we are both very happy in our lives as it is and are eager to keep it this way. As for the pity posts from people worried that I will never get married because of this, all I have to say is this: what makes you think I wanted to get married anyway?
Anyway, if you have a particular view on the subject, still feel free to comment on the post below...let's see if we can get it up to 69!
9 comments:
sounds like youre trying to convince yourself
*eyes rolling to the top of my head*
Actually...nevermind.
Don't bother with the riff-raff!!! Some people just don't like the idea of an *Independent Woman* someone who is not going to wait around and hope her man will ask her to move in. That is an important value to have. You do not need a man to take care of you or to validate you all you need is within yourself. *Cheers*
"69" comments, eh?
(Sound Homer makes when thinking of donut)
Wah... where was I?
ok, so since I got to be a part of your post... I think my opinion is best!!
Let's see....
I loved living on my own!! LOVED IT!! Jason and I moved in because we thought that was best at the time... turns out, after the "honeymoon" stage was over it wasn't that great afterall!!
... then along came baby!
so we had a lot of shit to deal with... and he had a lot of changing to do (eg. not throwing the dishes out when they got dirty and cleaning them instead!!)
but because of how we both feel about each other.. we persaveared (sp?)and got over and through our tough times.... I think for a whole year I was sad my personal space was gone... not realizing that we could live OUR own lives together and still have space/own lives/opinions whatever.
I think our opinion on marraige and relationships is the same... so even if we don't always agree, we work through it and find a way to make it work... rather than just give up and throw away our relationship..... kids or no kids!! THEY don't keep us together! WE CHOOSE TO BE WITH ONE ANOTHER!! So I guess what I'm saying is... we would have done all these things married or just living together before marraige.... it is just a peice of paper in the end.....
(which I WILL be signing on 7-7-07)
I think I lost trck of what I wanted to REALLY say......
...I'm confused......
sorry.
.... maybe I wanted to say that....I would never live with a man unless he has experienced living on his own first (so his expectations are real) and I would never want to lie with someone unless I too, had the opportunity to live/experience life on my own
...this is what happens when I don't visit regularly *sigh*
AJ - That's an interesting point and I'm surprised no one brought it up. That in order to live well with someone, you have to know if you live well alone.
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