Retro Whore

That got your attention didn't it?

A few years ago I really got into the whole retro look. This is when my love affair with classic films started, which then led me on to reading retro books (like Raymond Chandler and Daphne Du Maurier...so good), listening to retro music (who doesn't like Billie Holiday or Frank Sinatra?), idolizing retro people (hello Rita Hayworth), purchasing retro photographs and artwork (just take a look around my apartment) and wearing retro clothes.

Being a curvy woman myself, I found comfort in harking back to the Golden Era, when women were aloud to be women and not stick figures. The hourglass shape was revered and women were encouraged to dress feminine, to enhance their womanly figure. Cute pumps, fitted dresses, rhinestone jewlery, vintage handbags...these were all the things I coveted and I spent a good part of my paycheck on them.

But one thing I didn't buy into at the time was lingerie.

Not just any lingerie, but thigh-high stockings, garter belts and corsets. The whole shebang.

Of course, back then I was single and a bit younger, so the lure of lingerie wasn't really calling me.

But now, all that has changed.

Every year I go through a bit of an Ebay binge and last month was no exception. Aside from getting some primo bargains (which I will blog about later), I decided to embrace the retro whore look.

I bought corsets...and not the ones you would wear out to the club (Lord knows I have those too). I bought garter belts in black, red, white with matching undies. And I bought black thigh highs to attach to my garters.

Today I went out to run some errands wearing a wrap dress. Little did people know that underneath that dress (and underneath the huge coat) my black stockings were held up by a garter belt. It made me feel sexy and mysterious. And very, very ladylike.

Garter belts are an amazing invention. Personally, I hate stockings because the control top usually sucks the life out of you, leaves you with lumps and bumps and it's a pain to get off. I know all you women will agree but it's not very, erm, "accessible" if you want to get busy (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). Strike while the iron's hot, I always say, and when it takes you five minutes to wiggle out of your hose (and in the most unflattering way) the iron is usually cold.

The only complaint I have about garter belts is that sometimes you have to constantly adjust the belts in order to hold your stockings up.

Which is why I purchashed this brilliant invention that you see to your right:
This pair of rocking fishnet stockings come with the garter attached, so you just slip them on and forget about them.

I bought two pairs, the one shown and one sheer black with a seam running up the back.

Of course the minute I tried on the sheer pair I snagged the darn things on a raspy fingernail and now I can't wear them.

The stockings may make me look like a lady but my nails say otherwise.