Mommy Dearest

The other day I went to the Aquarium. On the account of not actually seeing any whales in the wild, we thought it would be a good fix for those of us who were jonesing.
Of course, we no longer have Orcas at the Vancouver Aquarium, because their enclosure was small, it was cruel, they were unhappy, etc. But we do have Belugas who make a wonderful, if not fat and goofy, substitute.
It was a bit like a journey back in time. It was only our second date when Ross and I first came to the Aquarium, on a similarly rainy Sunday, back in January. And like our visit several months ago, this one was plagued by the same problem: The aquarium is packed with whining, screaming and disobedient children.
I think Ross and I bonded on that cold, wet day, months back when we "joked" about tossing children into the dolphin pool and/or shark tank. This say was no exception. Joking about throwing kids into harmful situations has become a passion of ours.
Of course, we aren't really serious. Well, atleast I don't think Ross is.
I, on the other hand...well.
OK. Here is the thing. I'm not very kid-friendly and I never have been. Yes, I've warmed up to the idea of children over the last few years, but...I've yet to feel any sort of motherly instinct running through my veins. Kids to me, are a very scary subject.
Maybe because I'm afraid I'll be a bad mom...or that having responsibility will hinder my get-up-and-travel personality...or that one day all the children in the world will turn on us "adults" and recreate the Village of the Damned. I'm not sure.
But I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. There must be other women out there who don't have that baby-yearning uterus, just as I don't. And I'm not saying that it's a good or a bad thing. It's just that while there are some wonderful wannabe mothers out there, there are also women who feel a bit more confused on the subject of procreation.
Would I like to have kids one day? Sure, maybe, I don't know, I guess we will see. One thing is for sure, I sure as hell wouldn't want one now. Think about how many times I've lost and/or damaged my cell phone, passport, keys, camera, plane tickets, wallet, credit cards and various other "important" items.
I'll probably wait until children come out with an implanted GPS tracking device. Oh, and while they are at it, they should create a child that doesn't whine, cry or beat you up. Then maybe I'll consider it.

What to do in New Westminster

Forgive me for jumping all over the place, but I have no bearings of time and space. Oh, my goodness, I'm a poet and didn't even know it.
OK. I did know it.
So, anyhoo, nonetheless and all of that, continuing on from a previous post somewhere back there in the vault, Ross, Jeff and I attended the Rock 101 Grand Marnier BBQ party where we drank free booze and then made our way to New Westminster, where Ross and Jeff reside*. New West is apparently the oldest city in Western Canada. Of course, that's not really what it's known for nowadays. Tell anyone you're from New West and you'll get a terrified, yet sympathetic look.Where else can you frighten people just by asking for directions, get knifed for your phone on the way to the Skytrain or get a peep show from a streaker while waiting for the morning bus?
Looking back, I can't recall why we went to New West. I suppose it's a hard choice to make when you have drinking in Downtown Vancouver on one hand and drinking in a New West hole on the other. Regardless, the boys had picked New West as destination of choice (because when you've had a private party at the Boathouse, I guess you can only go up!) and I somehow agreed."YES!" I must have cried out. "Let's go to Scruffys!" (I'd obviously had a few already).
Now, Scruffy's is a down-at-its-heels bar, conveniently located underneath the Skytrain station and frequented by muggers, dumpster divers and genuine weirdos. It's sort of like the Cambie, but not as "commercial," if that's possible. But it does have its own kind of "charm." I witnessed some of this charm the Saturday before. Ross took me out to the Keg for a meal ("served" by sketchy waitress with a black eye) and naturally we thought, "Hey, why not end this special evening with a few drinks at Scruffys!?" We are pure class all the way.
So, we get to Scruffy's and are later joined by Jeff. He too can not resist its low-key charms (or waitress). But this Saturday is no ordinary Saturday. Low and behold, it's LIVE MUSIC NIGHT...which, in New West terms, turns out to mean: "Threatening Karaoke by Drunk Locals."
We knew we were in for a time when the most beautiful clear voice started singing Evanescence. But there was something off about it to me. We couldn't see who was singing because we were around the corner, but I had a feeling...
The waitress came over with our drinks. Without us saying anything, she told us, "Yes, it's a very gay man singing." I knew it!
A very gay man who then proceeded to threaten everyone if they didn't applaud. And then proceeded to scoop up the existing naysayers and hump them on the pool table.
Anyhoo, I wasn't expecting a repeat of Saturday and its madness (we ended up seeing our black-eyed crap waitress stumble in later on) because, of course, it was Tuesday night. So, it was really just us three in the bar. And a Boxing machine. But that was enough for trouble. As you can see:

*There, I changed it, are you happy now?

A Whale of a Time, or your money back

Last Saturday, despite my vicious cold/flu/sicky-type thing, I decided to be a good sport and go whale watching.
Well, I shouldn't say I was being a good sport. I've always wanted to go whale watching and when Cat and Chris (Ross's sister and husband...er, Ross's sister's husband, not Ross's husband...that would be Jeff) told me that was in their plans I knew I was going no matter what. Sure, bobbing up and down in the Georgia Straight while I should be under the covers in bed sounds stupid, but stupid is usually fun!
First problem though, was transporting the clan down to Steveston. I have my weeny car and there were 5 of them. So how many Scots could we fit in a Neon? The day was starting off like a bad joke.
While I contemplated stuffing Ross in the trunk, the others came to a solution. Since Ross's mum is the tiniest, she would lie across the others in the back. Like so:
Meanwhile, I had Ross's dad in the front with me, giving me driving tips. I'm pretty sure his parents had somehow heard through the grapevine that I was a "crazy" driver. Well, I proved them wrong...except when I almost hit that pedestrian. Do you know how hard it is to drive under the speedlimit? Especially whilst sick? I think I deserve a medal.
Of course, the drawback to my Speedynessless (it's a word, don't worry), was that we were late for the trip. And did you know that there are THREE Whale Watching places in Steveston? I didn't even know there was one. So for awhile there, it looked straight out of a Marx Brother-esque comedy. The 5 Scots running around the docks of Steveston, searching for whales, throwing Chinese children out of the way and nearly slipping on disembodied fish parts. Or maybe that was just me.
Anyhoo, to make a long story short we made it on the boat. But because the boat was nearly full, Ross and I had to sit in the open back area.
"You'll get wet," the Naturalist, Jasmine, warned us.
Yeah, yeah, we thought, bring it on! This 40 foot long, half-covered zodiac was nothing compared to my zodiac in which I have risked so many lives and cell phones.
We were soon joined by "The World's Best Grandma" (or so her sweater said) and what must have been the World's Best Daughter. They were obviously from the South (accents and such) and they too were warned by Jasmine.
"You will get wet back here. Cold and wet."
Yeah, yeah, yeah they said. Actually, it was more like a hearty "Whooo hoooo!"
Jasmine walked off, her wetness scare tactics having no effect on us.
Then we were off to a roaring start. The sea was angry that day, my friend. The waves chopped against us and as I watched crystalized ginger being passed around the front of the boat, I started to fear my cold/flu/sicky-thing materializing itself as vomit.
Thankfully, that feeling past, and all I had to contend with was using Ross as a shield to the cold wind, smiling reasuringly at Ross's parents who kept looking back at us with worried faces and searching the Gulf Islands for the gentle giants of the deep. Yup, just waiting to see those black dorsal fins break the surface, the Orca's leaping magestically, the dolphins running for cover. Any minute now.
Four Hours later, after zooming down through the Gulf Islands to the San Juan Islands and back, there were no whales to be seen and Ross and I didn't even get the teeniest bit soaked. How utterly dissapointing.
Apparently, they have a 90% sighting rate. Well they lied. But they do have a guarantee: If you don't see any whales, you get a free trip on the house.
It's true. In fact, Cat and Chris used their free trip yesterday. And guess what? No whales. It's a conspiracy, I tell ya.
So, Ross and I have four more whale watching passes to use for ourselves (since Cat and Chris are jetting off for other lands) and we'll probably use two of them when we go whale watching with his parents. Again. This Saturday. And there better be some freakin whales this time.
Otherwise I'm gonna put Jasmine in a whale suit and throw her in the ocean.
Who's cold and wet now?














Whales, where art thou?

Blast from the Past: part two

Sigh. I'm a horrible employee.
I've missed the last two days of work. First, I took the friday off in order to be a good tour guide to the Lockharts. Though now when I think about it, I can't remember if I took them anywhere or not. Hmmm.
Anyway, that was that. Then I got sick that same day. A sickness that haunted me the whole weekend, as I drove around the city, searched for whales (I'll get to that later) and ate really good food in really nice places. But underneath it all I was sick as a dog (odd, cuz I don't think I've ever seen my dog sick).
So, Sunday night rolled around and I couldn't sleep. At all. Except between 6 AM and when Ross's alarm went off at 7:30 AM. Of course. So, I had no choice but to call in sick and miss yet another day of work. I worried how the NBA Live would get on without me.
Turns out fine, because when I returned to work today, we were no longer on Xbox 360(infact I think the game I helped de-bug...or screw up...ships out this week).
No, today and FOREVER, I am now doing NBA on PS3.
That's Playstation 3 for all you people who don't know. Don't laugh, I didn't know that this morning (hey, I'm still sick!).
Ah yes. Lucky Me. I get to work on PS3 before anyone else.
Well. Let me tell you something. IT SUCKS!!! It's the most bug-ridden, game-crashing piece of crap I have ever seen. It angers me to look at it and makes me want to hit whoever is designing this game over the head repeatedly with the controller.
Where am I going with this?
Oh yeah. So, there I am today, staring blankly at the HD screen, watching it slowly load and being disturbed by some player's that have no eyes, severe underbites and appear to do the moonwalk when they aren't being used, when a guy sits down in the chair next to me.
I look over at him, not really focusing. He looks vaguely familiar, his eyes especially. But maybe I'm just used to staring at basketball players who have no eyes.
"Remember me?" Mystery Man asks.
I look down at his umbrella and briefcase. I'm quite confused and must have looked it for he gave me a bit more information.
"Grade 5. West Vancouver. Mrs. Mullan's class."
And then it hits me. I remember last week. I had gotten an email from a Lochlan Morrisonm a name that reverberated throughout my inbox.
Lochlan was my true love at age 10. We hung out together, did everything together...we got along like peas in a pod. Until I asked my friend if he liked me. And apparently, Lochlan "didn't like me that way" for I was too greasily limp-haired, fat-faced and sniffly to be of any sort of "romantic" value at that age.
CRUSHED! My first rejection and it still haunts me to this day...in the same sort of way that any New Kids on the Block song haunts me to this day.
Well, anyway, to make a long story short, there was the pre-teen crush sitting across from me (he also works QA at EA but DT Van)and all I could think of was, 'do I look OK?'
The answer: I've got bags under my unfocused, glazed eyes, my hair is greasy and I'm sniffling all over my face.
Somethings never change.

*******

On a completely different note, wonderful Elena came by the other week. My first "victim" at La Alberca, Elena was visiting up from Seattle where she was seeing her American bf. She was nice enough to grace me and my wee apartment for a night before she was whisked off to Victoria to visit the Island Sisters (and half of the notorious "Sex-Pests").
I took Elena to Milestones on English Bay(the place to take Spaniards AND Scots apparently)and we laughed and giggled, talked about men and drank a lot of wine, just like the ol' days.
Again, somethings never change.

Magical Mystery Party

Ah, right. A week ago, I went to Classic Rock 101's National BBQ Championship Grand Marnier Party. As you may have guessed from the title, there was classic rock, BBQ and Grand Marnier involved.

It all started ages ago when I used to work at that dreadful job with my charming co-worker Jen. She's the one drinking with me in all my Boozy Friday work photos (and who, by the way, quit the same day I did...minus the laid off part). I was flipping through Rock 101's contest page, usual for me since I only listen to that station (until I get bored of hearing Rush played 5 times a day, then I switch to another station) and I saw a contest for Grand Marnier. Tell us how you use Grand Marnier and you can win a party for you and 9 friends.

Well Jen and I put our brains together and came up with some crazy ass Grand Marnier crap, from GM seared scallops to GM Sangria and Mojitos.

It paid off. A few weeks later they announced our win on the air.

They laughed at our over-zealous use of the alcohol...then I believe Dean and/or Hatch made some remark about me being an alcoholic. Meh.

Anyway, the point is we won and last tuesday, Ross, Jeff and I made our way to the Boathouse Deck on English Bay to attend our party. We weren't the only ones to win though, there were about 30 people there but still...private party! Soon, Jen, her bf Phillipe and 5 of her friends came...I looked around for Leanne and John to show to complete our 10 but NOOOO, they didn't show. I don't care if you are sick, free booze is free booze!

And free booze it was. GM Margaritas, wine, beer, you name it. Every second a waitress came by to hand us a drink. Then came the food. OMG, melt in your mouth BBQ Pulled Pork. It was too good for words.

The highlight was meeting Dean and Hatch whom I listen to yammer away at each other between 2 and 7pm every weekday. There's something about radio people that always through me off. First, they never look the way you think they look. Second, they really do talk in that annoying radio voice. Third, I think Dean and Hatch were drunk. Maybe it was the free booze. Maybe they were always drunk. But I guess you would never tell by listening to the radio.

Of course, free booze often leads to paid booze, so when the open bar ended at 7, Jeff, Ross and I made our way to New Westminster and continued boozing it up at Scruffy's. Us three at the pride of New West on a tuesday.

To be continued...


Jen, Me, Dean and Hatch...who is who?

Scottish Stuff

Look at the lovely Scottish things I now have. The funnny thing is, only one of them actually came from Scotland. The Irn-Bru (diet, of course) and the Castle Rock are both from a wee shop in Steveston which sells only British foods. We discovered it the other day after 4 hours of whale watching.
While The Lockharts patiently stood outside the shop, Ross ran around inside like a kid in some kind of store. To be fair, his family just came from Europe and Ross has been deprived of junk food such as Prawn Cocktail Skips Crisps, Pickeled Onion Monster Munchers, Salt and Vinegar Hula Hoops, Cadbury Curly Wurlys and a giant jar of something called Branston's Pickle, which looks like a brown, mushy marmalade with chunky cubes of pickled goods in it (apparently great on cheese!).
The only thing that came directly from Scotland is the Garter Belt.

His sweet mum bought it for me.

While I think the gesture is funny and cute, Ross and his sister, Cat, looked horrified at what their dear mum had brought me.

Yeah. Well, I like it.

It's In The Game

Above: Jason Williams, for my favourite team, the Miami Heat

All right, fine. It's come time to announce my job. And suffice to say, Karisa you hit the nail on the head. You are right, I do work at EA Games.
For those of you who don't know what EA is, I'm not going to explain it. For those of you who do know what it is, then your assumptions are correct.

I play video games for $11 an hour, full-time.

Yes. They do pay you to do that. Unbelievable, right?

It all started when I saw an ad on Monster.ca. A temp agency was recruiting for this job: VIDEO GAME TESTERS NEEDED. I thought, hell I may know nothing about video games, but the pay isnt bad considering the job, and something short term (4-6 weeks) will suit me perfectly.
So I got the job, went in last friday, did my basic training. On the monday I began my first official day of work and was put into my team.
I'm on team NBA Live 07, for the QA (Quality Assurance). The Xbox 360 version ships out in about 2 weeks, so I'm basically playing the game and looking for bugs. Of course, the bugs I do find are minor and since the game has already been shipped to Microsoft for further testing, they dont do much about the bugs I find. Which is great, because all I have to do is...play the game.
For 7.5 hours a day.
Now, I was dissapointed at first because I wanted to be on the FIFA 07 team, playing football, or on the Need for Speed team, testing the car racing, or on the Medal of Honour Airborne team (testing on PS2s) bombing the Germans. But no, I get stuck with basketball, of which I know nothing.
Or I should say, of which I DID know nothing. I know a bit about it now, and I've played it this whole week and already I can win games (especially in Dynasty Mode, when I play with my fav team, the Miami Heat). In fact, yesterday my Testing team (I'm the only girl tester on my team) was entered into a tournament, in order to get to know each other better. I was given the Rockets, which has that big Chinese dude on it (butterfingers when he comes to dunking though, even though he is as tall as the hoop). I played against my supervisor and won! I made it all the way to the semi-finals, thanks to my confusing strategy of pressing all the buttons at once. Yay!

Anyway this is a typical day at work:

*Arrive at 9 am. Eat big waffle breakfast from cafeteria while watching the person next to me play Need for Speed.
*Play NBA Live 07 on XBox 360
*Go for a break...my thumbs are getting sore
*Play game
*Go for hour lunch, eat gourmet food from cafeteria
*Play game
*Take another break...the Heat are losing in a game vs the Cavaliers and I need a time out
*Play game
*Go home
*Dream about basketball

Ahhh, yes. The Mystery Job is revealed. And although it was all fun and games (literally) this week, the next few weeks will be harder. The Xbox game will be done and so I move onto testing NBA for Playstation 3.
Yes, Playstation 3, which hasn't even come out yet. I'll get to play it before all of you, mwahahaha. But its not all good since that particular game has like a million bugs in it (the players dont even have eyes, the stadium crowd is missing, Shaq actually flies through the backboard).
Sigh. All in a days work.

Survive The Savage Sea

Just to keep you all informed, I have the latest report from my father's sailing trip. Currently, Norfinn is blasting towards San Francisco at an alarming rate. The waves are absolutely huge, the wind whipping up the swells as the weather pushes them south. In fact, tomorrow they should be in San Fran...and they've only been gone 4 days!
But despite this advantage, things on the Norfinn arent looking too friendly. The microwave has decided to dislodge itself from the wall, the waves are too high and too rough for them to use autopilot...the crew haven't eaten since its too rough to make any food, let along keep it down. And I suppose its not easy to sleep in that kind of situation. They called into Ventura, California, to see if they could seek a safe harbour for the night but the Coastgaurd said it was way too dangerous for them to come in. And to think I almost went on this trip at the last minute...
But on the plus side, they should be sailing (floundering?) underneath the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow afternoon, hopefully safe and sound.

The Scottish Are Coming!

I know I haven't posted for awhile despite saying I would. A lot has happened...I'm about to reveal my job, got to blog a bit about my wonderful time with Elena from Madrid, plus the crazy ROCK 101 Party I went to last night. Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you about that. Guess who won a party for 9 friends at the Boathouse on English Bay last night? Complete with free margaritas, beer, BBQ Pork and Dean and Hatch. But more about that later.

Tonight Ross's parents are coming into town. AHHHHHH Meet the Parents. Hopefully all will go well and I wont make a fool of myself. But if I do, you can bet I will blog about it.

Anyway, I'll blog properly as soon as I can...I'm at Mystery Work now, about to go on another mission. Mwaha.

Bon Voyage, Norfinn

Next stop: Mexico

Challenge Everything

While people have guessed from ass-wiping/accounting to nude lion taming to stripping, you are all off base (except for the lion taming thing). And until someone decides to hit it closer on the head, I'm just going to keep you guessing.

Today was my first day at work and it seems like a real blast, so far. Completely unlike anything I have ever done, in a place unlike any I have ever seen. Although the job part of it hasn't started yet, today was still quite full-on with lots of training. I really can't wait for next week when I can really sink my teeth into it. I wasn't the only person hired on for this, there were about 24 other temps, all looking bewildered at where they were. Some were from New Zealand, Australia, Ireland...and not all were as big _______ as I thought. But there were 19 guys and only 5 girls (including me).

Here are some interesting facts about where I work:

-The building I work in is amazing. And new. And cost 54 MILLION DOLLARS to build. And it shows.

- There are 1500 employees from all over the globe who work in the building.

- The security is just about as high as Fort Knox. Your security passes aren't cleared for all areas and you have to be swiped through several checkpoints before you can get anywhere.

- You have to sign a confidentiality agreement. In fact, I'm not allowed to go into detail about what I have been "working on."

- There are several Starbuck's in my work (great for break time, or when falling asleep at the computer).

- The Break Room has a free video game arcade and pool table

- The Cafeteria is huge and state-of-the-art and the food is AMAZING (mmm bento box).

- My company's net revenue for 2006 so far is 2.9 BILLION DOLLARS.

- My company is the number one _____ in the whole world, by a large margin.

- Where I work is the largest ______ in North America

- Where I work has a movie theatre, a soccer field, an indoor gymnasium, fitness classes, a spa, basketball courts etc.

And the good thing is, the commute isn't any longer than the trip I was making to the North Shore. So there you have it. Day One and I think I'm off to a good start. Don't really know what I'm doing, but hey, the fact that what I do is going to make me a very wanted women in some circles, makes it all the more worthwhile. Mwahaha.

Meet our new ____________

 
Ok, well as some of you know...well, actually, none of you know. But I didn't get the job at YouthInk magazine like I had thought. Which really sucks because it would have been close to my house (could have taken the false creek ferry to work!), Poonam works there and even though I would have been a receptionist, I would have had my hand in doing editorial stuff.
Ah but as fate would have it, I got a call this week from the nice lady who interviewed me. Her sister, who is doing the hiring, said "No," on the account that I am "Overqualified."
Huh?
So, I've heard of being Underqualified (which I think I am for a bloody receptionist job anyway, I'm mean really, have you ever seen me organized?) but I've never heard of being "Overqualified."
Whatever.

****

So, feeling angry and frusterated, I lash out by applying for a job that seems arbitrary and silly but fun and so not me. But anyway I do so and a half hour later (this is 1030 at night) I get a call from the recruiting agency who is doing the hiring. They need the position filled by Friday, would I be able to come into an interview tomorrow?
I say sure, surprised that I even got an interview since this job can be considered to be MANY people's dream jobs. Not mine however, that's probably why I was/am so laisez faire about it.
My interview was at 4 on Thursday and I am asked to bring two reference letters (thanks you Ross and Jen!) and my resume. At 3:30 I go to print my resume. I have no paper. So I print all of them on Photo Paper...mmmm shiny. Then I call Yellow Cabs since I dont know if I can walk it on time. I'm on hold with Yellow Cabs until 3:50, when I realize I'm in shite. I phone Black Top, get through right away and my cab arrives.
Once at the office, I'm one minute late. But the woman was interviewing other people so no one noticed.
When it's my turn, she does a double take.

"Are you Karina?"
"Yes"
"Are you here for the _______job?"
"Yes, I am here for the ______ job"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"Okaaaaaay then"
We walk into her office, she keeps turning around to look at me. She looks confused and scared. We sit down.
"Sooooo," she says, "You want to _______?"
"Yes, it sounds fascinating"
"I'm sorry. I just can't wrap my head around it. Why not do reception? You could be an 'Office Super Star'"
"I like challenges and doing new things"
"I'm going to show you to my collegues and they won't believe you are here for the _______ position"
"Uh.."
"They are going to want to steal you away for other jobs. Like reception"
(nervous laughter on my behalf)
"No really. Anyway, here is the details of ______. Read over it and see if you still want to do it, because I just don't think...ah, we'll see."
I read it over, knowing what its all about since I did a wee bit of research last night. When I'm done, I put the sheet down. She's busy entering my info into the computer and eyes me suspiciously.
"So, did you read all of it? Even the last part? And you still want to do it?"
I didn't even say anything.
"Okaaay, well I guess you know what you want to do. Even though I could give you five reception jobs right now? NO? Okaaaaaay. Well, I'm gonna type this letter out to the people who want the ______job filled. I'm gonna read it out loud as I type."
I nod, she starts typing and talking.
"Dear Andrea, I have a wonderful young lady here who apparently wants to _______. I personally don't think she should __________, she should instead be an 'Office Star', but she seems quite set on it. I'm sure when you meet her it will surprise you, and although she has no formal training in ________, she thinks her journalistic and problem-solving skills of articulate nature will be an asset to the job. Again, I tried to convince her not to ________, but there you go."
More nervous laughter from me. Did she just try and convince the "Big Name Company" to not hire me?
After that fiasco was over, she did in fact show me around to her other collegues, plus the owner of the recruiting agency (this is Karina and guess what she's here for? She wants to _________).
Tired of smiling and pretending to laugh, I am shown to the testing area.
"So," she turns to me, "This isn't for the ____ job, but for our knowledge in the future in case we want to place you in another job."
Like an Office Super Star?
"It says here on your resume you can type 60 words a minute, can do Excel and Word. I'm gonna leave you with this testing program which will show how much you know about it all."
Uh-oh.
She leaves and I am left with the computer. My first task is Excel. Sure, I can do that...I took Research Methods in school...we had TONS of classes where we learned Excel.
Then the test starts and I remember...I never went to class! While Chuck was teaching us Excel, I would either stay at home and sleep, or show up half way during class, or talk to people on msn or go for sushi, or Earls or White Spot or Montanas and have a few Ceasers with Leanne and Karisa!
By the time the tests were all over, I had scored the lowest score possible and I think I crashed the computer.

****

Imagine my surprise then when I got an email that night, telling me I had got the _________ job. It's only short-term, 4-6 weeks, but it sounds like a blast (was in fact told, "You don't want to reception? Oh well, you will have a blast at _____").

I start tomorrow morning at 9AM. SO. What exactly is the __________ job? Leave your guesses below and whoever guesses correctly gets...something nice. 

Family Fun

above, from left: Roz, Rick, Sven, Kris, Trond, Ross and I

Last night I traveled to T-town to attend my Father's going away party. Well, it wasn't really a party, just an excuse to eat at the Beach Grove Golf Club and for the family to see my Dad before he goes. And as Trond put it, "It's not so much a going away party for him, but a celebration for us." Cuz, you know, the boss is leaving.

So gargantuan I don't even fit in the picture


While my half-sister Linda wasn't there (she lives in New Zealand...ahhh, New Zealand), it was a pretty good gathering. Above is my Dad, me and my brother's Kris and Trond. I'm thinking it would be a nice idea to print out a copy of this picture and give it to my dad before he goes away. That way he can have something to deter him from coming home when he gets homesick.

Beware of Wildlife

Remember when animals used to be scared of the sight of man? I've recently discovered that this just isn't true anymore. Over the weekend, I went swimming in the ocean. A few fat seals are usually camped out on the logs, a few odd meters from the docks. While you can get quite close to them in a little boat, you risk scaring them into the water.

So, my mother and I decided to swim towards them and see how close we could get. The seals lifted their lazy heads from the logs and peered at us inquisitely, but we could tell if we swam any closer we would scare them away. Then I noticed a seal swimming a few feet in front of us. But instead of swimming away, it turned to face us. It gave me a hard gaze, not breaking eye contact. Then it started to swim towards me. And then it dissapeared under the dark water. When humans try and get close to wild animals, its quite thrilling. But when animals reverse the situation, it can get a bit unnerving. Needless to say, we decided we had enough of the seals and swam back to the boat. I had an eerie feeling that the seal was swimming a few feet below me.

I would like to say that was a one off incident but it's not true. Yesterday I went for my walk around Lost Lagoon. I took off down a quiet, wooded path, with no one else on it. I thought it odd since it was late afternoon and everyone in Vancouver seemed to be about. But I pushed on and turned a corner. There in front of me was a raccoon.

AWWWWWW, was my first thought. I wondered how close I could get to it, it was only a few meters away, on the side of the path. I walked slowly towards it, careful not to scare it. It looked up at me. I looked at it. It took a step towards me.

I ran away.

I know raccoons are cute and all, but I couldn't help but notice the signs around the park that said RABIES!!!BEWARE!!!

I ran quite aways from the wee rabid raccoon until I came upon a flock of Canada Geese crossing the path. There were about a dozen of them. I thought my running towards them would scare them off the path, but it didn't. In fact, they just stopped in the middle of the path and looked at me. There is something about the cold, hard eyes of Canada Geese that make you feel small. I stopped running and waited for them to sloooooooowly make their way off of the path and into the lake. There were a ton of them and only one of me. It wouldn't be hard to see who would win in a fight. Thank God the swans weren't around.

Angry at the lack of respect from the Animal Kingdom, I strutted purposefully back home. I came across a squirrel crossing the street.

AH HA! I thought. Squirrels are afraid of everything. I raced up to it. It stopped, stood up on its hind legs and looked at me. It wiggled its nose.

That was enough to get me scurrying away in the opposite direction.

Haven't you seen that killer bunny in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

RIP Summer and Cell Phone

Well that was it. There goes summer...there goes my cell phone. Two seperate incidents perhaps, but it was all conected by this Labour Day weekend.

My Family, Ross and I sailed over to a tiny rock called Alexandra Island. Owned by the yacht club, the island is located in Centre Bay, on Gambier Island (in Howe Sound)and takes 10 minutes to walk around it. Yup, it's tiny. And there is nothing to do there. But I guess that's the point of it.

As weekends usually fly by in a hurry, this one went deliciously slow. When you don't have a choice but to do nothing, not only does the guilty feeling associated with doing nothing subside, but time itself seems to crawl by.

So what did we do? Went swimming, since the water is wonderful...clean, clear...and as freezing as the Baltic, but when you're numb, you don't notice it anyway. Ross and I went snorkeling too, which was a novel thing to do (especially in Canada...I still had sand in my mask from the last trip to Hawaii), harassed the local burping and farting seals, attempted to BBQ stuff, drank a lot of beer, read, played trivia games, took some sun. And of course, took the zodiac out for a spin.

Which led to the unfortunate death of my beloved phone. On Sunday we had run out of beer, wine and vodka, so my parents sent me and Ross out on a voyage via zodiac to Gibsons. For those who watch the CBC (I dont know who you are), Gibsons was the home of The Beachcombers, and the famous bar Molly's Reach, is still there. That wasn't reason enough to visit, but the promise of more booze spurred us on.

Gibsons, according to my dad, was ten minutes away. He said the seas were calm, we would be there in no time and to take my cell phone. I remember thinking, hmmm cell phone + ocean = not good. But I didn't say anything. Therein lies the rub.

We got out there. My dad lied. Gibsons is atleast 30 minutes away. Across open water, strewn with ferry traffic to Langdale and rolling swells from the Georgia Straight. The seas were wavy and rough. As soon as I got about 15 minutes into the journey, I stopped the boat among the crashing swells. I didn't know where Gibsons was, so I called my dad. Big Mistake. A wave came over the front of the boat, soaking Ross to the core. My phone was in his pocket. He handed it to me, dripping wet. A dripping wet cell phone is not a good thing.

So, my cell is dead and until I miraculously get money to get a new one, I'm going to be harder than usual to get a hold of. So, send me an email or leave me a voice mail (that still works) instead. After all, I'm still unemployed (job searching might be hard without a phone) and have nothing to do. Except look back at this last weekend of summer and wish I had a few more of them. Because nothing feels better than hot sun, cool water and knowing you couldn't do anything even if you tried.




Oh, and for those who were asking about it, it looks for sure that my dad will be heading off to Mexico this weekend. Well, Victoria, and then down to LA...then San Diego...and then Mexico (the Mex part should happen in November and I'm contemplating joining the crew for that journey). But alas, my dear daddy will be gone for quite awhile and so will my boat.

Adios Norfinn!

As flattering as it is...

I'd really appreciate it if Jessica S. would try to stop copying me.

Gaw.

Goodbye August

Yesterday, on the last day of August, I went for my usual lope around Stanley Park



When I say lope, I generally mean a half walk/jog type movement, and when I say around Stanley Park, I generally mean up the seawall and around Lost Lagoon and back (still pretty far)



Anyway, I've been doing my daily hour and a half excercise and enjoying the last rays of summer



Not that summer ends on September 1st. In fact, today is probably warmer than yesterday. But that's aside from the point.






Actually this post has no point, I just wanted to share with you some pretty pictures