Tick, tock, tick, tock

It just occured to me yesterday that it is (was) OCTOBER 29th 2008! All of the dates were suprising to me. I mean, is it really 2008 (I know we have that shock in January but it's just kicking in now)?, is it really October already and is it already the END of October? AGH! We have two months before the new year and then it's 2009. TWO THOUSAND AND NINE, people!

The older I get, the faster time goes - I know I've blogged about this before but it's never been more apparent since starting my job. The days just FLY by and when Monday comes and I whine about how far away Friday is, BAM! Friday is here. Things are just going so fast, I feel like I can't get a grip and REALLY concentrate on where I am, right now. The weather. The climate. The changes. Where I was last year. Where I was last month. What's next month. How do I feel right now? How do I slow down and let it all sink in and where am I going to find the time to do that?

Which brings me to my next point...I turn 27 in December. TWENTY-SEVEN! Holy moly, I am just cruising along to middle age now, aren't I?

The thing is, I just don't FEEL 27. I don't. Maybe I feel 23. Yeah, I feel like I'm 23. A 23-year old in a 27-year old's body.

Do you feel your age? If not, what age DO you feel?

But back to frivolous fashion....remember to check out my eBay items...some will be ticking along for another 5 days but some are ending soon. Like in less than a day. So get in there and bid and remember I'll be chucking in a special gift for all my readers who win!!!

PS - I saw this Parisien street style photo today on Garance Dore and I WANT THIS COAT! Sadly though I have a feeling that it's expensive. Like, you couldn't even get it on Ebay and if you could it's going for like $800+ - sigh, there is just something so romantic and practical about the wide drapey collar and openess of the front. Plus the zipper, leather trim and warm furry exterior are a great combo and would be SO cozy this winter.

It's by Rick Owens, btw, which is sold on luxury sites and in similar stores and is therefore off limits to a budget-crunching, moneyless girl like myself. For now, anyway!

You Look Tired

Worst thing to hear EVOR!

Seriously, I hear this quite a bit and I’m tired of it. I know people like to call out the obvious (“wow, you’re sunburned”) but it’s not the thing people like to be pointed out. When you say I look tired, what you’re really saying is that I look like a steaming pile of crap. Well, isn’t it?

Woe is me, anyway because I always often look tired. It’s not in my head (you hear that, Mom?!) people often find the need to comment on it.

OK and I often AM tired too, which makes sense. I guess I’m coming down with something…or it may have something to do with the fact I stopped exercising this month (till next week) or maybe that I am going to bed late (thanks a lot, boyfriend) and waking up early (thanks a lot, job).

Anyway I am on a full-on beauty attack to try and make myself look awake in the mornings.

First object is to obliterate my under eye circles. Short of getting Juvederm injections (which I might do since these circles are ruining my life), there isn’t much you can do….especially if they are hereditary which I suspect mine are (thanks a lot, grandma). But I did shell out big bucks (OK, a got a deal) for Peter Thomas Roth’s Power K eye cream which has arnica (fights bruises, though all you holistic types know that already) and Vitamin K (which can thicken the skin, making the blood vessels which shine through my thin skin WAY too easily less apparent).

So far there has been no change but I’m giving it till the end of the jar….or at least till two months have gone by, which is how long most products take to work. I don’t expect miracles though

In the meantime, I am on the search for other ways to make my eyes look bright.

I use a heavy duty Dermablend concealer which lasts forever, but lately it just doesn’t do its job. The circles come through.

At the recommendation of another blogger, I tried out Lancome waterproof cream concealer at the drugstore last night and that did do the trick. I’m tempted to shell out money for it but worried that it doesn’t have what it takes to handle my morning circles (my night ones are less pronounced).

I also used to use Benefit’s Eyebright stick which is great for lining the inside of your eyes, highlighting the brow and even putting over your circles and the layering concealer on top. I’m also thinking of picking up another stick.

Using a yellow or peach based concealer as base before your regular concealer will also help…remember the color wheel! Yellows and oranges block out blues/purples.

As for the puffiness, I’m hearing good things about Biore’s depuffing eye gel and Patrica Wexler’s depuffing eye gel (which I just bought on Ebay – I’ll let you know!).

My tried and true favourite, which I can’t afford at the moment, is Clarin’s Flash Beauty Balm. They have one for the eyes now, but I would stick with the original. I first bought it in the Frankfurt airport and the smell takes me back. You leave the gel-ish formula on your face as a mask and tissue off or rub it vigorously into your skin. It really does perk you up.

Another great product (and again, expensive) is Bliss’s triple oxygen mask. I have also ordered a sample via Ebay, so I will keep you informed.

And then there is good ol’ Visine which I need to invest in! Today though I lined my eyes with Navy Blue liner as this makes your whites look whiter….eh, maybe. Maybe I would look more tired without it. It’s hard to say on days like these but here is hoping that after I cover myself with all these products, I might just start to look awake!

I have solved ONE problem though: I have been having extremely dry, flaking and bleeding lips and NO lipbalm was helping. Not Chapstick, not Blistex, not Nivea. Then I found Roc’s lip balm (around $7) and I’ve been happy ever since.

On the fashion side of things, thanks to everyone who is bidding on my Ebay items – you won’t be disappointed! And while I am a big fan of street fashion photo blogs such as The Sartorialist, Garance Dore, Hel-looks and Facehunter (way more inspirational to look at how real people dress vs celebs), I lack the nerve to copy them (I’m shy about shoving my camera in strangers faces). But I did see the most awesome girl on my street the other night so I thought I would draw it.

She was asian with dark TEAL hair, a tight neon yellow pencil skirt, black moto jacket, tights and booties with gold studs all over them. She was standing with an equally fashionable crowd (I believe one man had suspenders and a bowler on and NO it wasn’t for Halloween), but I was most taken by her hair! It was so bright and played off the brightness of the skirt.

My crappy rendition done with work’s sharpie collection…


PS any tips on under eye concealers (for mega circles) or tips on looking fresh and awake would be much appreciated too!!!

I really love my...

While I'm EBAYING everythinG I own (it seems) at the moment (see last post for link - remember if a blogreader wins an item, they get an awesome free gift!), there are somethings I am NOT going to Ebay. These are the clothes I am really loving at the moment...


My Dolce and Gabanna military tuxedo coat



Can you believe I scored this beauty for only $100? It’s from a few seasons ago and I am IN LOVE with it already. I took a gamble when I big because the pictures weren’t really doing it justice but I swear the coat was made for me. It’s very different with its long tuxedo style tail, its velvet cuffs and collar and silver eagle buttons – definitely a statement coat, I think. But it also fits me perfectly, is flattering and makes me hum Sgt. Pepper everytime I put it on. It’s my first like really upscale Italian designer coat and just feeling it and inspecting it, I can really see how well made and perfectly cut it is. So happy with this find!

My Coach flats



A great find for $30. I don’t think they are real though but that’s what I expected when I paid $30 for them. Who knows, all I know is that they are comfy, spritely and add a touch of “class” or something like that whenever I wear them, which is almost everyday.

My Forever 21 Cardigan



The perfect long cardigan. Thin (don’t like them long and thick…um, cardigans that is!), soft fabric. Big slouchy pockets which are at the perfect length for ramming your hands in there, while standing off center and looking slightly gamine and French.


Vic Matie patent blue leather mary-janes



I just got these in the mail yesterday from Yoox and after putting them on I immediately called my mother and begged her to buy me another pair. As they say, when the shoe fits, BUY TWO! After SO DAMN MUCH trial and error with shoes, I’ve finally found a pair that are unique but give height and are comfortable and as sturdy as boots. Maybe they are “sexy” but I think the high-shine navy patent leather gives it a little something. It reminds me of a futuristic Minnie Mouse from 1940. I’ve already gotten compliments from my boss on them and I love how they look demure until they hit the light at a certain angle and suddenly all you see is shiny shiny blue. I ordered another pair in Maroon – last pair in my size – which should be a little more subdued. But at the moment I am wearing them with my navy cardigan so it all works. Only problem now is that I really want a blue bag! Call me old-fashioned, but I love it when my purse matches my shoes. That way I can wear whatever else and not worry about matching.

Christian Louboutin Beatle Boots



Another FAB Ebay find (I think they were $100?) They are used but that just makes them comfy cuz they are already broken in slightly. They have a wicked pointy toe and elastic sides which aren’t really all that popular at the moment but I think it lends a 60’s British Mod air to them. When paired with black tights, these make my calves look really long and lean. Plus they are the only pair of Loubtins (aside from my espadrilles) that feel good on! They are my go to shoes when I want to look sleek.

Forever 21 Floral Bubble Skirt



I wore this to work the other day with bright tights, CL booties and a snug black blazer. With my hair in a French-type twist, I felt, well, very French…with a twist! It was a bold choice on my behalf (especially since in the dark morning hours I thought the tights were black but they were in fact dk electric blue) but it paid off since I got tons of compliments. Sometimes I forget I work in engineering.

Ebay Day!

Yes, I sorta lost my head over the last two months and went on a spending frenzy. After discovering that I can in fact wear stiletto heels (as long as they are less than 3 inches), I really outdid myself and bought a whole load of designer shoes. And then bags. Coats. Clothes. Etc.

Sadly, I did it all with money that I should have put towards my massive debt (yes, I still have massive debt). Now I have buyer’s remorse. And guilt. And shame. Especially since most of the shoes DO NOT FIT which means I have to resell them (and way below value) on Ebay.

That’s not the only thing I am selling though, I’ve started putting on EVERYTHING worth selling, even if I really like it. I keep everything I LOVE though but just liking is not enough and as such, my clothes and wardrobe will soon become YOUR clothes and wardrobe.

You guys were so great last time…so I am extending the offer again. If you bid on my item – and win, of course – let me know that you read my blog and I will throw in a free gift. And it won’t be something chintzy like a perfume sample of a keychain. It will be another mystery item of clothing or jewlery which will go along well with whatever you bought…or at least it won’t be whoreanus.

Check out some things I am Ebaying…
New In Box, Nadia Grilli leather sequin snakeskin print ballet flats, size 36 (may even fit 36 1/2)

Never worn Forever 21 super soft knit thermal dress in small

Worn once, New In Box Marc Jacobs suede and leather heels, 36


I'll be listing a whole lot more tonight including (but not limited to) a fab Balenciaga knock-off bag (of course I can't say it's a knock-off on Ebay so I'm just listing it as a moto bag - real red soft leather though!), vintage brown Gloria Vanderbilt riding boots in perfect condition and rust-colored new with tags bubble dress, perfect for fall.

Please follow this link and return often as I will be listing even more stuff over the week: EBAY LINK

What NOT to wear - for you

So it’s been a few hours now being in the office without supervision and I am starting to go crazy. See, I do have a list of things that must get done, however I’ve got to find a way to stretch out those things until my boss gets back. If I did them all right now, what would I do tomorrow? What really bugs me though is how I am getting a lot of requests to do things or fix things, however I can’t help anyone! Not only do I not know how to do most things but they all rely on the approval of my manager (who is in Seattle till Wednesday). So I have to apologize to all these people over and over again that I am new and can’t help them and that they have to sit tight till Wednesday.

Anyway as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I probably will start blogging everyday this week. Now I know that my boss is gone until Wednesday but with not much to do I foresee myself writing up the odd blog post in word and then saving them for a rainy day when I don’t have much to say or simply don’t have the time.

So here is another fashion-centric post for you to chew on.

As I had said before in the previous post, everyone has their own style which is influenced by a multitude of factors. In general we all know what tends to work on us and what doesn’t and for most I think this is put to the test every Fall and Spring when the fashion collections come out and the trends start their parade.

I’m a bit on the fence about trends. I don’t tend to follow them, mainly because I have an aversion to wearing clothes that everyone else wears *which is exactly why I order from stored outside of Canada or online stores or vintage stores, so that the chance of me wearing the same item of clothing as someone else is slim. I have been doing this for a year with Forever 21, ever since I discovered that they finally started delivering in Canada. Unfortunately I am not the only one who does this now and on the streets of Vancouver I recognize more and more of F21s stuff. I used to feel pretty special in those clothes because before you had to drive to Seattle to get it but now I guess the secrets out that anyone can order it from anywhere. I’m contemplating finding a new hidden source of cheap clothing….* and I fear that when I wear something trendy I will look like, well, like I am trying to be trendy. Or that I will resemble everyone else on the street. However, I do appreciate trends when it is something you’ve always wanted to wear but haven’t had the guts to, it kind of gives you permission. I totally ate up the gladiator sandal trend because it provided ankle coverage for my feet’s surgical scars – in fact, I was wearing gladiator sandals before they were even in.

Which actually kind of bugged me since when I first did it two years ago, it was unusual (again not trying to be fashion forward here but it was out of necessity) and then when I wore them this year, I felt like I was “trying.” Meh.

What I am trying to say is that a couple of years ago you wouldn’t be caught dead in bright yellow skinny jeans but thanks to American Apparel, you can do it and not get flak for it. I, of course, would never be caught dead in skinny yellow jeans. It took me three years to finally buy a pair of skinny jeans!

Which brings me to my next point – with all the trends, new and old, that are around or have come into your life somehow, which things are you unable to wear? There are lots of people out there who have an uncanny ability to make every trend work (usually model-types or those with uber confidence) but for the rest of us we just admire the looks from afar and wish we could pull it off. And sometimes it’s not a matter of pulling it off but that it’s just “not you” to the extent that your friends would do a double take (and not in a good way).

So what can’t you wear? Due to my poorly constructed feet, I can not wear stiletto heels (or any heels) that go over 3 inches, which sucks since heels are just getting higher and higher these days.

I won’t wear plaid shirts (grunge aint me).

I don’t even own a pair of shorts (and haven’t since I was 15) so you can bet I won’t be wearing gauchos to work.

Boyfriend jeans have to be worst trend I have ever seen and very few can pull it off – on me it would look ridiculous, fat and dirty: holes (ew), rolled up ankles (ewe w) and big baggy uppers (ew ew ew).

Bowler hats (or any hat really. I have a nice vintage cloche and have flirted with fedoras but…it’s just not me. I know I do suit hats since I have a small head but when I wear them I feel like I stand out and not in a good way.

Most sneakers – just not my style. Too casual.

Light denim – unflattering, not sleek enough, too casual, can’t do it.

Jumpsuit – ha, can anyone?

Pleated pants – see above.

Lots of bracelets, layers of necklaces, many rings – I wear earrings and that’s when I remember to put them in. I can’t stand the feel of things on my wrist, on my fingers or around my neck so when I do wear them it’s for a special occasion and I will be glad to remove them soon after.

Turtlenecks – ok this isn’t a trend but unless it’s a floppy cowl type turtleneck, it’s a no-go on me.

Shirt and tie – I would look like I am trying to be Avril Lavigne.

Animal print – Confession: I did just buy an animal print pencil skirt and so far I am making it work. As long as everything else is black and simple. I’ve been eyeing a few cheetah/tiger print dresses (simple sheaths) but I’m afraid I’ll look too Lisa Rinna.

Lots of layers – wish I could pull on the effortless chic look of layering (and it appeals to me since I’ve noticed I’ve been super cold lately in the office) but I don’t know if my body is too bulky for it or I just don’t have the right items.

Scarves – I am trying. When I was in Finland, everyone, I mean EVERYONE, had a scarf tied effortlessly around their necks. It looked so cool and European and yet when I did it, I looked like an idiot. Now the idea has finally hit our shores and even though I see scarves everywhere, I still feel like I can’t pull it off. Am I wrapping/wearing it wrong? I think I may have to devote a new blog post to this…in the meantime, I found this video to be quite informative.

A beret – oh how I wish. See hats (above).

Penny loafers – ugh.

Patterned tights – I am still easing myself into coloured versions, so the patterns may never come. However I am a fan of fishnets so who knows…

Vest – I was a little against them until I started work and starting to realize that they make a casual shirt look a bit more professional. But I haven’t taken the plunge. A lot of people can pull the look off but it might be too Tomboy for my style.

Headbands – doesn’t suit my hair, I don’t think. Not sure it suits my style either, too preppy. Which brings me to…

Preppy – A white shirt under a rugby sweater? A kilt? A bowtie? Anything that screams “Gossip Girl” isn’t for me, though it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate watching others tackle the trend.

Shoulder bags/messenger bags – anything with a LONG strap I don’t like, though the latter works great when you are traveling.

Whew, well I know I have more things but this should be enough for now. This took me till lunch time!

And so that my amusement continues, I beg you to tell me what trends/styles YOU can’t wear or at least think you can’t wear!


PS What inspires me today (to at least get new glasses and try a floral dress)? This shot of this lovely woman, taken by The Satorialist in Milan.

Style Influence

Warning: for the next two days at work I am going to be completely alone in my department. The director of Marketing is hiking the Himalayas, the graphic artist is in Bali and my Manger is in Seattle. I only found out about this on Friday. It's all pretty bad timing considering I just started work two weeks ago or so and don't really know everything that I should be doing yet. And there is no one to ask so my boss said to just not worry if people ask me to do things as she will handle it when she gets back on Wednesday.

Which means...I'm not going to have much to do for the next two days. Which means you may see a few more blog posts than usual this week. As I will be bored.

Anyway, I have a feeling since I have been in "fashion mode" for the last month or so that most posts will be fashion-oriented. Starting with this one...

It would be hard to describe my style in a few words, it's more that if I see something in a store I might say "oh that's so me." I guess if I had to, my style is a hybrid of "classic, feminine, romantic with a sprinkle of edgy."

The edgy part keeps things from being too "sweet." And usually comes from either makeup, earrings or a jacket. I think the edgy part has always been a part of me and has come out more now that I find myself associating with artists and rockstars for the last year and a bit.

What I find interesting though is that A LOT of what I wear is influenced by my body type. I buy a lot of loose and flowy tops, mainly because I don't want to show my waist or stomach (hello constant bloating) and I wonder, if I was 10 pounds skinnier and had a super flat stomach, would I still wear floaty tops? It's hard to say...I do like the look of it I must admit, paired with a skinny bottom of course. And when I WAS skinnier, I was still attracted to that look. So who knows. Maybe it's learnt.

After all, back when I was WAY chunkier and 19, I wore long skirts ALL THE TIME. Why? Because I hated my fat thighs and thought pants made them look horrible. So I wore long skirts. Yet I wore really tight and revealing tops when I really shouldn't have. Talk about pudge!

And yet now, my thighs are probably more or less the same size but I'm actualy wearing skinny jeans. SKINNY JEANS! I'm not kidding myself, I know they look better on women with stick legs. But I believe there is a place for skinny jeans in my life, so as long as I still look OK - after all I think skinny jeans are fantastic for showing off shoes or tucked into boots. I think I've just come to accept my thighs. They could be better but I like to remind myself that Beyonce has my thighs and she pulls it off...plus when you look at Magna cartoons or drawings of sexy women superheroes, they all have healthy looking thighs (to match their healthy looking boobs).

I also find my style to influenced on my mood...today I am wearing grey H&M tights, pink corduroy and pewter leather Marc Jacobs heels (PS I may sell them on Ebay if you're interested) and a black dress I got for 10€ in Rome. I put my hair up without brushing it and have a swipe of red lipstick on. If you can't tell, I spent the morning perusing Street Fashion blogs from Paris so no doubt that this influenced how I dressed today.

A lot of my style I think comes from my imagination - sometimes I like to pretend to be someone else. Usually not too far from "me," I mean no one is going to look at me and ask what the hell happened. But I notice a have alot of vintage influence...whether it be shift dresses or fishnets. Maybe its like a vintage version of me that pops up in small doses.

So what influences your style? Is it where you live? Your friends? Your body? Your past? Films? Celebrities? Your hair colouring and skin tone? Or, like me, a combination of all of the above...is there a certain piece of clothing that if I were to see it would be "soooo YOU?" Can you describe your style? I wanna know!

The Sleep Myth?

Stepping away from politics for a while (hopefully forever - no wonder I was so disinterested in them before, what a pain in the ass!), I am attempting to put a common myth to rest. Or perhaps not.

Question to YOU dear reader: How much sleep do you get per night and is it enough for you to be able to function normally???

I don't know about you but I have grown up with the whole "You MUST get 8 or more hours of sleep per night or else" vendetta.

And this alone has caused me a lot of sleeping problems, believe it or not.

Because when you are told that you are useless or your health is in danger or your gonna get fat or whatever the newest study is, if you don't get at least eight hours, well, that's the kind of thing that's going to keep you up at night!

And I do agree with it...to an extent. But I've noticed sometimes when I get 9 or 10 hours, I am just as tired as if I got 7 hours. And I am more likely to stay awake fretting away that my "8 hours" is running out.

I mean, think about. If you are anything like me and you start believing that you can't function on less than eight, you try and plan your bedtime accordingly. For example, you wake up at 7:20 AM which means you have to be in bed and ASLEEP by 11:20PM in order to get your eight hours. And this is not always doable. Life gets in the way, whether it be your bf who stays up playing video games, the episode of Futurama you wanted to watch or your bff texting you just as you are dozing off.

Suddenly your eight hours is dissapearing and you start worrying. And then the clock starts ticking away and before you know it it's one in the morning and now you REALLY can't sleep because you are freaking out cuz now you are going to be braindead tomorrow and your whole day is ruined.

Of course we all need sleep. But I think it's a completely individual thing. I've come to realize that a LOT of it is mental...and a lot is figuring out what works for you. I will NEVER be a morning person, no matter how much I sleep, but I do know that I feel less tired if I get 6 1/2 - 8 1/2 hours of sleep - SOLID SOUND SLEEP, mind you. Any less and I do suffer...and guess what, anymore and I don't think it makes any difference.

Of course sleeping in on the weekends FEELS nice because it really is a great indulgence, knowing you don't have to get up. But my bf and I have actually been waking up after about 8 hours of sleep anyway so I guess our bodies really do know best. If I stay in bed any longer it's not because my body wants me to but because I CHOOSE to.

Anyway, I'm rambling obviously, but I was always curious to see how much sleep other people need...so let me know!

PS - to actually read an informative and realistic article on sleep, please click here. It's from TIME and it's one of the few that actually questions the whole "You need eight hours" thing.

Another boring blog post

Well, today Canada had their election and the party that I voted for won.

I'm not here to gloat - it's not that I really LOVE Stephen Harper or that I associate myself with being a Conservative. But it came down to the fact that I liked his plan a Hell of a lot more than I liked the opposition's plan. And that comes down to my own personal opinion.

Funnily enough, aside from my bf and me and very small handful of other people our age, we aren't actually in the majority with our thinking. We are in the minority - and our "friends" don't seem to have a problem with telling us how wrong we are for voting the way we did.

Look, politics (like religion) are tricky subjects but in the end it all comes down to what you believe in and NO ONE has any right to pass judgement on you for your beliefs. NO ONE.

So I voted Conservative? So what? Does this make me a bad person? Does this make everyone who votes for the party that you don't like a "bad person?"

I can understand why young people vote Liberal and NDP...maybe they want to "fight the man" or do it because all other young people are doing it. Hell, maybe I would have voted Liberal too if they had a different leader (Trudeau) and a different plan. Anyway, all the parties have good points and bad points and good reps and bad reps and I think as long as people are voting for what they believe in then that's great - democracy at work. After all, a lot of countries out there don't even have this choice.

Even down in the States...I mean, it's great that people get so worked up for the country but just because someone is a Republican doesn't mean they want to shoot you and send you to Hell, just as being a Democrat doesn't mean you're gonna waste a lot of money and "pall around with Terrorists." People just vote for what they thinks works for them and their country. Yes, sometimes its obviously not a good choice (ahem Bush) but you can't fault people who have the best interests at heart (though of course this isn't always the case).

Anyway I'm just tired of people who don't respect your views or start basing your character on how you vote. Yeah I voted Conservative - but so far I think the government has done a good job. I believe in abortion rights and gay rights and thus far we still have all of those too - and yeah I probably would vote differently if those things were on the line and maybe that will come to fruition at some point. But I still think my country is doing great, considering what's going on right now in the world and I think our re-elected leader will continue to do what I consider to be a good job. At least I can hope so.

After all, that's all we really have, hope for our country and the future. Sometimes...well, most of the time, that changes as politicians are all big fat liars anyway.

But we should at least support each other's choice to vote for the big fat liar of their choice.

On The Bright Side

In this topsy-turvy world economy which sees jobs being slashed, countries going bankrupt and no one bidding on my reasonably-priced Ebay items, there is one thing you can depend on. The bank.

No- not any bank, just any Canadian bank. According to the new World Economic Forum, our banks are the soundest in the world, beating out Sweden, Luxemborg and Australia for the top prize.

I know that if Canada went into a recession it would be bad – in theory – but so far, I must admit I like what’s going on right now. Gas is suddenly cheap (ish) again! Interest rates are going down! Real estate prices are going down! And our money is safe and cozy in the banks, gaining miniscule amounts of interest. The only drawback is that our currency is also going down but as long as it doesn’t start cramping my upcoming trip to Disneyland, I’ll deal.

Now if I only I could get all my credit cards to lower their interest to say-1% - and all would be well with the world.

October

It's my favourite time of the year!

The air is getting crisp but the sun still warms you. The leaves are changing colour, Thanksgiving smells are in the air (in Canada, at least) and my favourite day, Halloween, is right at the end.

This October is also wonderful for many other reasons.

1) My Rockstar has beem moved in for a week now and I couldn't be happier. Even though it's a small, small place, we aren't on each other's nerves. He goes out for band practice, I go out with friends or have "me time." Or we both have me time where I read or scour the web for clothing deals while he plays Monkey Island or Final Fantasy. Yes, apparently he is a closeted nerd but that only makes me love him more (though Monkey Island is pretty cool). Sure it was a pain getting all his stuff in here but we are making it work and it doesn't feel cramped at all - and I do like having an Xbox and having vintage Transformers all over the place (especially the one that turns into a triceratops - I used to have that one!)

2) Oh and I got a job :P - A good job. A really good job. Like, a career.

Yeah, funny story.

Remember a few posts back I told you about how I lipped off that recruitment agency lady and said she didn't exist and that all recruitment jobs were fake?

And how she called me back and wanted to prove me wrong?

And how I went into the interview with them, was tested on Excel (AGAIN) and was sent to an interview for an engineering company?

Well - turns out the engineering company really liked me and I am their new "Marketing and Communications Assistant"!

I started last Wednesday and so far it's pretty cool. I wanted to get into marketing for quite awhile and though I had a bit of schooling I never had the experience. But these people saw some potential in me and suddenly I am in the Corporate Marketing Department for the Canadian version of this global company (that has 40,000 employees world wide).

I get three weeks vacation. A cushy corner office (well it's in a corner and has a window - I managed to sidestep the cubicles!). Full and immediate benefits (like having 100% of my prescriptions covered). RRSPs that they match (that's 401Ks for you Americans). Stock options (ha, I'll wait on that one for a bit). They have flex time hours (ie, I could work 9 hours on Mon-Thurs and then work 4 hours on Friday). They pay for your gym membership. I get overtime. And the pay is VERY good, initially - although after ALL the taxes are taken off, it's not that good after all. Damn the government!).

Plus, I'm writing. Everyday! Whether it's for the blog or newsletter, I'm doing it!

There's only one drawback and that's the location - it's about a half hour drive away. Now I know I shouldn't complain...BUT I will anyway. Just because I was supposed to sell me car and now that's probably not going to happen for awhile.

You see, it is accesible by public transit...but I don't think I can stand doing it twice a day, everyday.

I know this because I tried it out on my second day of work. Bad idea...

I knew in my mind how to get there, I just wasn't too sure of the times. I severly underestimated public transit.

I caught the bus outside my apartment about 5 minutes later than I thought I would. Then the bus took about 5 minutes later than I thought it would to get to the Skytrain. Then I got on the wrong skytrain. Then I realized I left my void cheque at home and that the Payroll lady would be upset if she didn't get it.

So I had to make a quick decision...do I continue on and be late without the cheque? Or do I go home, get the cheque and still be late (nee later). So I went home. I was still downtown but not in walking distance. So instead of getting back on the Skytrain or getting the bus, I hailed a cab. Which took 10 minutes. Then I took the cab back to my place and was planning to just drive to work. Then I realized that I had no gas. So I took the same cab to work - and arrived a half hour late and forty dollars poorer. Luckily they were understanding (I had called them earlier) and I just stayed later.

Then there was the getting home part. I caught the bus right outside work and took it to the Skytrain station. Luckily that only took 10 minutes even in traffic. But then I didn't get off the Skytrain when I should have and got off at a dead end. But there was a bus waiting that took me to a street in which I could get another bus. Unfortunately the other bus only comes once in a blue moon and when it did finally roll up, it was PACKED to the doors. Only it didn't say it was full so me and three other people got on.

We were kind of waiting for people in the bus to move back when the bus driver mumbled (seethingly, through his teeth), "I'm giving you ten seconds...."

I had no idea who he was talking to but he wasn't closing the doors. Finally he flipped his wheel up and spat out, "Can't you people tell when a bus is full? Do we have to tell you to do everything? For Gods'sake get off the fucking bus!"

I was appalled, as was the other three people. "Sorry, you could have just told us it was full and we wouldn't have gotten on."

He just barked at us some more. Seriously, I have NEVER been treated like that by a bus driver before.

Anyway, so we had to wait another 20 min for another bus (I could have walked home by that time) and by the time I made it my door, I was starting to think that maybe driving would actually be less stressfull than public transit.

The next day, I drove to work and it took an easy 25 minutes. That pretty much sealed the deal.

Good News!

That's all I'll say for now. If you're on my Facebook then you already know! I'll post about it in the next two days when I have more to say - not that I don't already :)

Cheers!

Lusty

The curse of the Louboutins

It's fall. I'm unemployed and I don't eat much.

All of the above lead to compulsive, impulsive shopping habits with money that I don't have. Add a dash of insecurity about my flawed feet and you get one big mess of designer shoes.

I bought the most awesome pair of Marc Jacobs boots off of Ebay the other day. They were so awesome that I actually started drooling when I saw them. For realz. You know how I love my boots.

The price tage though was $365, which was a heck of a lot but considering it was orignally $1075, I figured it was a good deal.

It didn't stop there though. I moved onto Christian Louboutins, the re-soled, uber-sexy and uber-pricey shoes that fashionistas covet.

I am not a fashionista but I decided to covet them anyway.

I tried on a patent leather, kitten heeled pair at Holt Renfrew and immediatley felt elated. Magic shoes. Magic shoes with status soles that would erase all insecurities and hardships that I have felt about my feet. Magic shoes that would protect me at an upcoming wedding this weekend and make me forget about my ugly scars.

Magic shoes that cost $595.

I hemmed and hawed about it for a few days. In the end it came down to the fact that I was selling my car anyway so I would need some fabulous "walking" shoes. Plus giving up your car is hard - I needed to be consoled.

I bought the shoes and tried to not feel too sick about it.

But I did later. I could justify that price for amazing shoes if indeed the shoes were amazing (they looked amazing, I thought) and if I could wear them for a million years.

But the shoes were in fact CURSED~!

Already in the store, I walked around and the heel lift started to twist at the bottom. I couldn't feel it but when I looked at the shiny scarlet soles again, I saw it move. Immediatley I told the sales girl who took them down to the cobbler to be fixed.

20 minutes later I had the shoes and was assured that the heels would never move again.

Later that evening, I was helping the Rockstar move some stuff into my apartment (ah yes, moving day is approaching. More on that next post). The heel started to twist again.

And the shoes started slipping off my feet with every step.

So the next day I took the shoes back to Holt Renfrew and complained. They wouldn't take them back THE BASTARDS but they did send them off to get fixed, AGAIN, overnight so that I would have them for the wedding.

Next day I got the shoes back. I saw the lifts had been replaced (basically the rubber tip at the end of the heel). One problem down.

But they still fell off my feet, which for the life of me I can't understand since they fit in the store AND they are supposed to be sized small AND they are already half a size smaller than normal.

So I place insoles in them. Better. Except now my toes in the front were SO painfully squished together that I had to pad them all with bandaids and then some.

And the next day they were still slipping (though my toes weren't going anywhere). So I had to stick in heel liners too. This worked pretty good.

Until I was at the wedding and lost the heel liners. So my toes were painfully squished, the shoes slipped off with every step AND the stupid heel started twisting again! Now I know that these shoes are generally very well made but why did I have to get the defective pair? Punishment for spending a lot on shoes I guess but let me tell you, I have PAYLESS shoes that are millions of years old and they never had this trouble.
My shoes, me and the handsome Best Man
And then the actually lining of the shoe started coming unglued.

And then the icing on the cake? My boyfriend accidently spilled beer in them.

Good ol' beer puddle in my Christian Louboutins.

Now Holt Renfrew REALLY won't take them back, if not for that then for the soles which are all scratched up.

They are going up on Ebay tomorrow. If any of you are part of the occult and would like a pair of cursed shoes, please bid. You won't be sorry!

The Older I Get, The Bolder I Get

So it has begun. The job hunting and all its follies that plagued me throughout the summer. I'm in talks with the production company next week, about what I don't know but I guess they are thinking it over whether they still want to hire me or not. I'm not sure why they won't, after all I have a list of all the stuff I would be doing (had the government granted the mentorship to begin with) and well, they NEED someone to do this stuff. Plus I was going get paid peanuts anyway.

But I'm not crossing my fingers and hoping. I'm being proactive and applying EVERYWHERE anyway, just in case and what have you.

And this means of course dealing with the dreaded RECRUITMENT AGENCIES.

Yup. I've probably sent my resume to about FIFTY recruitment/hiring firms over the last 5 months and as you all know, they are all shit and never get back to you EVER.

Well, after sending the umpteenth resume to a certain firm, I noticed someone on Craigslist had posted a warning about them, basically stating what I thought to be true, that they are all fake jobs that are posted just to get resumes, etc.

So I decided to email the firm again and flat out asked if they were full of shit or not. Since there was a certain staff member whom usually puts out the ads, I asked if she was actually a real person or if they had made her up, like they made up all of their jobs.

Well, five minutes later, my phone rang.

It was said person stating (in a scary, brusque voice) that she did indeed exist.

Then explained a bit (or defended) why she never got back to me over ANY of the billions of resumes I sent (she actually knew who I was) and said I was usually dismissed because of my GOD DAMN Journalism degree - apparently there are no jobs for that, and I know that too since I apply for only admnin jobs, and I guess she didn't know how serious I was about taking any damn job.

Well, to make things short, she asked me to come in next week. She said she wants to talk with me and see what we can do - worst case scenario she can get me temp work.

So I guess calling someone you don't know a liar can really pay off.

We'll see at any rate - I'm not expecting anything. Just thought it was funny. The older I get, the more I don't give a shit, the more I speak my mind. How great

****

So some of you may bitch slap me over this, but I've been taking this stuff this week:


A mix of palm and wheat oil and yucky vanilla flavour, you take these creamer-type shots in the morning and perhaps again in the afternoon. What it does is the oil (like most oils such as olive) takes a long time to digest and sits in your intestines, making you feel full.

It says it makes you eat about 30% less a day and you know what, its totally true.

This week I've only taken in 1000 calories a day (yes I know, bad, borderline anorexia so sue me) and I'm not ravenous or hungry. Yes, I get MENTAL cravings for things all time, but this is not out of hunger and I just have to ignore it - particularly when I am bored.

I'm not planning on being on this for more than two weeks as I am sure somehow your body will eventually find out that it is being fooled but its all good. Like today, I didn't take mine and I still didn't feel hungry. If this is all placebo, who cares, its working. Last week I was eating around 1300 calories or so and I was RAVENOUS the whole time - I freaking bought a bunch of broccoli and ate the whole thing because I was THAT hungry. But now, its smooth sailing and I'm very happy.

And you know me and my tricky tummy, I haven't felt any adverse side effects. Except dizziness on occasion from lack of food - but dont worry, on days I work out I do eat more, about 1500 calories.

So if you were curious about these, I say give them a try. From their website you can try them for $9 for a month or two-week supply. I'm not sure if they are good for people trying to lose a lot but for someone like me who is ONLY trying to lose 6-10 pounds, its great.

@##&*%%%!!!

What does that mean? It means that the internship/mentorship with the production company that they assured me I would get (I believe I had a 90% chance) is not coming my way.

I just got the rejection letter from the Canadian Government (WHICH I HATE) today. No real reason for the rejection, in the end it’s just a big fat no.

Now I am so disappointed. This was my dream job (though how many times have I said that this year), it “fell” into my lap. Now it is whisked away LIKE SO MANY OTHER DAMN JOBS!

I feel so badly for the production company too because they were SO certain I was going to work for them – they kept sending me emails saying, “so excited for you to join our team.” BUT NO. Though they have been granted an internship worker every year, the year I APPLY, they get rejected.

Bet they really regret taking a chance on me now.

And what do I get to do? Fret for the next two weeks over getting a new job. Not that I haven’t done enough of that this year.

Fuck my life.

What I loved

FACT: I've always wanted to write a successful children's/teenager book series - this is actually a life goal for me and something I think I can do. Maybe not now, but it will happen. And I already have a few concrete ideas in mind.

So what books did I myself enjoy as a child?

Well, the number one series that I LOVED was The Babysitters Club. And if you remember that series at all, you have to check out THIS BLOG. FUCKING HILARIOUS!

What did I love about this series? Well, it had everything - romance, ghosts, horses. I loved it all, except all the damn babysitting business. Didn't like children when I was 12 and I still don't! LOL.

But what do I really remember about the series? Well here are some things off of the top of my head:

-Mary-Anne Spier totally did a turn around when she became Dawn's stepsister (hence the title of the book "Dawn's Wicked Stepsister"). She went from a meek and indifferent girl (at least I was indifferent) to a fucking psycho bitch. And why was SHE the one with the "hot" redneck boyfriend, who looked like a total douche on all the covers. In Maryanne's defense though, as squeamish and exasperatingly shy as she was, she did have a good sense of humour.

-Kristy Thomas. A turtleneck with jeans. I can not wear this outfit without thinking of you, though I must wonder WHY is a turtleneck with a jeans a "tomboy" outfit? At least put her in a wifebeater and surfer shorts. Kristy was also loud and brash (and liked to sit in a director's chair) but I didn't mind it as much as the other characters did. So, she didn't wear makeup. SHE WAS 13! Fucking hated her little sister Karen though - on all the covers she was just the nastiest looking girl you'd ever see.

-Claudia Kishi. WAS SO COOL! No not really, I have no idea what Ann M. Martin was going for when she dressed her up. A sample of Claudia's AWESOME sense of style? Earrings the size of doorknobs. Hair piled to one side of her head with clips shaped like seashells. Purple "leggings." A long man's shirt with huge appliques of vegetables plastered all over it.

I'm seriously tempted to find all my books and start posting what she wore from every novel, it would be hilarious.

Claudia was quite funny though and she was worse at Math than I was which made me feel better. And her love of Nancy Drew novels was endearing. But even though she was half-Japanese, she never ate any sushi and that really disappoints me. She also hid candy all over her room. You know that right now, at age 25 or whatever, Claudia Kishi is one big fat tub of lard.

-Dawn Schaffer was my favourite because she was laid-back, had looooong blonde hair (which, btw, NEVER looked that long on the covers and which really pissed me off)and had a mom that left her keys in the fridge. They also had a house with a ghost (the Ghost at Dawn's House) which I thought was AWESOME. Dawn had come from California and ate a lot of sprouts, avocado, yogurt and granola. Which seemed weird at the time but now it's just obvious her mom shopped at Whole Foods.

-Stacey. I forget her last name. Anyway, Stacey was the pretty diabetic girl (OOOH HOW CONTROVERSIAL) from New York. Stacey, in my opinion, was a snob and a bitch. She would often lament how people thought she was a snob but she never mentioned that people also thought she was a selfish bitch. Cuz she was. Go ahead, eat the candy!

-Mallory Pike. She had red-hair and freckles and seven brothers and sisters. Enough said.

-Jessie Ramsay. She was a ballerina. She was also African American, which in their whitebread Nazi town, was ALMOST as bad as having diabetes!

I especially loved the Super Series – they were quite atmospheric. The blizzard one, the California one (where Mallory gets obsessed with makeup and dies her hair BLONDE – can you imagine how ugmo she musta looked?) , the one where they all went to camp (stupid Stacey fell asleep in poison ivy), the one when they went to the ski resort, the one where they went sailing and ended up on a desert island.

There are a few books too that I loved more than others. I liked it when Mary-anne and Stacey went to “Sea City.” I liked “Claudia and the Phantom Phone caller.” “Mary-anne’s bad luck mystery” “Ghost at Dawn’s House” “Goodbye Stacey, Goodbye” (YES THANK GOD!) “Dawn on the Coast” (so CALI-awesome), “Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook” “Dawn and the We Love Kids Club” and etc. I actually didn’t read many books past the #50 mark. Looking back, I now find it odd the last book written was “The Fire at Dawn’s House” – does that mean they all died in it?


Other books that I loved as a child was:

-The Saddle Club Series (I may have to devote a post to that one)

-Fear Street (although I HATED how at the end of every book it was always found to be a “rational” explanation – it’s FEAR street. Let there be reason to fear! What also got me was the fact that WHY oh why was everyone living on this street?) For a funny look at Fear Street as we know it, click here

-Christopher Pike – not technically a series but these horror teen books always stayed with me. I recently bought a bunch at a used store and am looking to start reading them again (I can finish one in a day). I remember one called Monster which was fucking nuts –it started off with some party where some guy showed up with a shotgun and started blowing people away. I distinctly remember being awed by phrases “his pink guts started to slide down the wall.” I also remember one that I think was called Whisper of Death. From what a recall, a girl goes in to get an abortion and when she wakes up, she finds there is no one left in her town (or the world). I’m not sure if this was an pro-life novel or not but I certainly second guessed abortions after reading it, lest I wake up to an empty world and have a witch (who used to be your friend) living in your womb and stabbing you with sewing needles.

For funny recap of all books PIKE click HERE

-Sweet Valley Twins AND Sweet Valley High - of course! Curious as to how you would view these books (The Hills before The Hills), visit the SVH blog


-The Secret Circle – this was an awesome trilogy about witches. I’m tempted to dig up my old copies and give a bit of a read again.

Shaking up the South

-I know it’s not my country, and maybe that’s why I find this all so amusing, but I really love what Sarah Palin has done to the USA at the moment.

-Before I go any further, I must say that my views contradict most Republican views: I am Christian, yes, but I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage and pro-environment (not very “green” though, but more on the animal side of things). If I were voting in the States, I would be with the Democratic Party. I think. Though last time I voted I did vote Conservative (Canada’s republican) – just cuz I was bored of the Liberals being in power for so long.

-Maybe I would be classified as an independent voter? Who cares really, the thing is I normally DON’T care. Politics bore me to tears. I don’t feel strongly for one side or another. They are all liars in my opinion. I know it’s good to care about politics and I’m sure some of you will stress its importance, but I’m just being honest. I have no business or interest in it.

-But I do have to say that McCain’s VP pick, Sarah Palin is delighting me. She’s loud, brash, SO Republican, has a messed-up family and a target of the media, press and democrats since Friday. And she's such the love child of Karen from Will and Grace and Tina Fey. Maybe with a tad of Stockard Channing thrown in.


-I especially love how her role is pissing off the democrats. The funny thing is, everything they are attacking her with is the exact same reason why she’ll appeal even more to the Republicans. Her 17-year old child is pregnant! Yes, she probably would have gained from Sex-Ed in high school but the fact is, the kid is having the kid, which totally appeals to the anti-abortionist crowd.

(on that note, I do think the press and media’s coverage – and a certain bloggers – opinion on the daughter is a bit unfair. Like I said, the mom probably didn’t do her job and discuss sex with her daughter – and I only say that because she was against sex-ed – but I don’t think that has much bearing on what happened. I’ve seen so many women get pregnant and all were well-informed about the risks. Women/teenage girls are there own people – if they wanna have sex, they’ll have sex. One would hope they would be responsible enough but as I’m sure some mothers would agree – it’s kinda outta their hands).

-Again, I would probably vote for Obama if I was a US citizen but I can’t help but love how everything is getting shaken up down there. Politics are getting excited and people are actually getting passionate about things, which hopefully means there will be more voters going to the polls. Anything to get the “non-voters” involved.

-A well-spoken black man for President. A hypocritical but ballsy woman for VP. It’s going be a great departure from the norm, no matter who wins. And a departure from the norm is surely what the US needs right now. I think that’s also why I am enjoying all this election hoopla (aside from the fact that it’s not actually my country’s election). Whether it goes to Obama or McCain, in the end it’s still not George W. Bush. And that’s an improvement on it’s own.

Shacking Up and STP

My bf and I went to the Stone Temple Pilots concert on Saturday and let me tell you, it was FUCKING AWESOME!

I know there was some naysayers at the show who might have dissapointed because they sounded too much like STP but you know what? I've waited TEN YEARS to see STP live and I am fucking GLAD that they sounded like themselves.

They played almost every song off of Thank You (meaning all the greatest hits) plus some songs from their earlier albums which weren't well known. Interstate Love Song, Sour Girl and Sex Type Thing were favs of mine and they saved best for last: Trippin on a Hole. I headbanged the crap outta that song - felt like I was 16 again!


In other news, The Rockstar and I are moving in together October 1st! YAY!

But the house-hunting is being put on hold - for the moment.

As you know, Vancouver is one of the most desirable cities to live in in the world (see previous post which a travel website picked up)and of course that means that prices are sky high.

We are approved for a 284k mortgage which is great but we can only really afford a 250k mortgage (keeping our payments low as possible). That's nice and all but the apartments we are looking at are in the 280-320K range which means we need a deposit of about 50-60K.

This is where my dad WOULD HAVE come in. My own apartment is not selling because the market has slowed and that's fine BUT my dad has 70K of his own money in my place, 70K of which he would have put towards our new place. But now he can't. HOWEVER, he did say he would put some in - providing that my boyfriend's father put in at least half.

My boyfriend's father is awesome. He's 55, handsome as hell and retired. He's made tons of money off of investments and this investment for him sounds like a good idea. He totally thinks it makes sense for us to buy our place instead of rent. However, he thinks we should wait 6 months because the market is bound to drop another 10%, meaning we will get a lot more bang for our buck.

It makes sense and my dad agrees too, of course. But it also means we have no choice but listen to our "investors." We wanna buy a place NOW but realistically that won't happen until March.

And so, my dear, poor lover will be moving in to my place next month.

Yep. My place. My teeny 430 square foot studio.

I'm not terribly excited about stil living in this damn place since I am SO sick of it and not that excited about waiting six months for the fun to begin.

But I am excited for us to be living together and that's what counts.

It's just not going to be easy, especially for someone like me who doesn't normally live well with others (I need alone time. A lot). And I like my early-t0-bed sleeping habits. And I like all the closet space possible.

But I know that somehow (somehow) we will persevere over the next six months. We will be in each other's hair a lot, we may even fight ocassionally (I wouldn't it past us) and it definitely will be the ultimate relationship test.

Yet the bright side is that we are doing it - together - and when this is all over (probably before we know it) we will be living in the sweetest most awesome apartment ever.

And it will be ours. OURS. Forever.

Here we go again!

OK folks, I'm gonna level with ya.

I've gained some weight lately.

Maybe it's not weight that anyone's really noticed, but I'VE noticed and that seems to be all that matters.

And it truly is just a little bit of weight, I guess. Two weeks ago I topped out at 138 and I was horrified. 138, if you remember, was the weight I was around this time last year. Then through a hardcore diet and exercise plan, I managed to lose 8 pounds and a bit more.

But as I started school back in February, I was no longer able to partake in the only calorie-burning exercise I didn't hate, which was spin class. My evening classes knocked out the evening spin sessions and I was left sedentary and disillusioned.

Yes, I did join a gym. But if you are anything like me, you LOATHE the gym and quit after 20 min on the treadmill cuz you are bored and had enough.

I needed the classes, I needed a reason to go and - more than that - I needed a reason to keep going. You can't quit in spin class, you have to endure.

Anyway, so my lack of exercise, combined with a vacation to Maui in which I ate and drank everything in sight (I still think it was worth it..maybe) and then a total relapse in diet led me to eventually gain all my weight back.

That's not to say I haven't been trying to lose it since school finished. I have. It's just my motivation levels were quite low. I watched what I ate, had a spin class or gym session here and there but it wasn't consistent and it certainly wasn't enough to start (or re-start) a habit.

So I've realized that in order for me to lose weight, I can't do it properly, which is to say slowly and gently. NO, I have to power on through like I did before, hardcore everything and then, finally, when I feel better again (and it has nothing to do with weight because this time, unlike last time, I AM building muscle and strength-training) then I can just maintain my weight.

When I do reach my goal weight in four weeks, does this mean pig out like last time? No. But it does mean allowing myself to eat more while still roughly counting calories (up to 1800) PLUS some exercise, which for me and hopefully everyone, is very important. Even if it's just twice a week, I will need that just to maintain the weight and stay strong. Yes, I have lost a bunch of weight before via the South Beach Diet where I did not exercise at all but I wasn't fit. I wanna be fit. Kick ass. Etc.

Anyhoo, I did Spin Class (which is mega intense and ranges from 45-60 min) 4 nights in a row this week and tomorrow morning - glorious Saturday morning when I should be sleeping - I am getting up at 8AM to do the morning class. Yeah, it's a bit much but I know myself enough by now to realize that A) do it while I can because next week I may have an excuse and B) if I don't do it every day or at least every other day, I will come to dread the workout and it will cease to be a habit. This a proven fact. The longer I go without exercise, the more I HATE it.

There is one thing though this time that is a lot different from the last time I did this regime. I AM FRICKIN STARVING.

No, I am not eating enough really, but that's the point of cutting calories. 1,200 calories a day. Which is actually OK for someone my height who isn't really overweight and only has a few pounds to lose. At that calorie count (which is the slowest you should go and still function) plus my exercise, I should lose 2 pounds a week.

But I am still starving. Last time I followed the same plan and I wasn't too bad, hunger-wise. This time, I'm just plain hungry. The only difference I can find is that THIS time I am at work, so though I am up and about, I am also chained to an Avid Editing system and bored at times. Many times. Which makes me think about food. And snacking. And so on.

I've decided to take the bull by the horns though and make some changes. I'm not used to this HUNGER feeling, I know in the past I ate because I was "craving" something or "emotionally" hungry but this is the real deal, your tummy is empty please fill it, kinda hunger.

So I've stocked up with low-cal foods that are either high in fibre and protein. Anything to keep my stomach from growling for a few hours.

I'll let you guys know how I get on by next week, and provide some diet-friendly filling foods for you guys as I discover them. Thankfully this extreme hoopla is only till the end of September and considering I am weighing 133.8 at this moment, it seems to be working.

Think I'll toast to that with a 4 0z glass of white wine!

(100 calories)

Make that two!

(200 calories - but worth it :)

Busy Bee

I have to admit, the other day I kinda forgot I had a blog. I mean, I knew I had one but it hadn't occurred to me that maybe I should write in it once in a while.

The reason for my absense (if anyone noticed) is because I have been just a busy little bee. And you know what? I actually despise being busy.

Last week I had something booked after work everyday....
Monday: Dinner with an old friend who was visiting in town.

Tuesday: Radiohead concert (which was FREAKING AMAZING btw - despite my boyfriend's friend who fainted due to too much pot...kinda pissed me off considering it happened during one of my favourite songs, Planet Telex).

Wednesday: met up with a friend I hadn't seen since 2002 - we had a bit of a falling out over things I don't remember but she used to be my best friend since we were wee and it's great that we reconnected.

Thursday: Jack Johnson concert, which was sweet.

Friday: Met with my realtor.

Saturday: Had a stagette party (which was so much fun - got to try pole-dancing for the first time and learned how to do a proper lap dance...my bf was in for a treat).

Sunday: Went with the realtor around the city and checked out apartments (more on house-hunting in the next post)....then went to my boyfriend's parents house for our usual Sunday dinner. Only this time, my mother was there too. EEEK! Despite the fact that we have been going out for 14 months, this was the first time our moms met. It was inevitable but luckily it all worked out for the best and everyone got along swimmingly.

Thankfully the only I have to do this week is go to spin class...and of course, see Stone Temple Pilots on Saturday night, providing Scott Weiland doesn't end up in jail before then. That man better behave!

I know there are a lot of people who thrive on being busy every waking moment. But that's just not for me. Nothing makes me happier than coming home and knowing I have no plans. There's no rush, no pressure and I can do whatever I please. The downside is after awhile it gets boring, so obviously you need a little balance.

But I would still rather take time to stop the roses. And I think that's what it all comes down to...TIME. Last week just flew by in a second and that kinda scared the crap outta me. I need quiet evenings and moments dispersed throughout my days, so I actually FEEL time around me. You know, when you just sit and you can actually feel like you are here, in the moment, feel like you are living and breathing and all of that.

Which is why I've decided that if we ever have kids (as most of you know, I am still on the fence about the whole thing), I'd ideally like to be a stay-at-home mom. Of course, at that point I will likely be knee-deep in the film biz and unwilling to give up my producing job or whatever the hell I am doing. But I just read about all these working mums these days who are constantly rushing from morning to night and I just can't stand doing that.

Again, it's my personality (ahem, lazy) and obviously I think a lot of busy working moms would rather NOT work, given the choice but they can't really afford to do it. And of course, a lot thrive on being busy and a lot love their jobs too much to give it up.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I guess what I am trying to say is in this "go go go" society it feels like life will pass you by in an instant if you don't take some time for yourself and just slow down every once in awhile.

OK. That last bit sounded a bit familiar....and now I know where from.

From the wise mouth of Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down and look around, you might miss it."

(Ferris and Mr. Rooney)

A Simple Twist of Fate

Back in April..... I was still in "Business Film" school and eagerly awaiting my future. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to land a job in the film industry but I had my usual naivete about things and figured it would all work out in the end. It did....but back then I thought the "end" would come much sooner.

I did my two-week internship as a development assistant at a big production company and promptly discovered my "dream" job. Here I was, on the sidelines, helping bring ideas to life. Sure, it was just an internship and I was doing tons of odd jobs but I realized that THIS is where I should be. This is what I went to school for to become. This is what I had always wanted to do, every since I saw Jurassic Park when I was 12 and decided I would BE in film. I would do this!

I totally thought my determination would help me secure a position within the company but sadly it did not. Then I thought my ambition would help me get a position with any OTHER film company. And sadly, it did not.

I applied absolutely everywhere - I went through the entire list of my province's producers and contacted them all directly. I worked my way through friends of friends, people I kinda knew, teachers etc, all hoping to network my way into a position in the film industry (after all, its who you know).

But nothing happened. Though the responses I got were all nice, they all said the same thing. Either "not right now, maybe later" or "you can work for free."

As has been the topic of this blog many a times, I will not work for free. Pay my dues, work from the bottom...YES. But for free? I have a mortgage, mouths to feed (mainly my own) and I'm 26. I'm done with the free shit.

So I kinda forgot about film and started to think maybe it wasn't such a good place to be. A place I wanted to be, yes, but the signs were all pointing to NO. Or, not right now.

And such I took the job at the ad agency, feeling so damn guilty about it. This wasn't film. This wasn't anything I just went to school for and it wasn't anything I was interested in. Luckily I didn't at ALL feel guilty about it when I quit 2 weeks later (as an aside, I've noticed the company reposting my position on Craigslist every month...yup, it seems that I was right to leave since no one else in my position can apparently handle the abuse either).

Then started my long, L O N G, foray into getting a job that I wanted and liked. I'm not going to go into much detail since you all damn know about it by now and are sick of it but to summarize: I applied for everything. Film, reception, admin, marketing, writing, journalism, communications, personal assistant, executive assistant, public relations, office manager. After awhile though, I realized that I was no longer going after my dream job. I was getting desperate. I would take anything - screw my dream job. After trying so hard, I knew I would be lucky to get anything.

And still! Nothing came! I had lots of interviews but they were always OH SO CLOSE. They never went where I wanted them to (employment, natch). Luckily, and I do mean this now, there was only one or two jobs which I really, REALLY wanted, so the blow wasn't too devestating when I didn't get them. One was the executive assistant job at the post production company. The other was marketing for an indie theatre company. Both had something to do with film and touched on my education. A sign right?

Well, just as I started to think I may just never get a job - even a job that I DON'T like - I got one. It wasn't the one I wanted because it was a low-paying contract 2-month position (I know you all know that but I digress) but I took it anyway.

It was something. It was film-related. It could one day lead me to where I wanted to go. I was willing to take a pay cut. I was willing to start from the bottom. It wasn't ideal but I was WILLING to make the best out of it. And I have.

Was there a chance of me continuing on after 2 months? Yes. Maybe. Most likely in an admin position, which again, wasn't ideal. But it was too soon to tell.

And so I did something I never did before; I stopped worrying about the future. I started living in the here and the now. I did not think about what lay beyond October. I just started going to work, enjoying the job (or at least not minding it) and my stress levels pretty much vanished over night. This is me, now, and this is me happy. Tomorow will worry about itself.

Then...the strangest thing happened. I had gotten several calls from a well-known local production company. I knew of this company because they were one of the companies that I REALLY wanted to work for back in April and had applied for (course, never heard back). I had also applied again in July for an internship position I saw advertised. It was paid and it was e x a c t l y what I wanted to do, the same kind of thing I had done on my previous internship. Only this one paid well (for an internship), was sponsored by the government and was for a minimum of six months.

I never heard back though and totally forgot about the whole thing until I started getting these voice mails from them. And then emails. I figured I had to get back to them at some point - after all, I had JUST accepted a position and I couldn't do the internship anymore but I still had to turn them down regretfully.

The guy there was totally cool and understood - he was disappointed though because they saw so much potential with me. That was a nice feeling, to be in demand FOR ONCE, but sadly it was not to be. Such is life. He wished me luck and said even though they need the internship filled now, maybe in October we can work something out.

I've heard that before so I didn't think much of it. Back to living in the day to day. October? That's way off.

Then on Monday I got an email from them, again. The guy told me that the head producer - someone very well-known in this country's industry, still wanted to meet with me. Like the next day. She wanted to see if we could work something out anyway.

And so suddenly, yesterday, I found myself sneaking away from the office at lunch time to attend an impromptu interview with said producer and crew.

And then a few hours later I was notified by phone that I they wished to hire me on for the internship.

What exactly just happened here?

Well, it means that together we are applying to the goverment for a mentorship program for producers. This prestigious program is only awarded to 20 pairings of producer/interns in the whole country. Is there a chance that despite the company picking me, we still may not be one of the 20? Of course. But given that every single intern that's applied with them has been chosen, well the odds are in my favour. More than in my favour.

I'll find out in six weeks, either way. And in six weeks my current contract job will be up which means I am free to start working for Production Company S.

And when I say work, I mean work. I will be an actual employee of the company. I will receive a nice paycheck (OK, when I mean nice, I mean I will still have to borrow some money from my parents each month but it's "nice" compared to all other internships...and a lot of other jobs out there). I will have full-time steady work until April. After which, they will give me a raise (providing I do well) and I will continue to work with them. If I end up like all the past interns, then great. They've all either stayed with the company and are development managers, screenwriters, script readers or producers or have gone on to do great things.

Most important of all, I get to be doing which I only dreamed of doing, which I had given up on doing and which I had regretfully accepted may never be in the cards for me.

And yet, here it is. A dream job internship just freakin' fell in my lap. And I was totally getting ready to accept that my career may never be as exciting and unusual as I had hoped it would be.

I know you've all said it before, and I will say it again, but seriously....good, nee, GREAT things happen to those who wait, to those who aren't looking and to those who learn to just enjoy what they've got.

No Complaints

So I officially completed my first week of work and I am amazed at what a difference having a job that you actually like makes to your life.

I guess I should first explain which job I have.

I did not get the job that I was really gunning for - and I wasn't upset over it either. I kinda knew, after all there were signs and for once I wasn't going to gamble on something that wasn't a sure thing.

It would have been a great job to have, mainly because it would be permanent and with benefits. But looking back, I realize now that I think I wanted the job for all the wrong reasons. I emphasized a lot how perfect I would be for the job because of my film and cinema knowledge (especially when it comes to classic films) and because the company dealt with classic and foreign cinema, I figured I would be a great match.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't think the actual 'job' part of the deal had anything to do with that. Yes, I would have done some marketing stuff, but I am not sure all of the reasons why I thought I would be good for it would have had any part. I think the people knew that too. I am not sure who they were looking for in the end, but it obviously wasn't me.

That's not to say I wasn't slightly miffed about not getting the position - after all, rejection is never fun. But I read somewhere that sometimes you only want something because it's available. Like the guy you would never look twice at....until you find out he likes you. Suddenly, you're all ears. Well, I think when we go to job interviews, the same thing happens. You start really, really wanting the job because you were lucky enough to get an interview. You start planning your future together when if you had never even gotten the interview in the first place, you probably would have forgotten about the company.

I also think you should never want something THAT much. Cuz it will never come to you.

But of course, all is not lost. I do have my position with the post-production agency. And after being there for a week already, I have found tons of wonderful things about it.

*Small company, everyone is really friendly

*No micro-managing! People leave me alone (I like working by myself!)

*I surf the net all day, seeking out lame ass stock footage videos. And when I say lame, I mean the actual stock footage is lame. Bad acting everywhere!

*I'm in the film industry...feels kinds good to end up where I always wanted to go

*NINE MINUTE COMMUTE!

*I work 10-6. Which means I leave my house at 9:45AM and I make it to work with five minutes to spare!

*I am doing more than post-production...my role is actually in development as well which is exactly where I want to be down the line

*I get to be in the film we are making...LOL....OK, it's an educational video and my job is to go through the script and shotlist and find out what footage we can buy previously filmed online and what we can't. Which means the footage we have to film ourselves...I get to be in! Yay for confused student #2!

*It also means that I am flying out to Glacier National Park in Montana in September to stay in a resort for a few days while filming. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Montana and I am so excited that this might actually happen! Doesn't hurt that the boss owns the resort too!

*Also, they might fly me out to Ottawa in the next few weeks to meet some of the producers. Finally, I get to see the other half of Canada...and the nation's capital to boot!

Most important of all, there is no stress. I show up, do what I can for the day (my task will take absolutely forever) and go home. I don't cringe in the morning (waking up at 9AM helps) and I'm not dying to leave either.

Of course, the two bad points are the low pay and the contract. But I think it'll work out for the best. Low pay is worth it if I like my job. The contract might be a blessing in disguise.

Mainly because I have an interview tomorrow with a prominent production company! I applied for a development assistant job awhile back and they finally got back to me, wanting an interview. I apologized and told them that I was just recently employed and that I couldn't take the interview - though made sure to let them know I would be done my current position in two months. Well, I guess they really like my resume or something because the main producer wants to meet me anyway in hopes that we can work together after my contract is up.

Seriously, so out of the blue. And funny how this was a company that I emailed a few times after I was done school, in April, wondering if I could work for them in any capacity.

Hopefully the interview will go fine tomorrow, I'm sure it will. Either way, I've got my current job so I'm staying focused on the present and not worrying about the future. And hey, if this company wants to offer me a job afterwards...then I'm one lucky duck.

In other news: my apartment is not selling! BOOOO! The market in Vancouver has just CRASHED and now is the worst time to sell...but best time to buy.

I am not sure what my options are really until my father talks with his accountants but ideally what I would want to happen is to rent out my apartment (will make at least $200 profit a month on it) and buy a place between the rockstar and I (and my father). It makes the most sense...especially since I can rent out this place for a pretty penny come the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics!

Anyway, fingers crossed that this all works out. I'm still gonna keep it on the market but I honestly can't lower the price or else we will lose money (we paid WAY too much to begin with...long story). But if it doesn't get any interest by September, I hope renting it will be the option we take.

In other OTHER news: My best friend is getting married! Congrats Kelly and Alex! I am SO excited to be the maid of honour and doubly excited that it means I'll be finally visiting Montreal next summer (where the wedding is). It's gonna be so much fun, and this is the first time I've been part of the wedding party, let alone MOH!