Good News!

That's all I'll say for now. If you're on my Facebook then you already know! I'll post about it in the next two days when I have more to say - not that I don't already :)

Cheers!

Lusty

The curse of the Louboutins

It's fall. I'm unemployed and I don't eat much.

All of the above lead to compulsive, impulsive shopping habits with money that I don't have. Add a dash of insecurity about my flawed feet and you get one big mess of designer shoes.

I bought the most awesome pair of Marc Jacobs boots off of Ebay the other day. They were so awesome that I actually started drooling when I saw them. For realz. You know how I love my boots.

The price tage though was $365, which was a heck of a lot but considering it was orignally $1075, I figured it was a good deal.

It didn't stop there though. I moved onto Christian Louboutins, the re-soled, uber-sexy and uber-pricey shoes that fashionistas covet.

I am not a fashionista but I decided to covet them anyway.

I tried on a patent leather, kitten heeled pair at Holt Renfrew and immediatley felt elated. Magic shoes. Magic shoes with status soles that would erase all insecurities and hardships that I have felt about my feet. Magic shoes that would protect me at an upcoming wedding this weekend and make me forget about my ugly scars.

Magic shoes that cost $595.

I hemmed and hawed about it for a few days. In the end it came down to the fact that I was selling my car anyway so I would need some fabulous "walking" shoes. Plus giving up your car is hard - I needed to be consoled.

I bought the shoes and tried to not feel too sick about it.

But I did later. I could justify that price for amazing shoes if indeed the shoes were amazing (they looked amazing, I thought) and if I could wear them for a million years.

But the shoes were in fact CURSED~!

Already in the store, I walked around and the heel lift started to twist at the bottom. I couldn't feel it but when I looked at the shiny scarlet soles again, I saw it move. Immediatley I told the sales girl who took them down to the cobbler to be fixed.

20 minutes later I had the shoes and was assured that the heels would never move again.

Later that evening, I was helping the Rockstar move some stuff into my apartment (ah yes, moving day is approaching. More on that next post). The heel started to twist again.

And the shoes started slipping off my feet with every step.

So the next day I took the shoes back to Holt Renfrew and complained. They wouldn't take them back THE BASTARDS but they did send them off to get fixed, AGAIN, overnight so that I would have them for the wedding.

Next day I got the shoes back. I saw the lifts had been replaced (basically the rubber tip at the end of the heel). One problem down.

But they still fell off my feet, which for the life of me I can't understand since they fit in the store AND they are supposed to be sized small AND they are already half a size smaller than normal.

So I place insoles in them. Better. Except now my toes in the front were SO painfully squished together that I had to pad them all with bandaids and then some.

And the next day they were still slipping (though my toes weren't going anywhere). So I had to stick in heel liners too. This worked pretty good.

Until I was at the wedding and lost the heel liners. So my toes were painfully squished, the shoes slipped off with every step AND the stupid heel started twisting again! Now I know that these shoes are generally very well made but why did I have to get the defective pair? Punishment for spending a lot on shoes I guess but let me tell you, I have PAYLESS shoes that are millions of years old and they never had this trouble.
My shoes, me and the handsome Best Man
And then the actually lining of the shoe started coming unglued.

And then the icing on the cake? My boyfriend accidently spilled beer in them.

Good ol' beer puddle in my Christian Louboutins.

Now Holt Renfrew REALLY won't take them back, if not for that then for the soles which are all scratched up.

They are going up on Ebay tomorrow. If any of you are part of the occult and would like a pair of cursed shoes, please bid. You won't be sorry!

The Older I Get, The Bolder I Get

So it has begun. The job hunting and all its follies that plagued me throughout the summer. I'm in talks with the production company next week, about what I don't know but I guess they are thinking it over whether they still want to hire me or not. I'm not sure why they won't, after all I have a list of all the stuff I would be doing (had the government granted the mentorship to begin with) and well, they NEED someone to do this stuff. Plus I was going get paid peanuts anyway.

But I'm not crossing my fingers and hoping. I'm being proactive and applying EVERYWHERE anyway, just in case and what have you.

And this means of course dealing with the dreaded RECRUITMENT AGENCIES.

Yup. I've probably sent my resume to about FIFTY recruitment/hiring firms over the last 5 months and as you all know, they are all shit and never get back to you EVER.

Well, after sending the umpteenth resume to a certain firm, I noticed someone on Craigslist had posted a warning about them, basically stating what I thought to be true, that they are all fake jobs that are posted just to get resumes, etc.

So I decided to email the firm again and flat out asked if they were full of shit or not. Since there was a certain staff member whom usually puts out the ads, I asked if she was actually a real person or if they had made her up, like they made up all of their jobs.

Well, five minutes later, my phone rang.

It was said person stating (in a scary, brusque voice) that she did indeed exist.

Then explained a bit (or defended) why she never got back to me over ANY of the billions of resumes I sent (she actually knew who I was) and said I was usually dismissed because of my GOD DAMN Journalism degree - apparently there are no jobs for that, and I know that too since I apply for only admnin jobs, and I guess she didn't know how serious I was about taking any damn job.

Well, to make things short, she asked me to come in next week. She said she wants to talk with me and see what we can do - worst case scenario she can get me temp work.

So I guess calling someone you don't know a liar can really pay off.

We'll see at any rate - I'm not expecting anything. Just thought it was funny. The older I get, the more I don't give a shit, the more I speak my mind. How great

****

So some of you may bitch slap me over this, but I've been taking this stuff this week:


A mix of palm and wheat oil and yucky vanilla flavour, you take these creamer-type shots in the morning and perhaps again in the afternoon. What it does is the oil (like most oils such as olive) takes a long time to digest and sits in your intestines, making you feel full.

It says it makes you eat about 30% less a day and you know what, its totally true.

This week I've only taken in 1000 calories a day (yes I know, bad, borderline anorexia so sue me) and I'm not ravenous or hungry. Yes, I get MENTAL cravings for things all time, but this is not out of hunger and I just have to ignore it - particularly when I am bored.

I'm not planning on being on this for more than two weeks as I am sure somehow your body will eventually find out that it is being fooled but its all good. Like today, I didn't take mine and I still didn't feel hungry. If this is all placebo, who cares, its working. Last week I was eating around 1300 calories or so and I was RAVENOUS the whole time - I freaking bought a bunch of broccoli and ate the whole thing because I was THAT hungry. But now, its smooth sailing and I'm very happy.

And you know me and my tricky tummy, I haven't felt any adverse side effects. Except dizziness on occasion from lack of food - but dont worry, on days I work out I do eat more, about 1500 calories.

So if you were curious about these, I say give them a try. From their website you can try them for $9 for a month or two-week supply. I'm not sure if they are good for people trying to lose a lot but for someone like me who is ONLY trying to lose 6-10 pounds, its great.

@##&*%%%!!!

What does that mean? It means that the internship/mentorship with the production company that they assured me I would get (I believe I had a 90% chance) is not coming my way.

I just got the rejection letter from the Canadian Government (WHICH I HATE) today. No real reason for the rejection, in the end it’s just a big fat no.

Now I am so disappointed. This was my dream job (though how many times have I said that this year), it “fell” into my lap. Now it is whisked away LIKE SO MANY OTHER DAMN JOBS!

I feel so badly for the production company too because they were SO certain I was going to work for them – they kept sending me emails saying, “so excited for you to join our team.” BUT NO. Though they have been granted an internship worker every year, the year I APPLY, they get rejected.

Bet they really regret taking a chance on me now.

And what do I get to do? Fret for the next two weeks over getting a new job. Not that I haven’t done enough of that this year.

Fuck my life.

What I loved

FACT: I've always wanted to write a successful children's/teenager book series - this is actually a life goal for me and something I think I can do. Maybe not now, but it will happen. And I already have a few concrete ideas in mind.

So what books did I myself enjoy as a child?

Well, the number one series that I LOVED was The Babysitters Club. And if you remember that series at all, you have to check out THIS BLOG. FUCKING HILARIOUS!

What did I love about this series? Well, it had everything - romance, ghosts, horses. I loved it all, except all the damn babysitting business. Didn't like children when I was 12 and I still don't! LOL.

But what do I really remember about the series? Well here are some things off of the top of my head:

-Mary-Anne Spier totally did a turn around when she became Dawn's stepsister (hence the title of the book "Dawn's Wicked Stepsister"). She went from a meek and indifferent girl (at least I was indifferent) to a fucking psycho bitch. And why was SHE the one with the "hot" redneck boyfriend, who looked like a total douche on all the covers. In Maryanne's defense though, as squeamish and exasperatingly shy as she was, she did have a good sense of humour.

-Kristy Thomas. A turtleneck with jeans. I can not wear this outfit without thinking of you, though I must wonder WHY is a turtleneck with a jeans a "tomboy" outfit? At least put her in a wifebeater and surfer shorts. Kristy was also loud and brash (and liked to sit in a director's chair) but I didn't mind it as much as the other characters did. So, she didn't wear makeup. SHE WAS 13! Fucking hated her little sister Karen though - on all the covers she was just the nastiest looking girl you'd ever see.

-Claudia Kishi. WAS SO COOL! No not really, I have no idea what Ann M. Martin was going for when she dressed her up. A sample of Claudia's AWESOME sense of style? Earrings the size of doorknobs. Hair piled to one side of her head with clips shaped like seashells. Purple "leggings." A long man's shirt with huge appliques of vegetables plastered all over it.

I'm seriously tempted to find all my books and start posting what she wore from every novel, it would be hilarious.

Claudia was quite funny though and she was worse at Math than I was which made me feel better. And her love of Nancy Drew novels was endearing. But even though she was half-Japanese, she never ate any sushi and that really disappoints me. She also hid candy all over her room. You know that right now, at age 25 or whatever, Claudia Kishi is one big fat tub of lard.

-Dawn Schaffer was my favourite because she was laid-back, had looooong blonde hair (which, btw, NEVER looked that long on the covers and which really pissed me off)and had a mom that left her keys in the fridge. They also had a house with a ghost (the Ghost at Dawn's House) which I thought was AWESOME. Dawn had come from California and ate a lot of sprouts, avocado, yogurt and granola. Which seemed weird at the time but now it's just obvious her mom shopped at Whole Foods.

-Stacey. I forget her last name. Anyway, Stacey was the pretty diabetic girl (OOOH HOW CONTROVERSIAL) from New York. Stacey, in my opinion, was a snob and a bitch. She would often lament how people thought she was a snob but she never mentioned that people also thought she was a selfish bitch. Cuz she was. Go ahead, eat the candy!

-Mallory Pike. She had red-hair and freckles and seven brothers and sisters. Enough said.

-Jessie Ramsay. She was a ballerina. She was also African American, which in their whitebread Nazi town, was ALMOST as bad as having diabetes!

I especially loved the Super Series – they were quite atmospheric. The blizzard one, the California one (where Mallory gets obsessed with makeup and dies her hair BLONDE – can you imagine how ugmo she musta looked?) , the one where they all went to camp (stupid Stacey fell asleep in poison ivy), the one when they went to the ski resort, the one where they went sailing and ended up on a desert island.

There are a few books too that I loved more than others. I liked it when Mary-anne and Stacey went to “Sea City.” I liked “Claudia and the Phantom Phone caller.” “Mary-anne’s bad luck mystery” “Ghost at Dawn’s House” “Goodbye Stacey, Goodbye” (YES THANK GOD!) “Dawn on the Coast” (so CALI-awesome), “Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook” “Dawn and the We Love Kids Club” and etc. I actually didn’t read many books past the #50 mark. Looking back, I now find it odd the last book written was “The Fire at Dawn’s House” – does that mean they all died in it?


Other books that I loved as a child was:

-The Saddle Club Series (I may have to devote a post to that one)

-Fear Street (although I HATED how at the end of every book it was always found to be a “rational” explanation – it’s FEAR street. Let there be reason to fear! What also got me was the fact that WHY oh why was everyone living on this street?) For a funny look at Fear Street as we know it, click here

-Christopher Pike – not technically a series but these horror teen books always stayed with me. I recently bought a bunch at a used store and am looking to start reading them again (I can finish one in a day). I remember one called Monster which was fucking nuts –it started off with some party where some guy showed up with a shotgun and started blowing people away. I distinctly remember being awed by phrases “his pink guts started to slide down the wall.” I also remember one that I think was called Whisper of Death. From what a recall, a girl goes in to get an abortion and when she wakes up, she finds there is no one left in her town (or the world). I’m not sure if this was an pro-life novel or not but I certainly second guessed abortions after reading it, lest I wake up to an empty world and have a witch (who used to be your friend) living in your womb and stabbing you with sewing needles.

For funny recap of all books PIKE click HERE

-Sweet Valley Twins AND Sweet Valley High - of course! Curious as to how you would view these books (The Hills before The Hills), visit the SVH blog


-The Secret Circle – this was an awesome trilogy about witches. I’m tempted to dig up my old copies and give a bit of a read again.

Shaking up the South

-I know it’s not my country, and maybe that’s why I find this all so amusing, but I really love what Sarah Palin has done to the USA at the moment.

-Before I go any further, I must say that my views contradict most Republican views: I am Christian, yes, but I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage and pro-environment (not very “green” though, but more on the animal side of things). If I were voting in the States, I would be with the Democratic Party. I think. Though last time I voted I did vote Conservative (Canada’s republican) – just cuz I was bored of the Liberals being in power for so long.

-Maybe I would be classified as an independent voter? Who cares really, the thing is I normally DON’T care. Politics bore me to tears. I don’t feel strongly for one side or another. They are all liars in my opinion. I know it’s good to care about politics and I’m sure some of you will stress its importance, but I’m just being honest. I have no business or interest in it.

-But I do have to say that McCain’s VP pick, Sarah Palin is delighting me. She’s loud, brash, SO Republican, has a messed-up family and a target of the media, press and democrats since Friday. And she's such the love child of Karen from Will and Grace and Tina Fey. Maybe with a tad of Stockard Channing thrown in.


-I especially love how her role is pissing off the democrats. The funny thing is, everything they are attacking her with is the exact same reason why she’ll appeal even more to the Republicans. Her 17-year old child is pregnant! Yes, she probably would have gained from Sex-Ed in high school but the fact is, the kid is having the kid, which totally appeals to the anti-abortionist crowd.

(on that note, I do think the press and media’s coverage – and a certain bloggers – opinion on the daughter is a bit unfair. Like I said, the mom probably didn’t do her job and discuss sex with her daughter – and I only say that because she was against sex-ed – but I don’t think that has much bearing on what happened. I’ve seen so many women get pregnant and all were well-informed about the risks. Women/teenage girls are there own people – if they wanna have sex, they’ll have sex. One would hope they would be responsible enough but as I’m sure some mothers would agree – it’s kinda outta their hands).

-Again, I would probably vote for Obama if I was a US citizen but I can’t help but love how everything is getting shaken up down there. Politics are getting excited and people are actually getting passionate about things, which hopefully means there will be more voters going to the polls. Anything to get the “non-voters” involved.

-A well-spoken black man for President. A hypocritical but ballsy woman for VP. It’s going be a great departure from the norm, no matter who wins. And a departure from the norm is surely what the US needs right now. I think that’s also why I am enjoying all this election hoopla (aside from the fact that it’s not actually my country’s election). Whether it goes to Obama or McCain, in the end it’s still not George W. Bush. And that’s an improvement on it’s own.

Shacking Up and STP

My bf and I went to the Stone Temple Pilots concert on Saturday and let me tell you, it was FUCKING AWESOME!

I know there was some naysayers at the show who might have dissapointed because they sounded too much like STP but you know what? I've waited TEN YEARS to see STP live and I am fucking GLAD that they sounded like themselves.

They played almost every song off of Thank You (meaning all the greatest hits) plus some songs from their earlier albums which weren't well known. Interstate Love Song, Sour Girl and Sex Type Thing were favs of mine and they saved best for last: Trippin on a Hole. I headbanged the crap outta that song - felt like I was 16 again!


In other news, The Rockstar and I are moving in together October 1st! YAY!

But the house-hunting is being put on hold - for the moment.

As you know, Vancouver is one of the most desirable cities to live in in the world (see previous post which a travel website picked up)and of course that means that prices are sky high.

We are approved for a 284k mortgage which is great but we can only really afford a 250k mortgage (keeping our payments low as possible). That's nice and all but the apartments we are looking at are in the 280-320K range which means we need a deposit of about 50-60K.

This is where my dad WOULD HAVE come in. My own apartment is not selling because the market has slowed and that's fine BUT my dad has 70K of his own money in my place, 70K of which he would have put towards our new place. But now he can't. HOWEVER, he did say he would put some in - providing that my boyfriend's father put in at least half.

My boyfriend's father is awesome. He's 55, handsome as hell and retired. He's made tons of money off of investments and this investment for him sounds like a good idea. He totally thinks it makes sense for us to buy our place instead of rent. However, he thinks we should wait 6 months because the market is bound to drop another 10%, meaning we will get a lot more bang for our buck.

It makes sense and my dad agrees too, of course. But it also means we have no choice but listen to our "investors." We wanna buy a place NOW but realistically that won't happen until March.

And so, my dear, poor lover will be moving in to my place next month.

Yep. My place. My teeny 430 square foot studio.

I'm not terribly excited about stil living in this damn place since I am SO sick of it and not that excited about waiting six months for the fun to begin.

But I am excited for us to be living together and that's what counts.

It's just not going to be easy, especially for someone like me who doesn't normally live well with others (I need alone time. A lot). And I like my early-t0-bed sleeping habits. And I like all the closet space possible.

But I know that somehow (somehow) we will persevere over the next six months. We will be in each other's hair a lot, we may even fight ocassionally (I wouldn't it past us) and it definitely will be the ultimate relationship test.

Yet the bright side is that we are doing it - together - and when this is all over (probably before we know it) we will be living in the sweetest most awesome apartment ever.

And it will be ours. OURS. Forever.

Here we go again!

OK folks, I'm gonna level with ya.

I've gained some weight lately.

Maybe it's not weight that anyone's really noticed, but I'VE noticed and that seems to be all that matters.

And it truly is just a little bit of weight, I guess. Two weeks ago I topped out at 138 and I was horrified. 138, if you remember, was the weight I was around this time last year. Then through a hardcore diet and exercise plan, I managed to lose 8 pounds and a bit more.

But as I started school back in February, I was no longer able to partake in the only calorie-burning exercise I didn't hate, which was spin class. My evening classes knocked out the evening spin sessions and I was left sedentary and disillusioned.

Yes, I did join a gym. But if you are anything like me, you LOATHE the gym and quit after 20 min on the treadmill cuz you are bored and had enough.

I needed the classes, I needed a reason to go and - more than that - I needed a reason to keep going. You can't quit in spin class, you have to endure.

Anyway, so my lack of exercise, combined with a vacation to Maui in which I ate and drank everything in sight (I still think it was worth it..maybe) and then a total relapse in diet led me to eventually gain all my weight back.

That's not to say I haven't been trying to lose it since school finished. I have. It's just my motivation levels were quite low. I watched what I ate, had a spin class or gym session here and there but it wasn't consistent and it certainly wasn't enough to start (or re-start) a habit.

So I've realized that in order for me to lose weight, I can't do it properly, which is to say slowly and gently. NO, I have to power on through like I did before, hardcore everything and then, finally, when I feel better again (and it has nothing to do with weight because this time, unlike last time, I AM building muscle and strength-training) then I can just maintain my weight.

When I do reach my goal weight in four weeks, does this mean pig out like last time? No. But it does mean allowing myself to eat more while still roughly counting calories (up to 1800) PLUS some exercise, which for me and hopefully everyone, is very important. Even if it's just twice a week, I will need that just to maintain the weight and stay strong. Yes, I have lost a bunch of weight before via the South Beach Diet where I did not exercise at all but I wasn't fit. I wanna be fit. Kick ass. Etc.

Anyhoo, I did Spin Class (which is mega intense and ranges from 45-60 min) 4 nights in a row this week and tomorrow morning - glorious Saturday morning when I should be sleeping - I am getting up at 8AM to do the morning class. Yeah, it's a bit much but I know myself enough by now to realize that A) do it while I can because next week I may have an excuse and B) if I don't do it every day or at least every other day, I will come to dread the workout and it will cease to be a habit. This a proven fact. The longer I go without exercise, the more I HATE it.

There is one thing though this time that is a lot different from the last time I did this regime. I AM FRICKIN STARVING.

No, I am not eating enough really, but that's the point of cutting calories. 1,200 calories a day. Which is actually OK for someone my height who isn't really overweight and only has a few pounds to lose. At that calorie count (which is the slowest you should go and still function) plus my exercise, I should lose 2 pounds a week.

But I am still starving. Last time I followed the same plan and I wasn't too bad, hunger-wise. This time, I'm just plain hungry. The only difference I can find is that THIS time I am at work, so though I am up and about, I am also chained to an Avid Editing system and bored at times. Many times. Which makes me think about food. And snacking. And so on.

I've decided to take the bull by the horns though and make some changes. I'm not used to this HUNGER feeling, I know in the past I ate because I was "craving" something or "emotionally" hungry but this is the real deal, your tummy is empty please fill it, kinda hunger.

So I've stocked up with low-cal foods that are either high in fibre and protein. Anything to keep my stomach from growling for a few hours.

I'll let you guys know how I get on by next week, and provide some diet-friendly filling foods for you guys as I discover them. Thankfully this extreme hoopla is only till the end of September and considering I am weighing 133.8 at this moment, it seems to be working.

Think I'll toast to that with a 4 0z glass of white wine!

(100 calories)

Make that two!

(200 calories - but worth it :)

Busy Bee

I have to admit, the other day I kinda forgot I had a blog. I mean, I knew I had one but it hadn't occurred to me that maybe I should write in it once in a while.

The reason for my absense (if anyone noticed) is because I have been just a busy little bee. And you know what? I actually despise being busy.

Last week I had something booked after work everyday....
Monday: Dinner with an old friend who was visiting in town.

Tuesday: Radiohead concert (which was FREAKING AMAZING btw - despite my boyfriend's friend who fainted due to too much pot...kinda pissed me off considering it happened during one of my favourite songs, Planet Telex).

Wednesday: met up with a friend I hadn't seen since 2002 - we had a bit of a falling out over things I don't remember but she used to be my best friend since we were wee and it's great that we reconnected.

Thursday: Jack Johnson concert, which was sweet.

Friday: Met with my realtor.

Saturday: Had a stagette party (which was so much fun - got to try pole-dancing for the first time and learned how to do a proper lap dance...my bf was in for a treat).

Sunday: Went with the realtor around the city and checked out apartments (more on house-hunting in the next post)....then went to my boyfriend's parents house for our usual Sunday dinner. Only this time, my mother was there too. EEEK! Despite the fact that we have been going out for 14 months, this was the first time our moms met. It was inevitable but luckily it all worked out for the best and everyone got along swimmingly.

Thankfully the only I have to do this week is go to spin class...and of course, see Stone Temple Pilots on Saturday night, providing Scott Weiland doesn't end up in jail before then. That man better behave!

I know there are a lot of people who thrive on being busy every waking moment. But that's just not for me. Nothing makes me happier than coming home and knowing I have no plans. There's no rush, no pressure and I can do whatever I please. The downside is after awhile it gets boring, so obviously you need a little balance.

But I would still rather take time to stop the roses. And I think that's what it all comes down to...TIME. Last week just flew by in a second and that kinda scared the crap outta me. I need quiet evenings and moments dispersed throughout my days, so I actually FEEL time around me. You know, when you just sit and you can actually feel like you are here, in the moment, feel like you are living and breathing and all of that.

Which is why I've decided that if we ever have kids (as most of you know, I am still on the fence about the whole thing), I'd ideally like to be a stay-at-home mom. Of course, at that point I will likely be knee-deep in the film biz and unwilling to give up my producing job or whatever the hell I am doing. But I just read about all these working mums these days who are constantly rushing from morning to night and I just can't stand doing that.

Again, it's my personality (ahem, lazy) and obviously I think a lot of busy working moms would rather NOT work, given the choice but they can't really afford to do it. And of course, a lot thrive on being busy and a lot love their jobs too much to give it up.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I guess what I am trying to say is in this "go go go" society it feels like life will pass you by in an instant if you don't take some time for yourself and just slow down every once in awhile.

OK. That last bit sounded a bit familiar....and now I know where from.

From the wise mouth of Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down and look around, you might miss it."

(Ferris and Mr. Rooney)

A Simple Twist of Fate

Back in April..... I was still in "Business Film" school and eagerly awaiting my future. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to land a job in the film industry but I had my usual naivete about things and figured it would all work out in the end. It did....but back then I thought the "end" would come much sooner.

I did my two-week internship as a development assistant at a big production company and promptly discovered my "dream" job. Here I was, on the sidelines, helping bring ideas to life. Sure, it was just an internship and I was doing tons of odd jobs but I realized that THIS is where I should be. This is what I went to school for to become. This is what I had always wanted to do, every since I saw Jurassic Park when I was 12 and decided I would BE in film. I would do this!

I totally thought my determination would help me secure a position within the company but sadly it did not. Then I thought my ambition would help me get a position with any OTHER film company. And sadly, it did not.

I applied absolutely everywhere - I went through the entire list of my province's producers and contacted them all directly. I worked my way through friends of friends, people I kinda knew, teachers etc, all hoping to network my way into a position in the film industry (after all, its who you know).

But nothing happened. Though the responses I got were all nice, they all said the same thing. Either "not right now, maybe later" or "you can work for free."

As has been the topic of this blog many a times, I will not work for free. Pay my dues, work from the bottom...YES. But for free? I have a mortgage, mouths to feed (mainly my own) and I'm 26. I'm done with the free shit.

So I kinda forgot about film and started to think maybe it wasn't such a good place to be. A place I wanted to be, yes, but the signs were all pointing to NO. Or, not right now.

And such I took the job at the ad agency, feeling so damn guilty about it. This wasn't film. This wasn't anything I just went to school for and it wasn't anything I was interested in. Luckily I didn't at ALL feel guilty about it when I quit 2 weeks later (as an aside, I've noticed the company reposting my position on Craigslist every month...yup, it seems that I was right to leave since no one else in my position can apparently handle the abuse either).

Then started my long, L O N G, foray into getting a job that I wanted and liked. I'm not going to go into much detail since you all damn know about it by now and are sick of it but to summarize: I applied for everything. Film, reception, admin, marketing, writing, journalism, communications, personal assistant, executive assistant, public relations, office manager. After awhile though, I realized that I was no longer going after my dream job. I was getting desperate. I would take anything - screw my dream job. After trying so hard, I knew I would be lucky to get anything.

And still! Nothing came! I had lots of interviews but they were always OH SO CLOSE. They never went where I wanted them to (employment, natch). Luckily, and I do mean this now, there was only one or two jobs which I really, REALLY wanted, so the blow wasn't too devestating when I didn't get them. One was the executive assistant job at the post production company. The other was marketing for an indie theatre company. Both had something to do with film and touched on my education. A sign right?

Well, just as I started to think I may just never get a job - even a job that I DON'T like - I got one. It wasn't the one I wanted because it was a low-paying contract 2-month position (I know you all know that but I digress) but I took it anyway.

It was something. It was film-related. It could one day lead me to where I wanted to go. I was willing to take a pay cut. I was willing to start from the bottom. It wasn't ideal but I was WILLING to make the best out of it. And I have.

Was there a chance of me continuing on after 2 months? Yes. Maybe. Most likely in an admin position, which again, wasn't ideal. But it was too soon to tell.

And so I did something I never did before; I stopped worrying about the future. I started living in the here and the now. I did not think about what lay beyond October. I just started going to work, enjoying the job (or at least not minding it) and my stress levels pretty much vanished over night. This is me, now, and this is me happy. Tomorow will worry about itself.

Then...the strangest thing happened. I had gotten several calls from a well-known local production company. I knew of this company because they were one of the companies that I REALLY wanted to work for back in April and had applied for (course, never heard back). I had also applied again in July for an internship position I saw advertised. It was paid and it was e x a c t l y what I wanted to do, the same kind of thing I had done on my previous internship. Only this one paid well (for an internship), was sponsored by the government and was for a minimum of six months.

I never heard back though and totally forgot about the whole thing until I started getting these voice mails from them. And then emails. I figured I had to get back to them at some point - after all, I had JUST accepted a position and I couldn't do the internship anymore but I still had to turn them down regretfully.

The guy there was totally cool and understood - he was disappointed though because they saw so much potential with me. That was a nice feeling, to be in demand FOR ONCE, but sadly it was not to be. Such is life. He wished me luck and said even though they need the internship filled now, maybe in October we can work something out.

I've heard that before so I didn't think much of it. Back to living in the day to day. October? That's way off.

Then on Monday I got an email from them, again. The guy told me that the head producer - someone very well-known in this country's industry, still wanted to meet with me. Like the next day. She wanted to see if we could work something out anyway.

And so suddenly, yesterday, I found myself sneaking away from the office at lunch time to attend an impromptu interview with said producer and crew.

And then a few hours later I was notified by phone that I they wished to hire me on for the internship.

What exactly just happened here?

Well, it means that together we are applying to the goverment for a mentorship program for producers. This prestigious program is only awarded to 20 pairings of producer/interns in the whole country. Is there a chance that despite the company picking me, we still may not be one of the 20? Of course. But given that every single intern that's applied with them has been chosen, well the odds are in my favour. More than in my favour.

I'll find out in six weeks, either way. And in six weeks my current contract job will be up which means I am free to start working for Production Company S.

And when I say work, I mean work. I will be an actual employee of the company. I will receive a nice paycheck (OK, when I mean nice, I mean I will still have to borrow some money from my parents each month but it's "nice" compared to all other internships...and a lot of other jobs out there). I will have full-time steady work until April. After which, they will give me a raise (providing I do well) and I will continue to work with them. If I end up like all the past interns, then great. They've all either stayed with the company and are development managers, screenwriters, script readers or producers or have gone on to do great things.

Most important of all, I get to be doing which I only dreamed of doing, which I had given up on doing and which I had regretfully accepted may never be in the cards for me.

And yet, here it is. A dream job internship just freakin' fell in my lap. And I was totally getting ready to accept that my career may never be as exciting and unusual as I had hoped it would be.

I know you've all said it before, and I will say it again, but seriously....good, nee, GREAT things happen to those who wait, to those who aren't looking and to those who learn to just enjoy what they've got.

No Complaints

So I officially completed my first week of work and I am amazed at what a difference having a job that you actually like makes to your life.

I guess I should first explain which job I have.

I did not get the job that I was really gunning for - and I wasn't upset over it either. I kinda knew, after all there were signs and for once I wasn't going to gamble on something that wasn't a sure thing.

It would have been a great job to have, mainly because it would be permanent and with benefits. But looking back, I realize now that I think I wanted the job for all the wrong reasons. I emphasized a lot how perfect I would be for the job because of my film and cinema knowledge (especially when it comes to classic films) and because the company dealt with classic and foreign cinema, I figured I would be a great match.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don't think the actual 'job' part of the deal had anything to do with that. Yes, I would have done some marketing stuff, but I am not sure all of the reasons why I thought I would be good for it would have had any part. I think the people knew that too. I am not sure who they were looking for in the end, but it obviously wasn't me.

That's not to say I wasn't slightly miffed about not getting the position - after all, rejection is never fun. But I read somewhere that sometimes you only want something because it's available. Like the guy you would never look twice at....until you find out he likes you. Suddenly, you're all ears. Well, I think when we go to job interviews, the same thing happens. You start really, really wanting the job because you were lucky enough to get an interview. You start planning your future together when if you had never even gotten the interview in the first place, you probably would have forgotten about the company.

I also think you should never want something THAT much. Cuz it will never come to you.

But of course, all is not lost. I do have my position with the post-production agency. And after being there for a week already, I have found tons of wonderful things about it.

*Small company, everyone is really friendly

*No micro-managing! People leave me alone (I like working by myself!)

*I surf the net all day, seeking out lame ass stock footage videos. And when I say lame, I mean the actual stock footage is lame. Bad acting everywhere!

*I'm in the film industry...feels kinds good to end up where I always wanted to go

*NINE MINUTE COMMUTE!

*I work 10-6. Which means I leave my house at 9:45AM and I make it to work with five minutes to spare!

*I am doing more than post-production...my role is actually in development as well which is exactly where I want to be down the line

*I get to be in the film we are making...LOL....OK, it's an educational video and my job is to go through the script and shotlist and find out what footage we can buy previously filmed online and what we can't. Which means the footage we have to film ourselves...I get to be in! Yay for confused student #2!

*It also means that I am flying out to Glacier National Park in Montana in September to stay in a resort for a few days while filming. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Montana and I am so excited that this might actually happen! Doesn't hurt that the boss owns the resort too!

*Also, they might fly me out to Ottawa in the next few weeks to meet some of the producers. Finally, I get to see the other half of Canada...and the nation's capital to boot!

Most important of all, there is no stress. I show up, do what I can for the day (my task will take absolutely forever) and go home. I don't cringe in the morning (waking up at 9AM helps) and I'm not dying to leave either.

Of course, the two bad points are the low pay and the contract. But I think it'll work out for the best. Low pay is worth it if I like my job. The contract might be a blessing in disguise.

Mainly because I have an interview tomorrow with a prominent production company! I applied for a development assistant job awhile back and they finally got back to me, wanting an interview. I apologized and told them that I was just recently employed and that I couldn't take the interview - though made sure to let them know I would be done my current position in two months. Well, I guess they really like my resume or something because the main producer wants to meet me anyway in hopes that we can work together after my contract is up.

Seriously, so out of the blue. And funny how this was a company that I emailed a few times after I was done school, in April, wondering if I could work for them in any capacity.

Hopefully the interview will go fine tomorrow, I'm sure it will. Either way, I've got my current job so I'm staying focused on the present and not worrying about the future. And hey, if this company wants to offer me a job afterwards...then I'm one lucky duck.

In other news: my apartment is not selling! BOOOO! The market in Vancouver has just CRASHED and now is the worst time to sell...but best time to buy.

I am not sure what my options are really until my father talks with his accountants but ideally what I would want to happen is to rent out my apartment (will make at least $200 profit a month on it) and buy a place between the rockstar and I (and my father). It makes the most sense...especially since I can rent out this place for a pretty penny come the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics!

Anyway, fingers crossed that this all works out. I'm still gonna keep it on the market but I honestly can't lower the price or else we will lose money (we paid WAY too much to begin with...long story). But if it doesn't get any interest by September, I hope renting it will be the option we take.

In other OTHER news: My best friend is getting married! Congrats Kelly and Alex! I am SO excited to be the maid of honour and doubly excited that it means I'll be finally visiting Montreal next summer (where the wedding is). It's gonna be so much fun, and this is the first time I've been part of the wedding party, let alone MOH!

I'm alive!

And I'm employed. As such I haven't had time to write here cuz I've been so damn tired but rest assured I will inform you all on my job shortly....plus a crazy tale from a recent camping trip :p

Until then, enjoy the sunshine and the weekend!

EMPLOYED - but where?

So I deleted my last post because I finally have things figured out (note the calm, serene look on my face).

Well, I have things figured out as much as I can - after all, no one knows anything (especially me) and there's no such thing as a yadda yadda yadda.

Basically, I am employed. Yay? No really, should be YAY! BUT I can't really get excited yet.

I can be relieved. I no longer have to look for jobs. Even though by some sick habit, I am still looking for jobs. I guess its hard to go from three months of checking out at least 6 of your favourite job websites several times a day to...not.

I was offered the contract job as you all know. And I am waiting to hear back about the permanent job. I will know about that one tomorrow and I managed to stall the contract job till tomorrow as well. Which means its a fairly win-win situation. If I get the permanent job, then YAY! Big yays! I can regretfully turn down the other job and I am on my merry little way. If I DON'T get the permanent job, I still have the contract job.

Which means I start work on Tuesday. AH!

Of course, I am not counting on the permanent position - I don't count on anything and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, no matter how badly you want the bush bird. Honestly, I don't think I will get it. The interview didn't go as well as I would have hoped, they were a lot more serious than I thought they would be (esp for an entry-level position) and I don't really think I won them over. Maybe my handwritten thank you notes will win them over? Maybe not.

And the worst sign of all: They never asked for my references!!

So what I have been trying to do is getting myself psyched up about the job I DO have. And it's really not all that bad. Everything about it sounds awesome except of course for the 1)low pay and 2)temporacy. But if I have to look on the bright side, and tomorrow I will, the guy (my boss?) did say "My hope would be that after the duration of this contract we could keep you on in a different capacity within the company but naturally, at this stage, it is too early to say for sure."

That was nice to hear - maybe I'll get paid more, maybe I'll be permanent but I'll take it with a grain of salt. Maybe in two months I'll want to find another job and with new experience, maybe I'll have an easier time.

Anyhoo so that's my dilemma, solved. Now we play the damn waiting game. I guess it's just till tomorrow but today is going to take F O R E V E R.

And this brings me to a new problem. This weekend is a long weekend and worst case scenario, I start work on Tuesday. So, with half a Thursday and a full-Friday left, what should I do to enjoy my last days of freedom? I am going camping this weekend too which is awesome BUT since I no longer have job-hunting to occupy my time....well...what should I be doing?

I already slept till 11AM, so that takes care of that indulgence...

What's good, what's bad

QUICK!

What's good:

*I have been offered a job in a position that I would love to do. Basically working in post-production on an educational film. It sounds a lot like my internship, lots of research and I LOVE research. I was just informed about it today BUT I have not said yes yet. Two reasons why: Pay is low and it's a contract position for two months. Again, there is a possibility of going full-time afterwards and maybe becoming a permenant employee with the company, but for now it's just this project. Also - it did sound slightly overwhelming.

But I may need the position because hell, it's better than nothing (a LOT better) and well, my recent education would suddenly come in handy.

Yet, here I am, twidling my thumbs and deciding whether to accept or not. If this was last Tuesday, then YES. I would have, no doubt. But now, I have doubts. My instinct says something more permenant will come along.

I'm not sure if I trust my instinct anymore.

I will get back to him later tonight or tomorrow morning with my decision. Whatever the hell that is. And I will ask you what YOU think I should do...but I want to give another bit of info to the situation.

I have a job interview today. Uh oh. ANOTHER "dream job." And for some reason, I feel really serene about the whole thing. I think the position would be perfect for me...I mean, the REAL ME. Not the me I want to be or hope to be but the ME that I am and always have been. Sounds corny, I know.

Funny thing is, a month ago, I would have overlooked this job. Why? Because the pay was "too low" for me. Not so low that I couldn't survive but lower than my past two jobs (by about 2-4K per year).

Now I've come to realize that as long as I can survive, the pay doesn't matter anymore. My wonderful boyfriend (who, despite being two years younger, is freakin' years older in maturity) recently said to me that perhaps I should just go for something that pays less, something I can handle and something I can work my way up in. In the past, I lucked out big time. In a way. My Executive Assistant/Office Manager role and my Production Coordinator role were both ones that paid a lot more than I expected....and for good reason. They came with big responsibility and in the end, it was a lot more responsibility than I could apparently handle (among other things). An easier role in which I could gradually work my way up - well, it sounds mighty appealing right now.

OK, so I've gone off on a tangent. Anyway, I would go too much into the role right now because it's just an interview and who knows anymore if it will go anywhere (though the way I got the interview is a funny story - I'll post about it IF I get the job because otherwise it'll mean nothing).

I know not to count on ANYTHING at this stage. But I also feel OK about it...because when I lost the Executive Assistant role at the Big post-production company (back in early June), the role I thought was my "dream job," I kind of thought that was it. But now, another "dream job" has come along which gives me hope. Even if I don't get this one, there is another one out there.

In fact, I am applying for three other jobs this week in which I could see myself being very happy in - one of the jobs I actually have an "in" because an ex-employee of the company is recommending me to them.

So you can start to understand why I may be feeling hestitant about the job I was just offered. If it was a permenant position, there would be no hesitating. That said, even with all these great prospects lined up I've been freakin screwed in the past in this same situation (remember when I gave up the video game job because I thought I would get my "dream job").

*What else is good:

-I'm gonna be featured in my favourite magazine: SELF! I'll let you know what issue it'll come out in, I'm just answering the final interview questions at the moment. Ah, me and my mediocre fame continues...

-I listed my apartment yesterday! After spending three days of cleaning and clearing out half the stuff to make my place "showroom ready," I feel like I am living in someone else's apartment. Someone's really clean and spacious apartment. I wanna start doing ballet in here.

-I'm writing two articles for a travel website. Woot!

*What's bad:

-Guess what job I saw advertised on Craigslist yesterday? Well, if it isn't my good 'ol personal assistant role at DeviantART. Of course, I'm not above petty revenge, so I made a warning post on Craigslist. Not about anything really except that whoever applies should NOT send out their personal info (certified copy of passport, SIN number) and file paperwork with the IRS, until they sign a contract. I like to warn the public.

-Speaking of warning, the EA job to the hotel president which I was warned about, well that's reposted again too. Remember this job, the one in which I went for my second interview and while I was waiting there for an hour, an assistant came out and said "Sorry to waste your time but the boss just offered the position to the girl before you."? Well, what a lie that was. Why is the role available so soon again? I still feel like the boss took one look at me and thought, "Nah, she looks like a blonde idiot." To satisfy my curiousity, I emailed the assistant just now and asked why the position is available again. No way in hell do I want it or want to be considered but it's really intriguing - especially when I was warned about this job and how often it has been filled and advertised for this year!

-Oh and finally, remember the EA job at the online publishing company? The one I did the suprise Excel test for and bombed. Well they're still looking for someone to fill the role, a month later. Maybe if the boss didn't ambush nervous interviewees with a hard pop quiz in something that wasn't even a requirement for the role, he would have better luck.

Speaking of luck...wish it for me! I'm off to my interview shortly and then on to two other companies where I am going to drop my resume off in person. I'm leaving nothing to chance anymore.

****ADDENDUM****

So I had the interview. It went well enough, maybe harder than I thought but I did the best I could. But I've learned to not count on anything at this point - I wouldn't be suprised if I did not get it, let's put it that way. Hmmmm. Starting to lean towards that temp work now...

No such thing as a sure thing

I'm gonna keep this short (ha, yeah right) but something happened to me on Tuesday that pissed me right off. Enough so that if you are on my Facebook, you probably responded to my dismal status with a "what the hell is wrong now?" Though most of you were nicer than that (thank you Memphis Steve!)

So, while I was looking here and there for jobs and having no such luck, I did have something up my sleeve. See, I was being considered for a personal assistant/executive assistant position for the CTO of Deviant art. com. And when I say considered, I had the job, basically.

When I first applied, I knew I was overqualified so I wasn't shocked that the HR person in LA (that's where the company is based - the CTO just happens to live up here) said the same thing to me. She initially hesitated on giving me an interview because of all of my experience and was worried I would get bored with the position. I assured her that I wouldn't.

The ad basically described the job as preparing meals, tidying the office, opening bills, watching the guy's 4 year old kid once in a while, doing laundry and drycleaning and the like, along with some executive duties such as answering emails, attending conference call meetings. It sounded easy peasy and I applied because I thought, why not. I would take almost anything at this point. Plus, I like easy...least I thought I did.

Anyway, the rate was $18 an hour which I thought was ok - it didn't sound like you needed a lot of brains to do it BUT there were no benefits. You had to do your own taxes too, which is fine but a hassle. I would have taken $18 an hour too, but I thought I would ask for $20 if I could. It was also in USD funds, and when the Canadian dollar takes over the American, as it is supposed to do by end of year, I would actually get paid less.

So I met with the CTO for coffee, four weeks ago or so. We talked for 2 and 1/2 HOURS!!! It went really well and the guy was super nice. He was a big dork, very awkward and nervous (in an endearing way) but a lot of the things he was saying weren't adding up.

For example, he said, "You're the first person I've interviewed, it's going so well." Then later he said, "The person I interviewed this morning didn't have a driver's license." And "I haven't had an assistant for awhile," then later, "My assistant just quit yesterday."

Say...what? If your assistant just quit yesterday....how come the ad came out for this position over a week ago?

All those inconsistencies aside, he did seem like a good guy to work for, very important considering it would be in his own personal office in his apartment. Tight quarters, if you know what I mean.

At the end of the interview he said, "I guess I have to have a few more interviews just to be sure but I am going to tell you right now that you're my pick."

So I left being optimistic. Rightfully so...right?

A few days later I followed up with him via email. When he finally got back to me he said that he told the crotchety HR woman, Jeanne, that I was his choice for the role and that I had the green light. And that from here on in, the horrible HR woman was going to handle things. I am saying "crotchety" and "horrible" not only because she IS but because the CTO said so himself! Apparently, she's an old biddy (his words) and some guy who works there's mom.

So, I needed some more information about the position. Mainly, I had lots of questions, especially about the wage, about the duties, about vacation, etc.

She got back to me a few days later and said that they approved the $20 an hour that I ended up asking for, that I was on contract and would not get vacation pay (only 2 weeks after a year), that of course there were no benefits cuz they were an American company and I was Canadian and that it would be 40 hours a week.

Some of that I liked, some I didn't. But I accepted and emailed her my address so that she could send the contract.

A day later, I got a call from some guy called Mike. Mike works for the company down in LA, and as far as I could tell, he was the assistant to the CEO down there. It was basically another interview with another unsure, nervous and uneasy guy. I don't know why he was interviewing me but I assume that no one in the company trusts the CTO's judgement.

At any rate, at the end of that interview, Mike seemed impressed with me and thought I would be a great fit for the CTO. Fine. Good. Whatever. But as much I knew I had the job, I wasn't excited until I signed that freaking contract.

So as soon as that was done, I emailed the HR woman again to make sure she had my references and to know what else was going on. She emailed me back and sent all these tax forms for the IRS. I had to fill out all these forms so I could be exempt from taxes, send them my passport, do all these things etc. Meanwhile, she would contact my references and then it was go.

Well, I relaxed because I knew my references were all good. And I did fill out the forms, though I put off sending them out until I saw a damn contract.

The contract never came. I never heard back from Jeanne. So I emailed her, reminding her that I was sending stuff out and wanting to know when to expect the contract. She emailed me back saying that one of my references she couldn't get a hold of, despite leaving several messages and until she heard back, the position was going to be on hold!

That reference I knew was in Alberta so I figured that may happen, however she was from 2006 and I had two other, newer and more prestigious references - BESIDES, she had said in her email "send me three references and if you don't have that much, two will do."

SO why now is she balking because she can't get hold of one?

I explained that to her, that the other two references were the most important at any rate and that the 3rd one may be hard to get hold of since it was from so long ago.

It was at this point that I started to get a bad, bad feeling. This was so bloody disorganized and slow. Why not check references first, before you have me do all this IRS shit? Why is it suddenly stalled?

Then I get a reply back:

"Your last two jobs were only for six months and the other for a few weeks as an unpaid intern. We are looking for a seasoned person with some years under their belts doing executive level work. Your salary requirements are high for your level of experience, and therefore, wehave chosen another candidate who better suits the needs of our company. Thank you for your interest in working with our company and I wish you the best of luck with your job search. Regards, Jeanne"

WHAT THE FUCK?

First of all....it says on my resume how long I worked there, everywhere.

She approved the $20 an hour to begin with.

I ALMOST DIDN'T GET AN INTERVIEW BECAUSE I WAS OVERQUALIFIED!!!! Suddenly, I'm underqualified? UNDERQUALIFIED TO GET DRY CLEANING?

Suddenly they have someone else?

Did the CTO, the guy I would be assisting, the guy who repeatedly said, "I think we get along great, I think you would be perfect for the job, I picked you for the job, you have the green light, etc" have any say in this at all?

Why....why....why....why....

My only explanation was that I got a bad reference from one of my ex-employers. So I contacted them and they both said they only said great things - the woman sounded more interested in learning how much I made though....

So...yeah...that was the one thing I was counting on and it fell through. It almost sucks more to be rejected by a job that you were settling for. I just thought I would humble myself and take a job beneath me because I need freakin' money to survive, pay my bills, get a mortgage, etc. But NOPE. Not for me. You can't even have the sucky jobs, the jobs that everyone around you is saying, "Don't be so picky, go for an easy, low-level position" - Well I took their advice and LOOK at what happened.

Anyhoo, I'm over it now. Despite all of this shit I have been through for the last three months, I am still cautiously optimistic and I still have faith that things will work out.

But it doesn't mean that this didn't piss me off. Wouldn't it piss you off?

PS - though it may have been unprofessional of me, I ended up emailing both the CTO and Jeanne and telling them exactly what I thought of them and the situation - I hope they treat the person they chose with a lot more respect than they treated me.

Team Trouble: a long story

Last, last weekend, my man and I went off to the Okanogan in search of sun, sand and adventure. Well, we got all three. And then some.

The Okanagon Region (of which I can never seem to spell properly) consists of Lake Okanogan (with the mystical Ogopogo - North America's owm "loch ness monster"), Skaha Lake and Lake Osoyoos. I'm sure there are other lakes but I can't be bothered doing any research. So I will tell you what I know: the hills are dotted with vineyards (this is Canada's Napa Valley, a wine region that some say is even better than the California version), the lakes are clear, blue and refreshing (except for Osoyoos, which is the warmest lake in the country - bathwater warm!), the landscape is hilly and dry, dotted with sagebush and ponderosa pine and the weather is hot, dry and dusty. This is heaven to me - after growing up on the wet and tree-heavy west coast, I am drawn to dry, desolate and hot environs. The Okanogan is one of my favourite places on Earth and both the Rockstar and I knew it would be the perfect place for our one-year anniversary trip.

We left on "free slurpee day," and after a sugar-high from 7/11's chintsy giveaway (7.1 ounces, what did I expect) we drove East, towards deserts and lakes. We couldn't wait to leave the city behind and feast our eyes on something new to look at. Were we staying at a wonderful resort for our romantic getaway? No. We had to do with a tiny single room in a hostel, share-bathroom and all. We are broke, remember. But luckily, I am so accustomed to the backpacker lifestyle that our bed didn't phase us. We would be happy anywhere.

I took the slow route instead of the main, toll-booth highway, taking advantage of all the little towns you could stop off along the way. Fruit stands, old mines, teepees, deserted roads in which you could pull off on and have all the privacy in the world (if you know what I mean, tee hee). Sure the other way was a bit faster but we weren't in any hurry. Even if it's quicker, I can't stand a boring drive.


We rolled into Penticton around 4PM, unsure of what to do. His main plan for the weekend was to relax on the beach, read his book and swim in the lake. My main plan included the possibilities of: conecting with dear old college friends, going wine-tasting, going horseback riding, floating down the river on an inertube, hiking in the hills...oh and drinking absinthe on the beach.

We ended up doing three of the above. We could have maybe done more, if only we hadn't done the latter choice first.

I bought the Rockstar a bottle of real absinthe for his birthday a few months back and we never got around to drinking it. I wanted to be somewhere safe when we did. Well, I guess we threw that out the window, because our first activity on our anniversary trip was to drink the bottle on the beach.

After a few sips in our hostel room....



We decided to finish the rest on the beach. At 60% proof, we were shooting it straight out of the bottle and finishing it with a chaser of Fanta. Needless to say by the time we got to the beach, the world was alive and shimmering and we felt great (need I remind you that absinthe contains wormwood, a hallucinogen, aka the green fairy in Moulin Rouge). So great, that we barely felt the chill of the lake when we went for a sunset dip.




Then, this is where things get fuzzy. For both of us, but especially for me. I remember we met some completely random couple with a dog on the beach.




Somehow we ended up at their place, high in the hills around town where we danced and drank wine.

I woke up with a start at 4AM. We were both back in the hostel, lying on the bed, on top of the covers with our clothes on. The light in the room was on. It was pitch black outside. I wasn't sure where I was and I was beyond confused. I also didn't feel too sick - but I later found out that's because I was still drunk. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and we fell back asleep.

We then awoke at 9AM and tried to piece together the night. I had many weird dreams, one of them involved being in a restaurant and eating too much pita bread. Of the actual night, all I could remember was going to the random couple's place (was he a French Jamaican guy?) and had no idea how we got back home. Thankfully the bf wasn't as far gone as me (I have a horrible tendency to do that) and I learned that the couple gave us a ride back into the main part of town, we walked back to the hostel and since the front door of the hostel wasn't locked, we estimated that we probably got back to pass out before 11PM.

Then he asked if I remember eating last night. I thought it was a dream but it soon came clear that we did in fact go to a restaurant late that night, where I did consume too much pita.

Then it became clear that he lost his wallet. Normally it would be in his pocket, but the shorts he was wearing didn't have any. So really, it should have been in my bag. But we looked in the bag and found everything else important (my wallet, my camera...empty bottle of absinthe) except that. A thorough search of the room turned up nothing.

We were both starting to feel too sick to panic, so while I showered, he walked around town trying to find what place we ate at. It turned out that they did have a wallet, but the manager put it in a safe and it would be available that afternoon.

That was a huge relief and it was soon followed by the mother of all hangovers. I can't even express how messed up I felt, but a hearty greasy breakfast didn't do the trick. Neither did a nap. Neither than going to the beach again, to take sun and cool off in the waves. OK, the bracing water did make me feel clear-headed but it subsided once I was back on land. And even the Ceaser (Canada's yummy answer to the bloody mary) and Tortilla soup didn't help.

I actually didn't feel better until I brought it all up, later that night.

Anyway, back to the beach. When we were done, we headed to the restuarant to pick up his wallet. It was odd being there, you would have thought it would have come back to me, but I honestly felt like I had never been there before.

The manager comes out to greet us, with his wallet in hand. But before she hands it over, she holds it up in the air.

"Now I'll give this to you, but you'll have to pay me first."

We exchanged a look. She continued.

"You didn't pay for your food last night. You left the wallet on the table and then disappeared."

It was both hilarious, shameful and mortifying. Of course, we paid her and gave her a lot extra, but both of us could not get over the fact that we were bloody criminals! She was thankfully really nice and she said she could tell we were obviously too drunk and she was just happy we were eating and not drinking.

But still! Run out on the bill! I have never done that before, even during my "troubled youth" years. Plus, leave the wallet behind too. I mean, what happened there? So far, since neither of us can remember what happened at the restaurant, neither of us know why we left without paying and without his wallet. Either it was a misunderstanding, or we are the stupidest dine-and-dashers in the world!

And the funniest thing is, I had wads of cash in my own wallet that I don't even remember taking out. Really hoping we didn't decide to mug someone as well.

Well, that was the worst part of the trip. The rest was quite nice. We met up with Sarah and Scott and their adorable pug Stella for some beers and pizza.


The next morning we went wine-touring which was amazing. We only made it to three wineries, even though there were so many high-quality ones to chose from, all within a ten-minute drive (we were in the scenic Narramatta Bench region, with graps growing upon dusty cliffs, metres above the lake). If we had more time, we would have explored the vineyards south (Oliver) and north (Kelowna)....






...and then before we headed back, we capped it off with a trip to another lake and another beach, where we read our books, ate brie and tomatoes on a baguette and enjoyed the undying heat.






All in all, it was an amazing trip - as embarassing as it is to admit what happened, there's no one else I would want on my team...Team Trouble.

Wanderlusting - Vancouver, BC

First of all, thank you so much everyone for all of your kind words and encouragement. It's lovely to know that I have so many friends and supporters out there. If you couldn't tell, I truly was in a terrible funk but I've gotten myself out of it. I have a new outlook and attitude (about work, writing, everthing) - let me tell you, it's a very freeing thing when you let go of something and you still see it come back to you. I've made peace with certain expectations for myself and have a more simple plan ahead of me for the future, finding out what I want to truly live a happy life. And perhaps next week I will have some good news, too.

In the meantime, I am going to write, not much about myself, but about my dear old hometown of Vancouver. I've realized that many of you don't know much about the city itself, where I live and what it is like. And that living here, I never think to appreciate this place with new eyes, see it for the first time the way the tourists do (I know, there is hostel down the street from me and I see gaga-eyed foreigners everywhere I walk).

It's happened a few times, upon returning from a year and a bit stint in Auckland, NZ, I was yearning to see the North Shore mountains. After three-months vagabonding around Europe, I couldn't wait to wear my foreign outfits on my hometown beach. But now, in the midst of summer and sunshine, I need to remind myself that I live HERE:

Vancouver, which has been rated the Top Ten Most Liveable City in the WORLD, for the last decade or whatever, on several top ten lists. It's even been NUMBER ONE more than a few times. Can YOUR city claim that (PS please shut up you Sydneysiders, Aucklanders and everyone in Switzerland - we know you made the lists too :P) Bill Clinton even declared it one of the most beautiful cities he has seen.

Of course, we have our share of problems. With its popularity, Vancouver has the highest housing prices in the country (for example, a modest one-bedroom downtown is going to set me and my boyfriend back around $300,000 - I'm selling my 430 sq. foot tiny studio for $200,000!). We also have the worst drug and problems in all of North America (no seriously, look it up). And traffic can be a real bitch sometimes.

But overall, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. OK, I would, but just for a few years becaus I know I would ALWAYS come back to Vancouver, Sea to Sky City.

Plus the Winter Olympics in 2010. Come on!

View from the top of Whistler Mountain, Best Ski Resort in North America and only 2 hour drive away

Even in November, the city can take your breath away (my apartment is just a little to the right)

View from my roof deck facing North

View from apartment facing South/West

The ocean is everywhere! (note city way in the background)

Stanley Park is one of the biggest parks in North America and an easy stroll away from me - perfect way to spend a summer day

The beach is a one-minute walk from my place

Warmest place in Canada - palm trees, you see!

How can you say no to this every night?

I love having our boat so close by

Stunning in Winter - view from top of Grouse Mountain, looking down on part of the city - Peter Jokan photography

Calming in Autumn - Stanley Park Seawall, Peter Jokan

Cherry Blossomtastic in Spring

The nearby Gulf Islands provide refuge in Summer


Beautiful day...

Or night


I encourage YOU to find the beauty in your city!