Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Jumped on the bandwagon

I've seen a lot of blogs doing this lately so I decided I just had to do it too.




Overall I'm very flattered. But then again, what celebrities aren't hot babes?

And though I don't think I look too much like Katherine Heigel, I can definitely ask, "when the hell did I ever look like Penelope Cruz?"

So I tried it with a different pic and I got Katherine again. Rose, Adriana (whoever she is), Rachel all stayed the same too, though Christina Ricci was thrown into the mix (hmmm maybe in Sleepy Hollow). But instead of Penelope, I got Halle Berry.

Um, what?

Anyhoo, I realize the photo is a bit shitty quality so click here if you wanna get a better look.

Vice or Virtue?


I think I'm low-maintence.

I've been told I'm low-maintence*.

But I'm starting to think that the line between being low-maintence and being lazy has become blurred. One has positive attributes (who doesn't like things that are easy to maintain?) and the other has negative (have you ever heard of anyone being prided for being a lazy bum?)

So where do you draw the line?

Examples of being low-maintence:

-I expect to talk with my boyfriend once a day. I don't expect anymore.
-I expect to see my boyfriend every couple of days. I don't have to see him everyday and I don't...I only get ancy if it's been more than two nights. Or maybe the correct term is randy.
-I enjoy lying in bed and doing nothing. For hours at a time. Without getting bored.
-I can have as much fun pigging out on candy from 711 than going to a fancy restaurant.
-I have people asking me how my day went. I say "Good." They ask "What did you do?" I draw a blank.
-I can talk to my friends once in a blue moon and I still call them my friends.
-I like beer. And camping.
-I can live out of a backpack for months.
-I would rather text than talk. And I'm crap at both.
-I like Kraft Dinner. Make that, Easy Mac.
-I like naps.

Examples that I may just be lazy:

-This Saturday night, Ross and I had planned to dress up as Al and Peg Bundy (as we had on Friday) and go to Commercial Drive for the Parade of Lost Souls. First our plans were to go on a pub crawl but everyone else bailed and we didn't want to go alone. This was a wise decision since it was the night after my party and we consumed one too many Jell-O shots and homemade punch (otherwise known as ShitMix).So, we figured that we could hit up a friends party on the drive and then watch this ghoulish parade.
Well, along comes Saturday evening. We are both knackered but determined...sorta. Feeling ill from last night, we decided to rent a few scary movies, so that when we return from the parade, we can watch them. Screw going out to a club.
Time goes by. We both decide to have a nap. Eventually I wake up and get into full costume, all raring to go. Ross then wakes up. He's not as enthusiastic as I am. And yet, somehow, I don't mind.
We debate if we should go or not for awhile. He tells me he doesn't care either way, that he would be happy to go or to stay at home. I find myelf agreeing. When we finally come to a desicion to go, we look at the time. By the time we would get to the parade, it would almost be over.
Neither of us seem too dissapointed. Yes, I am in costume but...it just seems like a lot of effort.
"We can watch the movies," he suggests.
"Can we go to 711 and get a whole bunch of candy and pig out?" I ask, getting really excited all of a sudden.
"Yes! And then we can hit up the McDonalds Drive-thru"
I jump up and down with joy.

Is it low-maintence, lazy or just plain sad that I got all dressed up on a Saturday night to go to an awesome Parade of Lost Souls and a fun party, only to end up staying at bf's place, watching The Amityville Horor, eating fast-food, Nerds and Bottle Caps and drinking bottles of Corona? And, might I add, loving every minute of it.



Do I look High-Maintence to you? -All dressed up and no place to go.







*this isn't to say I'm completely low-maintence. Fortunately, the things that require upkeep, such as make-up, clothes etc, are things that lay within my own responsibility and that I enjoy doing. Also, I do like/expect attention and validation and do get annoyed if people don't respond to my emails. AND, I do enjoy going out to a nice restuarant or bar or something fun and fancy. The thing is, my lazy self, that would rather stay in and be a bum, is often under pressure from...society/friends/Cosmo...to go out and do these high-maintence things. Sometimes I would much rather have a nap than go to a club, but there is a stigma associated with that. I say, let's reverse that! Napping is the new black!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Brides aren't Duty Free though


Getting married in the near future? Unsure of where to hold the ceremony? Want to make the event extra special and romantic? Want to do more than buy magazines and duty free liquor at an airport?

Well you're in luck, my friends. Amsterdam's Schipol airport has found an excellent way to combine two very related items: Marriage and Plane Travel. The most ingenious invention since Nuts and Gum (together at last).

Yes, that's right, now instead of just milling around the airport and waiting to pass time, or frantically try to hide all traces of leftover marijuana and magic mushrooms, you can get married. Why didn't someone think of this sooner?

This is perfect for someone who is only getting married for the honeymoon. Just think, you won't even have to bother with a fancy ceremony. Like the website says, you can just say "I do" and go!

I can only imagine the amount of drugged up, porned-out people flooding into Amesterdam's airport and saying, "Hey, you know what would be crazy?"

What I would really like to know is, how come Vegas didn't think of this first?







Kind of gives new meaning to the term.

The Halloween Party

My Halloween Party was on Friday night. Once again, I was unsure of how I was going to fit a bunch of people in my 430 sq ft apartment, but once again, I prevailed. Anyway, I know I was freaking out over my costume, but in the end, I was a swell Peg Bundy.





I even roped Ross into going as Al Bundy. I know the similarities weren't mind blowing (thank God!) but I think it worked. He did have to stay by my side and show off his name tag that said "Al" but people still got the point.











We also had another TV couple there, Ricky and Lucy from Canada's Trailer Park Boys. Here is Ricky getting a beer...
....and playing the Drunk Driver drinking game (which, fortunately, does not involve any drunk driving).








Here is me and Lucy, getting into trouble with my handcuffs. This is a typical pose for us. The only problem is that the handcuffs are easily opened without using the key. Had I known that before I bought them, I wouldn't have forked over the $30. Still...they are fun.









The best costume of the night, had to be the three guys who went as the Blue Man Group. Their costumes were insanely good and felt sooo weird to touch.







The only mild disaster of the night was the fact that the jell-o shots I made, didn't hold together as well as I hoped. But in the end, I just ended up serving it in bowls, and it still did it's job. As did the homemade punch. I don't think there was a sober person in the house.











Peg, Lucy and a Gypsy pretend indulge in bad habits. (Don't we look sooooo cool)





Al, Ricky and Gypsy before the Jell-O shots set in...or maybe afterwards. I don't remember.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

What ever happened to Miss Independent?



I know I lose points for quoting Christina Aguilera/Kelly Clarkson, but I used to kinda sing along to this song when I was single...and I find myself really singing along to it now that I'm in a relationship.






Miss Independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere (no)
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little Miss Apprehensive
I said ooh, she fell in love

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open the door
Surprise! It's time
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), old you,
when love is true.

Miss guarded heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you wanna use that line you better not start
But she miscalculated
She didn't want to end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing her misconceptions
She went in a new direction
And found inside she felt a connection
She fell in love.

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open the door
Surprise! It's time (yeah)
To feel what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), on you (oh you)
When love, when love is true

When Miss Independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to Miss No Longer Afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I finally see...

What is this feelin' takin' over?
Thinkin' no one could open the door
Surprise (surprise), it's time (yeah)
To feel (to feel) what's real
What happened to Miss Independent?
No longer need to be defensive
Goodbye (goodbye), on you
When love, when love is true....


Uh, yeah. Is it sad that I can relate to this song?

My independence is who I am. I am known as a fiercely independent person. I would travel ALONE to countries for months, backpacking around, not speaking the language and be so proud of myself. I used to go to movie theatres alone and eat out alone and do everything alone. People would pat me on the back and say "Wow, you are a brave girl. So independent."

My independence is part of my indentity. It's who I am. I don't want to lose it. Which is why this song, as pop cheesey as it is, touches a nerve.

Does being in a relationship, being in love, mean a compromise of your independence? Suddenly, instead of being able to jet off by yourself to a country for months, you think, I can't do that. I'll miss him/her. When you could do whatever you wanted without missing someone or feeling like you would be happier with that someone?

Is this all just a part of being in a relationship? Is this just what comes from being in love? Or is there some secret way around it, that leaves both you and your heart intact...

Friday, October 27, 2006

Scary Stuff

Getting into the Halloween spirit, I was trying to think of movie I could rent that would scare the shit out of me.

There were some usual suspects like The Shining and The Excorcist. But most of the titles that flashed through my mind were kid's movies. Either movies I found scary as a child, or movies that weren't meant to scare children. In my clouded memory, it's hard to tell the difference. Was I really supposed to be scared of the little midget people in Willow? So I decided to compile a list of movies that freaked me out as a child, unintentionally or not. Some of these films I would like to watch, just to see if the scare tactics still work...I did that with Poltergeist last year and found while the guy ripping apart his face in the bathroom was scary, the tree reaching into the window and grabbing the boy was not.

Anyways, here it goes...

Unintentionally Scary Films:

The Never Ending Story - That dog was freaky!

Labyrinth - Hands grabbing her: Scary! Muppets juggling their heads: Disturbing! Eyes in wall: Creepy! David Bowie in Spandex: oddly mezmerizing.

Return to Oz - And this is supposed to be a children's film? I watched this high on mushrooms once and let me tell you...it's not for kids!

CareBears the Movie and the Sequel - Shut up. It had scary bits.

Jacobs Ladder - Don't think that was a kid's film.

The Witches - Anjelica Houston at her scariest.

Twilight Zone the Movie - Theeeeeeeeeere's. Some. Thing. OnTheWing. (ditto for The Simpson's version)

Aracnophobia - Need I say more?

The Secret of Nimh
- There is something mildly disturbing about that film. Just so....uneasy.

Lost Highway - Again, not a child's film. But Robert Blake with no eyebrows is scary as hell.

Jurassic Park - Raptors will haunt your dreams!

Ghostbusters - There was something in her fridge...

Dumbo - Shut up. Don't tell me you weren't scared by the psychotic Pink Elephants on Parade.

The Birds - His eyes were pecked out!

Flight of the Navigator - The 1st half of the movie was creeeeepy.

The Last Unicorn - Weird, trippy stuff.

****

On a lighter note, we did some pumpkin carving last night. It was Ross's first time (apparently they carve turnips in Scotland) and I must admit...

His half of the pumpkin did turn out better than mine.

I tend to get a bit hasty and impatient and seem to plan without much thought to the physics and dynamics of pumpkin carving.








But in the end, I think we did OK. His is the pretty, cute looking pumpkin and mine is the demented looking one that has gigantism on one side of it's face.

Well, I'm off to start preparing for my party. If anyone knows of any fun Halloween games (anything that can be turned into a drinking game) please let me know. I don't know what I'm going to do with all these people in my wee studio apartment.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Our Own Worst Critic


Mysteries of the heart.


Why is it, that we can love another so deeply, so honestly and so sincerely, despite their faults (or perhaps because of them) and cherish who they really are...

...yet have trouble comprehending, understanding and believing their love for us? Are we so afraid sometimes of who we really are inside, that we can't fathom how anyone can love us in the way that we so unselfishly love them?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Stereotypically Stereotyped (?)


Since I am unemployed and putting way too much emphasis on getting a Halloween costume (not just any costume but something really cool...nevermind) I decided to scroll about the blog world as a way to take my mind of things. Things that aren't coming in time for Halloween...anyhoo.


I've always like Moxie's blog. She seems to know her stuff. So I was perusing her site when I came across this post.

If you are too lazy to go read it (though I think you should) it's basically about a girl wanting sex more than her boyfriend. She feels unattractive and useless, which is completely understandable, because we have been taught that guys should want sex all the time, and if they don't then it means they aren't attracted to you. It got me thinking because I've read a few blogs over the last few months talking about the exact same thing. It seems to be a sort of current epidemic, affecting women everywhere...

Of course, people's comments on this issue have ranged from sympathetic ("My boyfriend doesn't care for sex much either") to optimistic ("Try dressing up as Princess Leia in the gold bikini and add some spice to the relationship") to brutal honesty ("It sounds like you've gotten fat" or "He's obviously gay").

What's interesting though: let's pretend that none of those comments hit the mark.

Let's say that the "Stereotype" that men want sex all the time, isn't true.

Well... is it?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A dress cooking on the stove


I've been laid off for a week now.

Guess what I've done with myself:


A) Did schoolwork



B) Looked for new jobs


C) Started writing my novel



D) Drove around town, ripping my hair out and throwing a hissy fit at the inability to find the perfect Halloween costume since the one I ordered isn't coming in on time.

The answer is A.



Ha. Just kidding. The answer is D, of course.

First of all, let's get one thing straight:

I love Halloween. I love it like the smuggled wine I am drinking, like the buttered popcorn I just popped in the microwave.

It's my favourite time of year. I've never not had a Halloween. Even in NZ where it's not really celebrated, and where I've had TWO Halloweens, I still dressed up (as Rogue from Xmen and Marilyn Monroe, respectively). Sure I got weird looks, but I didn't care (though it was weird having Halloween on a balmy, Spring night...).

Growing up, I would have the most awesome Halloween parties complete with a haunted house in the garage. I even trick or treated until I was 15 (and only stopped because no one believed I was 10 anymore and I wasn't metablozing candy as well).

So, of course, this year I jumped in on the action of getting an orginal costume. After hemming and hawing over Selene from Underworld, I decided the blue contacts were too pricey and that I should go for something different. Low and behold I saw a costume on Ebay for Phoenix (Xmen) and soon I was bidding. All I had to do next was get the red wig. I was a bit iffy about having to wear a spandex suit (I don't really have the body to pull off the skintight look), but I made piece with it. The nicest part was that Ross decided to go as Wolverine. I'd never done a coupley thing before (then again, never really had a bf on Halloween...oh, except for my Ex, who went as ME) and I was excited.

Then I got the email. Yesterday. They hadn't shipped the suit yet. I wasn't going to get it for Halloween.

FUCKING BASTARDS.

I paid for it THREE WEEKS ago, but thanks to Ebay, I can't even complain about it because if I give negative feedback to that twat in Shaghai, she'll do the same to me. But seriously, I paid for the fast shipping, I asked if it would be here this week and everything was promised. Now, I find out I'll have a Phoenix costume...in a few weeks. What bloody use is that? Maybe for dress up (wink) but still....ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

So, you can understand I'm in a bit of a predicament. Especially since my bloody WIG hasn't even arrived yet. I'm hoping by Friday, the night of the party I'm having, but ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

This is when I had to think, if I do get the wig in time...what the hell am I going to be? What the hell requires a red wig? AND is a movie character, since I like to keep to that theme.

I spent last night musing about it and feeling sick. Then this morning, it hit me:

Ah ha! Ariel, The Little Mermaid. So I drove about, trying to find a mermaid costume. No such luck, but I did buy enough crap to make my own mermaid costume.

So I tried it on. I realized that I was squeamish about spandex and yet with Ariel I had to walk around in a BRA??? Who was I kidding? I'm not Giselle. I can't wear a bra in public, even if it is purple and covered in seashells.

The thought of my flabby gut being bared for all the world to see while stick-thin girls tramped around in slutty fairy costumes, made me rethink the whole mermaid idea. Damn you Ariel! Why are you such a slutty mermaid!?

Then I realized that this purple, tight ass prom dress I had bought earlier from a thrift store for $2 would be perfect for another red head....Jessica Rabbit.

Hmmmm. Yes. Jessica...red wig....purple dress...NO WAIT. Her gloves are purple, her dress is red.

No problem, I thought. I can get red dye.

Hours later, I was back at home with a purple prom dress cooking in a stock pot full of bubbling red dye. Notice I say purple still, because the FREAKIN dye did not work, even though it says it would dye acetate.

The world is full of lies.

So, here I am. Running out of time, money and options. I can't even find my backup costume, which is Kill Bill. Sigh.

What the hell am I going to do?

*Probably going to get red fabric paint and paint the dress red. But if that doesn't work, I'm screwed once more. SO if anyone has any ideas to do with a movie/tv character that either has red hair, blonde hair or a strapless purple dress, I would looooove your suggestions. Maybe even Lindsay Lohan (redhead) OR Jessica Simpson (blonde), though I don't know what I could wear that would suggest either of the two (and please do not suggest short daisy duke cut-offs...or a pink bikini). Booo, and my popcorn is burnt*

Seattle in Colour


Blogger better not f'up these photos, or I swear... *shakes fist at computer*

Anyhoo, so yes, arg. I'm in a foul mood due to Halloween stress but I'll get to that later since I should really keep in coordination with the previous post.

So, Ross and I went to Seattle over the weekend. We had been talking about it for ages, and being spontaneous he booked a really nice hotel in the Capital Hill area.

Got to the border (after a half-hour detour through the streets of Surrey because I took the wrong bridge. Alex Fraser, Port Mann, Patullo...they all sound the same) only to find ourselves in an hour-long line up.

Normally, I take the truck crossing since there is less traffic, but since this was Ross's first trip to the States, I thought the Peace Arch crossing was more "official."

Anyway. Big mistake. Line-up took forever, plus I have a knack of choosing the WRONG line. Always, without fail.

Of course, we had to go into Immigration because Ross needed a visa. The immigration officer was friendly as heck but a bit of a nutter, since he alternated speaking French and German to Ross, knowing full well that Ross is Scottish. He also added that Ross had to turn in his visa at the end 0f 90 days, so that they know he's not in California picking fruit with the Mexicans (his words).

By the time we reached Seattle, we were so tired that we just retired to our room and had a nap. Spent the whole evening debating what to do and in the end just drank, ordered room service and watched Tallegeda Nights and Superman Returns. We then decided that we are the laziest couple on Earth. And we like it.

Next day though, we had Ihop (grain and nut pancakes are SO good) and made our to the Public Market. We didn't have all the time in the world, but figured the market was such a well known Seattle icon that maybe it was the most touristy thing we could do.

It was nice, lively and filled with nutters who sell crabs and yell at you as you walk past.

We also saw two pirates, one with a possum on his shoulder and another with a parrot. And then the biggest spider we have ever seen...












Fufilling our Seattle destiny, we then lazed around in Tully's coffee for about an hour, before passing by Ross's store:

We left for Alderwood mall which has my favourite store (Forever 21) which I love because we don't have it in Canada. Of course, as luck would have it, I forgot my credit card at home so I couldn't blow a huge wad of cash that I didn't have. Instead, I just had my bank card which is a no-touch situation since I had to pay my mortgage today and well...there's not much in there.

It was just as well.

We got to the border at 8 pm, only to be stuck AGAIN in the longest line ever. This time I was at the truck crossing, but due to my knack (or curse) of choosing the wrong line, it took a bloody hour as the other lane zipped by and we moved at a snail's pace. At this time I began to lose it.

Then we finally got to the border gaurd, only to get the third degree. Apparently, I was under the wrong impression...I knew that if you go for less than 24 hours, you can only bring $50 of stuff back duty free. So I assumed that OVER 24 hours, you could bring $100.

Nope. If you stay over 48 hours then you can bring $200. So, needless to say, it was a mistake to declare anything. We got the third degree from the border jerk who proceeded to question everything in the car: "What's in that box?" "What's in that bag at your feet?" "What's in the trunk?" And then he informed us that we had to go pull into customs because I lied about how much we spent and because I only showed him one receipt. What, did he think I was going to spend an hour scrounging around my bags looking for the receipts that I most likely threw out?

Oh and he found wine and beer. Which, also, you have to declare. And we didn't.

Thankfully, once inside a nicer border customs person dealt with us. He made us pay the duty on what we bought (although, I didn't declare my Sephora purchases...shhhh) and gave us a warning about next time. Plus he waved the duty on the wine and beer which was nice. I think he genuinly believed that I was misinformed about the whole thing. Or maybe it was because Ross is Scottish and I'm blonde so he let us off easy.

Funny thing is, I've been shopping to the States about 20x (or more) in my life and I NEVER declare anything, even though I only go for a few hours and bring back $500 worth of clothes. I just artfully conceal stuff in the glove compartment, wear 3 sets of bras, skirts over pants, plus a few layers of shirts, then I take what's left, rip off the tags, muss it up a bit and scatter it around my car to make it look like it's old stuff. Works like a charm.

The truth bites. Hi diddly dee, a smuggler's life for me.

Seattle in Black and White



When it comes to artistic licence, there is no grey area. Behold: silly, wannabe artsy photos of Seattle.

And yes.

Some of these photos have a lot of grey in them.










Monday, October 23, 2006

The Full Monty


Ah, what a weekend. Just got back from a wee road trip to Seattle last night. That was an adventure in itself as Ross and I caused mayhem and mischief at both borders. But before I blog about our smuggling ways, I should get on about Friday night.

Yes, Friday night, the first time I ever went to a gay bar AND saw a male strip show. We wanted to do something different for once, and this was about as different as we could get.

The picture taken above, is of Leanne and I in the bathroom (yes, they had a Ladies washroom at the gay bar) since you aren't allowed to take pictures in the actual bar itself (apparently you could out someone). It was kind of dissapointing since we wanted naked pictures of the stripper but I guess I could link you to this page and you can kinda get the idea (and I think that is actaully him).

Anyway, we were quite the giggle twins as we entered the Dufferin. We got a few looks from some of the men, but no one was like "get those two straight girls outta here!" For all they thought, we were probably lesbians.

The bar itself was a bit down at its heels, not at all what I expected. But laidback nonetheless. The stage was tiny and a bunch of tables were pushed up against it. The bartender recommended with take the front row, but we were happy a few seats behind. We weren't sure what to expect and if there was a possibility of being injured in the front row.

We sat next to Bill, a very drunk man in a flannel shirt who called me "Frank" and Leanne, "Joe." Before the show started, he got talking a bit about himself. He was 50 years old and studying Theology at UBC. He's an Aboriginal Indian, a devout Catholic who goes to Mass every Sunday and openly gay. He says that the church knows but he hasn't been kicked out yet. He then went on to dicuss the topic of his Thesis, and at this point he lost both of us.

We wanted the stripper!

Thankfully, Bill turned his attention on some guy (who happened to be a Protestant Minister...) and the show began.

The stripper came out in a fireman's uniform.

He proceeded to strip and dance around us.

He proceeded to light a fire on stage and rub baby oil all over himself.

He proceeded to bare all.

He could have poked someone's eye out.

We were very happy.

Although, at the end, I think it would have been preferable if he hadn't left on his black loafers and black socks. It kind of reminded me of a very fit and blessed, naked German tourist.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Thank God It's Friday...



Drinking champagne and about to go to a gay male strip club, and then go drink and dance our faces off.

I know I recently expressed how no one would go with me to a female strip show, but thankfully Leanne suggested a male strip show and I agreed.

And I'm bringing my camera.

Bring on the hot, male and gay nudity. Woo-woo!

Why am I not surprised...

Well, the good ol' US of A just passed the 300 million population mark the other day and one thing that stands out, aside from the fact that there are a hell of a lot more cars on the road, is the fact that marriage is now on the decline. More and more people are opting to raise their families by themselvs, or live with their loved ones instead of marrying them, taking the term "till death do us part" to "Until I get sick of you and move out."

But just because the decline of marriage is a new thing, doesn't mean it hasn't been happening elsewhere in the world. For example:

To see what the future holds, Americans could look to Europe, where marriage rates are plummeting and illegitimate births are the norm—prompting widespread concern about how to promote family stability, especially for children. "We've moved from de jure to de facto marriage," says Kathleen Kiernan of the London School of Economics. She estimates that 50 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds in Europe are cohabiting. The numbers are highest, perhaps 70 percent, in Scandinavia, especially Sweden. The Swedes have even created their own term for someone who cohabits: "sambo," a word that appears on official forms besides the options "married" and "single." Another new word, "sarbo," refers to people who consider themselves a couple but live apart.

Meanwhile a survey was done in the US, which may explain why marriage in the States is suddenly in the decline. The which found that young men these days are more reluctant to get married...The authors of the study, called The State of Our Unions, said they were puzzled (What do they live under a rock or something?) by their findings, based on face-to-face group interviews with 60 heterosexual men in Chicago, New Jersey, Washington, D.C. and Houston, aged 25-33. The majority of the men are employed full-time with reported annual incomes between $21,000 and $35,000. Most have had some college or hold a BA. None of the men were married; three had children.

So they found that men are afraid to commit...did they really need a study to figure that out?

Anyway, the article went on to examine the Top Ten Reasons Why Men Won't Commit. Again, I don't think you'll find any of them to be surprising. Then again, maybe you live in a bubble.

10 Reasons Men Won't Commit

Reason 1: Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past. The men reported that meeting women is easy: at bars, through friends, at work, and on the Internet. Though men want to become friends with a woman before becoming seriously involved, casual sex, they said, is easy to come by (Tell me something we don't know).
Reason 2: Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. Men think living together is a good way to test out a marriage prospect. They also view living together as less risky than marriage. At the same time, the men in the study like the convenience of having a regular sex partner. And several said they appreciate the domestic benefits of cohabitation, and the ability to share expenses, but thought marriage unnecessary at this point in life (JUST as I suspected).

Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks. Men feel that their financial assets are better protected if they cohabit rather than marry. They also fear that an ex-wife will take financial advantage during settlement proceedings (Women will only milk you for all you've got if you cheat on them. So don't cheat on them and you'll be set).

Reason 4:
Men want to wait until they are older to have children. Although men understand that women worry about their biological clocks, they say they don't have to. And they don't want to be pressured into marriage by women who want marriage in order to have children (That's a pile of shit. Who says all women have baby fever? And if a woman these days really wants a baby THAT bad, she's better off going to a sperm bank. Women don't actually need marriage for that anymore).

Reason 5: Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. The men savor their freedom to enjoy hobbies, late nights out and freedom from extra financial burdens. They want to postpone absorbing extra responsibilities until they are on extra-solid footing in a number of areas (Does anyone REALLY want extra responsibilities?).

Reason 6:
Men are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't yet appeared. A soul mate, the men said, is a woman who accepts them just as they are and won't try to change them. The men said they don't want to settle for second-best. In some cases, the men even said they were living with a woman who was their version of a second-best partner. These men are continuing to hunt for the perfect soul mate (could explain a lot).

Reason 7: Men face few social pressures to marry. Today's young men encounter few traditional pressures from religion, employers or society to marry. Some said they have been mildly teased from parents who want grandchildren, but most of the men said their parents are willing to help support them -- and even allow them to move back home -- until they are ready to marry (Which would explain why so many bloody men live with their parents).

Reason 8: Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children. Men said they feel badly if they establish a relationship with the children of a woman and then break up with the mother. They also want to avoid competition and conflict with the children's biological father. One man says that it is easier to date a woman with children if the father is entirely out of the picture (I guess this just speaks for itself, though its surprising how many single mums there are out there...so in that respect, I guess it kinda sucks).

Reason 9: They want to own a house before they get a wife. Men want to be financially "set" before they marry. For many men, this means home ownership should come before marriage. Most of the men interviewed are living with a parent, relative, roommates or girlfriends (Meanwhile its the single women like me who are buying up the property).

Reason 10:
Men want to enjoy a single life as long as they can. Men fear losing their solitary pleasures by marrying, the study found. And they become accustomed to their own space and routines. They enjoy the freedom of not having to be responsible to anyone else (Oh, and women don't?).

And then this from a survey they asked men nationwide (this being the States but I'm sure it applies to Canada too):

A wise man says: "It is no surprise that young men are unwilling to commit to marry when their partners are willing to live with them and provide sexual and domestic services. The old and crude adage is still true: 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'"

All I have to say to that is, Ah Ha! Bingo.

And this woman agrees:
"I have lived with my boyfriend for eight years. We share everything, but he will not take that last step and get married. If something was to happen to him today, I would be out in the cold. I have helped him establish a home, fixed it up, and take care of it, but my name is nowhere on anything."

OR

Maybe a lot of us agree with this young lady:
"The article 'Afraid to Commit: Young Men Want to Wait on Marriage' makes all women sound like they are desperate to "hook" a man! It insinuates that this is all women live for and men have total reign over this. Please get with the times! "

I'll end on that note.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

How Much is That Man Outside My Window....

I think things have to happen to me a few times before I learn.

Case in point: despite my previous unintentional peep-show, I decided to get dressed. I've figured since the man has gone down the side of the building and my curtains are closed, I'm safe. So, I'm taking off my top cuz I'm never satisfied on my first clothing choice when I look in the mirror and see a pair of legs, dangling behind me. Oh, right. Not only is the other window not closed, but generally, window washers wash all the windows on the building and not just one.

Thankfully, after I saw the legs (and snapped a photo) I ran into the bathroom before any further damage was done. I stayed in there for awhile.

****
Ah, crap. I just ripped a hole in the crotch of my favourite jeans. Booo hooo hooo :(

****

Anyhoo, part of being unemployed is finding things to amuse yourself on the internet. I did this at work so it's not that much different, only here I can surf in my underwear...or atleast I could.

Anyway, I stole this fun/lame quiz thing from another blog and thought, hell, I'm sure people are just dying to know more about me.

OK, I know you're not, but don't ruin my delusion. It's all I have left.

(Plus, I've added a whole bunch of fun links. I'm so productive)

What have you done?

(X) Smoked a joint - I'm from Vansterdam, pot capital of the world. What do you think?

() Done cocaine - Fuck no. I'm very anti-cocaine cuz a lot of my friends have coke problems and it's just so sad. Oh and my brother is a recovering drug-addict who was so addicted he had to live on the street for many years and panhandle in order to buy more drugs. So I've got ZERO tolerance for idiots who do cocaine. If you know how easy it is to become addicted, then why the hell are you using? Fucknuts.

(X) Been in love - In the past, I thought I was in love several times. But now I know I wasn't. So I'll just say, yes, once. Now.

() Had a threesome - I know threesomes are all the rage these days, and a lot of chicks are doing it to be considered "cool" in front of their buddies, but it's just not for me. I'm not into "sharing" by bf and know that when couples are involved a lot of jealously naturally ensues. Enough that it destroys their relationship. And though it would work better with three, unattached people, I'm not into casual sex, so there goes that idea. Three's a crowd, anyway, and I know I would be the one left out.

(X) Been dumped - Always. Except once: I dumped my first bf...and then ten years of karma followed.

(X) Shoplifted - Yes, many times and no, not proud of it. I blame my childhood best friend (you know who you are) who made me take a caramel from Safeway and we got caught. Then growing up it was mainly toy dinosaurs that I took. Don't ask.

(X) Been fired - Um. Yes. Well, never "fired" but I've been laid off about four times so far.

(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - Story of my life. Damn you Thai, you stupid Aussie pig!

( ) Been arrested - No, I've had good luck with the cops, although there have been numerous times when I should have been busted for one thing or another. I guess I look innocent and so they never search my bag, my pockets, my blood alcohol content or the trunk of my car.

(X) Made out with a stranger - Um. Hmmm. Do guys you meet that night count as strangers? What if you can't remember their names?

(X) Gone on a blind date - Yes, years ago. In Whistler, my mom set up me and my friend up with these two guys whoms fathers she knew. We ended up breaking into someones roof top hot tub and my friend (who had a bf at the time) started getting with some guy and taking off her top. Meanwhile the pushy guy I got wouldnt take no for an answer so I had to fake that I was going to vomit and then I ran all the way back to the hotel. Sorry Susan, I didn't mean to ditch you, it's just you looked like you were having fun!

(X) Lied to a friend - Sure. Probably for their own good though. It's not something I make a habit of.

() Had a crush on a teacher - I want to say yes... but I don't think so.

(X) Been to Europe - Heck yes, about 5 or 6 times and I'm going back in a month or two. When your Mom is Finnish, your dad is Norwegian, your boyfriend is Scottish and you have an insatiable travel bug, Europe is always the go-to place.

() Seen someone die - No. Saw someone that might have died later, though.

(X) Been to Canada - Sure.

(X) Been to Mexico - Been about 6 times but only to Cabo San Lucas/San Jose del Cabo and Puerta Vallarta...going back there next month.

(X) Thrown up in a bar - I would assume so, considering.

(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show -
Of course, and that reminds me, what's Halloween without the Time Warp?

() Purposely set a part of yourself on fire - Um, no but does dipping fingers in candle wax count?

(X) Been snowboarding - It's a right of passage in BC. But my first time was my last time because some jerk in a moose costume pushed me down the hill. I decided to stick to skiing (and beware of those moose people).

(X) Met a celebrity - Robin Williams (my mom offered him coffee which scared him), Kirsten Dunst (she was cute when she was 13), Jon Voight (nice guy, said hello to me, which scared me), Anna Paquin (OK, so I talked to her over the phone, but who cares), Gregory Smith (same deal), Sean William "Stifler" Scott (he was such a cutie and was just being nice when he told me "I like the flowers in your hair" and I said "No. They're ugly"...can't take a compliment, even from a celebrity), Jessica Simpson (of course), Brian Singer (Xmen director..and Hugh Jackson smiled at me, who was also there), Emilio Estevez (I didn't know who he was at the time), Scott Wolf (cute and short), Tigger and the drummer for the Smashing Pumpkins (he stole my pen)...meh, I think there is others but I can't remember. Have had "encounters" with such people as Billy Corgan, Courtney Love, Mary Tyler Moore, Elliot Gould, Morgan Fairchild, Hugh Laurie and William Valderama but I didn't really meet them.

(X) Met someone from the Internet in person - Ha, yes. I was disapointed because he looked so much gayer in real life...and he was also insane.

(x) Been moshing at a concert - NOFX, Pennywise, Deftones and numerous Warped Tours.


(x) Gone backstage at a concert - Jessica Simpson...well, I was also on the stage as well. But that's cause I won the look-alike contest, not because I really wanted to be there.

(X) Laid outside in the grass and watched cloud shapes go by -
Yep.

(X) Made a snow angel -
Every year.

(X) Flown a kite - Think I did when I was younger. I recall it hitting me in the head...or maybe that was a Charlie Brown cartoon I saw.

() Cheated while playing a game - I don't think so. Does memorizing all the answers to Trivial Pursuit count as cheating?

(X) Been lonely - Once in awhile.

() Fallen asleep at work - I don't fall asleep in public places.

() Fallen asleep at school - See above.

(X) Used a fake ID - Heck yes! I was Carol Ann Black from Edmonton, Alberta for the loooongest time. Funny thing was, I looked nothing like her but she did get me into a lot of clubs before I turned 19. So, if you are out there Carol, thanks!

() Been kicked out of a bar - No, but I know I should have been.

(X) Felt an earthquake - I've felt quite a few. I live in the EARTHQUAKE ZONE and during school we always had bloody earthquake drills. Vancouver and such is on a fault line and we are supposed to get "The Big One" any century now. But so far, it's been a bunch of tremors. Still scary though.

(X) Touched a snake -
My friend Jace has a snake, which I've had on me. Oh, and in Australia I had a giant boa constrictor on my shoulders, as well as several other pythons. Not really afraid of them, although they do make me a bit nervous.

() Read “War and Peace” - No. But the movie has Audrey Hepburn in it which made me want to see it, if only I didn't hear it was boring as hell.

(X) Slept beneath the stars - Yay! Love it! The best time I had was in Australia, in the outback, in just a sleeping bag, looking up at the most heavenly night sky I have ever seen.

(X) Been robbed -
Sure. My family has anyway, and I've had a lot of my stuff stolen.

(X) Won a contest - Yeah, I won a free flight with Air New Zealand (within New Zealand), The Jessica Simpson look alike contest, and recently, the Rock 101 Grand Marnier BBQ party. Suck at lotto tickets though.

(X) Run a red light -
Accidently, and only when I'm running a yellow.

() Been suspended from school -
No, I'm good in that respect.

(X) Had braces - Yep, I had braces for 4 years. I sucked my thumb when I was younger so I think it gave me a bit of an overbite. Anyhoo, now my teeth are straight (except for one, but I ignore it).

(X) Felt like an outcast - I am an outcast.

(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - Um. Yes. I'm sure there were tears involved though. Before and after.

(X) Had deja vu -
I'm having it right now.

() Totaled a car - No. Never been in a car accident (surprising, isn't it?)

() Stolen a car - Why would I do that? I have a car.

(X) Hated the way you look - Hmmm, about 95% of the time.

(X) Witnessed a crime - Witnessed three muggings and they were all in New Zealand which is supposed to be "safe."

() Been to a strip club - No one will go with me :( And I REALLY want to see a burlesque show, too.

(X) Been to the opposite side of the world - A few times.

(X) Swam in the ocean -
All the time. I grew up on a boat.

(X) Felt like dying - When I was a depressed teenager and would write poems about it.

(X) Cried yourself to sleep - About once a month, sometimes for no reason.

(X) Sung karaoke - Hehe. Yes. Recently. But privately.

(X) Paid for a meal with only coins - I'm unemployed, so, yes.

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't - All the time. I'm wishy washy.

(X) Made prank phone calls - Ah yes. Loved to call the Chat Lines when I was 12 and get horny old men to meet me at a fictional restaurant.

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue - What about up the nose? That would be a hard one.

() Been kissed under the mistletoe - Sadly, I think not.

(X) Had a bonfire on the beach - A summer pastime. Combine living near the beach, with booze and teenagers.

(X) Crashed a Party - Sure. But I don't think they minded I was there...at first, anyway. It' s usually the company I am with who they mind, and then I get guilty by association.

() Seen a tornado - Only in my nightmares. Damn you, Twister!

(X) Had a wish come true - Yeah, several times. One happened moments after I wished it on a shooting star. But I'm not that lucky anymore.

() Gone bungee jumping - Had plenty of oppurtunities in NZ, but nothing came of it...I'm afraid of heights.

() Gone parasailing - See above.

(X) Screamed in public - Yeah. But I just came out of a seizure and was being loaded into an ambulance, so I was a bit out of it.

() Told a complete stranger you loved them - Who hasn't? (No really, who does this?)

(X) Had a one night stand
- No. And I'm proud of it.

(X) Kissed a mirror - But with no tongue.

(X) Had a dream that you married someone - Yeah. I woke up crying.

() Gotten your fingers stuck together with super glue - You would think.

() Been a cheerleader - Hahaha. No.

(X) Sat on a roof top - Roofs are fun, like forts.

() Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight - I hate the phone. I would have to say 2 hours has been my max.

(X) Stayed up all night - Many, many times, though I'm sad too say it rarely happens anymore. Too damn tired all the time.

(X) Not taken a shower for three days - Heck yes! It's fun to be dirty. But this has all been whilst on wee adventure tours and trips where there is no access to running water...did bathe myself in the ocean though.

(X) Made contact with a ghost while playing a Ouija board - YES! It told my friend that she and her bf would be in a car accident...and three days later, they were in a car accident. Coincidence? I think not!

(X) Had more than 30 pairs of shoes at a time - I think I have that many. But I only wear about 5 of them. Erm, 5 pairs of them.

() Gone streaking - Not that shameless

() Been skinny dipping - Again, not that shameless. Wait. No, yep, not that shameless.

(X) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on - Just this summer. Thanks Ross.

(X) Had sex in a public or semi-public place - Many times. Yay! Whooooo! Fun!

() Been kissed by a complete stranger - See 'kissed a stranger'

() Broken a bone -
I've had my bones broken, but I've never broken my own bones. ..

() Caught a butterfly - They are quicker than you think.

(X) Mooned/flashed someone - Yes. Maybe I am that shameless.

(X) Had someone moon/flash you - Never anything good to look at, though.

(X) Cheated on a test - Yes. Math. A lot.

(X) Forgotten someone's name - I forget my own name sometimes...no, really.

(X) Slept naked - Yeah but I don't make a habit of it. I like feeling contained.

() Gone white water rafting - Always wanted to.

() Seen the Grand Canyon - No, damnit. I planned to several times, but they all fell through. One day.

So that's me.